Clutch Magazine » Geneva S. Thomas

10 Reasons Why Beyonce is NOT the Second Coming of Michael Jackson

Geneva S. Thomas — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 04:04:59 +0000

*Warning: MJ stan on the mic*

Beyonce wants badly to be considered an icon. From film roles like Deena in ‘Dreamgirls’ and the melancholy and skip-worthy ’4′ album closer ‘I Was Here’, the 29 year-old starlet has been campaigning for sometime for the ‘remember me’ spot. Now recently her husband, ‘Watch the Throne’ emcee/mogul Jay-Z joined in naming his wifey “the second coming of Michael Jackson.” Isn’t this lofty, and a bit overzealous, yes? The blog-buzzing comparison made during Beyonce’s string of sold-out shows at New York City’s Roseland Ballroom seem calculated, contrived, and clearly biased. When Beyonce started with the ‘King B’ title, who would have ever guessed it would become so literal?

Whatever our thoughts may be on Michael Jackson – the alleged skin-bleaching, child-molestation, or his children who seemed to have fallen off the Jackson bloodline – we can not deny the late superstar’s incomparable global influence.

The new MJ? Geez, I would have settled for Janet. But even that’s a stretch.

Here’s 10 reasons why King B is NOT the second coming of the King of Pop:

1. Michael Jackson had 40+ years in the game. Period.
Beyonce is on her fourth album. This is clearly no match to Jackson’s loads of released and unreleased material – the chart-topping albums, films, and super-videos.

2. Beyonce will make me dance, but she can NOT make me cry.
Sure, we see Beyonce touring the world with thousands of fans swelling stadiums. And maybe they’ll be a few fights among “the kids” in the audience over room to “Pose for the camera, click, click,” but Jackson’s cross-generational appeal made grown men cry. Don’t believe me? Just YouTube the ‘Bad’ album tour. The man couldn’t even walk down the street. Beyonce, do you have to wear a fat suit to go grocery shopping for Frosted Flakes? No!

3. I mean, at least let the man be dead for 5 years.
MJ’s unfortunate passing was only 2 years ago…are we really ready to replace him already?

4. No one compares to MJ’s philanthropy. No one.
When MJ wasn’t in the studio or touring, the man was off in Africa greeting sick children plagued by HIV/AIDS. He founded organizations, and burn centers. He made a song for Willy and made us all cry at the 1993 Superbowl. Indeed there’s charity work by Beyonce to applaud, but lest we forget, MJ holds the Guinness World Book record for the most money given to charity by any entertainer.

5. She simply hasn’t had enough surgeries and law-suits. *insert humor here*
I’ll need for Beyonce to have a few more obvious surgeries to reach MJ’s appeal. And mega-stars are sued at least twice a week. There’s no record of earth-shattering Beyonce lawsuits interrupting a middle America episode of ‘As the World Turns.’

6. Who has Beyonce influenced? Don’t worry, I’ll wait…
There is no pop star since ‘Thriller’ – male or female – who hasn’t cited Michael Jackson as an influence. Usher, Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Ciara, Chris Brown, you name it – they all looked to the King of Pop for musical and dance influences. We’re not talking about who was first to wear a blonde lacefront, bag one of the Kings of Hip-Hop, or sport a high-shoulder Balmain jacket. What makes an entertainer iconic is that they set a standard. MJ set vocal and dance standards that changed everything when it came to performance. Sorry Bey stans, the ’4′ album sets no performance standards.

7. ‘Single Ladies’ is not ‘Thriller’ and ‘Who Runs the World’ (Girls) is no ‘They Don’t Care About Us’
The video for ‘Single Ladies’ was indeed a phenomenon. People took to YouTube creating their own versions, and unattached women everywhere had a new club anthem. But when MJ died, I witnessed children born post-’Thriller’ who lined Harlem’s Apollo Theater dancing the video’s entire choreography. And while ‘Who Runs the World (Girls)’ is a hyper-produced dance hit with feminist steez, it’s a far cry from the from the intrinsic protest and fed-up vocals MJ pushed out of his controversial hit ‘They Don’t Care About Us.’ All that topped off with a Brazil-based video directed by the king of protest film himself, Spike Lee.

8. MJ comes from an entire musical family.
MJ comes out of a family of entertainers. The Jackson Five, Janet, and yes, even 3T. Unfortunately Miss Tina’s super bedazzled costumes don’t qualify here. And is Solange even a Knowles anymore?

9. Let’s be clear, fame like MJ doesn’t exist anymore.
Arguably, there will never be another MJ. The late superstar’s infamy transcends age, race, and gender (no pun intended). It was a time that preceded celebrity gossip blogs, TMZ 24-hour star access, and Twitter celebrity rants.

10. Finally, where’s the Beyonce impersonators?
When I see a ‘Sasha Fierce’ fitted queen at the Time Square 42nd street station belting out ‘Dangerously In Love’, we can revisit this conservation again. Ok?

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Geneva S. Thomas.

An Open Letter to Shaunie O’Neal

Geneva S. Thomas — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 04:06:23 +0000

Dear Shaunie,

On the now notorious episode of your VH1 series, “Basketball Wives” – of which you executive produce – there was a look of serious concern when your fellow cast mate, and former basketball wife Tami Roman violently slapped another cast mate, Meeka Claxton. As they tussled, yanked weaves, and slung profanities, you stood on the periphery watching. I think I even heard you scream “Stop!” to Tami from a distance, who clearly did not. But your usual concerned face when the usual physical fight breaks out on the now third season of your hit reality series seemingly turned to exhaustion and embarrassment. And I can only hope that I’m right.

‘Basketball Wives’ serves up premium Monday night drama, and admittedly, much to our guilty pleasures. Under the guise of reality, we’ve seen your cast curse each other out, and more recently, oust less popular cast mates like Royce Reed. Drinks have been thrown in faces – a preview of your finale reveals Jennifer Williams taking an alcoholic beverage to the face , but this time, it’s from a man, her soon to be ex-husband, retired NBA player Eric Williams. The abundance of physical abuse is sprinkled with a thin slice of positivity – like you and Tami mediating a disagreement between Jennifer and Evelyn Lozada, Evelyn’s daughter graduating from high school, and in the former season, there was a heartfelt scene showing the cast comforting Jennifer when she experienced a break-down in Spain about her broken marriage. There are more positive examples to cite here, but Shaunie you do realize that the reality series you intended as an opportunity for America to see the women behind NBA powerhouse players or in your words, “What life is really like when you are with a professional athlete — and that sometimes all that glitters isn’t gold,” has turned into an adult showdown of grown women who will slap, kick, and curse out another woman at the drop of a hat.

But you Shaunie, in your artful way, have consistently assumed the posture as the all-knowing, veteran basketball wife, or ‘Queen Bee.’ When drama strikes, your posture is to fly above it – well, except the time you and the gang aggressively confronted cast mate Gloria Govan at a restaurant and even followed her to her car – behavior which you defended despite massive criticism. When a fellow wife needs advice, you’ll pop over to her pad to dish it to her straight up. And ultimately when it comes to matters of the ‘circle,’ like a don of a mob family, you quietly administer access or denial. But Shaunie, you’re no regular personality on VH1′s franchise of African-American women’s reality series, you are the show’s creator, and executive producer. This is precisely why it has been consistently confusing, and frankly annoying, to see you state you hear the feedback on the show’s negative portrayal of Black women, and how you don’t condone the show’s negativity. In a recent letter you wrote to CNN, you explained how your show, among other Black female centered reality series are “uplifting and empowering.”

You wrote:

“I do believe some of the shows featuring African-American women have positive story lines and are not meant to tear black women down. Shows like BET’s “Tiny & Toya” and “Monica: Still Standing,” TVOne’s “LisaRaye: The Real McCoy,” VH1′s “What Chili Wants” and WE TV’s “The Braxtons.” They all have the same core storyline — single, exes of high profile men, trying to raise their children and get their lives back on track. I believe that is positive and when handled properly can be very uplifting and empowering for women going through the same issues.”

Shaunie, I’ve watched every show you named and I have to say, I don’t recall Monica yanking another woman’s weave. I don’t recollect Tamar Braxton slapping one of her sisters intheface.com, and I certainly didn’t remember seeing physical abuse among women on BET’s ‘Tiny & Toya’ – which turned out to be a positive and celebratory show about friendship and sisterhood, despite the series’ earlier criticism. Shaunie, it’s safe to say using the model you mention, you don’t handle the business of ‘Basketball Wives’ properly, because there is nothing uplifting or empowering about your show at all. If you are in the business of generating profit and fame from reality TV, like most of it’s participants, well, then Shaunie, you have succeeded immeasurably. A check is a check, I guess. But do know that the later shows mentioned have achieved considerable ratings without the violence we now regularly experience on your show.

Let me be clear, Shaunie. I respect your hustle. Woman to woman, I think you managed your marriage with now retired NBA player Shaq O”Neal masterfully – despite his reported infidelities. And with your divorce, it is obvious you came out on top. You’re a mother of five children, and even aside from your reality series, you have side businesses like your line of shoes with Chinese Laundry. But what has been difficult for me to digest is how you claim to be aware of your show’s negative representation of Black women – and that you don’t agree with the fights, even on camera – but as the show’s executive producer, you haven’t modified the drama on the series, even in it’s third season. Shaunie, it has become particularly urgent to call-out your efforts to escape responsibility – especially after the past two episodes where we’ve seen the once sporadic and entertaining drama escalate to abusive levels. I mean, how could you green-light Eric throwing a drink in Jennifer’s face? I am certain you have demands from the network to achieve a certain amount of ratings. We get it, in the TV game, there is always someone higher to answer to. But Shaunie, at what cost will you continue to promote the degradation of Black women in America on the small screen? No matter how high you fly above the drama on any given episode, we all know you and the show’s other producers are the ones holding the strings on your obviously scripted reality series.

In the beginning when VH1 first announced the new series, it was dope to learn you were the basketball wife behind it. During basketball games, interviews and even caught on the street by media, you were always poised, fly, and seemingly about your business. I remember when the city of Miami deemed you it’s first lady, you were the original Lala Vazquez. While historically, Black women’s representation in the media has been tampered with, manipulated, and cast aside, it was somewhat hopeful to know that even with a new ‘Housewives’-esque show on VH1, this series would be anchored by a sister who would bring integrity, grace and style to what many considered to be then a trashy network.

I’ll never forget on first season premiere, my girls and I carefully planned our busy New York lives around the show. We gathered in Brooklyn over Thai food, and Riesling, and we were so excited to watch. Now Shaunie, it’s like ugh, I have better things to do with my Monday evening after what I witnessed the past two weeks.

Shaunie, I’m coming to you not only as a Black woman, but as a viewer. Your show is damaging, sloppy, and humiliating to watch. It would behoove you to take a little more responsibility. If not for your viewers, do it for your five children.

With love,

Geneva

Hello Kitty: 10 Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Vagina

Geneva S. Thomas — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:04:03 +0000

For most women, the kitty, or what is more formally known as the vagina, is a part of the body that is simply, just there. Sadly for some of us, it’s no different than the elbow, or the shins on our brown legs. Ask yourself, when is the last time you’ve taken a mirror to your kitty to become a little more acquainted? When is the last time you’ve pleasured yourself instead of waiting for him? The sexual modesty, and downright sexual repression in our community is an issue that has plagued us for ages. Moreover, it is arguably this very issue that instigates sexually transmitted diseases, most notably HIV/AIDS. Our sexual modesty and repression is also linked to the fact that most of us have never experienced the pleasures of an orgasm.

Ladies, let’s make a change. Become one with the kitty. Name the kitty. Say hello to the kitty.

Here are 10 things we should know about our vaginas. Some of these you may already know, but here’s that reminder we need every now and then.

1. Every Kitty is Unique, Embrace Yours As Is. Some vaginal lips are naturally small or wide, and some hang low. So stop saving money to get rejuvenation surgery or labiaplasty. You don’t need it!

2. Goodbye Douche, No Really! Your kitty isn’t supposed to smell like a bouquet of roses, it’s supposed to smell like a kitty. Stop allowing him or yourself to convince you otherwise. Moreover, douching is simply not healthy. Loads of research shows vaginal douching modifies the chemical balance of the kitty and can cause infections.

3. The ‘He Don’t Count’ Method. Ladies wouldn’t we all love to omit that one dude from our list of sexual partners? But no matter how much we would love to convince ourselves, the ‘He Don’t Count’ method is not actually proven to lessen the quantity of your sexual partners. So don’t tell you’re prospective beau it’s three, when it’s really four. As a matter of fact, you really don’t have to share at all!

4. Name the Kitty. What’s in a name, you ask? Well, for the kitty it can be tremendously empowering. Give your kitty a little pet name, and make your partner address your kitty as such before entering. OOW!

5. ‘Tis True, Some Men Love a Bushy Kitty. When he says he likes it bushy, don’t go running to get it all waxed off. Keep a manicured kitty whether you decide to keep it native or clean cut. Your hairs shouldn’t get so long that he can braid it. Ew. By the way, you should never shave a kitty, it’s delicate down there! And keep in mind, if you decide to wax, be certain to exfoliate immediately; no one wants a bumpy kitty.

6. Pap Smears Only Screen for Cervical Cancer. Your annual or bi-annual Pap smear will not screen for ovarian cancer, or any cancers of the uterus or colon. Have your doctor test you for those separately.

7. HPV is Not a Death Sentence! And those weird freaking commercials don’t make it any better. If you’ve been diagnosed post the HPV vaccine age of 26–like many sexually active women in America–it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong or that you’re a bad person. And it most certainly doesn’t mean you’ll automatically have cervical cancer. Monitor the virus by having a bi-annual Pap Smear. Stay healthy with a good diet, workout regime, and your next screening could be regular again.

8. Workout the Kitty. You should workout the kitty like you would work any other muscle. And even if you don’t have a partner to get down with, go on and pull out that trusty vibrator or the legendary rabbit. Remember, sex is healthy! Not only is it beautifully amazing, it’s proven to lower risk for stroke, heart disease, breast cancer, depression and stress levels. And it helps you sleep better too—we all need that!

9. No Tide to the Kitty. The use of too much laundry detergent on your panties, thongs, boy shorts or your ‘time of the month’ grandma panties can irritate the kitty. Use a small amount in a wash cycle, or opt to hand wash your favorite intimates—they’ll last longer.

10. Mirror to the Kitty. Your sexual partner shouldn’t be the only one who knows how your kitty looks, you should know most of all. In the bathroom after a relaxing bath, have a looksie. Taking a mirror to the kitty is also critical for spotting any irregularities. Know your way around your kitty. It’s yours.

Editor’s Note: Parts of this article were informed by Dr. Lissa Rankin, the ‘Girlfriend MD’.

An Ode to Black Men in Summertime

Geneva S. Thomas — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 04:04:57 +0000

Better than some raspberry Simply Lemonade.

Hotter than a sale at Bergdorf’s.

Crazier than an early Friday at work.

Greater than weekends with my girls at the Vineyard.

Hyper than ‘that’s my car’ in the 80’s.

Sweeter than how the breeze hits me out of no where…

There’s loads of reasons to get excited for summer–warmer days, vacations, and rooftop parties. But there’s nothing else that makes me crave the plus-eighty degree heat in the city more than Black men. Shirtless at the beach in Miami. Posted up in his shades on the rooftop in Harlem. Or even after church in his all white linen suit in Atlanta. Oh yes ladies, being a single girl just got fun again!

So what do I love the most?

The Way He Dresses… Sock-less in boat-stitched loafers. The effortless and smart white tee. The draw-string trousers or classic popped-collar polo. His off-season workout game has done him immense justice based on the way his frame manages to quietly peak through his cotton-blend oxford. No man does it like quite a brotha in the summertime.

The Way He Plays it off…His male-moodiness has taken flight. He’s more spontaneous than ever. And he’s suddenly unafraid to flash those pearly whites against his dare I say–chocolate skin. Even when a smile sneaks up on him, and he plays it off with a cool laugh just before he brushes his hand through his well-crafted goatee. Oh wee.

The Way He Flirts…Death of the word swag. But in this case, there are few words to describe that thing that happens in the summertime. He walks with that one white towel around his shoulder and a pseudo ‘Denzel walk’ at a Shell gas station, right after he’s spent $50 plus on gassing up the Range packed with the rest of his boys on the way to the picnic in Brookyn’s Prospect Park. This man bids in his own ‘Is you happy’ way for your Blackberry pin, and somehow, oh God, somehow, you. Just. Can’t. Resist.

What do you love about Black men in the summertime?

There’s Something About Tika: 10 Reasons Why We Can’t Get Enough

Geneva S. Thomas — Mon, 02 May 2011 04:06:09 +0000

There’s something to be said about Tika Sumpter. With six years on the soap opera ‘One Life to Life’, the Queens native shot to Hollywood ‘it’ girl status with her recent role on BET’s ‘The Game’ and as the only African American with a leading role on CW’s coveted series, ‘Gossip Girl’. Arguably the darkest Black girl we’ve seen in recent memory welcomed behind the exclusive velvet ropes of Tinseltown’s inner circle–perhaps since Naomi Campbell, the former Miss America Kenya Moore, and dare I say, Usher’s ex-wife Tameka Raymond–Tika manages to defy the industry’s clear hang ups with skin color. And what proceeds her gorgeous mocha skin is a woman with undeniable talent, and a career that has only just begun.

We’ve seen her slay the Upper Eastsiders in ‘Gossip Girl’ as a MBA power match to the series’ Chuck Bass, and bring the cocky Malik to his knees on ‘the Game.’ We’ve seen her steam up red carpets and New York Fashion Week front rows, and pose for a revealing–albeit airy–GQ spread. And through it all, Tika serves Black girl fierceness to little brown girls watching from afar and proving, umm yea, *insert sarcasm here,* she’s pretty damn hot for a dark girl.

We’re Team Tika all the way, and here’s 10 reasons why!

1. She’s so ambitious. This starlet did her time on the soap opera circuit and with dedication, she’s made it to the next level, starring on two of the small screen’s hottest series with enough momentum to fly even higher.

2. Serves inspiration. From Hazel Scott to ‘A Different World’s’ Kimberly Reese, the darker girl has long stood in the shadows of Black America’s lighter girls, Tika’s presence signals a change on the horizon, while exhibiting to young dark-skinned girls that beauty, hotness and talent truly comes in many shades.

3. She’s everywhere. Hats off to her manager and publicist, because there isn’t a fashion page or gossip blog that’s not buzzing about her.

4. Her fashion slays. From the red carpet, to her on-screen looks, Tika starts trends and we love nearly every look she dons. Tika’s hair and makeup is never a miss!

5. She’s got her own. Unlike some Hollywood women, Tika didn’t ride in on the shoulders of an insider boyfriend or hang with a trendy crew to earn her way into the spotlight. She’s a seemingly single lady that’s winning on her own merit.

6. The girl can sang too. Rumor has it the starlet has a set of pipes. On top of her booming acting career, we might see an album soon.

7. She takes risks. Whether it’s a dress or a racy role, Tika’s versatility and willingness to push herself is a testament to just how far she’ll go.

8. A weave to live for. She’s a walking PSA to Black women in America, this starlet’s weave is arguably one of the hottest in the game. Kudos to her hairstylist, Nadia Vessell, who Tika has partnered with on a line of hair extensions.

9. She lifts as she climbs. Whether it’s a green cause or a car race to raise money for a charity, it’s super dope that this busy bee finds time to give back.

10. She just makes us proud. It’s that something about Tika that gives us a sense of pride whenever we see her. We’re rooting for this fly girl all the way!

‘I Wanna Get You Pregnant’

Geneva S. Thomas — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 04:06:28 +0000

In a 21st century dating context where Black women in America are quantitatively disadvantaged, any supposed family oriented man would seemingly be a God sent lottery pick. But what happens when what gets the dream brotha you’re positively feeling off is telling you he wants to get you pregnant?

A few months ago, I went on date to New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art with a hopeful I was so sure about in the first month I told my Mom about him. We were playfully flirting inside of the Temple of Dendur when soon the squeezing the small of my back and subtle sneak feels on my booty turned into a full on tongue war. His wet and slippery kisses made his way from my neck up to my ear somewhere in between my Swarovski crystal studs and my earlobe. Out of nowhere, he uttered “I wanna get you pregnant.”

It was like a turbo Hoover vacuum sucked all of the oxygen out of my body. I found myself gasping, coughing…it was like some instant allergic reaction to artificial shellfish. I don’t know if he became hypnotic over the Givenchy perfume I was wearing or what. I shot a sharp look at him and said, “Umm wha, what did you just say?” I was hoping he would do one of those just kidding laughs and jokingly play it off, but instead with a serious face he straightened up and went, “Why you tripping?”

Shocked and taken all the way back at how for real he seemed, I clapped back, “Dude, you have to be kidding me! You can’t just whisper things like that in my ear!” Instantly my mind flashed back to the time we almost got busy in his condo in the middle of a syndicated ‘Martin’ episode. He conveniently had no condoms and claimed it was too late for him to run to the Duane Reade around the corner to get some. What’s more, he proceeded to undo my blouse as if it was really about to go down. Now I’m thinking he may have been more than a little thirsty that night, this man is trying to family plan on the sly.

Needless to say, our cultural outing at the MET and the dinner plans that followed at Harlem’s new Red Rooster was canceled. “Umm I forgot I have an early meeting in the morning. Let’s get up later.”

There was no morning meeting. Instead I switched my Kirkwoods to GAP flats on the corner of 83d & 5th, hopped on the train and met my girls at my neighborhood spot, Peaches. The first line after one sip of “Brownstone Punch”…

“What the fuck?! How can a man that fine and that educated be that damn looney?”

“Well, I’m not so sure he’s dumb Geneva, he’s just flirting. Guys find that sexy,” goes the always irritatingly intuitive and diplomatic Toya.

“I guess I’m off trend.” I said. “When did it become attractive to tell a woman at a freaking museum I want to get you pregnant?”

“I mean, why not say, I can see myself marrying you?” offers the sensible Deneatra. “My ex used to say that all the time when we had sex. He claimed he didn’t want me taking birth control anymore because it made me fat, and he never wanted to use a condom. After a while I put two and two together and really began to consider that he was intentionally trying to get me pregnant. Interestingly, he never talked about a ring.”

“Dede, you were just being paranoid about him,” says Toya.

“What was so strange about it all is that it seemed to really turn him on, it was sexy to him,” I recalled.

We unanimously became muted and glared out of the window. Our eyes roamed and ended up at the Marcus Garvey Elementary School across the street. A streak of cold shot through my body. This can’t be my life…

Is there seriously a sub-culture of Black men who intentionally want to get the girls they date pregnant?

We came of age to the series of R. Kelly songs from ‘Half On A Baby’ to one of the artist’s modern version, the collab, ‘Pregnant’ featuring The Dream, Tyrese and Robin Thicke. I began to think in bed that night, is there seriously a sub-culture of Black men who intentionally want to get the girls they date pregnant? And why is there the appetite for little league juniors instead of the call for wedding bells?

Could these brothas with a case of paternal instinct be really after a family or are they in search of some other kind of twisted fulfillment? And what exactly is so sexy and freaky about telling a girl, “I wanna get you pregnant?” Is it some kind of wordplay foreplay–the new head?

During my late night critical thought mass, another part of my cerebellum wondered, maybe I’m selfish or ungrateful? Should I be happy a guy wants to create a life with me? In a sea of non-committing brothas who choose to come and go, this one was talking children in the first month. But I quickly shot back to my senses. And I thanked God for it.

This man’s spontaneity and hasty taste for kids seemed forced and a little scary. Moreover, I thought about how important a meaningful relationship was to me and it’s eventual transition into marriage and family. A guy who somehow takes the idea of this too lightly is simply a guy I can not rock with.

All I could think about was how I would trick myself into forgetting about him by deleting his number from my iPhone and keeping myself busy over the next few days. I was vigilant on ignoring every call and text, and blocking his kisses out of my mind–which were quite good– and removing the vase of lilies he sent to my office from my desk.

Until Thursday while lunching at my fave Thai spot with my BGF (Best Gay Friend), I got a call from the parched-for-babies dude. I wanted to send him to voice mail, but somehow found myself picking up the phone.

Him: “What’s good? Why you been ignoring me?”

Me: “Umm I wasn’t ignoring you, I’ve just been really busy with a lot of deadlines.” My boy Sureme snickers on the other side of the table. I shush him and continue talking.

Me: “Honestly, I was a little turned off with what you said at the MET.”

Him: “Word? What did I say?”

Me: “Quit playing.”

Him: “I mean, that’s just how I felt at the time, it’s just something I like to say.”

While running him a series of questions in search for clarity, I asked myself how many girls has he uttered those words to, and why would he like to play with those words, when any other brotha would dash from the mere thought of kids? Ultimately it was a paradox too overwhelming for me to solve. I ended the call, finished my pad thai and downed a passion fruit bellini.

Shortly after I ended the call, Mr. Babies was on my phone again, but this time he texted.

“You think too much.”

Chris Brown’s New Rampage: Confronts ABC Producers, Smashes Window

Geneva S. Thomas — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 16:23:46 +0000

It is undisputedly juvenile and regressive for a grown man to throw temper tantrums every time he finds himself upset.

It was a only a short time ago when Chris Brown’s judge, the honorable Patricia Schnegg declared “No one has ever done a better or more consistent job”–referring to the 21 year-old’s modified behavior. But after an alleged rampage at New York City’s ABC studios—we all have to ask ourselves, has Chris Brown really changed?

Today on the release date of his fourth studio album ‘F.A.M.E’ (For All of My Enemies), the singer found himself questioned by ‘Good Morning America’s’ beloved Robin Roberts about ex-girlfriend, pop star Rihanna and their domestic dispute in 2009. Clearly upset by the turn to Rihanna, Brown attempts to re-route the questioning back to his new album. Now ABC reports after the interview with Roberts, Brown “stormed into his dressing room and started screaming and tearing the room apart.” ABC further reports staff inside the building called security, but before they could arrive, staffers on site says Brown smashed a window in his dressing room and glass shattered onto New York’s 43rd and Broadway.

One has to wonder what the series of counseling and community service actually did to modify the Virginia native’s behavior. Brown fled ABC studios walking outside in New York’s 43-degree weather with no shirt on. The performer recently tweeted, “I’m so over people bringing this past shit up!!! Yet we praise Charlie Sheen and other celebs for there bullshit.” The tweet has since been removed.

The singer seemed to win back scores of fans after a heartfelt performance on BET’s 10th Annual Awards show in June. Brown led an emotional ensemble of Michael Jackson hits before promising members of the community “I won’t let you down again.” And now, less than a year later, Brown proves his still struggles with anger and control—instead of smashing a woman, he smashes a window. Guess that’s progress.

See the interview with Chris Brown and Robin Roberts here!

What do you think about Chris Brown’s recent incident? Sound off!

‘We Off That’: 10 Things to Leave Behind

Geneva S. Thomas — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 22:01:44 +0000

One of the greatest things about being a grown woman is the ability to decide at any given moment to change–and it doesn’t have to be at the beginning of the year. Later for doing the same things over and over again in some insanely redundant cycle and expecting a different result. Amid uninhibited tears and an acoustic guitar in her seminal ‘Unplugged’ performance, our girl Lauryn Hill said, “Anything that ain’t growing is dead.” Today, we call death to a static, non-progressive life.

From cliché trends, dated relationship habits, and all the below, here’s a list of things we are categorically and unequivocally off!

1. Excuses to Keep the ‘Frenemie’ - We all have the friend who in real life, we actually can’t stand. We talk about her to our other more genuine friends and force ourselves to pick up her calls. But for whatever reason, we just haven’t broken ties with her. If it’s not healthy friendship, fix it or let it go.

2. Minx Nails - Thanks to Beyonce and other starlets, Minx nails took off like a rocket and suddenly it became cool circa spring 08′ to pay an insane amount for a manicure with a life expectancy of umm…four-five days. We’re officially off Minx nails. Opt for a lasting calgel manicure or a classic polish in a hot creamy finish.

3. Faux Socialites -You know the thirsty to near parched people on the scene at every single after-work event dressed to the nines at 7pm? Umm…do they have jobs?

4. ‘Loubous’ Just Because - Louboutins may be the official society go-to shoe in some circles–but gosh, am I the only one against mass uniformity? There are loads of designer shoe brands. Opt for whatever shoe you feel the sexiest in. This spring, try shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood, Rachel Roy, and Ron Donovan.

5. Mediocre Weave – Ladies, it’s tragic joke to think you can get a deal with a weave. You shouldn’t accept everything with a clearance tag–most certainly not your weave. Save your bucks, and go for the best of Remy. Try Indique Hair or Extensions Plus. Sure, you can get your girl from around the way to sew it in. And oh, please do see these rules for keeping it up.

6. The ‘Text and No Call’ – You met him months ago and he’s yet to actually call you–but you receive loads of one-liner, non-stop texts. You even became froggish enough in an interpersonal social media-driven world and leaped at calling him. Instead of answering, he texts you back just seconds later with, “What’s up?” Umm…we off that. Delete his number.

7. Holding Back Props – You see a sister on the train with flawless makeup and the sickest Mackage puffer coat with the clinched waist belt. Instead of actually telling her how dope she looks, you stare at her uttering the props in your head. Maybe next time try telling her how fly she is. It just might make her day and you a new sample sale buddy.

8. Being Afraid to Go Natural - You’ve been making excuses since undergrad. “What would my co-workers think?” “How would I maintain it?” Today there is a surplus of supportive advice and tutorials on making the transition. Stop over-thinking it and just do it!

9. Sub-Tweeting – You feeling some type a way about someone/something and you decide to tweet cryptic messages indirectly aimed at one of your followers. Your passive-aggressive approach just might make you feel better temporarily, but will it really bring real resolve to your situation?

10. Fretting Over Statistics - Change the channel and close the book. Seems everything from pop culture to the pulpit is telling Black women we’ll never be loved. Don’t fret on the “10:1″–all you need is one. Thoughts are more powerful than you think. If you keep telling yourself you’ll never have Heathcliff and Clair or Martin and Gina, you never will.

‘The Game’ Season Four: What Are Your Predictions?

Geneva S. Thomas — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 19:39:29 +0000

Thanks to scores of loyal fans, the football-centered comedy-based series ‘The Game’ is back on! After running the show in syndication, BET officially announced plans to resurrect the series canceled by the CW after three seasons as apart of the network’s new fall line-up. Now tonight, millions of predicted viewers will tune into the return of the coveted show created and executive produced by Mara Brock Akil.

The popular series stars Tia Mowry (Melanie), Pooch Hall (Derwin), Wendy Racquel Robinson (Tasha), Hosea Chanchez (Malik), Coby Bell (Jason) and Brittany Daniel (Kelly).

Season three ended with loads of explosives. Future parents Derwin and Janay grow closer. Malik finally meets his father, ‘punk ass Chauncey.’ Jason and Kelly divorce is final. Tasha deals with her insecurities with Rick Fox and sets Jason up with Camille (played by Stacey Dash). And after Melanie admits she’s still in love with Derwin, the two finally tie the knot in a drama-filled, tear-jerking wedding.

But what can we look forward to in season four? Will Melanie accepts Derwin’s baby as her own? Will Malik’s ego self-destruct? Will Jason eat cake and Kelly have the ultimate revenge on Tasha?

‘The Game’ season four premiere airs tonight at 10pm EST on BET!

Share your predictions on ‘The Game’! Sound off!

Can Women and Men Be Friends? Steve Harvey Says No

Geneva S. Thomas — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 16:29:08 +0000

Black America’s faux relationship expert, and the latest cover boy of Essence magazine, made a recent appearance on CNN and officially declared platonic relationships a fallacy.

According the 53-year-old comedian turned radio host, women and men can’t be friends. Harvey told CNN that he’s incapable of having female friends. In promotion of his latest book, Straight Talk No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man, Harvey says this about women’s male friends:

“He’s your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening except this friendship we have. We remain your friend in hopes that one day there will be a crack in the door, a chink in the armor and trust and believe that guy that you think is your friend will slide in that crack the moment he gets the opportunity. Cause we’re guys.” Harvey claims that this is the case with women’s male friends 99.9 percent of the time.

Once again, Harvey struts his unempirical “cause we’re men” unsubstantiated relationship advice, and major networks like CNN takes it all in. I know loads of women and men who are genuine friends; they have a sturdy respect for each other, and wouldn’t dare cross the line.

But what do you say? Can women and men truly be friends? Or is a male friend, like Harvey says, only waiting for the opportunity to make a move?

Can women and men be friends? Sound off!