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Credit: BuzzFeed/YouTube ScreenGrab

BuzzFeed Video’s Daysha Edewi is giving both women and men something to think about in her new spoken word video “What I Wish Someone Told Me About Having Sex.” Edewi recounts an experience with a guy, and although they used protection, she didn’t protect her emotions.

“I thought I knew everything there was to know about having safe sex. Always carry a condom and never ever get pregnant,” Edewi states in the poem.

And she’s so right.

When it comes to sex, there are those people out there who are able to detach emotionally from it, but there are others who have a harder time doing so. And typically some people correlate this with women, but I’m sure there are men out there who have issues with this as well.

Edewi’s video speaks the truth of what happens to a lot of women, but that doesn’t mean that all women are looking at their phones all night waiting for that person to call them.

Take a look at the video below:

Basically, the moral of the story is: protect your body and your emotions.

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  • Noirluv45

    Excellent video. Finally the discussion I’ve been waiting for. Usually when the discussion of safe sex comes up, I have often brought up the emotional as well as physical protection women need. I believe it’s usually women who suffer when we feel disposed of after we’ve given our bodies — not saying it doesn’t happen to men, but I’ve never heard a man say, “I felt used after having sex with a woman, but I could be wrong). We talk about women’s rights to be promiscuous and we drill in about how important “safe sex” is, but no one talks about the women who feel disposed of like yesterday’s garbage. We know there are men who will say and do anything to have sex, including telling a girl/woman that he loves her and that she’s the one for him. Then, once she lets her guard down, he’s off to the next conquest and/or he slut shaming her. I’ve seen it happen so many times. This is one of the reasons I have a problem with the message of promiscuity.

    • Mico

      I agree with everything you’re saying. I believe in sex positivity, and dismantling the idea that if a woman is exploring her sexuality in a way that she desires, she needs to be dehumanized, called names, etc. However, too many people in the sex positivity ‘movement’, attempt to shame those whose sexual exploration is not as ‘open’ as theirs is and go in the other direction and shame women who they think are ‘repressed’. I feel like a healthy well rounded sexual education class, that explores how our bodies work, and also at least introduces the idea of different sexualities, including that of asexuality, is necessary for young adults. This should also include or be followed by emotional intelligence classes, so that young people can have some guidance in learning about themselves, their emotions, etc., and also how to treat others in relationships and even friendships. Both young men and young women should be taught more about loving and respecting themselves, setting boundaries for their relationships, what to do when those boundaries are crossed or broken, and how to figure out what they actually want from a specific relationship, and effective communication skills, basically hallmarks of healthy relationships. When more men are discouraged by society to lie, cheat, have as many women as possible, that is when things may begin to change towards healthier relationships. However, I do sometimes fear that because we are moving more and more towards selfishness and greed as behaviors to emulate, that this may never become reality.

  • [email protected]

    Daysha Edewi’s video is powerful, emotional, and it made very strong, accurate points. Sex is a very powerful act. It changes lives forever emotionally, etc. That is why partners who do decide to have sex have every right to have discussions before and after sex (about the relationship, about life in general, about their situations, etc.), so emotional strength is developed. We don’t want anyone to be hurt as a product of sex, so sex should be used in a way that is not meant to harm a person from an emotional standpoint. Daysha’s video shows what takes place worldwide. This isn’t just an American situation. It’s an international situation. As the video says, it is not enough to get protection. Both partners who engage in sexual contact must be ready for it and be respected of their human value. Any human being should have their value respected. This conversation must be expressed in our society. Too many people in society live by materialism, greed, exploitation, and evil manipulation. We should promote instead the values of justice, integrity, honesty, and human autonomy. We are not totally liberated until all people are liberated.

  • Eduardo

    “When it comes to sex, there are those people out there who are able to
    detach emotionally from it, but there are others who have a harder time
    doing so. And typically some people correlate this with women, but I’m
    sure there are men out there who have issues with this as well.”

    I wish you would’ve gone into why that is. On the one hand this video supports the stereotype of women as emotionally more vulnerable than men. The idea that women are emotionally more fragile is actually a very conservative idea. In this day and age that seems a bit reactionary. Perhaps more research into oxytocin is needed to achieve a more definitive answer.