The other day my boss, who is still nursing her son, argued how breasts were made to feed our off springs and provide the miracle of life. Instead they’ve been made-out to be accessories of sexualization, and ironically have become discounted for their intended use—breastfeeding. Not that there is anything wrong with a great pair of boobs. In fact, I have even teetered around with the idea of going under the knife to enhance my own. However, there is a lot to be said, or rather, a lot that goes unsaid about how we view our breasts apart from what the media shoves in our faces.

From an early age girls are being told what their bodies should look like, and when they don’t develop fast enough or not at all, some develop poor self-esteem. When I was a child, my friends and I would prance around stuffing our bras with socks and compare our new-found femininity in the mirror. Luckily, we quickly bore of it, tossed those suckers out, and ran to play outside. As a teenager, my mother jokingly bought me a boob jar, a savings bank for breast implants. While I laughed it off and retaliated by buying my mother denture cream, other girls sometimes don’t have as thick skin. Yet even in my young security, the idea of having bigger boobs never really left my mind.

A childhood friend of mine has also tinkered around with the idea of breast augmentation for years. Her own mother even encouraged her to get them because she was a part of the itty bitty titty committee and thought that having bigger boobs would enhance her daughter’s looks. However, my friend says having bigger boobs is just not that important to her now. “I feel like I’d be like POW everywhere; I wouldn’t look right,” she says. Having smaller breasts never affected her self-confidence, nor should it have. However, the fact that women who are comfortable with their body image, like my friend and I, would still consider altering themselves to fit-into societal molds seems unnatural.

Many simply just want larger breasts and to appear more feminine. Yet, does having larger breasts make women more feminine, especially when breasts of all sizes are made for the same reason?

While breasts are seen everywhere in the media and admired by men and women alike, when it comes to seeing breasts in their most natural state, many are against it. Breast feeding in public is a women’s right, by law. However, there has been controversy over breastfeeding in public and how women should be more private. Recently in the news, the mayor of Richmond, VA, Dwight Howard Jones says that “breastfeeding is a public health priority.” He is urging for more young and disadvantaged mothers to breastfeed their babies since studies have shown that fewer black women are breastfeeding their children than white women. Jones has created Virginia’s first breastfeeding commission which has initiated the use of lactating rooms for mothers to pump with hopes of increasing the number of breastfed babies in the city. The benefits of breast milk are numerous, yet many black women still opt out of providing it to their babies. Some find breastfeeding to take too much time, while others feel as if it is old fashion and unnecessary. This is unfortunate especially since breastfeeding has proven to reduce the rates of type 2 diabetes, certain cancers and diseases as well as infant mortality. What’s even more unfortunate is when women feel ashamed or embarrassed to breastfeed their babies in public.

My breastfeeding boss found it comical how people seem less offended of a magazine exposing bare breasts, for example, than a woman breast feeding her child at the mall. “I can’t believe people get so worked up over breasts. They’re just breasts!” She said.

We admire breasts in even their most unnatural states: airbrushed cleavage in magazines, padded lingerie, and breast implants, but when it comes to our own natural breasts, we often suffer reproach. Whether it’s breast size or breast usage, sadly women deal with far more scrutiny than men. With all the stories I’ve heard about my friends’ and other women’s disappointment about lovers’ penis size, for example, it’s a wonder how a man’s body image isn’t targeted the same way as a woman’s. Men didn’t go around as children comparing their part sizes, and they certainly don’t get as much open criticism about size during adulthood.

After a fling, we’ll quickly poke-fun with our friends about Peter’s little peter, complain about the wasted notch on our belt, and vow to never see him again. Peter, however, will never suffer identity repercussions of having a small dick.  While he may be aware of his size, or lack-thereof, he will continue on in this world cocky and unlabeled as a man with an insignificant dick. Imagine media that depicted ten-by-four penises as the ideal package. Would men then be so quick to judge a woman by her breast size if he knew that his own manhood was equal to half the norm? Would women then be more comfortable with their own natural breasts and exposing themselves in public for the sake of her baby’s health?

What do you think about breasts? Do you love your boobs? Speak on it!

A few weeks ago one of my best friends called me in a bind. She needed a little help making her rent so I offered to deposit money into her bank account the next day. While filling out the deposit slip, I began to wonder why she never really spoke about her financial situation. After all, I knew everything about her. I knew of every guy she dated, who she was currently dating and who she needed to dismiss. I knew about her family, her friends and how she was dieting to drop a few pounds. I even knew about her emotions and how she hated her job and was desperately looking for a change. What I didn’t know about was how much she was struggling financially.

Many of us grew up being told that talking about money was tacky, whether we grew up with it or not. It’s never been my place to ask about my friends’ pocketbooks and bank accounts, and it’s certainly not something I’d willingly share either. Over the years, I’ve learned more about the penis size of my friends’ lovers than the size of their savings. I’ve learned more about their sexual risks than their financial risks. I’ve even known their sex number, but never their FICO score. Yet, despite knowing even the dirtiest details about our friends, why is it that money remains such a secret?

I brought up my conundrum with another friend, as I was curious to know why we won’t talk about the things we don’t talk about. Before poking around with my questions, my friend jumped right in to telling me about the crazy sex she had the previous night with her boyfriend, how they knocked the mattress off of the bed, how her kitty queefed, and how humiliated she was but obviously not enough to forgo the biggest “O” of her life. We both exhaled, and I gave her a high-five through the phone upon venturing into a less climatic series of stories.

When asked about why women don’t really talk to each other about our finances, my friend blatantly admitted that it’s no one’s business. I retorted with a reminder of how only a few moments ago she shared openly about her nunu noises. She laughed but held her ground. “Money is just more personal,” she said. “It’s a part of our identity.”

Money does determine where we live, what we drive, what we wear, what we eat, and the list goes on, but is it that big a part of our identity? My gut reaction would have me quickly shout out no, that money does not define who I am. Thinking more about it, however, I’d have to agree that money often defines what I can do, and it is also a determining factor of how I feel about myself—with it, I feel accomplished and secure. I’m aware that money won’t keep me warm at night, but a nice cozy comforter and roof over my head will. If money is a part of our identity, why won’t we share that aspect of it with our nearest, dearest friends? Perhaps if we spoke more openly about money with our closest friends—apart from the deal we got on our outfits—we would be able to share our successes and strategies and help each other strengthen our individual financial security.

By senior year of college, many students have figured out who they think they are.  For me, I had finally become confident in what I wanted to do in life in terms of career and where I wanted to live. I had a great group of girlfriends with whom I had shared the past few years of my life, and I’d even learned to love my body and love using it with guys whom I thought I loved. Little did I know that all I thought I knew would be completely irrelevant and useless while I spent the next few months suffering through one of the hardest periods of my life. I was a college graduate entering into the college of hard knocks.

Graduating a few years ago into post Bush administration America meant that my post college dream job would be a lot tougher to find despite having an awesome resume filled with appropriate internship experience and references. It also meant that instead of sharing an apartment with my friends in the city, I would be high-tailing it back home to explain to everyone what my fancy education didn’t get me—a job. While I wasn’t alone in my angst, I definitely felt like I was. All of my friends were scattered throughout the country, and life as I knew it had ended with a turn of a tassel.

In between searching for jobs, writing curse words in my journal and complaining to anyone who’d listen, my best friend and I decided to create a blog as an outlet for our frustration. She was also in the same predicament as I: bored, broke and boo-less. We agreed that a blog would be a way for us to channel our emotions and woe-is-me plight since our families no longer listened, as well as a great way to keep in touch and maintain some form of stimulating conversation about world events and celebrity gossip.

Pause Mode became not only our now defunct blog title, but also an expression that described the period in our lives where we felt both hopeless and optimistic, sure and uncertain, normal and borderline insane. It was the point in which life as we knew it ended and began anew. It was our life, but in pause.

pause mode:

-noun, -adjective

1. To be stagnant.

2. A feeling of mediocrity; a mundane existence.

3. To have graduated from a prestigious university in a joke-of-a-job-market without a job or with a joke-of-a-job not befitting aforementioned swanky degree.

Money: That on-campus, work-study weekly paycheck doesn’t mean a thing when real rent is due. Mother, sister, cousin, uncle all have bills to pay, and the roof over your head isn’t free. Finding a job isn’t as easy as you once thought, and you certainly have worked too hard to settle for something you’re not passionate about.  You’ve made Dean’s List time and again, fed orphans in Africa, marched in Pride Parades in more than one city, studied with NASA and were inches away from flying to the moon … in college. But now, you’d be lucky to get a job at the Macy’s make-up counter—your Arabic is useless for ringing up MAC and Bobbi Brown.

Your first adult job as a college graduate leads you to take extended bathroom breaks where in which you sit aimlessly on the toilet, staring at the stall door while tapping your feet and buzzing your lips. While this is not what you expected, it is your reality. Be grateful and humble that you are able to earn a living, even if it isn’t what you see yourself doing forever. In most instances, if you’re smart, you will learn something from the job you hate so much and about yourself that will help you in your future endeavors and career.

Dating: You justified your last walk-of-shame because the guy majored in biomedical engineering, and his father was a senator from a red state. This time, the guy supersized your number one for free, and complimented your vintage messenger bag. Dating in college is a lot different from dating after college. An invitation to dinner at the dining hall followed by a late night stroll on the quad equals lots of sock on the door extra credit. Sadly, that won’t fly when the cutie from Wendy’s asks you to stay after-hours for a frosty.

Requiring a guy to call and ask you on a date versus texting you does not make you a diva; it means you have self-esteem. Esteem of the mother flipping self is critical after college especially when dating. Just because your life is in pause and transitioning into something wonderful and new, does not mean you have to lower your standards. Just because you are currently unemployed does not mean that you ought to make a habit of dating the unemployed. You are ambitious and educated and should expect the same of your suitors.

Emotions: You may find yourself in a state-of-mind which you have never known.  Psychiatrists call it depression; I call it survival. When Whiskey Wednesday rolls around, and there’s no one there to accompany you to happy hour, the chemicals in your body may become unbalanced. You may find yourself knocking your head against the wall, legs crossed atop the bed in which you slept in high school. Many of the friends who attended secondary school with you have moved, become parents, have changed or worse, not changed at all. Memories of basement beer pong tournaments and drunken cab rides home from parties become taunting ghosts of college past. You are not crazy; you are a college grad.

Acknowledge that your family may not understand what you’re going through or may have different expectations for you now that you’ve returned home. They may find you to be ungrateful, snobby, lazy, picky, and unwavering. You may even start to believe them. But remember what got you that degree—your relentlessness. Don’t give up on yourself and your dreams, but understand that your path to your final destination may be mapped out completely different than how you imagined. All of the feelings you feel are normal. Go easy on yourself, work hard, and practice patience. Your life in pause mode will soon pass.

What are some of your post-grad “pause mode” stories?

Ironically, I don’t remember my grandmother being superstitious at all, as she was a devout church-goer who strictly believed in the Word. Anything that went against her Jesus was blasphemy, and talk about anything dealing with luck, astrology or the supernatural was a quick way to get soap in the mouth. Perhaps the combination of being loosely tied to a single church growing up, not having very religious parents, and my own questioning and wonder as an adult lead me to stumble into the now widely used, more accepted, often deemed generic “spiritual but not religious” faith—I can just taste the bitter ivory on my tongue—which affords me the freedom to find my own personal meaning and delve deeper beyond the surface of whimsy “just something” traditions.

While I still have no clue where exactly the idea of coins above the door came from, I’m just as clueless as to why superstition has been seemingly swept under the rug and condemned by many religious, Christian African-Americans like my grandmother. For African-Americans, why is there such ambivalence to things like astrology, magic and the supernatural despite our deep rooted connection to it?

Supernatural and magical rituals have been a part of the African Diaspora for centuries, and many African rooted traditions and religions carried over into the United States during American slavery. Voodoo, for example, arose among slaves in French-speaking Louisiana as its own religion, amalgamating Catholicism and the ancient West African Vodoun religion. Hoodoo is often, albeit wrongly, used synonymously with Voodoo; it is not a religion but rather magical practices and beliefs that also have links to African rituals and was widely practiced throughout the South. Hoodoo allows for people to tap into supernatural forces and improve their daily lives in various areas, such as love, fortune, luck and health. Some may argue that Voodoo and Hoodoo are simply devil worship, but the vast majority of practitioners from the late nineteenth-century onward described themselves as Christians. In fact, the prominent worldview of Hoodoo is dominantly Christian, where in which the Bible was used as a source for spells.

These religions, beliefs or whatever else they became, dwindled away in the African-American community, probably because magic was no longer useful or needed. The end of slavery and dilatory advancement of blacks in America had to have influenced the lack of ritual usage as more African-Americans assimilated into a free America, thus even perhaps aiming to become less African. However, to say that the magic has vanished entirely is inaccurate. Literary works by Zora Neale Hurston, Alice Walker and Toni Morrison, to name a few, document and preserve the black seated connection to African slave rituals. Modern films like Eve’s Bayou and The Skeleton Key depict some of the folklore and ritualistic traditions passed on throughout the Deep South. Additionally, places like New Orleans still maintain an authentic, strong, presence of superstition and the supernatural.

With such historical influence for African-Americans, it’s almost disheartening how much this type of ritualism has disappeared. The hokey-pokey witch doctors and fortune tellers will always be a deterrent for me, but there’s still something nostalgic about reflecting upon and even learning about traditions and customs that were once our own.

What do Clutch readers think about superstition? Do you believe in magic or follow any rituals?

While I should have been yipping and hollering like most of the women in the place, I sat there with burrowed brows and a half smile trying to figure out how I should feel. Do women really get off on this? Apparently. It was obvious with all the dollar bills stuffed between banana hammock strings and scattered across the floor. Each time “Thunder Bone” cart wheeled into a split over a participating patroness, a handful of women would jump up and fan out singles O.G. style with a lick of a thumb.

A few drinks later, my edge had worn off enough to where I could crumble up a dollar and timidly toss it on the stage. It was with that single-handed gesture that I felt slightly empowered. Was this what attracted women to male strip clubs? Surely, it couldn’t be just for the oil covered slabs of meat strutting around with dimpled buttocks and twitching chests. After all, I for one was not impressed nor turned on by the cinnamon breath stripper soliciting a private dance while pointing at my purse. It didn’t matter how hard his abs were; there was just something not quite right with a man begging me for money.

Coincidentally, this random jaunt to the strip club led me to think further about gender roles, exploitation and the double standard for both. After that night I was convinced that male exotic dancers couldn’t possibly maintain any sort of dignity. Here these men are, both straight and homosexual, stripping off their god-awful costumes (my personal favorite being The Dark Knight), gyrating rhythmically to the narration of a hype-man not unlike an MC one would find at a club. Clearly, these men couldn’t have anything going for them other than being a gigolo.

When “Hang 10,” whose real name was Robert, came back to the table, I probed deeper. (The male exotic dancer will admit anything with a $10 bill being shoved down his thong.) Robert was “single” and had two children whose names were tattooed on his arm. Whether he cared for them or not, I didn’t bother to ask. I did hurry to assume that Robert must be the type to mooch off of women and default to selling his body for money rather than working a regular job. Was I wrong for thinking that his own exploitation of himself protruded beyond the walls of the club?

Last Halloween a group of friends and I ended a long night, yet again, at a strip club. We girls separated from our guy friends and seated ourselves at a table right in front of the stage. When the ladies came out, we clapped and shouted with enthusiasm, not because their dancing was anything more than what we each had done before at strip aerobics or what we each had bragged about being capable of doing, but because we felt a sense of camaraderie for womanhood. In response, the women winked at our table, shimmied over and paid compliments to our costumes. We’d wave goodbye as they exited the stage with our money.

Despite the social stigma of exotic dancing, we believed in the best of these women. They were students, mothers and female hustlers doing what they needed at the present time to get by and pay their bills. Because of this, my perception of the female exotic dancer is less shameful than that of a male exotic dancer. While the men seemed to be more confident and willing to show off their bodies, I found them to be more ridiculous.

My opinion contradicts the societal perceptions that men maintain a sense of power even though they are seen as sex objects, while women seem to lose theirs. When “Ginger” takes money from a man, she’s saying, “I’m sexy and powerful, and you’re going to pay to see my milkshakes in your face.”  When “Silk” takes money from a woman, he’s saying, “I’m less of a man because I’m selling my body. Please help me pay my car note.”

Indeed, objectification of the carnal body is not at all a reflection of human advancement. I’ll give myself a hall pass for the occasional relapse. Additionally, not every dancer considers their occupation to be definitive of their identity. However, for the sake of argument, when faced with an extreme example of double standards for men and women—even for the most liberal and genderless minded women—where do the lines blur between conventional support and societal reaction?

Is it more degrading for a man to be the subject of sexual objectification than for a woman? If someone like “Hang 10” were a straight, stand-up guy, dancing his way through medical school, would he be date-able? Would you date a male stripper?

Rarely have I heard men address such situations with as much effort and thought. In fact, most of those dating tips for men—the “Show This to Your Guy” sections— are found in women’s magazines.  No wonder designated male reads are filled with flashy, shiny things like cars, watches and scantily clad women; who really wants to dwell on the subject after the fact? I can assure you Brian isn’t reading “Ten Ways to Impress a Woman on a Date” and Phillip will not be found texting Junior about why Sheila isn’t calling anymore.

Instead of a jaunty “Go get ‘em!” smack on the ass to all the dating women out there who are presently rewinding in their heads what worked, didn’t work, or will work,  I would like to bar-slide a cold “Who gives a (insert your favorite word here).”

Bottoms up, and take it to the head. Color me jaded, but not caring a lot feels a little too good.

When He Doesn’t Call:
Let’s face it, guys don’t make voice-to-voice contact with women anymore, so instead of waiting for a text, put on your heels and head to the bar. Research has shown that a woman exudes a certain evolutionary mien while in dimly lit places with aromas of malted barley.

You will be stunned to find how quickly someone is willing to strike up a conversation with you. So what if he’s packing a belly and peppered hair—Bob might be funny! Throw the never talk to strangers rule out of the window and practice being charming and doted on. You might be surprised how awesome you sound to a stranger who’s had four beers. More importantly, you will impress yourself by stepping out of your shell and loosening up a bit.

Note: Bob, who was in town on business, became a great connect for me in college. After he bought out my tab, he gave me his business card and later a lead on an internship.  Apparently, he was so impressed with how colorfully I negated his younger gender species, that he endorsed my talents with a letter of recommendation. Bob left the bar and returned to Topeka. I left feeling oddly empowered. Then I spit and adjusted myself before hopping on the subway back to campus.

When He Doesn’t Choose You:
Whether it’s another woman or his career that he’d rather focus on, he’s not feeling you, and that’s okay. Your effort is no longer warranted. This should be a relief because now you have two options.

Beat him at his own game—not for him, but for you. Call up Tony or the mean time, in between guy just to avert your attention elsewhere. This might be the guy who only texts you after eleven on weekends when you’re already nestled nicely in your bed or out on the town with your girls. Maybe you’ll want to finally respond and meet-up for a drink or something that you would like to do.  The next time that persistent bug-a-boo asks to see you, take that impromptu invitation, and run with it. Have him meet you somewhere that you’ve always wanted to go. The key here is to not go out of your way, be safe and have fun.

He’s decided that he needs to focus on his career, and thus, it’s not a good time for him to have a relationship; or rather, he’s just not that into you. Why not emulate him? Throw yourself into your job, education or hobbies. If he can use this excuse, so can you. Use this time to give all you got climbing the corporate ladder. Your dedication to your work will reap reward tenfold. You might just get that promotion you never imagined you could.

Likewise, choosing your studies over studying that man will definitely pay off, and it makes planning your night that much easier. You’re no longer waiting by the phone or complaining that he doesn’t call enough because you’re too enthralled with “Logic 101: Plausible and Implausible Reasoning:  What Happened?  What Will Happen Next?”

While the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that those with higher degrees earn more and suffer less with unemployment, there are no official studies that prove that those without college degrees lack intellectual currency entirely. Moreover, having a college degree is not a sure sign of intelligence, smarts or aptitude.

Indeed, a college education is undoubtedly invaluable and advantageous for reasons other than income, but when it comes to dating, are college educated women and those who adhere to strict must-haves open to exploring the exception to the rule?

A few days ago a colleague and I were having a conversation about her dating list. On it were three simple things that she declared were non-negotiable: a college degree, humor, and one who makes more money than her. The latter stemmed from divorcing a man in a 50-50 state where in which she, the bread winner, had to divvy up and pay him half of everything. When pressed about her first must-have, my colleague claimed that a man can have millions but at the end of the day he needed brains that came from an alma mater. With a Masters under her belt, she believes that a man with a degree is better learned in the ways of communication and conversation.

Her conclusion obviously rules out non-degree successes like, for example, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Jay-Z, and a plethora of other lesser-known, highly intelligent men whose plump portfolios are diploma deficient. Needless to say, with money comes power, and these individuals surely aren’t sweating that paper.

Money aside, other women admit that having a college degree represents more for them. Out of my female friends with bachelor degrees, most feel that because they’ve earned a degree, their male suitors ought to have earned one too. With all the hard work and challenges that come along with university life, being able to overcome and accomplish such a milestone is significant to one’s character. Additionally, for first-generation college graduates especially, earning a degree can symbolize an upward change in trajectory for not only themselves but also for their families, friends and community.

But what about the exceptions to the rule, men without college degrees?

In another conversation, this time with a friend who is pursuing a career in the military, it was admitted that a man did not necessarily have to have a degree so long as he was successful and ambitious in his own right. My beautiful, early-twenties, homeowner friend feels that a man’s ambition is more important than what a piece of paper insinuates. For example, the men who’ve traveled the world in their military careers, earning rank, power, knowledge and experience that the average college graduate may never is far more relatable to this particular friend of mine.

My far more liberal, HBCU educated, best friend could care less about formal credentials. One of her most intelligent boyfriends opted to follow a path other than university; he was a musician and worked in the community. Along with his neurotic personality and refreshingly worldly disposition, she admired his thoughts, his similar tastes in music, and the fact that he was an empathetic semi-feminist who just “got” her. Although she is still young, every fiber in my being doubts that my beloved friend will alter what she thinks is “good enough” or non-negotiable in a man. “People are just people,” she always says.

I can’t help but return to a chat I’ve had over and over again with my college-educated friend who has single-handedly put her daughter through school and has maintained a successful business, all while being fabulously single and fabulous—“I just want a good black man!”

Clutch: How long have you been painting?
Dawn: I have been painting for about thirteen years, but I have been drawing since I was a child.

Clutch: Did you grow up in a creative environment/family?
Dawn: I was the visual artist in the household, but my mother wrote music. I also have a sister who enjoys singing and another sister who enjoys creative writing.

Clutch: I see that you got your Bachelors Degree from UT Austin and finished your JD this year…how did you manage to find time to create?
Dawn: It was difficult to focus on my artwork while in school studying other subjects. I tried to make time for art on evenings and weekends.

Clutch: Obviously you take your artistic work very seriously, are you or do you plan to practice law, too?
Dawn: At this time, I plan on focusing on my art career. However, if I ever did decide to practice law, I am interested in art law, which involves contracts and intellectual property issues.

Clutch: I ask because I’m amazed at how you can accomplish doing two very different yet great things, earning your JD and becoming a professional artist. Are they both your passion, is law your safety or will you do both?
Dawn: I always knew I wanted to be an artist, but I didn’t want to starve. I went to law school as a back up plan, but it was a lot more demanding than I expected. I am fortunately able to focus on my art now. The back up plan was interfering with my true calling.

Clutch: Your work is incredible! It’s the kind of art I’d love to have in my home and the kind of art I wish I could make! What inspires you?
Dawn: I am inspired by fashion in popular culture. I draw a lot of inspiration from fashion advertising– images you would find in a magazine.

Clutch: Where do you hope to see yourself and your art in five years?
Dawn: I hope to see my work as part of museum collections. I also hope to branch out into other art mediums such as film.

Clutch: Tell us how you felt when you sold your first painting? Similarly, how did you feel during your first solo exhibition?
Dawn: When I sold my first painting, I was very flattered that someone wanted to buy my work. I feel great knowing that there are people who are enjoying my work everyday in their homes. When I had my first solo exhibition, I was very nervous at first, because I was afraid that no one would come! Fortunately, there was a great turn out, and I also raised money for a great cause (Thoughtful House Center for Children).

Clutch: How long does it take for you to finish a painting? Do you become obsessed until completion or do you find that you have to keep returning to your projects?
Dawn: The amount of time it takes to complete a painting depends on the size and level of detail involved. Most of my work takes one or two weeks to complete. I prefer to work on one painting at a time although that is not always practical. I often have a couple of paintings going at a time, while I wait on bits to dry here and there.

Clutch: I’ve checked out your blog, “Life Of An Artist,” and I see you’re blogging about life of an artist, essentially. How is your life as an artist?
Dawn: So far, my life as an artist is exciting because I have reached a turning point. It seems that there are so many interesting opportunities waiting around the corner.

Clutch: You moved to NYC–the home for artists, I see. How has that transition been?
Dawn: The transition is going very smoothly because I am surrounded by very supportive people.

Clutch: You say your “day job” takes away from your art. What are the steps you take to get exhibits and to get your work out there when you work a 9-5?
Dawn: Being an artist never stops– even while working a 9-5. I am constantly thinking of new ideas. When the mouse stops clicking in the cubicle, I go home and put those ideas on canvas. There isn’t much downtime because evenings and weekends are used for networking and creating art.

Clutch: Do you hope to become a famous modern artist, and who are your customers/buyers?
Dawn: There are many successful living modern artists such as David LaChapelle, Jeff Koons, and Kehinde Wiley. I don’t plan to follow in their footsteps exactly, but looking at their business models has been a good starting point for me. My goal isn’t necessarily to become famous, but I will be happy if people continue to purchase and appreciate my work.

My collectors are from all across the spectrum– from young artists like myself, to people that are on national TV everyday.

For more information about Dawn Okoro please visit www.dawnokoro.com.

Tracee Ellis Ross: You can see Ms. Ross being fabulous around LA and in recent films like Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls (2007). She was recently honored by the Aviva Family and Children’s Services with an Aviva Impact award for her philanthropic work and commitment to volunteering.

Golden Brooks: Last seen on the silver screen in Something New, Brooks is currently working on a couple feature films for 2009.

Persia White: Apart from acting, White has been working on music and animal and environmental activism. She has two albums coming out this summer. One album consists of songs she wrote which appeared on Girlfriends and the other with her band XEO3.

Jill Marie Jones: Jones has shown a diverse acting range in films such as The Longshots (2008) alongside Ice Cube and Keke Palmer and Perfect Christmas (2007) starring Gabriel Union and Morris Chestnut.

Though Girlfriends has run its course, hopefully, we will see more of these talented women on the big screen. Sex and the City turned into a film! Would you watch a Girlfriends movie?

For women with an entrepreneurial spirit seeking advice and support from a girlfriend of sort, make sure to add In Her Shoes Blog to your daily read. Creator and Founder of Crush Media, Renae Bluitt, started In Her Shoes to highlight the successes of women in business from around the world. The stories of Fly Female Entrepreneurs are not only  inspiring and motivational but also refreshing, as it’s important for women to see the trials and triumphs of real life women starting or maintaining a business. Bluitt provides positive and encouraging commentary and even believes that today’s economic climate will “produce a whole new generation of Oprah Winfreys, Magic Johsons, Tom Burrells and B. Smiths.” Now, that’s the kind of support women entrepreneurs need!

“I wouldn’t trade the freedom of entrepreneurship for the world, however, I’d be lying if I said it was a piece of cake.”

Clutch: What enticed you to start In Her Shoes Blog?
Renae: The In Her Shoes concept was born in October of 2008 as I was thinking of ways to extend my brand (Crush Media) while engaging women with entrepreneurial spirits. I enjoy writing and researching so the thought of identifying the flyest female entrepreneurs on the planet was enticing. I’ve received so many emails from women thanking me for the encouragement but what they don’t realize is that hearing these amazing stories keeps me motivated, too. I’m inspired in some way by each and every woman featured, so to say that this blog is giving me everything is an understatement!

Clutch: What type of content is featured in your blog?
Renae:Each Wednesday I provide my readers with an up close and personal look into the minds of a Fly Female Entrepreneur. These interviews are what I consider to be the site’s main course while the other content serves as an appetizer if you will. Throughout the week we touch on just about any and everything that could possibly be on a progressive woman’s mind with posts like “Staying Fly on a Dime,” “Do What You Love,” and “Great Networking…Now What?”

I’ve only been in business with Crush Media for two years but in that short time, I’ve learned a lesson or two about entrepreneurship that my readers can definitely learn from. I speak to my readers the same way I’d speak to my girls which makes topics like managing your online identities on social networking sites or the importance of thank-you cards quite interesting.

Clutch: What’s it like in your own shoes as an entrepreneur?
Renae:I wouldn’t trade the freedom of entrepreneurship for the world, however, I’d be lying if I said it was a piece of cake. It’s a lot like the weather we’re experiencing these days as a result of global warming; it can be hot one day and extremely cold the next. The highs and lows of entrepreneurship require a considerable amount of self-confidence. One minute you’re “in it to win it” and the next you’re questioning why you chose this route in the first place! Your friends and family can support you all day and night but if you don’t believe in yourself you’re destined for failure.

Clutch: What steps would you recommend future entrepreneurs take in turning an idea into a business?
Renae: The first step I recommend is research, research and more research – especially if you’re entering a new industry. The second step I highly recommend is identifying a mentor who is successfully doing what you want to do. Finding the right mentor can be an arduous task but once you identify the appropriate individual(s), you’ve got to nurture the relationship. People who advance the farthest in their careers usually share one characteristic: a strong network of mentors who offer long-term, close developmental support.

Last but certainly not least, surround yourself with positive/nourishing people who inspire you to be better. Steer clear of “energy vampires.” You know who they are – the folks around you who suck all the positive energy out of you. These people are toxic and if given the opportunity, will wear you down and kill your dreams.

Clutch: What are some areas women may stumble upon when starting a business?
Renae: Financing is a major roadblock for women starting businesses with high overhead expenses but what I’ve seen more often than financial limitations is an overall lack of commitment. We may “say” we want to be our own boss but the sacrifice it requires is often underestimated. I’m still learning what sacrifice really means and realize that I can’t always pick up and shop or travel like I used to when I was receiving the same check every two weeks.

Clutch: Why is it important for you to share your own business savvy as well as highlighting others’?
Renae: In today’s economic climate there’s really no such thing as job security so it’s important that we have our own streams of revenue to fall back on. While this recession may be painful for us all, I’m convinced that it’s going to produce a whole new generation of Oprah Winfreys, Magic Johsons, Tom Burrells and B. Smiths!

Clutch: Do you  agree that women entrepreneurs, especially women of color, should be more supportive of one another?
Renae: Absolutely. We can’t succeed without the support of our sisters.

What business philosophies do you live by?
Renae: As a PR & lifestyle marketing specialist and founder of Crush Media, the following are my core business philosophies: I recognize and accept that change is inevitable; it provides me with opportunities to grow and respond to my client’s needs. We have to do what we say we will do. It’s much more important to have a decent idea that you execute well than a phenomenal idea that you implement poorly. When in doubt, do the right thing. Lastly, treat others the way you want to be treated – with respect!

Clutch: Have you ever had a business idea that you regret passing on?
Renae: No, I can’t say that I do at this point. I try to live life with no regrets as much as possible.

Clutch: What impact do you think social networking site have on burgeoning businesses?
Renae: The impact of social networking sites on new businesses is huge! Right now we literally have the world right at our fingertips. Social networking, when done the right way, allows us to rub shoulders with key influencers and decision makers that we may not have interacted with otherwise. This is why it’s so important for us to manage and protect our online identities.

Potential clients, business partners and employers are using Google to peer into places a meeting can’t take them. At this very moment there is the “real you” (the warm blooded version) – the smart, witty, cute and compassionate soul all of your friends know and love – and then there’s the “online you.” What does she look like? The pictures we post online or get tagged in on Facebook are easily accessible to just about anyone taking the time to look.

Clutch: Do you Twitter?
Renae: I sure do. My handle is twitter.com/getinhershoes. I do my fair share of Twittering but I’m still amazed at how people can be that active in “Twitterville” and still find time to LIVE. It’s hard to truly enjoy life when all you do is write about it!

Clutch: How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Renae: How many pairs of shoes do I own? Enough to realize that New York apartments just don’t provide enough closet space. LOL.

Why is In Her shoes Blog link worthy?
Renae: Because it’s refreshing. There are plenty of amazing blogs out there focusing on fashion or celebrity gossip but this blog is truly in its own lane. In Her Shoes is like that girlfriend you call when you need to be lifted and inspired. She helps you put some pep in your step by showing you that women around the world, just like you, are bringing their dreams to life and making their own rules!

For more information on Renae Bluitt and In Her Shoes/Crush Media please visit inhershoesblog.com and crush-media.com.