I know it’s tough. Our whole lives we’ve heard that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and while I agree to an extent–because I can almost guarantee there are many other ways, and I’m not talking sexual ways either–it can be just as dangerous to cook for a man too soon as it would be to take off your clothes too soon. Unless, of course,  you want simple, meaningless sex, but I am not ok with meaningless meals.

There is something special about a woman who knows how to cook and also enjoys preparing food. It’s impressive and it can absolutely bring people closer together, especially considering some women feel cooking for others is degrading or old school. So the girl who loves to cook does stand out as an all-star in the eyes of many men, but some women need to be more strategic about how and when all of this pot slinging and high heels in the kitchen is happening.  Now a few probably wont agree or like what is being said, and that’s understandable because it’s not easy being deprogrammed, but to the woman who wants to feel appreciated for the long term and not be left alone sitting on her kitchen floor gazing at her grocery receipt wondering why bacon-wrapped steak, roasted baby red potatoes, sautéed spinach and homemade cheesecake didn’t keep him around–listen up.

In this rough, tumultuous dating game there are a lot of factors, and sad to say, and there has to be a little strategy and game playing that takes place.  Men usually know what a woman is looking for, and as soon as they feel she is trying to get him “hog-tied” and to the altar by dangling a hot plate in front of his face, he will eat the food, take the cute Tupperware she packed him for lunch the next day and be out the door and on to his next date. And who is that date?  Not you. It’s the girl who will meet him for a drink, order food for herself and send him home wanting more. Why? It’s simple, she doesn’t need him and that drives him crazy because he sees her as a challenge.

Now, many men think they are hot commodities, and this idea is bolstered by news reports, movies, articles and celebrities deeming themselves as relationships experts. Some men nowadays seem to think that they are completely irresistible to every single woman who catches a whiff of their Axe body spray (and don’t even start on the ones who feel having a degree and a job is like holding one of the coveted Willy Wonka golden tickets), and when you’re too eager to cook for a man, especially a rotten man who feels entitled to your delicious culinary skills, it’s a recipe for disaster.

He smells it, he knows it and he thinks he has you caught up in his web and before you know it you’re picking up his dry cleaning and walking his dog. But don’t let him get you tangled up, show him that you’re smarter than that, and being smarter doesn’t mean being evil and abrasive or letting him starve, it just means that you’re not trying to overcompensate or win him over with your skills so early on in the relationship.

Let him work for it and after a few months you can show him that when you cook for someone it’s from a serious place of love, and more importantly, a love for yourself because you think your cooking is delectable and spiritual and only lucky people get to taste it. But before then?  Eating out, letting him cook, eating simply prepared foods or ordering in will suffice.  By the time you start making beautiful treats he will be so grateful that it will never go unnoticed, because there was a sequence of events that took place before you graced him with all your talents.

Once you begin doing things a certain way in the beginning of a relationship it is often times expected and usually taken for granted, which can be hurtful and frustrating. For example, if I spend the day cooking a nice meal, the least my honey can do is wash dishes or buy a nice bottle of wine, and lets face it, preparing grandiose feasts on the regular can quickly lose its novelty and cause you to feel burned out and pissed off when you aren’t getting what you want and nobody wants an ungrateful, expectant man…nobody.

While there isn’t a script or official rulebook for dating, everyone will have their own thoughts or opinions, but for someone like me who stays up late at night reading food magazines and daydreaming about the new knife I can’t wait to try out, making a meal on the first date is way too personal in my cookbook.

I get that question a lot, followed by the reasons people create on their own as to why I don’t have cable. “You poor thing, are you not making enough money?” or “do you think you’re too good to watch TV?” Both of these sentiments are partially true.

About two years ago I discontinued my cable, partly because it was way too expensive and also because it was extremely distracting. Since I don’t posses much self-control, and giving myself a one hour TV limit never has and probably never will work, I had to go cold turkey.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to different realizations and done a great job at figuring out what’s good and what’s not good for me.  I’ve definitely become more conscious of my body (in a healthy way), and can now truly understand that what I put in my system will ultimately effect the way I look, feel and perform. I’ve also realized and become more conscious of what I allow myself to witness and engage in.  I’m more sensitive about certain things and I’m not ashamed to admit it, and as I watch reality shows at others’ houses (because I do miss TV at times), it shows me just how sensitive I am and reminds me once again that getting my cable cut off was a great decision.

A few nights ago, I found myself sitting on my friends’ couch completely enthralled in a battle between two “models.” It was a face scratching, hair pulling, Prosecco glass slinging good time! Afterward, we sat and discussed it as though these women were relevant or were positive images who would help us propel ourselves to the next level. I felt disgusted with myself and instantly thought about the quote “great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Dammit! I have a small mind because I loved talking about these pretty-faced chicks with demonic tendencies.  But after bingeing on this brawl I felt something else, I felt my anxiety rising and wanted to go confront someone physically. Forget confronting someone physically, I wanted to bust somebody’s head to the white meat, especially the women on the screen and I was completely wrapped up in the petty drama.

I know that many see it as harmless, simple entertainment, but I feel like it’s more than that, I know that media has the power to sway and influence.  It’s not by coincidence that there are a ton of Facebook posts and Twitter feeds in honor of these shows that people treat as real life, is it some type of escape from our own reality?  Is getting your hair and makeup done and slipping into a pair of six inch heels before going in front of the camera to make your man a sandwich the type of reality we need to escape to?  But I get it, we are craving to see brown faces on television and since it looks like we wont be receiving Moesha, A Different World or The Cosby Show remakes anytime soon, it seems as though the reality show cesspool will only continue to grow.  While I’m sure it isn’t all bad, there is absolutely an overabundance of black girl pain.

It doesn’t just stop there, conversations, ideas and thoughts about the plight of the black woman, Facebook, forwarded emails, frivolous gossip, family, significant others and coworkers are all energy inducing entities and while they can provide positive energy, they can also produce negative, toxic energy that can leave us feeling drained.

If you question or compare yourself to others in an unfair, unrealistic way, especially to those on television, then you probably shouldn’t be watching this stuff. No you don’t need to wear red bottoms, a pound of M.A.C and a 50 foot long weave every day.  If you feel down after reading friends’ statuses about how their lives are the flawless epitome of bliss because their man wakes them up every morning with a foot rub and a surprise trip to Turks and Caicos then you probably need to be happy for them and unplug.  If being surrounded by people and in the midst of certain conversations you feel your skin crawling and start to wonder why you remain in the presence of these individuals, then you probably need to start slowly purging these individuals from your life or limit interactions with them.

We can’t underestimate our brains ability to process information. There has to be a direct correlation between what we mentally ingest and how we feel afterwards, so just like we know it’s not smart to go through our lives chugging sugary soda and fat laden foods on a regular basis, we can’t mentally feed ourselves junk on the daily either.

Just like any relationship I hold dear to my heart, if you talk about Howard I might take it personally, it’s hard to explain but it’s one of those situations where only I myself and others who attended the Capstone can talk about it. For example, I can talk about my sister, but you can’t! Howard is no different, but I understand it’s one of those things that people sometimes love to hate, and with our illustrious list of former students and historical events, I don’t blame them. Nobody could ever question how I feel about the school I once called home. I wear my HU tee’s to the gym, I attend different alumni events, I cheer on the football team at the Urban League classic, I even donate money back to the university….wait a second, no I don’t.

How could this be? How could the place that played a major part in nurturing the woman I am today never have seen a check, money order, paypal click, credit card payment or pigeon telegram from me! How dare I throw away the requests I receive in the mail from Howard University before I even take the time to read them?

Thinking back to the time when I was in undergrad working two jobs (one of which included me driving a campus shuttle from midnight to 8am, don’t ask) and still struggling to pay my tuition, I remember thinking, “When I finish, Howard isn’t gonna see one red cent from me, (proceed to imagine me rubbing my hands together while lightening strikes in the background and I belt out an evil “I’m gonna rule the world!!!!” laugh) MWAAAAHHH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAA!”

Even though I’m still paying off student loans, I know that I can afford to give back, so if I’m able to and I love this place so much, then why don’t I? Maybe I don’t see the importance of giving back to my school, or maybe I’m not sure where the money will end up.  I know that I’m not a selfish person, but I do prefer to give money directly to people in need or people on a mission and I do like to know where the money is going. Speaking of missions, I just recently went on a mission trip to South Africa and I set up a donation page to help pay for my trip, if it weren’t for a few generous friends and family members, I would absolutely believe that people don’t like to donate, and part of me still feels that way, which left me wondering, is this the case for everyone?

While I haven’t conducted enough research or case studies to make that conclusion, I still couldn’t just leave it at that, I had to speak to people on the street, in the subway, during dinner and see what they thought about giving back. I focused specifically on giving back to your alma mater and not charities and I also made sure that I questioned all different types of people.  I can say that the majority I spoke to do not give back, and the reasons varied but some of the most popular were, “I gave my school enough money when I was there,” as told to me by Kristin Rosenberg of Brooklyn, to “I wouldn’t give my school money unless I was at a point where I could donate a large sum and regulate where the money was going,” said Lateef Caldwell of Harlem. He wondered, “What’s the point of giving $50, that’s a drop in the bucket to these universities?”

I must say that I understand where both were coming from, but there were also those who said they do give back, whether it be financially or with their time, because people gave back when they were in school, so they felt it was their duty.

So I ask you, do you donate to your beloved alma maters? Or do you give the same excuse I do “I will start a scholarship fund one day soon.”

We all have busy lives, but try to stop for a second and imagine living that life on mute. I went to the post office, grocery shopping, to work and many other places where I had to communicate with people. I relied upon head nods, smiles, sad faces, a notepad and thumbs up/thumbs down gestures to get my point across, you would’ve thought you were watching one of the films from the silent era. It was terrible, it was frustrating and all in all I felt like a baby trying to express my thoughts without words, but it was also fascinating to see how good people were at deciphering what I was trying to tell them without using words. I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty good listener, I’ve always been open to giving advice to friends, family, even strangers who find that I have a trusting face and need to confide, but not being able to speak was a painful reminder that there is always room for personal growth.

In the two days that I couldn’t speak I realized just how bad of a listener I truly was, I realized how much I unnecessarily speak, I realized how much I cut people off and I realized how much I talk out of turn before a person can even get their thought out and it forced me to see how selfish and greedy we can allow our tongues to make us. Selfish because we don’t want to share the floor and greedy because we feel the need to take credit for all of the thoughts that are being uttered. It wasn’t as though I was being rude (not intentionally), but in hindsight it was absolutely obnoxious of me and sometimes I wish others could lose their ability to speak temporarily, just so they could see how much dialogue is wasted, and many times it’s wasted on being negative about irrelevant situations and others. In those two days that I couldn’t speak it was as though someone was revealing to me a new way of living my life, which is not always easy, active listening is something that takes practice and if you want to be really good at it then it takes practice as well as discipline. Often times we “listen” to people, but during the process we are coming up with our own assumptions, scenarios and conclusions, which isn’t really pure, unadulterated message receiving at all, it’s really just another way to boost our own egos and say to ourselves “man I’m good, I need my own talk show or advice column,” and when it comes to loved ones and those closest to us, we really don’t listen because we feel we already know what they are saying and just sum it up for them.

There was a study that stated 93 percent of communication is determined by nonverbal cues, so the other seven percent is verbal, if that’s true then that means what we don’t say can be way more important than what we do say and of course how we say it plays a major part as well.

There are so many quotes about listening but I once read a quote that really stood out to me, it said “listen 90% of the time and talk 10% of the time”. While I’m not always good at it, I truly believe that and want to work on being a better listener. When we listen we learn and grow and even though growing can be painful at times, it’s always an accomplishment.

Now that I have your attention, I will say that I don’t believe in that theory nor do I endorse it, but it’s definitely something that most of us have heard at one point or another, especially those who come from single parent homes.

How many times have we heard, “She only acts like that because she has ‘man’ issues or ‘daddy” issues?’”

There definitely hasn’t been a shortage of material or conversation about women who grew up fatherless, but is it possible that some men out there could be seeking a mother figure? Could there be a deeper discussion on men with “mommy” issues?

Granted if we were to take a look at statistics, the number of women who grew up without a father would most likely outnumber the amount of men who grew up without a mother, so I could see how this could seem like an anomaly, but it still exists. And just because mom or another woman was there doesn’t mean she was loving and available.

Sitting and watching Donald Draper’s behavior on Mad Men got me thinking. Why is it that society has always had an obsession with women who grew up without an active father but not the reverse, men who grew up without an active mother? Draper’s character on the show has what most people would want–a successful career, a beautiful, loving wife and children and a picture perfect home. One would think that he would be satiated and content with his life, but Don seems to always be searching for more, always looking for the next woman to physically connect to, and it made me wonder. Is he just another example of a greedy individual that enjoys the comfort and stability of a home life but still wants to enjoy the many women encountered on a daily basis, or could it be possible that since he didn’t have a loving relationship with his mother growing up he is constantly seeking a feminine presence that he doesn’t have to be fully emotionally tied to all while trying to fill a void? It’s not that I care about Donald Draper’s character enough to discuss him extensively, but I am fascinated and curious about the way he conducts himself because I know that he doesn’t stand alone.

The theory that a child who is raised in a home without the direct influence of the opposite sex will be a maladjusted adult who is unable to cope with the demands of a normal social environment is simply not right. Many adults were raised with both parents and still struggle in certain areas. But could there be a link between men who grew up lacking a strong female figure in their lives and certain behaviors being perpetuated?

Challenges within marriage, emotional detachment and disconnect, mother/wife transference, fear of abandonment or the exact opposite, not feeling fearful at all of losing people, difficulties within emotional intimacy–are these manifestations of “mommy” issues? I’m sure many of these could affect people who came from a two-parent home, but perhaps men who lacked having a present, loving mother are more susceptible to these symptoms.

There is a lot that can be said about parent/child relationships. We can talk about daddy’s girls or the mother who just can’t seem to cut the apron strings out of their sons’ hands and stop controlling their every move, but this time around I wanted to talk about the motherless son.

What do you think? Do “mommy issues” exist? Sound off!

Whether you’re dating, engaged, happily married, or married and need that flame to grow a little hotter, a little brighter—living with the one you love can be challenging, even discouraging at times.  And let’s face it, classes are not being taught in school on how to maintain and cultivate healthy relationships within the home, so how are we expected to know these things anyway?

While mystery may be hard to hold onto in a long-term relationship (hard, but not impossible), intimacy never has to die as long as both parties are willing to put forth effort.

1. Say “please” and “thank you.”—Why is it that we are nicer and more patient sometimes with people we barely know and we treat our loved ones poorly? Being courteous not only says, “I appreciate you and don’t take you for granted,” but it also provides a sense of assurance that you aren’t “too comfortable” in the relationship and you care about how your lover is treated.

2. Give each other space—Reality is, you can’t really go three or four days now without seeing each, so missing your partner can get a little tricky.  Always maintaining your identity outside of your relationship is key, not just for living together, but for the rest of your life. You are still two separate entities and should still have your own interests, friends, and activities. When you are home, being under the same roof and not in the same room all the time can make living together a wonderful thing. No matter who you are, everyone needs time to themselves to do whatever they enjoy doing at home on their own time. Many couples feel that when both parties in the relationship know how to be together without the need to speak or be in the same room together all the time, it makes coming back together much more fun and alluring.

3. Stop the nagging before it starts—Nobody wants to feel as though they live with their parents or some type of dictator, so talk about how you would both like to run the household, but be open to mistakes and underwear being left on the floor, or toothpaste on the bathroom mirror. These are not reasons to drive yourself or your partner crazy. Think before you rant and ask yourself, “Will I lose sleep over him not filing up the Brita filter a few times?” If the answer is no, carry on and focus on the good things you guys do together, like taking turns cooking and washing dishes—but try to limit the complaining, and if you can’t, then have a sit-down and resolve the underlying issues respectfully.

4. Stay your beautiful self . . . inside and out—This doesn’t mean wake up with a face full of Cover Girl every morning, or run out and get a new lacy get-up every week. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but don’t let your man forget just how sexy you are. Even if we don’t want to accept it or acknowledge it, men ARE visual and do care about the way their women carry themselves. In other words, don’t live in that one pair of gray sweatpants with the grease stain on the front and your oversized “Oooooh on the TLC Tip!” t-shirt from 1992. Continue to take pride in your appearance, continue to go to the gym and eat healthy . . . even if your partner likes to bring unhealthy treats home, keep yourself disciplined and shining.

5. Keep private moments as they are . . . Private!—It’s normal to feel more relaxed about handling bodily functions and bathroom rituals as time goes on in a relationship, but you guys aren’t brother and sister. Reserve certain bathroom duties (pun intended) as solo missions—but use your imagination, there are still things a couple can do together in the bathroom that will definitely keep the party jumping.

6. Set aside the quality time—Getting dressed up and going on dates with your honey should never cease, no matter how long the relationship has been going. Sometimes quality time can mean different things for men and women, so while sitting on the couch watching his favorite show may feel like QT to him, make sure you are both getting out in different environments as a couple and getting what you need as well.

7. Surprise each other—Living together can present opportunities for romance that weren’t as easy to achieve before. Run each other a bath and have dinner on the floor sitting on a blanket, slip a note in his bag before he heads out the door letting him know how much you appreciate him taking care of you and how you can’t wait to see him later. Let your partner know how interested you are in him or her, a little act of kindness can take you a long way.

Clutch: What were you doing before you started Carol’s Daughter?
Lisa Price: Before I started Carol’s Daughter, I was working as a writer’s assistant on The Cosby Show. That’s where I met my husband, Gordon, who would also be my business partner. So by day I would be at the show and by night I would create my products in the kitchen.

Clutch: What is your favorite Carol’s Daughter product?
Lisa Price: Hair Milk. I love all of my products, but if I were trapped on a desert island, the one thing I could not do without is Hair Milk. It is the only product I have found that can make my hair shiny and manageable.

Clutch: How did you decide on a name for your business?
Lisa Price: I came up with the name at the very beginning. I made a list of things that I was and a list of things I wanted to become. There were other things on the list, like Robert’s daughter and Gordon’s girlfriend. But when I said Carol’s daughter, I got goosebumps. It sounded right.

Clutch: You have some really big name investors, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Jay-Z and Tommy Mottola to name a few. How did you manage to secure these investors?
Lisa Price: These wonderful relationships came about when celebrities started using my products and telling each other how much they loved them. I met Will and Jada through DJ Jazzy Jeff who was first a fan of my products.

Clutch: What is it about Carol’s Daughter that attracts people?
Lisa Price: Carol’s Daughter offers products made with love for your body, your hair and your spirit. We use the finest, natural ingredients available in rich formulas and I think people like that – natural ingredients combined with delicious fragrances are good for the body and soul.

Clutch: Would you consider your products to be appealing to all women, even women who are not of color?
Lisa Price: The Carol’s Daughter line includes over 100 unique products for face, hair, body and home – allowing for product combinations and possibilities for every man, woman and child regardless of skin type, tone or need. The healthy ingredients in all of my products mean that they naturally nourish and hydrate, inside and out.

Clutch: Do people recognize you on the street? If so, how does it make you feel to know people are pleased with your products?
Lisa Price: I love meeting fans of the products! Just this past 4th of July weekend I had the opportunity to meet and talk with so many customers in New Orleans where we set up a Pop Up Shop and it made me feel good knowing these men and women are using and loving the products that I created with love from my heart. It doesn’t get better than that!

Clutch: You have had such great success, do you feel that it came quickly or did it feel as though it would never come?
Lisa Price: I think once I started focusing entirely on Carol’s Daughter, the love I put behind it created the buzz which lead to the success we see now. I have never for one day regretted leaving television production to pursue Carol’s Daughter. But, in those early months after I left my job, I did feel the pressure of losing that steady income. I am very proud of Carol’s Daughter and how it has grown so quickly, but that it is still true to its roots, never sacrificing quality for quantity.

Clutch: Any advice for female entrepreneurs who need that extra boost?
Lisa Price: The most important thing to remember is to always stay balanced and transparent. If you remain authentic while adapting to the changing landscape around you, you can never fail.

Find ways in your community to test-drive your creation. I started with a local flea market run by our church. Use your family and friends for honest feedback. If they love the products they’ll tell their friends and so on. It’s that word of mouth promotion that is so priceless

Clutch: What made you choose Mary J. Blige and Jada Pinkett Smith to be the face of Carol’s Daughter?
Lisa Price: These wonderful relationships came about when celebrities started using my products and telling each other how much they loved them. I met Will and Jada through DJ Jazzy Jeff who was first a fan of my products, and Mary is such a wonderful member of the family – she is everything Carol’s Daughter is about.

Clutch: Where did you grow up and did you always have a business-oriented mentality?
Lisa Price: I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. I don’t believe I have always had a business mentality – the business began when my mother, Carol, urged me to turn my hobby of making products in my kitchen into a business. So I took $100 and followed my heart and my nose. I made my fragranced oils and body butters, put them in baby food jars and took them down to the church flea market. By the end of that first day, I was pretty much sold out.

Clutch: What else interests you outside of making women look and feel beautiful?
Lisa Price: I love to spend time with my family and watch movies. I also still truly enjoy creating new recipes and playing around with new ideas in the kitchen.

Clutch: Have you ever had any serious obstacles?
Lisa Price: There are ups and downs with everything. It’s important to stay positive and focused and keep pushing forward toward your goals.

Clutch: Have/do you ever miss corporate America?
Lisa Price: No! I love the creativity of Carol’s Daughter, and the fact that I was able to turn my hobby into a successful career… it doesn’t get better than that!

Clutch: Can we have a homemade recipe from you?
Lisa Price: My Rose Milk Bath is excellent for skincare in that it nourishes dry skin and can easily be done with items around the house. It is also excellent to soothe the emotions, uplift the spirit and boost the user’s self-confidence.

Rose Milk Bath

Clutch: Are you the sole owner of Carol’s Daughter?
Lisa Price: I share responsibilities and ownership of Carol’s Daughter with my good friend and an incredibly intelligent businessman, Steve Stoute.

Clutch: Any future plans you can discuss?
Lisa Price: Since my collections are all about pampering mind, body and spirit, I’d love to expand into products for the home—helping create that luxurious “me time” that’s so important. Otherwise, I’d just like to continue to be blessed enough to bring more of my favorite products to my customers, sharing with them my love and passion for fragrance. Down the line, I have plans to launch a baby collection, add additional products to my skin care line, and lots more.

Clutch: Any hair or skin care tips you’d like to offer?
Lisa Price: A good skincare regimen consists of using a natural-based cleanser that is created for your specific skin type, like my Wash Away the Oil or Bring in the Moisture, followed by the complimentary toner and lastly a hydrating moisturizer.

Sunscreen is so very important – we all need it, despite the level of melanin in our skin. Our Gelee de Soliel is my essential for SPF!

Clutch: What type of research or studying have you done to educate yourself on health and beauty or even the ins and outs of owning a business?
Lisa Price: I learned most of my health and beauty tips and tricks from my mom Carol and my NaNa Marguerite (whose hair magic recipe is one of our best sellers!). I started creating my own scents and creams because I loved to experiment—it’s always been a hobby and passion of mine. When I realized that it could also be a business, I began working to make it a reality.

Clutch: How do you find balance within having a husband, children and a successful business?
Lisa Price: Family first. My supportive loving husband Gordon helps me to find balance and
continue to work hard while still being there for my family and myself too.

Our Favorites:

When people first spoke of the digital divide years ago, it referred to the gap that existed between people who had access to digital technology and computers and those who had little to no access, but now, when I think of the digital divide, I think of how the majority of communication happens through the computer or texting, I think of how asking “are you on Facebook?” is as common as asking someone’s name or where they work.

I think of lost friendships through misinterpreted emails and because the tone of a text message was misconstrued. I think of questioning your man’s intentions and what he’s doing on social networking sites. I think of face-to-face interaction being diminished.

I’ve heard people say “the Internet makes the world smaller” but I’m not even sure if I want the world to be smaller, I kinda like my world big and unexplored just the way it is.

I do enjoy technology, I just feel that it can get out of hand at times and in the end we need to ask ourselves are we cultivating our relationships in real life? Are we wasting time online? I know myself, as soon as I turn on my computer, I can become so sidetracked. I’ll go online just to check business related emails and before I know it I’m shopping, checking out 30 different blogs, chatting online and then three hours are gone down the drain. I’ve even gotten to the point where I had to tell myself, once I shut the computer down, I can’t turn it back on until tomorrow, and I know I’m not alone. It makes me lazy, makes my eyes hurt and makes me feel at times that I need to get back to what’s important to me.

I think we underestimate how easy it truly is to become addicted to things. The word addiction doesn’t just refer to drugs and alcohol anymore, there is a new emergence of studies showing people who are addicted to the Internet. Count how many times a day you look at your phone, Blackberry, social network accounts and you might realize you are doing it a bit much. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being in touch with people 24 hours a day, seven days a week, your mind can feel a bit overwhelmed at times if you don’t give it a break.

I think back to a time when none of these means of communication existed and I wonder if relationships were more meaningful. I miss the times of being out at dinner with friends and everyone is talking and engaged and not answering emails from the table. I miss going to the movies and not having to see the person next to me with their phone open while they send a three-page text message. This might sound unrealistic, but I even miss walking down the street without people bumping into me because they are so engrossed in their phones.

It’s time to pick up that book we’ve been meaning to read for the past four months, get our friend’s addresses and send actual birthday cards in the mail and not just an E-Card or Evite. Listen to the radio, go for walks and let our brains think about things outside of seeing what everyone is saying on Twitter, call our friends instead of texting them.

How would you cope if your computer and phone were taken away? I challenge you (and myself) to log off, shut down, clear your mental browser and see how you feel after taking your mini tech vacation.

We all know who she is, she’s Brandy: an actor, singer, songwriter, mother, sister and so much more. After a hiatus and a lot of turmoil, Brandy is back and ready to spread her musical wings. Relationships, legal matters, Ray J and other topics came up during the interview, but we respect everyone’s right to keep matters private. In the meantime, Clutch garners a little insight into the world of Ms. Norwood.

On promoting now as opposed to the past
Promoting is a lot different for me because my life is very different from my past. I was 15 when I first started singing professionally, I didn’t have the responsibilities that I have now. I have a daughter and its very difficult being away from her.

On being intimidated by other female artists who have been on the scene
My mom always told me to never look at anybody else because that takes the focus off of me. I respect any artist that lives out there as well as their dreams because that is an inspiration for me to do the same. I think there is a lot of real talent out there. Music is self-expression, so there really is no right and wrong. It’s about preference.

On where she was mentally when she recorded her new album and what she wants people to gain from the album
The Human album reflects several different life experiences that I have been faced with. Each song has a different vibe and mood. Every song brings about the feeling of what the lyric is. I want people to feel like they have a connection with me and that they are not alone in the situations that they face or go through. At the end of the day we are all human and we are all the same.
On growing up in the spotlight
The only thing I missed out on was a private life. Everything else, I wanted.

On being from Mississippi
I love the south. My mom has a beautiful place in Mississippi that I love to visit. It is so peaceful there I go back as often as possible. I can cook (smiles), like a southern woman? I don’t know about that.

On her most memorable collaboration
My most memorable collaboration was with Monica. It was such an event! I would love to work with Will Smith in some capacity.

On if she has any regrets
I’m going to say no. There are things that I think back on at times and wonder why I didn’t make a different decision but I don’t obsess because I know I can’t change anything. I have to live for today and go forward with a confidence that everything is in Divine order.

On her greatest accomplishment
Having my daughter was the proudest moment of my life. Motherhood is great and challenging, she keeps me on my toes.

For more information on Brandy please visit www.foreverbrandy.com.

I miss these social gatherings and since I’ve lived in my apartment I haven’t had too many get-togethers. I know there are some people who don’t really like the idea of having company, but it truly does make me happy to roast a whole chicken and have people in my presence. The upsetting part about it all is the reason why I don’t have people over, and when I think about it, it really makes me want to scream! My dilemma is I don’t know where to begin with decorating my home (insert sad face), but no seriously, I’m really frustrated!

Aside from having my own room growing up (and not even my whole childhood, this didn’t come until high school) and my dorm room in college, this is really my first home that I have had to buy furniture for and fully decorate on my own.

Every time I go to someone’s house I’m always trying to take a mental note of creative things they do so that I can go home and try to recreate them, but in the end I get scared and feel like I can’t recreate things on my own. In my living room I have a couch, a lamp that is causing me to squint right now as I’m typing and a coffee table. In my bedroom I have a bed and a dresser. There is nothing on my walls, no rugs; I have a clear shower curtain, everything is so boring. I hear people complaining about lack of space and having too many things, but my issue is actually the exact opposite, I have plenty of unused space.

For some reason I feel like this is interfering with my mind a little bit, because they say that your home should be your sanctuary and while I do feel comfortable and relieved when I open my front door, take off my shoes and begin to strip, what I really long for is to walk in my apartment and love what I see. I want to feel like my apartment says who I am and has a true voice, because all it’s saying right now is “somebody add some life and color to me.”

I watch home makeover shows trying to get ideas and sometimes I even imagine them knocking on my door and telling me I need to go on vacation until they finish fixing my place up for me, and then I cry when they tell me how hideous my couch is and how I will be so much happier with the new one they will buy me. But then I snap out of it because this surely isn’t going to happen. So I guess you could call this my cry for help. If you have any ideas, pictures, personal stories or just words of encouragement PLEASE share. It’s a new year and time to make quite a few changes, my living environment being at the top of the list.