Racialicious writer Latoya Peterson responds to a Teen Vogue letter: “I like him, but what if he’s not into Black girls?”

Ask Racialicious Special: Teen Vogue Edition

Rachel Simmons, advice columnist to Teen Vogue, sent me an interesting query from one of her readers. The question? “I Like Him, But What If He’s Not Into Black Girls?”

Poor kid – I sent it around to the team, figuring we could all relate. And we could.

Here’s what ended up in Teen Vogue:

In our team-only conversation, Thea (another Racialicious writer) mentioned:

Photo Source: Teen Vogue

Readers, what would be your advice to Jackie?

After the deluge of articles focusing on why black women can’t date, get married or find decent men in the dating pool, is it nice to be able to watch four black women presented as being single and attractive.

That’s probably the main reason I keep tuning into VH1′s Let’s Talk About Pep, Sandy “Pepa” Denton’s latest foray into the world of reality television. Let’s Talk About Pep focuses on the dating lives of Pepa and three of her friends: Joumana Kidd, Jacque Reid, and Kali “Kittie” Troy. Joumana Kidd, a sports journalist and former model, is newly divorced from NBA star Jason Kidd, amid allegations of domestic abuse. Jacque Reid, a newscaster most famous for anchoring BET Nightly News, joins the cast as a woman ready for both a relationship and a child – but not necessarily in that order. And Kittie Troy – formerly the voice of Cita, the animated host of a music video countdown – brings a reckless sexuality to the cast.

The four women frequently meet in a restaurant to recap their adventures (and misadventures) in the world of dating. LTAP has only been on for four episodes, yet the women have already discussed sex, dating younger men, foot fetishists, purely sexual relationships, phone sex, internet lovers, speed dating, approaching men, meet and greets and everything in between. Jacque Reid is the quintessential reporter, often appearing to interrogate many of her dates – as well as asking pointed questions about sperm count and personal goals within the first few minutes of meeting. And Kittie’s risque escapades feature activities like using a stripper pole and having her toes sucked in a limousine.

My boyfriend brought home the GQ with a three-quarters naked Rihanna on the cover (for obvious reasons), but warned me against reading the articles.  (He’s a staunch Esquire man.) Ignoring his advice, I decided to flip through the magazine – and the first article in the “Grooming” section immediately catches my attention. In “Say It Loud – Keep It Short and Proud,” Knox Robinson reveals early on in the piece that he sported dreadlocks for close to 14 years.

He describes cutting off his dreads as the acceptance of a life transition:

I was at the start of my thirties and dutifully undergoing the transitions of that age—the arrival of a son, new career moves. With a radically new appearance, I felt distinctly like a man who’d escaped through the back door of a burning building and used the second chance to set out on a completely new path. Old acquaintances stared right past me on the train, and at parties women who once denied my advances wondered who I was.

Which is cool – people tend to use their hair as markers of transitions.  Growing the hair long, chopping it short post-break up, altering it with dye, eschewing dye for the natural color, giving up relaxers or embracing lacefronts, these are all parts of the personal choices (informed by our politics and society) that are small tiles in the mosaic of our identities. And indeed, the transformative aspects of a dramatic hair change cannot be underplayed – a friend of mine recently cut off the locks he had been growing for more than a decade.  But that reason was wrapped up in feeling stagnant in a life and a relationship he no longer wanted.  So the cut, to him, symbolized moving away from the person he used to be, toward the person he wants to become.

However, Robinson takes his piece into strange territory when he starts his analysis, completely disregarding the politics of hair and instead concluding (emphasis mine):

We’re now experiencing a restoration of black cosmopolitan glamour last witnessed fifty years ago, and the guys who define that sensibility are dudes like Usain Bolt, Lewis Hamilton, LeBron James, and yes, Obama. I see their close-cropped hair as marks of men singularly focused not on rebellion but on changing the game, or more acutely: results. It’s hair for the man with a job to do rather than a comment to make.

I am amazed that the conversation around natural hair still focuses on the idea of “sticking it to the man” instead of an expression of culture or just a personal preference.  And I am also amazed that so many people still see natural hair as a barrier to professional progress, or a lack of professionalism or focus. I’m often fascinated by the attempted control of people through their hair (see: teachers cutting children’s hair; indigenous children being barred from school for wearing their hair long, the contempt shown to men who wear their hair long because it isn’t “‘masculine”) and how this control is often dressed in the language of “growing up” or “being professional.”

Articles like this one just remind me of how far we actually have to go.

“Helena Andrews is 29, single, living in D.C., and might be the star of a black “Sex and the City” — stylish, beautiful and a writer desperately in search of love in the city.” And so it begins.

The article revolves around Helena Andrews, an author who recently sold and optioned her memoir, which is described as a series of satirical essays about being an urban black woman in Chocolate City.

However, taking the long view of Andrew’s life – and what broader conclusions can be drawn around race, gender, and region – often forces the article to stumble. For example, this description of Andrew’s life works from the archetype of the sassy, single, chick-lit heroine mashed up with BAP overachiever stereotypes:

Fabulous gentrified neighborhoods? (Is that before or after all your cool friends move out because no one can afford the rent?) How can your life be repetitive, desperate, and empty if you have fabulous vacations and fabulous friends?

And don’t get me started on the post-racial thing.

The small glimpses we are shown from the book appear to have the potential to be hilarious:

Much of the focus of the piece comes back to this key premise, that all of Andrew’s problems seem to stem from:

The idea of love as another item on the to do list doesn’t really make sense. It doesn’t happen on a timetable. It’s as Kelis sings in Millionaire: Saks Fifth Ave don’t sell affection. So while doing things like earning a degree or landing a good job can be accomplished with focus, dedication, and follow through, love is messier kind of alchemy.

I mean, think about it. To get into a relationship with someone, you generally need two people to be: currently or soon to be available; in the same physical proximity (or internet savvy enough to be on the same website); into the same types of hang out spots, or to have enough in common to cross paths; both need to find each other physically attractive; and both need to be at a time in their lives when they can afford to spend the time to develop a relationship.

Throw all the other preferences out of the window – the list above is enough to make anyone’s head spin, and we haven’t even personalized it yet.

The article continues, revealing that Andrews may also have a habit of setting herself up for failure:

This sentiment is one that quite a few of women can relate to. This guy is nice enough – but still not quite enough to be what Andrews is looking for. Many on the Post site seem to think that Andrews has overly high expectations. But a large part of this is the fantasies sold about life. Just as there is an entire industry around the idea of having it all, there is also one at selling the easy relationship. Sister Toldja has a hilarious take on the quintessential black romance movie Love Jones, saying:

I had a different read on Love Jones (I enjoyed it but it could have been subtitled “Massive Failures to Communicate”), but Toldja’s point is what’s important. Nothing comes easy, but a lot of women are convinced these kinds of men don’t exist at all.

But, speaking as someone who is a DC area native, there are lots of men that fit every type of profile around town. Hell, if you want a man that’s good with words, who will tinge love poems with sweet vulgarities, they are plentiful. Last night, at Busboys and Poets, I didn’t see Darius Lovehall, but I did see “Have You Ever Made Love to a Poet” Marc Marcel:

Many of the commenters over at the Washington Post site latched onto Andrew’s admissions of bitchery to justify everything from racism to continuing black gender wars to anger over what passes as WaPo worthy. However, buried deeper in the article, I found this small segment more compelling:

This darker theme drives the fear behind narratives of singledom and success. What does it mean if you achieved everything, checked off all the boxes on the to-do list, and still feel empty? And realize this emptiness comes from realizing that the stories we were sold about “a good life” may not be what we want, and the one size fits all American Dream is confining? What if searching for a relationship wasn’t really about the dynamics between men and women, but about having the last piece to a puzzle we are told will unlock true happiness? And what if, even after achieving everything on the list, it still isn’t what you want?

Sometimes, our quest for love and companionship is really a quest for affirmation and answers. As Andrews asks:

M. Dot took the opportunity to look at Beyoncé’s lyrics in the context of the societal position of African American men and women. In the comments to her post, commenter Luna put up a link to theory friction practice, a blog that is definitely being added to my must read list. With the tagline “queering everything” the unnamed blogger (who I will refer to as TFP) throws a wrench into existing feminist narratives surrounding Beyoncé by pointing out subversive elements in “Video Phone.” As a refresher, here’s the video:

In a post titled “(m) Beyonce’s postmodern politic: feminism and videophone,” TFP writes:

The sheer number of pop culture, art, and political references TPF catches is astounding: later in the piece, he refers to both Bettie Page and Abu Ghraib and how those types of images/iconography play out in the visual landscape of the song. However, one point in particular jumps out about TPF’s analysis:

Beyoncé is actively engaged with the gaze of the camera in “Video Phone,” and as TPF states it is both subversive and conservative. The act can be seen as conservative because the poses and costuming in the videos reinforces the dynamics of the dominant media narrative about women, sex, and agency. In Dreamworlds 3, Sut Jhally explains how the language of the dreamworld in music videos is clear – women are to be viewed as consumables, available for the enjoyment of the male gaze.

As Jhally explains:

This paradox is where Beyoncé has carved out her career.

I enjoy Beyoncé as a performer, and as someone who consistently churns out club hits. However, the race/gender analyst in me tends to work overtime when consuming the media she releases, as much of her body of work plays – deliberately? – on that complicated border. While the images in “Video Phone’ may be subversive, Beyoncé’s videography paints a detailed picture of gender relations in a heterosexual context – one which is applauded by mainstream culture. Generally, her singles are about attracting male attention (for the first time, in a relationship, or post break up), deeming that she does not need male attention because she has money (which, by extension, represents freedom), or props up the idea of a woman’s role in the relationship as being subordinate to a man’s. For every ‘Survivor,” (which has lyrics that are not gendered) there are faux empowerment anthems like “Independent Women,” “Single Ladies,” “Bills, Bills, Bills,” which focus on cash flow being central to a relationship or to a woman’s independence.

Many of her collaborations follow the same script, like her vocals on “I Got That” with rapper Amil, which has a chorus of “don’t need you ’cause the rent is due/ you can be outta here baby/ because I got it.” Beyoncé’s presentation makes this sound like empowerment – telling someone else where to get off is always fun and she laces her honeyed vocals with a heavy dose of swagger. But underneath the lyrics, the fact remains that the woman Beyoncé portrays always defines herself against a man, and any empowerment she receives is from severing herself from one man into the arms of another (See: “Irreplaceable”) or attracting more male attention.

With that being said, it is hard to separate Beyoncé as a performer from those around her, such as video producers, directors, and choreographers who may find a way through her presentation to articulate a different type of gender politic.

The music flared up and we launched an attack, shaking our hips as we advanced toward our rivals on the dance floor. The coins on our hip scarves jingled as we stopped in the middle of the floor, isolating the lower half of our bodies, waiting for the chorus to drop so we could really move. Webby’s “Independent” pounded as we swirled, dropped it, and shimmied like there was nothing left to lose. The other team carefully appraised our moves and started to plan their counter attack as we dropped to the floor for our final moves. I was in the thick of my first bellydance battle and I loved every minute of it.

Now, I know this may be a little different from the ideas and actions that normally come to mind when people bring up the ancient art of bellydance. The Middle Eastern/North African origin of the art form tends to conjure up ideas of seductive dances with veils and traditional music, not dancehall, winding, or hip-hop. But, as with everything else in these modern times, bellydance has been remixed to fit ever changing tastes and to provide even more challenges.

The dance battle I attended was sponsored by the Bellydancers of Color Association (BOCA) during their annual Movement and Wellness Expo.

BOCA’s mission statement reads:
The Bellydancers of Color Association (BOCA) was formed to celebrate the sister/brotherhood, strength and beauty of people of color in relation to bellydance and other traditional forms of dance.

Although we focus to unite dancers of African descent, Hispanic/Latino, Pacific Islander, Asian, Native America, Rom, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean, East Indian, etc. in a cohesive organization all are welcome.

The association also promotes the following points as central to their mission:

Bellydance had captured my attention. After sweating through two fun hours in “Junk in the Trunk” class where I shook it with women all across the size, age, and ability spectrum, I was ready to commit to taking some classes. And there are so many to choose from!

Since I live in the Metro DC region, the MamaSita Movement and Wellness Studio is where I can go to get my fix. They offer classes seven days a week. I am personally eyeing the Bellydance Basic Technique class, Strip-ology, Belly Dancehall, Hip-Hop Bellydance, and Belly Sculpt (targeted excerises for core muscle groups.) And of course, dear readers, I will report back to you after I take these classes.

If you are not in the DC Region, you can still find a BOCA instructor near you through their website, or order the Moor Hips instructional DVD to practice with at home.

Bellydance is a wonderful way to get more in touch with your body, and is a workout that can be easily adapted for all fitness levels. With offerings that span from traditional dance to tribal dance to hip-hop and dancehall influenced moves, the only problem will be finding which format is right for you.

[YouTube Video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnnBs7h4n6g]

Suze Orman is a financial powerhouse. After rising from humble beginnings, she took a potentially life ruining financial set back and turned it into the career of a lifetime. With a popular show, a call-in program, and six books under her belt, Suze Orman has established herself as an authority on all things green and gold. Her latest book, Women and Money, tackles the specific struggles that women have with managing money and growing wealth. The book opens:

I never thought I’d write a book about money just for women.
I never thought it was necessary. So then why am I doing just
that in my eighth book? And why now? Let me explain.
All my previous books were written with the belief that gender
is not a factor on any level in mastering the nuts and bolts of
smart financial management.Women can invest, save, and handle
debt just as well and skillfully as any man. I still believe that—
why would anyone think differently?

So imagine my surprise when I learned that some of the
people closest to me in my life were in the dark about their own
finances. Clueless. Or, in some cases, willfully resisting doing what
they knew needed to be done. I’m talking about smart, competent,
accomplished women who present a face to the world that
is pure confidence and capability. [...]

Upon further investigation, I learned that so many women in
my life—friends, acquaintances, readers, people from my TV audience—
all had this stumbling block in common: an “unknown
factor” that prevented them from doing the right thing with their
money. Maybe it was fear of the unknown for some; maybe for
others it was a little streak of rebellion for holding it together in
every other part of their lives; or maybe it was just that they felt
that things had gotten so far out of hand, they were embarrassed
to ask for help and reveal just how much they didn’t know.
Women have been thrust into an entirely new relationship
with money that is profoundly different from anything we have.

Suze is right–many of our relationships with money are dysfunctional and going nowhere. So, when Clutch finally got in touch with Suze Orman, we made sure to ask her the burning questions that would be on our minds right now in order to take steps to fix this damaged relationship. We asked about everything from fixing wrecked finances to buying a home in a major city to budgeting on a freelance income. The information is below–make sure you use it wisely.

—
Q: What do you think are the most damaging messages that women receive about money?
Suze: That money is for everybody else’s enjoyment but their own. The message is one that is passed not only by words, but it is also passed biologically. A woman has the ability to give birth. A woman has the ability to feed that which she has given birth to. So it is a woman’s nature to nurture. Because of that, it is her natural instinct to give, give, give, give, give. What a woman doesn’t know how to do very well is to take. She doesn’t know how to take her own power to control her destiny.

To this day on my show–and we’re going on seven years, we get tens of thousands of emails–I have never once had a man write into the Suze Orman show and say “I have cosigned a loan for my son/my daughter/my girlfriend to buy a car/to buy a house/to get a credit card/to get a student loan.” Never once has a man said that. Woman, after woman, after woman calls into my show and says:

“Suze, I cosigned a loan for my boyfriend to buy a car. Now he’s gone and I’m stuck with the bill.”

“Suze, I cosigned a loan for my niece so she could go to school, she hasn’t been paying it and she’s not going to pay me back.”

So the message that has been infiltrated down through our genes, through our words, through our actions, is that what a woman is to do with her money is to help others with it. The message that a man gets is the purpose of money is for him to take care of himself and then his family. And it is the exact opposite with a woman.

And I’ve never gotten an email from a man saying, “I’m making $100-200,000 a year and I’m embarrassed because my friends are only making $30,000. What can I do?” A man who is only making a $100,000 a year is embarrassed when his friends are making $200,000 a year and he is not making more. A woman, on the other hand, is embarrassed if she is making $100,000, all her friends are making $30,000, she’s inherited a million dollars and I get an email asking, “How do I hide my money?”

You understand the tremendous difference?

And where does that difference come from?

Is a woman intelligent enough to invest? Of course she is. Is a woman intelligent enough to understand the stock market? Oh give me a break. In my opinion, a woman has more intelligence in her little pinkie than most men have in both their hands. But that’s not the point. The point is a woman will not give to herself as much as she gives of herself?

Women have been programmed to give more and not less.

Q: What do you think is the most important thing for young women in their 20s and 30s to know to secure their financial future?
Suze: Time is the most important ingredient in your financial future recipe. Every second that you spend at a younger age not being involved with your money, not taking the power to control your destiny, not making the most you can out of the money you have, you are not wasting $10,000 or $20,000, you are wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Let me tell you why:

You are 25 years of age. You put a hundred dollars a month into a Roth IRA. You do that for 40 years with normal market returns over those 40 years. You will have one million dollars by the time you are sixty-five. You wait until you are 35. You think, “What’s the difference? Why should I start when I am 25?” A hundred dollars a month is $1200 a year, is $12,000 over those ten years. I can take that hundred dollars, I can go to the bars, I can buy another this or that. What difference does that $12,000 dollars make?

If you start at 35 rather than 25, putting a $100 dollars a month away into that Roth IRA with normal market returns, you would have only $300,000 at the age of sixty-five rather than a million. Those ten years cost you $700,000 dollars and that is just at $100 dollars a month.

Women, ages 25-35, need to be putting away money little by little for their future. That is number one.

Number two: You need to say no out of love rather than yes out of fear.

You need to love yourself so much that when a boyfriend or a sister or a girlfriend–anybody–comes to them and says, “Will you cosign a loan for me?” you have to say no. You must say, “I love myself so much that I have to say no to you.” Versus, “Yes, I’ll cosign for you,” because they are afraid that their friend, their boyfriend, whatever won’t love them.

A woman needs to get involved with her money early, should always say no out of love instead of yes out of fear, and it is very important for a woman to never talk herself into trusting anyone. That is number three.

You have incredible judgment, ladies. You are born with divine knowledge within you. And when you doubt yourself, and when you doubt that you know better than somebody else, you are making one of the biggest mistakes in your life.

Q: As we are heading into a recession, what would you recommend is the best way to cut costs and maintain financial stability?
Suze: You start by doing little things. The main thing that you start with is your FICO score. That three digit number that determines the interest rates you pay on everything. So when you’re younger, you obviously have debt. So the question becomes how can you have the most intelligent debt out there? You have the most intelligent debt when you have the lowest possible interest rate. You can’t get a low interest rate if you have a low FICO score. So your first move is to make sure you have the highest possible FICO score you can. FICO scores run from 300 to 850. Your goal is to have a FICO score of 760 or above. The higher your FICO score, the lower your interest rates.

But FICO scores just don’t determine your interest rates. Your FICO scores also determine if a landlord will rent to you, if an employer will hire you, it is starting to determine if a hospital will take you in, and it also influences your car insurance premiums. So, if you really want to start getting involved with your money, you should make sure that you have the highest FICO score possible. You have a high FICO score when your debt load is low, you’re never late on your bills, you don’t go over your credit limit and you’re not opening new credit cards every week. That starts to establish a great FICO score for yourself. That’s the first thing that you should do.

Next, you’re going to obviously be making money. Hopefully, if you’re working for an employer that has a 401K plan that happens to match your contribution, you put in a dollar and they give you fifty cents. That’s an automatic fifty percent return on your money. You cannot afford to pass that up. So no matter how much debt you have, no matter how little money you have, you should sign up for that today. That’s only up to the point of the match.

Next, you should all have what I call a Save Yourself account. This is an account where you have at least eight months of an emergency fund, so if anything were to happen, you have a cushion so that you can always save yourself. It is also called a Save Yourself account so that if you are in a relationship that you don’t want to be in, you get to leave. You can save yourself. You can stay in a relationship because you want to be in one, rather than you have to be in one.

Q: I have noticed that there is not much quality financial advice to be found in mainstream women’s magazines. Most of the usable financial information is contained in targeted magazines like Money or Kiplingers, or in women’s business magazines like Pink. If a woman is not entrepreneurial and not starting her own business, where should she go for financial advice that is at her level?
Suze: Very honestly, if I were her, I would be reading my column in Oprah Magazine every single month. You don’t have to buy it – just go to some magazine store, open it up and read it. It will take you ten minutes. You should be reading me on Yahoo! Personal Finance. That doesn’t cost you anything. If you want, you can watch the Suze Orman show every Saturday night.

And do I think that if you don’t know a lot about money, that the place you should come to learn about money is from me? You betcha! I don’t think anybody cares about you as much as I do. So you should read my books. Don’t buy them, go to the library and take them out. But you should take advantage of every single thing that I have dedicated these past thirty years to creating to make your life easier for you, in an honest way, so that nobody ever takes advantage of you again.

Q: Let’s talk about the Save Yourself plan from the latest book.
Suze: I designed the plan so that women just needed to give me just one day per month. That’s because women are busy and they don’t have a lot of time. So I thought very carefully about this. What could I put down in a very simplistic format where women would have the ability to actually implement what I am asking them to do, where it did not take away a lot of time from those things that they need to do. The reason that I set up the Save Yourself account – and you should tell ALL women to go to www.saveyourself.com and then enter the code 701.

Clutch: Oh, one minute – wasn’t the deadline on March 31st, 2008?
Suze: I am pretty sure we can get TD Ameritrade to extend that deadline by a few months. Tell everyone to keep doing it because I have the feeling we are going to extend the deadline. They should just try it because if they try it, they find they will get in, and they will be fine.

So, if you think about what is happening with the interest rates – what the Feds just lowered yesterday to 2.25%- the interest you will get on your savings and money market accounts will drop. What is important right now is not the interest rates. The most important thing now is the $100 benefit. The way the account works is that you put in $50 dollars a month for twelve months. And if you put in that fifty dollars a month, $600 total, at the end of the year, Ameritrade will give you $100 dollars. You could put more in if you want, but that’s all it’s asking you to do. FDIC insured. No fees, no charges, if you can’t continue with it, you can stop. At the end of twelve months, if you managed to put in fifty dollars every month, you can do anything you want with your money, no strings attached. If you put $50 a month away, and receive a $100 dollar benefit at the end of the year, you have made about a 20% return on your money.

Q: You can even roll it into an investment account?
Suze: You are already in an investment account at Ameritrade. It is a money market deposit account within a brokerage account.

Q: We all wish we would have started in a good place with money. But let’s say you have already made mistakes with your money, and you are already supporting a family or in heavy debt. What should someone in that situation do in a time of hardship?
Suze: You can build a financial base little by little. You can only do what you can do. When you are really, really burdened with a lot of pressure from parents, from everything, just take one step at a time. Just know that if you save what you can, if you don’t spend what you don’t have, if you have the lowest interest rates, and you take advantage of the little things, you can start building your foundation. Let’s say you have a life insurance premium or a health insurance premium or a car insurance premium. Most of you pay that premium monthly. If it were possible for you to pay it out in one lump sum, you would save eight percent. When you pay it out monthly, you aren’t paying less. If you actually added up what you are paying out for the twelve months, you would find that you are paying more than the lump sum. That is because they charge you interest to carry the balance.

Clutch: But none of you spend time to figure that out.
Suze: None of you spend the time to figure out if you just paid more than the minimum on your credit cards, you would save a lot more money. If you just pay the minimum every single month, it would take you thirty or forty years to get rid of that debt. But if you paid $200 every month on that debt, you would be out of debt in three or four years. Maybe five years. There are little things you need to understand about how to make more out of less money.

Q: Can you recommend money strategies for young women who are freelancing, self-employed, or trying to launch a side business?
Suze: These types of endeavors put you in a position where it is difficult to save money and puts you in a position where you don’t have a 401K or health insurance.

Here’s the thing women: when you start a business, you think that just because you are working, and you are bringing in money, that you are making money. The key question is are you bringing in money and making enough money so that not only can you pay all your bills but you can also play yourself enough so that you can put money in a retirement account. Ask yourself, is this a viable business strategy? It’s not enough for you to work and go into credit card debt to fund your business.

You are working to make money.

So if in fact you are working, you are self employed, you are about to start a business, you need to know, bottom line, are you making money or are you not?

You have got to compare your profits against your losses. Your expenses against your income. You better have enough money when it is all said and done to make your retirement account, to have a save yourself account and to be able to do those things.

The other thing is that it is very easy to get into something and very hard to get out. So if you do plan to start businesses, women like to do something I like to call money pod. They like to pod with another. I have this idea, want to do it with me? Let’s do this, let’s do that. I mean, how many men have investment clubs that are popular? It is always women getting together. It’s important that if you do [join up], that you have strategies in case it doesn’t work out. How do you end the relationship? How gets what? Do you have key woman insurance, in case one of you goes down? Do you run this like a true business or do you run this like a friendship that makes money?

And you have to know when to go for it and you have to know when to call it quits.

Q: Despite the housing crisis that we are currently facing, many of us still want to purchase some kind of property. How can we plan for homeownership, specifically those of us who live in a major city with high home prices?
Suze: Your decision is going to have to be is it buying a home that you live in that matters to you, or is it getting involved in the real estate market period, so you own a home somewhere? In very high real estate areas, such as San Francisco or New York, even when the real estate is going down it still might cost you half a million to a million dollars for a very small place. Then the question becomes does it make sense to own real estate in high end cities even with the real estate demise? I would be here to say to you it most likely does not. But that does not mean that you cannot be a real estate owner. There is nothing wrong in some of these areas that have been hit and will be hit for a few more years to come. You can buy it, rent it out – if you have enough working capital, in case the person you are renting to can not afford to pay the mortgage – and you can afford to own real estate.

When real estate comes back, which will not happen for a number of years, if it did come back or if you were willing to buy a place, somewhere you may want to retire, you could have someone paying your mortgage. So twenty or thirty years from now, you could have a house that is fully paid for that you could move to.

Q: Is it better to buy a condo or co-op in a major city, or should you hold out for a single family home or townhouse?

Suze: It depends on what you can afford.

It is all about affordability.

However, buying a condo, you have to really understand the cost that comes with a condo. It’s not even about the affordability. You have to understand that the condo board runs that condo. Understanding that you have neighbors who you live next to who might make decisions about how you have to live that you will not like. Understanding that you might buy into a condo that has some amenities, and because the condo board wants to save money those amenities you bought into are gone. Let’s say there is a pool at your condo and they throw kid parties everyday in it. Or they decide no kids are allowed in it. Or the condo association fees are constantly going up. Or the building wasn’t built that great anyway so you are now having assessments of all kinds in order to make repairs.

There are tremendous costs within a co-op and/or a condo that you will not be subjected to in a very strange way in an individual residence. There are also emotional and psychological costs of a condo as well that you are not subjected to in a single family residence. For instance, I have two condos. One, I went to in Florida the other day. I walk out into my hallway and it was painted yellow. I was like “What the hell is this?” The condo board had decided that all the hallways had to be painted yellow, even though I had had mine custom painted by an exquisite paint company to match the color of my unit, which was a ten times better paint job than whatever they did. Did they ask me? Did they consult me and ask if that’s what I wanted? No! And they didn’t have to. And that’s how it is.

So be very careful – there is a tremendous difference between condos, co-ops, and single residency. It is more than what will you make the most money on. It’s what will you enjoy living in more?

Q: Last question: What do you say to the women who are still waiting for Prince Charming to come and rescue them from their financial problems?
Suze: Think Charlotte from Sex and the City – the kind of woman who won’t buy her own place because she feels like that’s giving up.

It’s simple – if you’re still waiting for Prince Charming, you’re the biggest fool I know. That’s what I have to say to you. Have you lost your mind? You’re waiting for Prince Charming and you’re then twenty five or thirty five and now you’ve met Prince Charming. And now Prince Charming is taking care of you. Maybe now you’re Princess Charming as well. And now you’re forty-five or fifty-five or sixty-five. And now, Prince Charming wants another thirty five year old. Or Prince Charming leaves, because you never took your power to control your own destiny. And when he leaves, he takes everything with him because Prince Charming was smart enough to get you to sign a prenuptial agreement. And now, you’ve lost it all. And now you, like the other thousands of women who write into the Suze Orman show are at 55, 60, 65 having to start all over because you waited for Prince Charming when you were twenty-five or thirty five years old.

You want to be that stupid? Fine.

But that is anything other than an intelligent woman.

Clutch: Luckily, those aren’t our readers here at Clutch.

Suze: Yes, very lucky indeed.

To learn more about Suze Orman please visit
www.suzeorman.com

(Photo Credit: Marc Royce)

Ask yourself: Why aren’t I practicing yoga?

Whether you seek enlightenment, physical fitness, a mental challenge, or a way to relax, chances are there is a form of yoga tailored just for your needs. Yoga also provides a host of benefits to your complete well being. Below are the five main reasons to start a regular practice, though there are many more.

1. Stress? What stress?
The intense focus in yoga, accompanied by poses designed to stretch your body to its limit makes yoga a great stress reliever. After a hard day at work, an hour bending and twisting on the yoga mat can alleviate aching shoulders, provide a constructive way to work out aggression, and allow you to reconnect to yourself during the final relaxation period.

2. Total Body Conditioning and Recovery
The coveted “yoga butt” may not be the only reason for your practice, but it is a major benefit of yoga. Working with your body and against gravity, the poses provide gentle toning and definition to your limbs and help with posture and sleep. Don’t be surprised if you find your arm, stomach and leg muscles proudly displaying their new found contours after few weeks of regular classes.

3. Yoga Brings Your Sexy Back
One of the less touted benefits of a regular yoga practice is the benefits to your sex life. By learning to focus and isolate various parts of the body, the yogic postures can definitely be applied to more carnal activities. In addition to reaping the benefits of your solo practice, there is even partner yoga to help forge an even deeper connection.

4. Increasing Awareness and Mindfulness
The yoga lifestyle tends to wrap other causes in with your practice. Many yoginis are also vegetarians or vegans and most are environmentalists. This is rooted in the yogic ethical belief called ahimsa, which means non-harming or kindness. Other ethical beliefs (yamas) include truth, non-stealing, moderation/self-restraint, and non-attachment/self-reliance. Yoga also contains moral observances (called niyamas) which include the principles of clarity or purity, contentment, commitment/perseverance, study/education of one’s self, and surrender—normally to a higher power.

However, you do not need to get a degree in Eastern Philosophy and language to enjoy the benefits of yoga. Just taking the time to quiet your mind and attend a class can have tremendous effects on your mood.

5. Yoga Adapts to You
As yoga has spread around the globe, it has been interpreted and remixed so that everyone can derive a little something from the ancient ways. Are you looking for a modern twist on yoga which challenges you mentally and physically? Or maybe just looking to brush shoulders with celebrities like Russell Simmons? Then Jivamukti style yoga may be for you. Bored by Enya? Try a hip-hop yoga class. Feel like yoga isn’t for plus sized women? Think again and try a class catered to your glorious curves. Addicted to multitasking? Try a combination class, like yoga and pilates or yoga and spinning. Need the total exertion and release that comes from a full body workout? Try power yoga !

With the advent of the internet, online classes and DVDs allow anyone to practice in the comfort of their homes while most gyms and dance studios also offer guided yoga classes. So what are you waiting for? Begin your practice today and start reap the numerous benefits of a regular practice.

Ever opinionated, Morton pulls no punches in regards to his views. His views of the government are fairly damning: “At this stage in our history, if we did not learn our lesson from Katrina, when it comes to delivering goods and services to [blacks] then we are falling into the definition of insanity. They are going to come up short when it comes to delivering solutions for our people.” He has also come under fire for knocking some of the best loved pet causes of the black community. Check out his take on reparations:

“Before he passed, Johnnie Cochran did a full examination of the case for reparations, the potential for a legal movement on behalf of an aggrieved people, and basically walked away and said ‘It ain’t gonna happen.’” One of the greatest legal minds in our example says it isn’t gonna happen—so all the rest sounds like false hope. If Cochran says it’s not gonna happen, why are we talking about it?

It’s a wasted discussion, it’s a waste of focus, it is a waste of energy. We have too many other pressing issues to move forward with—it’s just not going to happen!”

While his views may incense some, the overall message is stunningly effective. Utilizing clear cut questions, easy to follow analysis, expert commentary and spoken word, Morton’s documentary should be in the DVD collection of every black household in America.

Clutch caught up with Morton via telephone as he is currently touring to promote the film. Over the course of two hours, he offers his thoughts on the making of the film, the feature of the black community, reparations and how to move forward.

Q: What were you trying to accomplish with WBMT?
It’s a docu-logue—a documentary designed to create dialogue. And it’s doing exactly that. It was designed to provide a springboard for the conversations that a lot of black people are having, but just aren’t being heard.

Q: Why did you choose film as the medium for your message?
I was watching Michael Eric Dyson and Juan Williams debate on C-SPAN. A week later, I was watching a movie with Kevin Spacey in it called Beyond the Sea. In the movie, Spacey’s character is transitioning his career, and he said, “People hear what they see.”

There’s nothing really new about [my] movie. A lot of the things that are being advanced in the film have already been written about in books, newspapers, in op-ed and [talked about] at the barbershop. But in this 21st century, to capture an issue you need it on film. Film really gets this message moving forward.

Q: Has your film found its audience?
It’s kind of like the life cycle of a product. Right now, we’re in the early adopter stage. Those are the people who see it and want to run out and do something about it. I really believe that once some of the large black media begins to pick up on this—we’re talking the Harveys, the Joyners, the Basidens—that’s when the second phase will begin.

Q: Why are there so many conservative perspectives in the film?
I’ll preface this answer with this: I asked everyone—and I mean everyone—I could get my hands on. Skip Gates, Michael Eric Dyson, Cornel West, Julian Bond. Probably a few other names. I was going across all political spectrums because I believe if you are talking to Dr. Alvin Pouissant or a Dr. Shelby Steele about our situation, our history or their 12-year-old boy who just came to the door with their pants hanging down, they are going to sound alike. Just give me 90 minutes to just strip away the political dialogue so we can get down to our situation.

If you look at our history, as you look from Booker T. to WEB DuBois, from Malcolm to Martin, from Langston to Fredrick Douglas, we have always had this dichotomy in the community. But their ultimate goal was the advancement of the community.

When the politics are stripped away, these men will sound about the same. Because they are black men.

Q: What do you think is the connection between black leadership and politics?
It seems that if someone falls on the right side of the spectrum as opposed to the left side, it means that they are not really speaking on behalf of African Americans. What do you think?

Where are we in the 21st century when we will alienate or ostracize any dissenting voice? I am critical of some of the voices we have in our community, but I would never ostracize them. And that is one of the challenges that we get into—and it is not unique to blacks—you have to differentiate between arguing and fighting. Not many people know the difference. Arguing is debating a difference, and that is what I am advancing in the film. Fighting is to win and defeat. You’ll hear language from some people on the left that blacks of a certain viewpoint have been dismissed.

And I want to know, by who?

There have always been competing ideologues in our history. The ultimate goal of those voices was the advancement of a people. We thoroughly dismiss anyone that does not ascribe to whatever the current definition of black is and I think that is a mistake. Right now we have some critical issues that have arisen over the past 40 years that need to be addressed. I don’t care who is talking about it. As a black man in this country, I will listen to them all and I will try to fairly represent them in the film.

Q: Do you believe there is a class divide in the African American community?
I don’t buy into that at all. That war, the classism, the sexism, all of the isms . . . it’s not our war. We’ve adopted it, and we espouse that language, but it is not our war. The way we overcame was because we came together. The divisions these things perpetuate among us, I believe, is by design. I think in our hearts, we really want each other—other blacks—to be their best.

Q: You recently partnered with Tim Alexander to partner to promote your film and his film. Why did you chose to partner with Tim Alexander [who is the creator of Diary of a Tired Black Man]?
The real reason was . . . well, we’re both up for NAACP Image award together. If you look at his film, Tyler’s [Perry] work, [Bill] Cosby’s work, my film—they are all explorations of our relationships. The NAACP is really trying to address our image and where we are right now and how we think about ourselves. There are some independent voices like Tim’s out there. I am an independent voice. We are providing an alternative message to what you are traditionally seeing from Hollywood, from the mainstream media and from the 6 o’clock news. So in order to qualify, we both had to screen our films for one week in either New York or Los Angeles. Even though we have two completely different movies, it made more sense for us to screen the films together and provide Los Angeles an opportunity to see both films from two up-and-coming independent filmmakers.

You don’t have to agree with us, but it is different. I will say that his view of male and female relationships is a bit different from mine.

If you are going to link the two of us, the main link is that we are two black independent filmmakers. That’s where the synergy is between the two of us. We are telling two different stories but we are telling them devoid of the typical Hollywood machinery. We are two filmmakers with two different messages who provide two case studies to learn from: it can be done if you stand up on your own feet and believe in what you want to do. We can do it. We can take some power back from that monstrous machine that has denigrated us for so many years.

Q: So where in this is the black female perspective? I am not saying you have to solve all the world’s problems in one film, but I guess we are looking for balanced perspectives.
When I lecture in public I talk about this. Black men and black women have been vilified, demonized, denigrated over the past 40 years. I am not going to fight for the title of “doormat to society.” I will say as a black man, I have a more personal attachment to black men than I do to black women’s issues. And I do believe that we have gotten a little shorter end of the stick than black women have when it comes to our images and portrayals. You guys have got Essence and Cosmo and all kinds of things that have been discussed for the past 40 years.

I’m not asking to start a network for black men, just give me 90 minutes to start the conversation. Just to talk about the more venomous stereotypes about black men. Let me start with those. Then if the conversation goes the way I see it going, the restoration of black men would also lead to the restoration of ways in which we should treat [black women]. As we move forward, if we are treating you better, then I won’t have to do another movie about the stereotypes facing black women – it will be because we stopped treating you that way.

I know that this war [between the sexes] between us is a money making cow. Corporate executives can take this war all the way to the bank. They are getting paid. I am trying to wake the community up. If we are going to play these games, we need to know the rules, and who is really winning.

The tag-line of the movie is, “There are people and principalities with a vested interest to misinform you so they can mismanage you.” And our mismanagement has led to our division, and that division has led to a very large profit line. For somebody.

Q: What do you want viewers to take from the movie?
I say two things in the movie: ask the right questions and be better informed. If you are going to argue (or even fight), do not go into there half-loaded because you will lose. If you look at our situation over the last 40 years as it relates to our families, we have lost. We have made great educational strides, we have made economic strides, we have made great strides in corporations, we are everywhere. We are [in] places our grandparents couldn’t even dream of being. But we did it at the expense of our families. And that is the relationship between men and women and our children.

Q: Some people have disputed your explanation of the statistics, particularly in reference to the “more black men in college than in jail” interpretation and definitions. Why do you think people would want to challenge your explanation of the myths surrounding black men?
That person who quickly ascribes to the worst in us . . . well, I’ll make this parallel, and I am a man of faith. Martin told us 40 years ago we will get to the promised land. And if you look at the children of Israel after they left the bondage of Egypt, they had to wander in the desert for 40 years. They did two things while they were out there: they built a nation and they purged themselves. And those who followed the old ways got left behind. If you read your bible it will tell you, can’t everybody go. Those who hold on to [the worst in us] and bury us by ascribing to the worst in us are going to get purged. It’s just where we are in our history.

And I’m not preaching nothing new. This is just what is happening right now.

To those people who will fight me over a lie, I see you for who you are. And we will move forward without you.

That’s just what I feel in my heart.

Q: Why do you think people are willing to believe the lies that are perpetuated about us in the media?
For 400 years, someone has told my people that we are less than. That we do not measure up. And it is their responsibility to make us whole. We believed that! Up until about 40 years ago, we overcame in spite of that message. Now we choose not to overcome because of that message.

If you look at the part of the film where I explore the late 60s, they told us that they were going to make us whole. If you buy into that—if you buy into the problem—then you have to purchase their solution. Part of the problem says “you are not good enough.” The solution says “you will go to jail before you go to college.” It just makes sense. It’s the natural, logical progression of disenfranchisement. We thought that we weren’t doing well. I am telling you that the investment from the government, the public schools, the black leadership is to tell you that black people did nothing between Harriet Tubman in 1865 and 1965. But I will tell you, as a black man who knows his history, we handled our business and we handled it with our families.

We owned businesses. We stayed together. We raised our children. We built communities. Go rent Rosewood again. That story was replicated too many times in our community. It wasn’t an exception. It wasn’t an anomaly. That’s what we did until about 1965.

Q: Anything else you wanted to add before we wrap the interview?
Yeah, I’m back on the market again, you know if I could just get a wife . . . just kidding.

[laughing]

Clutch: We’ll put you in the Why Are You Single? feature . . .
Put the comic book shot on me. I’ll hold up some numbers. “I’m single because . . . ”

[laughs again]

To learn more about Janks Morton and to purchase the documentary please visit WWW.WHATBLACKMENTHINK.COM

When speaking to Van Hunt, even his silence speaks volumes. Reserved and thoughtful, Van Hunt weighs his answers carefully, often taking them into unexpected territory. These forays into the less obvious are part and parcel with Van Hunt’s signature sound, a combination of neo-soul, rock, R & B and funk. Having released three full length albums in the span of six years, Van Hunt explodes into the minds and hearts of his fans, hooking them with one sound and then feeding them with another.

His latest effort, Popular, is no different. While On the Jungle Floor was a marked departure from his self-titled debut, Popular challenges listeners to embrace other sides of Van Hunt that have yet to be seen. While tracks like “Turn My TV On” and “Lowest 1 of My Desires” are guaranteed to get people to the dance floor (or to the bedroom), other songs take a delightful departure from neo-soul territory.

One, offers sounds like a beautiful lullaby–until you listen to the lyrics. You’re a monster/hell is where you are/ until you’re back in my arms again. The vaguely frightening lyrics layered over a melodic guitar rift provide a jarring experience while listening to “Ur a Monster.” “N the Southern Shade” is a country soul offering that would be nice accompaniment to a mint julep, slowly sipped on the front porch. The title track, “Popular,” defies explanation featuring haunting lyrics on the fickle and elusive nature of popularity.

Beautifully eclectic, Popular represents the current incarnation of Van Hunt on wax–atypical, unexpected and impossible to ignore. Clutch caught up with Van while he was on the west coast and talked to him about life, love, the creation of this album and the need to face life honestly.

Q: What is currently influencing you musically?
Van Hunt: Well…not much.

I feel like I am getting closer to [this record] being the ideal record I want to make.

Q: The ideal record you want to make? Is this in reference to your MySpace blog post (where Van apologized for using the “ghetto music” brand )?
Van Hunt: I don’t think I was apologetic about my music. I think I was apologetic about using my background as a selling point. I think it undermined the legitimacy of the music. I have had to make a few compromises, sonically, but nothing that I didn’t sign off on. I’m proud of all the records.

Q: Why do you think your records attract such different audiences?
Van Hunt: I try to tell people [in the industry] at these shows, there are people from all walks of life. I think it’s because of who I am. My influences come to me when I’m writing–the influences that were there in my formative years. Some of these audiophiles think I am just showing off when I say I listen to Bach and Gang of Four and the Ohio Players and Thelonious Monk, but I really do. Or at least I have.

[The music I make] is my personality.

Q: How do you establish such a strong connection with your fans?
Van Hunt: It is only recently that the fans have been able to see my personality on stage. I think I am comfortable as a performer now. I got a whole new band. The bands previously–though they were really good–were filling in the spaces I felt I couldn’t as a performing artist. But now I’ve matured, and I don’t need that any longer.

Q: What are your impressions when you see people at your shows, and you have such a strong fan-base?
Van Hunt: This show, with this band, has been the most fun I have had. And we haven’t even really started on a full fledged tour…but it’s been the most fun I’ve had. I’m so glad to say that, on my third album, that I am really enjoying myself. And I think that people can tell when they see me on stage. I don’t know that they were able to tell before because I certainly wasn’t having that grand of a time.

I don’t know what your question was, but…

Q: What parts of yourself are you trying to express in your albums?
Van Hunt: Every ounce. And I think that is why the album refuses to be ignored. I like that my personality and my music is of such potency where you have to make a decision about it. And you either love it or you hate it. And I am equally thrilled with either choice. I do like the fact that the music gets to people’s ears, and they can hear it, and it’s unavoidable.

Q: What’s up with all the break up anthems?
Van Hunt: Certainly, I’ve had my share of ups and downs like everyone else. I’ve come to realize that life is less than perfect. As long as you’re living–living honestly that is–that is life’s form of perfection. And I think every song has been about that without me even knowing it. You listen to the first song on the first record which is “Dust,” and it’s certainly about that. “I am dust blown away over the edge”–he’s falling, and he’s happy about it.

That’s definitely been the theme of my life. I am a survivor. And I enjoy every second of it.

Q: What three songs epitomize Van Hunt?
Van Hunt: I couldn’t really say that any of those songs exist in entirety yet. I could pick “Out of the Sky” for the first record, second record I can say, I don’t know, maybe “The Night is Young,” and this record I could probably choose “The Lowest One of My Desires,” but I don’t think any of them philosophically cover who I am. Now, the fourth record (laughs)? It is my charge to make that record the ultimate statement.

Q:So you’re already planning the fourth album?
Van Hunt: Yeah, I’m about four to five songs into it. I want it to be a piece that makes all musicians–singers, songwriters, everyone in the industry–at least take a breath if not put their instruments down. They should hear it and just say, “Well, shit, he done said it.”

Q:How did you come up with the concept for “Ur a Monster”?
Van Hunt: I was breaking a heart while simultaneously having my heart broken. Unless you know the details, it is hard to fully understand the song from my perspective. That duality was going on, and I think the angst is in the song. As a concept however, it is about a woman who is not ready to love me. And I’m telling her “well, you go out there in the world. Just know that you’re a monster; you’re in hell until you come back to me. At that time you’ll be my angel.”

And at the end of the song, it goes into me talking to the world, I’m talking to civilization. And I’m telling them “this is my woman, whether she knows it or not, and if y’all fuck with her, y’all gonna have me to answer to.”

Q: Not a lot of collaborations with other artists. Why?
Van Hunt: There’s not a lot of people that I would even consider working with. I think that quite frankly, there’s just a lot of mediocrity out there. And the people that I have reached out for and invited to join me, they either haven’t or they have, and…it just hasn’t worked out yet. I reached out to Stokely from Mint Condition, Fantasia…We just haven’t been able to hook it up. So if you’ve got an invitation…

I reached out to Common because I thought the track was perfectly him–and he agreed. So he jumped on it, but I wasn’t able to put it on my record. But I loved what he did. John Legend has reached out to me to produce a song for him…India Arie…there have been a lot of people who have reached out and said ‘I liked your music.’

If I have a specific idea in mind, I wouldn’t hesitate to reach out to anybody. From singers to actors to politicians.

Now, in terms of hip-hop, I worked with Count Base D on two songs now, and to me, he’s the dopest. I don’t know who else I would need to work with.

Q: Count Base D?
Van Hunt: Count Base D, that’s my nigga right there.

Q: A lot of R&B/Neo Soul/Hip-Hop crossover in recent years, but it appears to be fading…
Van Hunt: Thank goodness.
Q: Why is that a thank goodness?
Van Hunt: *Dave Chappelle voice* That was…those were some awful times.

I used to have people around me who would be like “Sssh! Don’t say that! You gonna drive people away!” But man, I have to be honest. It was some lean years in the R&B world. As bad as it was, I didn’t think it could get any worse. And then it just hit rock bottom on a shovel.

Q: If there was one thing you could tell everyone in the world to pay attention to, what would it be?
Van Hunt: Oh, themselves.

Q: Themselves?
Van Hunt: Yeah, by far. As a matter of fact, if they make that their one and only thing that they pay attention to, the world would be a better place. What is your ideal person? Who are you ideally in your mind? You need to frame that and make it a target, and shoot for that every day of your life. Because that is all that is important in this life, I promise you. Everything else will fall in line. Your children, your mate, your love life, your dogs, your money. It will all fall in line after you have done the hard work which is facing your life honestly.

Q: So there’s a whole self-growth component?
Van Hunt: You call it self-growth, I don’t know about that terminology. It’s been used so much, people come to look at it like it’s fuu-fuu or shay-shay. It’s not legitimate. It is self-growth, but I prefer to call it facing your life honestly.

Q: What’s in your clutch? What are the things you cannot live with out?
Van Hunt: My ideas.

Q: So if you were stranded in the wilderness, you would only want your ideas?
Van Hunt: My ideas, my woman and my child. That’s all I need.