I recently watched The Back-Up Plan, starring Jennifer Lopez for the first time. After a self-imposed deadline to find “The One” passed, Lopez’s character put her back-up plan  to have a child into action. She was willing and ready to raise the child alone because it was what she really wanted.

Statistics are scarce, but there are an increasing number of single women conceiving and adopting children alone. Called “Choice Moms,” these women, mostly in their 30s and 40s, have decided to become mothers through conception or adoption with or without a partner. In a 2009 CNN.com article, Mikki Morrissette, founder of ChoiceMoms.org said there were about 50,000 Choice Moms beginning families. Given their contemporary approach towards motherhood, I wondered if after giving birth would they consider their lives complete or just beginning.

There’s a scene in the television adaptation of Gloria Naylor’s The Women of Brewster Place between Oprah Winfrey’s character, Mattie, and Miss Eva, an elderly widow whom she lived with, with her young son, Basil. Miss Eva would badger her about her life, and  romantic relationships especially, even asking, “When’s the last time you had somebody in your bed?” Mattie replied, “Basil sleeps in my bed every night.”

I cringe at that scene because Winfrey’s fictitious character, more than 20-years-old, is the mirror image of so many women today. They are unconsciously are using their children to fill voids, leaving them unfulfilled and unhappy. (Mattie, though the story’s matriarch and nurturer, remained alone throughout the movie, by the way. She was chastised for it by several characters.)

Though having a family is beyond important to me, I’m terrified of becoming a victim of what I think Mattie had: the ‘Just Me and My Baby’ syndrome. This occurs when the woman has a child and officially checks out on her own life. Should she get the opportunity to gain anything else of value that could be added to her or her child’s life, she passes it up out of fear, complacency or the goal to be Super-Mom.  She thinks, “It’s just me and my baby (against the world).”

I pose this question, which might only be answered with time and experience: Am I wrong, or selfish even, for wanting the entire package—a mate and a full life, or am I just an ignorant, childless woman who has not yet experienced the matchless joys of motherhood? Will that be enough?

A friend summed up my thoughts succinctly, saying, “I don’t want my kids to be my life. They’re gonna leave me in 18 years … then what?” When my nest is empty or even when the children are away at a summer camp or visiting friends, will I ask myself, “Who are you again?” Attempting to live your best life can easily become lost among children’s education, extracurricular activities and everyday motions. True living includes not only being a good parent, but nurturing romantic relationships and friendships, social involvement, spirituality, career development, etc.

Most mothers peg their biggest accomplishment as having children, but it doesn’t have to be their only accomplishment. We should be encouraged to begin or continue to pursue personal interests and passions, as well as family interests after children are born. That is not selfish, but attempting to be a whole person, which affects the whole family.

Conversely, there’s nothing wrong with getting off the train at the baby stop. If a woman’s only desire is to bear children and raise a family, with or without a man, there’s no rule book that says she can’t. My personal hope whenever and however I begin my family is that I experience joy and satisfaction in my life, and ride it until the wheels fall off. That joy could come from seeing my child’s smile when he or she wakes me up for breakfast, carving out time for a Girls Night Out or completing a volunteer project.

I hope that’s not asking too much.

From Uptown Magzine — When Spike Lee released Jungle Fever in August 1990, in just a couple of hours, he single-handedly addressed an issue that had been raising eyebrows for years: interracial dating.

Even though in the early ’90s, interracial couples represented only 1.9 percent of the population, according to U.S. Census Bureau, there seemed to be a fascination, and for some, a disgust over interracial dating, specifically between African-American men and white women. Set in New York City, Flipper (Wesley Snipes), a married architect began an affair with his assistant, Angie Tucci (Annabella Sciorra), an Italian-American.

The affair seemed to stem from both characters’ deep curiosity about each other’s race, more so than mere physical attraction, from the contrast in their skin colors–his dark complexion to her pale, “lily-white” skin to their upbringings, which were worlds apart. After disclosing his secret affair to his best friend, Flipper confessed, “I have to admit I’ve always been curious about Caucasian women.” The friend declared that he had “the fever, Jungle Fever,” described as an attraction between two different races.

Then there’s the memorable scene where Flipper is scolded by a waitress played by Queen Latifah when she refuses to serve the couple while out on a date. There was outrage over an African-American man leaving his black wife for an Italian woman onscreen because movie-goers saw it happening in real life, but the story was deeper than just black and white.

(Continue Reading @ Uptown….)

How Often You Need a Pap Smear

Ladies, a Pap smear is a necessary evil, but you’ll be glad to know you no longer have to have them as frequently as before. The American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) introduced new Pap smear guidelines last year, suggesting that women, regardless of sexual activity, should begin getting Pap smears at age 21 every two years, instead of annually. If you’re over age 30 and have had three consecutive normal Pap smears, you may have them every three years.

We aren’t off the hook though. Pap smears may not happen as often, but we still have to visit the exam room for an Annual Well Woman Exam. It’s a common mistake to confuse this exam with the Pap smear. “A Pap smear is a screening test for cervical cancer,” says Titilola Fadahunsi, MD, Obstetrics and Genecology resident physician in Memphis, Tennessee. “A lot of women think if there’s a speculum inside of them, they’re getting a Pap smear, but it’s not true.” An annual exam should include a breast exam, a pelvic exam, testing for STDs and other screenings. Use that time with your physician to ask questions and express health concerns.

If You Have Uterine Fibroids

Women, but especially African-American, women are plagued with fibroids, non-cancerous growths that grow in the uterus or along in the uterine wall. African-American women are three times as likely to have uterine fibroids as other women, according to WomensHealth.gov. Also, family history and age increase prevalence. While many women have several fibroids that go unnoticed, others experience extreme pain, heavy bleeding during the menstrual cycle, anemia and sometimes, but rarely, infertility. If your period is irregular or more painful than usual, consult with your physician to schedule an exam or ultrasound and seek treatment.

When You Ovulate

Whether you are avoiding pregnancy like the plague or you’ve gotten the “baby bug,” knowing your likeliest time to become pregnant is always good to know. “It’s gets to be a concern when you are trying to conceive,” Fadanhunsi says. “If you’re sexually active, you should be on birthday. If you’re not on birth control, I strongly recommend you do so.”

Most women generally ovulate  between Day 11 – Day 21 of their cycle, counting from the first day of the last menstrual cycle, according to the American Pregnancy Association. Day 1 of your cycle is the first day your menstrual flow begins, and every woman’s cycle length varies from 28 to 32 days. Know the symptoms of ovulation, which are usually heightened body heat, a discharge and increased libido. If you need to keep track of your ovulation period, there’s an app for that! Try P & G Always ® Me Period and Ovulation Tracker for your iPhone or iPad, or an online resource, MyMonthlyCycles.com.

The Right Birth Control Method for You

The most recent National Survey of Family Growth by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention indicates that roughly 44 percent of women did not use a contraceptive before an unintended pregnancy because they didn’t think they could become pregnant. Sexually active women should not acquire STDs or unintended pregnancies because they don’t know the vast options in contraceptives.

However, statistics also say that oral contraception leads in the most popular birth control form with usage by 28 percent of women ages 15-44 and condoms following behind at only 16 percent. The Pill may be popular, but it may not be for you if you can’t remember to take it daily.

“If you use birth control (oral contraceptives) the way it’s supposed to be used, it’s pretty effective, but a lot of women don’t,” says Fadanhunsi. “The better contraceptive depends on the person.”

Don’t use condoms because you’re allergic to latex? Consider lambskin or the female condom, the NuvaRing or if you need more long-term birth control, try an IUD like Mirena. Emergency contraceptive options, such as Plan B One-Step, are available at health centers and drug stores, but consult with your physician first before taking them.

Check out more contraceptive options at PlannedParenthood.com.

I stared at the screen in disbelief, rubbed my eyes and read the line again. Ghetto booty? I assumed that “narrow segment of society” was code for black folks. I replied, asking what a “ghetto booty” was. Did the women who came in for consultations use that term? He replied that no explanation was needed and went on to explain that “Hip-Hop culture” was to blame, as many of them used the terminology often. To further prove his point, he sent a link to the Google search page for “ghetto booty.” There, on my screen were countless images of women, mostly African-American, scantily-clad and bent over in the infamous and familiar “ass shot.” I was speechless.

Damn you, Sir Mix-a-lot.

I was offended, and I’d had enough. I ended contact with him and decided not to use him as an identified source. In an instant, what was supposed to be a story about the growing trend in illegal butt implants, turned into a probing session on society’s perception of Black women.

I continued to wrestle with my reaction to the surgeon’s response, but in the meantime, I asked a few friends to give me their definitions of a “ghetto booty.”

“It’s big and out of control. No structure, definitely not toned and (it) jiggles.”

“That would be one that is not properly covered….when it should be because it is not attractive.”

“It’s big but not in a cute way…It jiggles when the person walks.”

“One of my marriage requirements.”

My frustration with the surgeon was two-fold. Considering friends’ and my own ideas of the slang term, plus the Google search page images, the proof was in the pudding. The truth hurts, but even more, I was annoyed because a stereotype of black women was pointed out so clearly by a man of another race, as if he was an authority on our bodies. We’re now living in a culture in which women have reduced their self-worth to the size of their derrieres—so much that the obsession has spilled over into other races and cultures (Booty Pop, anyone?). What message are we sending to society about us? Are we to be respected and productive individuals who contribute to society or a just T & A, fit to be lusted after on magazine pages, computer screens and hip-hop videos?

In 2009, black men lamented when KING, a premier urban men’s magazine known for its bootylicious cover models, such as Stacey Dash and Rosa Acosta, folded. Within a few months, the publication made a comeback as The Women of King, serving up bigger bottoms, thus creating a bigger following with a circulation of 255,000, according to Gaebler.com. If you can’t get to a newsstand, just log on to Twitter and check out the avatars belonging to half-naked “aspiring models.” Yes, booty is big business.

“I realize that there has been a sort of fascination with the Black woman’s body for years,” Bledman says. “As we look at the media now, it often seems that Black women are presented as hypersexualized or seen as nothing more than objects.  I think this portrayal can be very dehumanizing and really makes it difficult to feel empowered and validated.”

But there’s so much more to us than our “assets.” According to Catalyst.org’s 2010 African-American Women in the United States report, in 2007-2008, 7.5 percent of Black women obtained a Masters degree and 64 percent held women of color board directorships. Additionally, there are projections for women’s participation in the workforce to increase from the current 6.1 percent to 6.4 percent by 2018.

“If we don’t balance these images with more positive ones, I can’t imagine that, at times, the Black woman’s body is seen as nothing more than a body and not a human being,” Bledman says.

So, this isn’t about ass envy or tearing down the booty empire for all parties involved. The fact is, we will always be celebrated for our curvaceous bodies, and rightly so, but it’s time to re-craft and control the message we’re sending to society, ourselves and most of all, our young girls. The whole is equal to the sum of its parts.

During  #NaturalHair Day, I viewed countless tweets and pictures of women celebrating themselves and their hair. It was beautiful, but after a while, I became annoyed. I couldn’t decide if the trending topic was a celebration or a finger-pointing party, though I hoped for the former. I understood when a fellow writer tweeted, “I can’t participate with the (natural hair) hashtag like I deserve to be on a pedestal just because I’m a natural. I still think it’s very divisive.”

The trending topic reminded me of a Twitter debate I participated in just days earlier about straightening natural hair. Some women are saying it’s the number one “don’t” per a follower’s Twitter rant:

“I’m having a very annoying conversation with a woman who has natural hair. It turns out that I’m not ‘helping out’ the natural hair lifestyle by occasionally blowing out my SUPER thick hair and straightening it. Here’s what she said: ‘If you are going to wear your hair natural that means no blow drying or straightening it to look straight.’”

Give me a break.

Before you give me the side-eye, I, too, am transitioning. I have been relaxer-free for just over a year now. It started as a challenge of how long I could go without a relaxer. I didn’t do it so much for self-discovery or to see how dependent I am on my hair. Thankfully, I’ve never suffered from thin hair, breakage or chemical damage. I did it to see what my hair looks like without a relaxer. And get this: I straighten it…often! *gasp*

I will not be told what to do with my hair by anyone.

After nearly 17 years of relaxing my hair, I’ve almost completely grown out my relaxer, and it took patience and discipline. After accomplishing that, which I consider to be a milestone, I will not have anyone tell me that I have to wear my hair in its natural state. My hair, my decision.

I often hear the phrase, “It’s just hair” thrown around in discussions to promote various schools of thought regarding hair. If it’s, indeed, “just hair,” why shouldn’t I have the freedom to do with it whatever I choose—be it to relax, coil or weave it?

Yes, it’s true that hair is a MAJOR issue for African-American women. To quote interior designer Shelia Bridges, who was featured in Chris Rock’s controversial documentary, Good Hair, “The reason hair is so important is because our self-esteem is wrapped up in it.” If this is so—if hair is such a big part of us, is it really appropriate to treat our hair choices and textures as members-only clubs?

I am in no way suggesting that we shouldn’t celebrate our hair and its versatility. More so, I’m suggesting that no other person has the right to dictate what we do with our own hair, natural or otherwise. The beauty about being a woman is we have an array of options, and that is what we should embrace.

My personal goal is to grow longer hair. Eventually, I’ll wear it “out” or in twist-outs, but when I choose. All of the parts of our bodies, even the hair that grows from our heads should cause us to feel loved, not guilty or judged.

So to the women, like my dear friend, who can rock a ‘fro and twist-out like no other, the women who flat irons her natural hair every two weeks, the ones who let the relaxer sit until it begins to fizzle on her scalp, and the ones who think the longer the Remy, the better, only you know makes you shine. Whether I agree with your methods or not, it’s your hair, not mine. If what we’re really practicing and advocating for is freedom from whatever is entrapping us through our hair, let’s act as such. Live and let live.

It’s all fun and games until you click on a link, only to see a corpse lying on the pavement.

Last night my Twitter timeline lit up with tweets about the death of Messy Mya, 22-year-old New Orleans Youtube sensation and bounce music artist. He was shot around 8 p.m., according to reports, while leaving his girlfriend’s baby shower. Though news outlets are reporting his death, New Orleans news sources have not yet released his government name.

Known for his humorous antics, Messy Mya, an openly bi-sexual man, is most known for his “Messy Cam” and “bookin,’” or ridiculing random people in the New Orleans area, including outing other bounce music artists, drag queens and other members of the LGBT community. To date, his Youtube channel has nearly 200,000 views, and his fan base was growing by the minute.

To add insult to injury, an onlooker posted a picture of his body on Twitter. Followers, and those not familiar with Mya alike, were outraged. Aside from addressing the blatant disrespect for Messy Mya and his family and friends, his death brings several issues in social media to light:

Privacy Issues
How would you feel if your picture was circulated on a social media site without your permission? Morality aside, is it legal to post pictures of others, in this case, the deceased, on social media sites? Let’s examine a couple of the most popular image-sharing applications:

Twitpic notes the following security precautions on its website:

“If you submit such information for display in public areas, Twitpic cannot prevent it from being used in a manner that violates the law, your personal privacy or your safety. By submitting such information for display in public areas, you assume the risks and sole liability arising as a result of such information being displayed.”

-via Twitpic.com

Yfrog.com categorizes image-sharing “abuse” as posing pornographic files, those that show illegal activity in the United States, or infringe on the copyrights of others or violate privacy. The terms and agreement also notes the following:

“All information provided by the user is strictly confidential. However, ImageShack reserves the right to release user information if user has violated the ImageShack Terms of Service, if the user has committed unlawful acts, if the information is subpoenaed, or if ImageShack deems it necessary or appropriate.”

However, ImageShack also says that users use the application at their own risk. In short, yes, circulating photos is legal, but at a cost. When we press the “Tweet” or “Submit” button, we take full responsibility for the photographs we send, with the right for our files to be used in a court of law. Consider that the next time you want to get a few laughs.

-via Yfrog.com

Public Relations
Without fail, Twitter proves to be the best publicity agent. Messy Mya was the #1 trending topic on Twitter within an hour of his death, and continued to trend until mid-afternoon today, thanks to fans, as well as those inquiring about who he was. At that moment, he was the national star he claimed he would be in his videos, despite some truths and rumors circulating about his cause of death. Around 3 p.m. (EST) today, a friend tweeted that the persons responsible for death were in custody, though no official statement from authorities has been released.

Cyberbullying
In light of the recent suicides due to cyberbullying, this issue must be addressed. As of late, social media is being used to combat the abuse through online petitions, but social media is also a primary cause of it. Though the cause of death has not been confirmed, many speculate that someone who was the butt of Messy Mya’s “bookin’” sought out revenge, resulting in his death. If rumors are true, how do cyberstalking and defense fit into this picture?

According to StopCyberbullying.org, cyberbullying only occurs when children are involved on both sides via the Internet and/or interactive and digital technologies, including mobile phones. It’s officially cyberstalking when adults over the age of 18 become involved. These unfortunate events may possibly prove that there’s a fine line between poking fun and defense gone too far.

There are many questions to be answered about the role social media sites play in unfortunate events. We, as users, must make a conscious effort to police ourselves, more so than others.

In that time, I’ve heard so many things. Either she’s a homewrecking, man-stealing hypocrite (How dare she stand there, big and pregnant, smiling after she’s caused another woman so much pain?) or just a woman in love, living life. (Swizz and his wife, Mashonda, were already on the outs, and you lose what wasn’t yours already, right?)

Fast-forward to her performance at the recent Essence Music Festival. She, the headliner for Saturday night’s concert, had a hard row to pull. She followed a tough act – Gladys Knight, who, though I missed her, was much too awesome to perform before Keys according to others. She took the stage and it was … weird. There was an undeniable silence in the crowd that I didn’t expect. I looked behind me to see a woman sitting two rows back among empty seats with her arms tightly folded. With a mean side-eye, she mouthed two words: man stealer. Wow.

Alicia put on a decent show, but something was missing in the atmosphere. The audience was lukewarm at best. During her performance, I checked Twitter. It was apparent that some people at the festival still weren’t happy about Keys’s indiscretions.

“Alicia Keys is almost working as hard as Breezy for redemption. Essence chicks aren’t fans of infidelity … no shade.”

“Hearing Alicia sing ‘Karma’ is … interesting.”

So that was the uncomfortable feeling I was getting. Did Keys feel it, too? Swizz Beats was officially divorced as of May. The two are clearly happy, and they plan to marry soon, according to entertainment reports. Even so, some of Keys’s most devoted fans have a serious problem with her publicized relationship with then-married Swizzy. My question is this: When is Keys going to address the issue of dating a married man, or should she at all?

The situation seems to mirror the Tiger Woods fiasco. All Woods owes us is a great game of golf, not a detailed, worldwide apology about something that directly affects his wife. Do celebrities’ indiscretions in their personal lives affect their business lives to the point where they owe their fans explanations or apologies? Will those two lines always cross for certain folks?

Let’s look back at Keys. Should she be expected to give her fans the lowdown on her relationship with Swizz Beatz (because it’s clearly complicated) or is she only required to make good music?

Unfortunately for celebrities, public relations is the name of the game these days, and it’s not hard to do. (Celebrities are using Twitter as a free publicity agent. Check out celebritytweets.com.) It’s clear that Keys has adopted the don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy, and her career might be affected because of it.

I’m neutral on the issue, but for sure her involvement with a married man doesn’t support her platform on women’s empowerment. She recently launched a website, iamasuperwoman.com, where she writes on the homepage:

“Welcome to a powerful, passionate, radiant, exciting, addictive, compassionate, and loving virtual world called IAAS, which stands for I Am a Super Woman! For many of us, that is not just the title of a song but a mantra. My friends and I at AK Worldwide are launching a new venture and would like you to join us. We’re creating a fresh new source for positive and inspiring news, a destination which will empower and link female voices and unleash the super woman in us all.”

Does her behavior support her platform and the positive image she aspires for women? Really, who’s to blame here? Fallen celebrities or society for placing talented individuals on sky-high pedestals?

Put yourself in Alicia’s position. Would you hide out until you give birth then release a statement regarding your relationship, or keep your personal affairs just that — personal? She seems to have taken the latter approach but at what cost?

While men and women alike tuned in weekly to give the TLC member the side-eye for outlandish demands, many women were secretly looking in the mirror having to admit that their own lists were a tad far-fetched. Some women’s lists are short stories, while others are epic fairytales. In CNN relationship columnist, Audrey Irvine’s “Ladies and ‘Perfect Man’ Lists,” she compared making lists in dating to “creating a recipe for a man as if you are making a cake.” She was dead on.

In several in-person, Facebook and Twitter discussions, I found that men have lists, too (they just may not be written down in pretty journals). If this is true, what are the major differences between what women and men want, if any? Do women expect too much, or are men just as guilty? Are these lists getting us ahead or holding us back?

What She Says:

I do think that most women want too much—take Chilli’s list as an example. You should definitely have standards, but don’t be superficial or unrealistic with your desires. A lot of women are looking for a man with a six-pack and lots of money, when they are broke with bad credit and out of shape. You attract what you are. – Katelyn, Non-Profit Professional, 30

Women have higher standards for they want in men in the short-term, while men have high standards for what they want in women in the long-term! Men will play the field, then find that one woman to marry. They stick to their guns more. Women sometimes change because we feel if we haven’t met the right guy by a certain age, our standards are too high, and we should change. Guys will seek out their mates for years before settling down. – Monica, Ph.D. Student, 28

I have not noticed a double standard in relationship requirements and lists. Sometimes men are confused about what they want, or they have unreasonable standards. Sometimes women are the same way. – Claudia, Engineer, 29

What He Says:

Damn skippy, we have a list: “Look For” and “Avoid”. Every guy is different. We have wants, needs, pet peeves and code reds, too. It also depends on your social standing: “beggars can’t be too choosy” versus “more fish in the sea”. – Travis, Graphic Artist, 31

Here’s the difference between men and women: The superficial things we look for in women for sex are the same things women look for in men as boyfriends and husbands. Men are just as picky as women when it comes to real relationships. We don’t all have lists, but we have to answer the question: Can I bring her home to my mama? – Cory, Architect, 28

Men and women want too much from each other. We no longer look for potential; instead we demand potential to be realized immediately. It’s almost as if women expect men to show up in a new car, fully mature, with swollen bank accounts and Olympic bodies. As men we’re just as bad, waiting for a Halle Berry/Beyonce hybrid to profess their love. The truth is the older we get or the more our environments change, the more our preferences and standards change. - Justin, Physical Therapist, 27

Perhaps a mile-long list isn’t needed to find and maintain a healthy relationship. Though the approaches may be different, both sexes ultimately seek the same results: love, trust and room to grow. So much for having that prized list framed and matted to hang over the fireplace. Even Chilli saw that her list was unreasonable by end of the show’s season. Should you know what you, as an individual, need and want from your partner? Of course, but what’s more important than the criteria on paper is the conversation between women and men about what are real and unrealistic expectations. There’s clearly a lot to talk about.

A list is made not only to check things off, but to analyze, edit and reflect on when necessary. If you must keep one, rather than the law of the land, think of your list as your favorite childhood storybook: a mix of fantasy, fiction and reality. Will yours make for a happy ending?

I hated high school.

I wasn’t very popular in high school.

Who cares what everyone is doing with their lives?

Reunions are overrated anyway.

My life is not what I planned it to be.

You get the idea.

For those reasons alone, it might seem logical to forego the event, but every Clutchette is fabulous in her own right, so why show everyone else? Here are some valid reasons why you should register for that reunion immediately.

* Network with classmates for employment and community service opportunities. You never know who can help you find employment or reach the next level in your career. According to Quintessential Careers (www.quintcareers.com), 48 percent of workers obtain their jobs through word of mouth. Reunions are definitely a reason to party, but don’t miss a bigger opportunity. Pack your clutch with lip gloss and a few business cards, too!

* Face to face interaction is so much better. Between Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and varioius IM sites, you can stay connected to everyone 24 hours a day. If you’re thinking attending your reunion is pointless because you’ve seen everyone on the Internet anyway, consider this: How many times have you seen someone on your “friends” list in public, but both of you still kept it moving? It’s possible that the Age of the Internet discourages verbal interaction. Master the art of small talk and some conversation going.

(Shallow point: Atleast in person, you can see if your ex-boyfriend really looks like his hot profile pic!)

* Show your high school sweetheart that he’s not irreplaceable. Being in love has proven to have positive effects on sweethearts—physically and emotionally. Show your love glow and significant other off to him and everyone else, for that matter. If you’re flying solo, no need to worry. Everyone won’t have a date, so embrace being single and start to mingle.

* Reconnect with old friends. In high school, you and your clique were inseparable. Somewhere between graduating and life happening, you all lost touch. Use this as an opportunity to reconnect, mend severed relationships and reminisce about the good times.

* Facebook and Twitter have peaked your interest in a classmate you overlooked in high school. Let’s face it, your class reunion may be the only time you will see some people who have been in hiding for years. If you only see your high school crush on your Facebook and Twitter pages, take advantage of this time. Approach your cutie and see if a new romance can blossom.

Jennifer Stachowski, owner of a class reunion planning company, J2 Class Reunions in Memphis, Tennessee has seen it all too many times.

“It happens more often than not,” she says. “When people go back to their reunions, they tend to remember things differently and actually make new friends with people they didn’t hang out with in high school.”

* Show how much you’ve changed (for the better) No, this doesn’t mean it’s time to show how you’ve stepped up your shoe game. Over ten years, you may have worked on other areas of your life that don’t cater to the physical appearance. Were you labeled as the ‘Girl with the Bad Attitude’ or ‘The Loner’? It’s time to put on a dazzling smile and give your old classmates a taste of the new you.

Don’t procrastinate, Clutchettes! If this is your year for a reunion, get on it. If you’ve missed your reunion, there’s always the 15 or 20-year event. Make it a fab decade and showcase yourself.

Slim’s first single, “So Fly” featuring Yung Joc and Shawty Lo is the first single from his debut album, Love’s Crazy which dropped November 18. “So Fly” peaked in the top ten of Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip Hop Songs. His latest single, “Good Lovin” has already become the number one most added single on Billboard charts.

That’s not bad for a guy who once considered giving up on music all together. After the rumors about 112’s breakup in 2005, the members took a break to work on individual projects.

(Note: 112 fans can rest easy. Slim confirms that 112 is still together. “That will never change. Those are my brothers.”)

While sitting on the beach in Sydney, Australia, Slim decided to give music another try.

“If God gives you a gift and you don’t use it, it’s like a burning and I didn’t want to be that tortured soul.”

This time around he had musical ventures in mind other than just singing. “I had this big dream to elevate my career by starting a label. I can reach back into my community to find people with the same passion (as I do).” Identified as a front man for a singing group, Slim was told by many that owning a record label was unattainable.

Despite the naysayers, Slim inked a distribution deal with Asylum Records, home to rap artists Bun B, Jim Jones and Scarface, to launch M3 Records independently. Consequently, he decided to become a solo artist to build his brand up and he’s loving every minute of it.

Love’s Crazy is a reflection of Slim’s positive outlook on love and life, featuring producers and artists, such as Ryan Leslie and fellow ATLien, Big Boi of Outkast (he’s featured on the title track). “I wanted to establish my identity. At the end of the day, I want the talent to speak for itself.”

There’s a positive spin to everything, according to Slim, and the album reflects that. Ballads like “More” and “Bedtime Stories” are reminiscent of 112, while “Heels” and “She Got That” are upbeat tracks with a street edge.

Since its release, Slim has received nothing but stellar reviews from fans, industry critics and colleagues alike. Now he’s entering “Phase II” of his career, promoting the album, awaiting the release of his collaboration with Eightball of Eightball & MJG titled Fatboy & Slim: The Movie and planning for a possible sophomore album. Still, he wears the hat as the boss of M3 Records. He’s grooming upcoming artists Deezo, a young rap artist from Detroit and a hip-hop group, Ivy League to be released soon.

 ”If you’re going to go, go hard.”

For more information on Slim please visit www.myspace.com/slimof112.