Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 4.48.28 PMWe’ve all witnessed the implosion of relationships on social media. There’s glaring signs, like deleting kissing photos, exchanging subliminal statuses, and secretly updating relationship statuses from “in a relationship” to “single.” Knowing that social media platforms offer ringside access to the rise and declines of relationships makes many couples cautious about what they share publicly.

When I first started dating my live-in boyfriend two years ago, I was always uncertain of what aspects of our relationship were acceptable to share on social media. We’re smartphone and selfie stick owners, so capturing intimate moments, like date nights and hikes, is routine for us. Yet, sharing all of those moments opens our relationship in a way that’s undesirable. I didn’t want to depict a picturesque relationship without turmoil, but I also didn’t want the interior of our relationship scrutinized. Now that we live in the same home and spend our nights together, it’s easier to craft an authentic social media presence that both honors and protects our relationship. Every moment isn’t offered for consumption, even if it’s captured in our phone’s galleries. We’ve become strategic about what we opt to share with our friends and relatives and what should be reserved for us.

Scientific research supports the idea that couples who overshare on social media are attempting to conceal individual insecurities. In 2014, researchers at Albright College published a study that found couples who share their entire relationships on social media are often reliant on their partner to provide self-esteem. The researchers refer to this as relationship-contingent self-esteem (RCSE).

Lead researcher, Gwendolyn Seidman, found that external approval of the relationship on social media is also a factor of RSCE. “There is positive correlation between your self-esteem being contingent on relationships and it being contingent on other things external to you (e.g., others’ approval),” Seidman told The Atlantic.

Yet, what this study fails to capture is how intertwined many couples are, especially if they live together. I don’t chronicle the ins-and-outs of my relationship on social media, but my partner appears often because he’s an integral part of my daily life.

So, in a time of oversharing, how can couples map boundaries around their relationship?

Sound off Clutchettes and gents! How much is too much to share on social media?

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  • [email protected]

    We live in a new age where society is over saturated with social media. Partners should make arrangements on which pictures that they want to show or not based on mutual decisions. One way to establish boundaries is for any couple to think about which pictures that they would want theoretically thousands or millions of people to look at in the Internet. The reason is that if just one pictures is shown in the Internet, that picture could potentially be there for a long time in the Net. It would be too much information in my opinion when it comes down to a couple showing every detail of a couple’s life (or some really personal, intimate information) like SS numbers, extremely personal photos, and things of that nature. Therefore, folks have to be careful and there should the balance in existence when dealing with such matters. Also, there is the option of not using any social media whatsoever, which people have the right to do.

  • paintgurl40

    I don’t post anything about my marriage or husband on social media. My status says I’m married and that’s about it. It’s nobody’s business. I follow a natural hair blogger on yt and fb. One night she posted a picture of her and the husband in a restaurant and her husband was on the phone. Some idiot had the nerve to accuse the girl’s husband of talking to his side chick when he was actually talking to the babysitter. Keep your love life private and to yourself.

    • [email protected]


      Keep your love life private and to yourself is great advice.