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Dear Black Women,

I want to start off by thanking for you finally embracing me the way you always should have. I had my time in the spotlight decades ago, and then I faded away, and now I am back with a vengeance! So far I am having a pretty good run. You guys are doing a great job spreading the word by keeping me in the news. In fact, I am blown away by all the attention I am getting. It is almost overwhelming, and slightly embarrassing. Every blog or website that curate has a daily shrine erected just for me. It’s hard not feel special and I must say I am having an even harder time preventing the onset of an overblown ego.

I am a little concerned though, about the challenges I seem to be posing for a lot of you. It seems like despite your willingness to accept me for what I am, you are not quite sure how to really love me without any reservations. Our relationship is quite confusing to me, and maybe that’s why I tend to be a little hard on you, especially on those days when you refuse to listen to me and decide to do something that you know both of us will regret. I think we are both to blame for our sometimes tumultuous relationship. I know that I can be difficult at times, and I wish I could change that but unfortunately it is part of my makeup. I can’t alter who I am to suit your needs or to help you feel more comfortable with yourself. What I can do is try to help you understand me better, so that we can establish a mutually beneficial bond that will only get better in time.

But in order for that to happen, you have to be all in! And that requires a deeper commitment. You can’t love me one day and hate me the next. You can’t complain about me incessantly or threaten me with the plethora of options at your disposal. Yes, I know I have massive competition and I should be eternally grateful that despite how enticing those options are, you still manage to reject the temptations and stick with me. It is still unnerving to know that there is the likelihood that you will leave me for good. But I beseech you to make the effort to allow our relationship to flourish organically.

From my standpoint, I think the best way to go about this, is to not see my as the enemy or unnecessary punishment. I am in your life because I am meant to be. I am not here to hurt, belittle or shame you. I am on your side. I want you to shine and be the best you can be. I want to be the reason why you smile when you look in the mirror and most importantly I want to elevate the key facets of your life. You carry me everywhere you go, and that means that we are team effort. If you look bad or feel bad, those emotions carry over to me. It makes me feel guilty and inadequate, and I start to wonder if maybe we might have made a mistake. Perhaps, we are not supposed to co-exist if being together only breeds pain and frustration.

If you are truly ready to make this work, the best way to enjoy my benefits is to take the time to get to know me. It sounds a lot harder than it sounds. You can’t listen to what people say or seek advice from bloggers or specialists, because at the end of the day, this is between me and you. We have to work out the kinks together. Building a foundation takes time and effort, but the rewards are beyond worth it. I guarantee that if you dedicate yourself to me and give me a chance to wow you, you will develop a love for me that will leave you delightfully fulfilled. I have so much to give you and I am excited to show that if only you would give me the chance.

I am not as complicated as I have been pumped up to be. I won’t downplay my tendency to get out of hand but I am also easy to subdue if you learn my secrets. The good news is that I am willing to help you figure me out because like I mentioned earlier, I want the best for you. You have to stop being afraid of what you might find if you dig deeper. What lies beneath is simply an extension of you and for that reason it can’t be that bad –right? You don’t need to drown me products in an effort to hide my true nature. It hurts my feelings and makes me wonder if you are doing this to run away from what we really mean to each other.

Sorry to be going on and on like this, but I needed to get this out. I will conclude by offering one important piece of advice. We will be happy together if you just remember to handle me with care and respect. I am tough but also uncontrollably fragile. I like to be pampered with treatments every once in a while but too much of that can make me weak and vulnerable. I don’t mind sticking to your style of choice for long periods of time but I do like it when you change it up a bit because it makes me feel special and keeps our relationship fresh and exciting. Finally don’t always use my as an excuse for your bad days. I respond to whatever you give me so if things go bad, that is kind of out of my control.

We can do this! I have faith that you and I will find a rhythm that will keep us dancing for a lifetime. You just have to find that beat. And if you trust me enough, I will help you.

Cheers

Your Hair Forever!

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  • [email protected]

    This is a Great Letter that describes an important issue.

  • CourtneyrrR

    Beautiful letter. And if you follow this rule of thumb, you will have hair. Nothing but beauty all around .Embrace what’s yours. When black girls are babies and growing, just let it grow. Nourish it and allow it to sprout. Just like Beyonce is doing. She is showing young black girls the way. Listen to her. Never mind that she wears wigs etc. Thats for show. But she is giving the world a living example that black girls grow hair. All black girls. Bravo BEY! and Solange. They have that I don’t give a damn vibe to them that I love. :)

  • ALM247

    I adore that picture! It’s as if Solange and her husband are looking at an image of their future daughter.

  • Anonin

    Idk this was really cute…

    • roo08

      I just picture my hair giving a shy smile while blushing LOL…

  • roo08

    I love that picture so much! I was just thinking the other day that Blue will probably start desiring for her hair to be like her mother’s as she gets older. At least she has someone close that to her that can make her feel like her hair is normal and worthy to be shown off.
    Also love this letter, it’s beautiful. Our hair has been under such attack and I agree it’s about time it got loved and nurtured. The natural hair community is stuck on curls and everyone’s individual journey is different and takes time but I’m glad we are starting SOMEWHERE…

    • Guest

      I think that the natural hair community is learning to fall in love with our natural hair, the curls are just the first step–So I don’t mind that were stuck on it for now. But agree that we are starting somewhere.