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Over the weekend, Amber Rose schooled Tyrese and Rev. Run on the old adage, “No means no.”

On their new late night talk show It’s Not You, It’s Men, the so-called relationship experts attempted to shame women who dress provocatively and blame them for the negative attention and interactions they encounter.

Tyrese, who regularly doles out questionable advice on social media to his fans, likened women who dress sexy to men dressed for a basketball game, telling Rose, “If you see a basketball player and he’s known as a basketball player, when you see him you’ll say, ‘Yo, let’s play ball.'”

Umm…somehow I don’t think that’s how it works when folks meet LeBron James or Kobe Bryant or any other guy in a pair of basketball shorts. But in Tyrese’s mind, if you see a woman dressed in a sexy outfit, men should automatically think she’s okay with being groped, because she’s sending out a certain kind of “energy,” as he put it.

Rev. Run agreed with Tyrese, telling Rose that many people believe women should “dress how they want to be addressed.”

Of course, Muva wasn’t having it and she broke it all the way down for the dudes in the cheap seats.

“If I’m laying down with a man—butt-naked—and his condom is on, and I say, ‘You know what? No. I don’t want to do this. I changed my mind,’ that means no. That means f–king no. That’s it,” Rose said. “It doesn’t matter how far I take it or what I have on. No means no.”

Rose continued: “If I want to wear a short skirt or a tank top, and I’m at the club with my friends and I feel sexy, I’m not DTF. I’m not even looking at you. I didn’t come here to have sex,” she explained. “I came out here with my girls and I just feel pretty.”

While Rose’s words seem like common sense, far too many men (and sadly, women too), don’t seem to have a firm grasp on the idea of consent and the fact that people have the right to change their minds about sex during ANY part of the process.

During a discussion about the It’s Not You, It’s Men episode, a Facebook friend shared a screenshot of one man basically admitting to raping three women who dared to change their minds about having sex with him.

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In the troubling conversation, the man proudly explained he “had three women do some stupid shit like that…and I took it from all of them.” The super sad part? Apparently one of the women spoke out about her assault, but the man said she “got mad no one believed her.”

Teaching men to respect a woman’s boundaries, body, and prerogative is imperative to ending assault, but from the conversations happening across social media we have a lot of work to do before men learn that how a woman dresses does not dictate the level of respect she receives.

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  • FragranceObsessed

    I remember being on a first date with a dude…I was dressed according to the trend of that time (the 90’s), cut off jeans, a bodycon long sleeve top, loafers, leather jacket. Not trying to be sexy but wanted to be cute for my date. I’m curvy, it’s in my genes. No matter what I wear, it just is what it is, unless I wear a potato sack (nope!). So dude and I were eating and he looks at me and says “you use your body to get what you want, huh?” I thought, what! Date was pretty much over after that. I had a coworker give me an univited pat on my butt before. Ever since puberty the assumption has been that because I have a perky bum or full hips that I must be loose and when i didnt deliver i was considered a tease. It’s humiliating, it’s degrading and depressing. I’m blessed to be married to a man who loves me for me now but dating for me as a younger woman was hard and sad. I get where Amber is coming from. I’m a bit older than she is now so I tend to dress more modestly but no means no no matter what a woman has on.

  • Mahogany

    I agree with miss Rose 🌹 that ‘no means no’. On the other hand, I had a problem with her talking about being an independent woman and then saying that women should use their sex appeal to seduce men to get money by any means necessary. That’s backward feminism. Amber, although a beautiful woman, is a walking contradiction. It’s hard for me to take her seriously.

    Don’t be a bad b****, be a good woman. Period.

    • FragranceObsessed

      Yes. I agree with you on that. No does mean no but her philosophy about getting money is wrong in my opinion as well. It doesn’t help or support her whole no means no position.

    • binks

      That is true, she does send out mix messages so it is hard to figure out what positions she stands for overall. Even though Amber Rose might not be the “ideal” messenger I am glad she check these fools and broke down a simple concept.

  • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

    It is right to say that no means no. The lie spewed by sexists today is that a woman with less revealing clothing or a woman with no clothing ought to be disrespected, called out of her name, and be maligned of her character. The truth is that whether a black woman (or any woman in general) wears clothing in a conservative fashion or wears clothing in a less revealing fashion, her dignity must be respected. There are plenty of black women wearing less than revealing clothing who want to celebrate their lives. That doesn’t mean that they are sexually promiscuous or they lack personal integrity. A woman’s humanity is always valuable and respecting women is about respecting her own choices not dictating to her how she should act in violation of her own human autonomy. We desire freedom not an authoritarian society where people violate women’s personal spaces because of her clothing attire. I don’t agree with Amber Rose on every issue, but she is 100 percent right in saying that No mean No period. She is right in telling both men in the video that a woman has the right to change her mind and not have sex if she doesn’t want to engage in sexual intercourse. It is very important to respect each other as human beings. Relationships grow by being honest and confronting injustices wherever they exist.

  • binks

    It is a damn shame that we still have to teach supposedly grown men the concept of NO, the fact that you are not entitled to a woman’s body, and treating people with common decency despite the way they dress. I swear patriarchy, misogyny and sexism is in full force. Furthermore, dressing, feeling and being sexy does NOT automatically mean “I want to have sex”. These childish adult men are really telling on themselves. And Rev Run sounds dumb, because that is a slippery slope. I love the fact that he and many guys like him wants to police women on their attire but as soon as the conversations turns to Black men need to stop dressing like “thugs/wearing saggy pants, etc.” they are quick to call foul….side eye. I guess what is good for the goose is not good for the gander.

    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      It is a disgrace that some grown males can’t understand commonsense. You’re right.

  • TastyTaco

    And if you lay butt naked with a man, in his house/his bed, then get dressed and leave if you don’t want to give it up. Don’t leave him with an advantage. Now if it’s your place, you could cartwheel naked if you want, if he’s upset, show him the door.