When she asked the security guards why they wouldn’t allow her onto the platform after her friends and others had been permitted, Ramos said they told her it was because she “was not pretty enough” and because she was “obviously pregnant.”

Ramos said the experience left her embarrassed and angry. She said she has heard from other people who’ve had similar experiences and is considering filing a complaint with the Iowa City Human Rights Commission.

“It made me start questioning myself and thinking, ‘Are my friends so much better than me?’ I know they’re thinner, but those bouncers made them seem more valuable,” she said.

Anyone with a bit of empathy and awareness of how the world works when it comes to the way society values women’s bodies probably sees where Ramos is coming from. There are many establishments that treat anyone considered unattractive like trash, all over the country, and they do it every day. She should be upset, and even if her being treated poorly because of her weight isn’t particularly surprising, it’s got to sting and is certainly unfair.

But I do have to wonder how the story of a college girl who wants to fight for her constitutional right to dance on tables made it out of Iowa City to national news outlets. Ramos did move forward with her Human Rights Commission complaint, a process that has fallen flat since the group informed her that there is no size discrimination law in the state of Iowa. She has organized a rally in front of the bar to draw attention to the poor treatment even though the bar’s owner insists that he would never want anyone treated that way in his establishment. She is doing the right thing.

However, is her case the one that will change weight discrimination laws?

The post Plus-Sized Student Accuses Bar of Size Discrimination, Does She Have a Case? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

The other day I noticed that someone I met at an event had requested me on Facebook with a special “networking profile.” Instead of the usual “this is my life” type of page that a person would use to share his or her life with friends through, this dude’s profile was bare bones and laid out more like a resume. All of the photos were from networking events, and he was clean-cut and stern-looking in his profile picture. Just a few clicks away was his real profile, which came up as a “suggested friend” for me (an inevitability I guess he hadn’t thought through). In that profile picture he was wearing a backwards cap and a “what’s up?” smile while throwing up deuces.

Aside from his commission of a throwback photo opportunity foul with the deuces throwing, this guy’s approach really rubbed me the wrong way. I have no open positions to hire him for and we’re not even in the same industry, but he cast his net as far and wide as possible for the sake of networking. Knowing people is great, but what better way is there to say “you are not actually my friend” than treating new people like cards in your rolodex? It makes sense to limit what you share with the world, but how many “selves” should a person present for the sake of such a vague concept of potential business connections?

The post The Problem With ‘Networking’ appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

“I didn’t have any reason to doubt her — I mean I thought she was a professional,” he told Daily Mail. ”But when I got home I looked in the mirror and I couldn’t f–king believe it,” he said. “The b–ch had emptied my mouth.” Olszewski claims that his new girlfriend left him because she couldn’t date a man without teeth.

Mackowiak, who claims that her relationship with her ex ended when he dumped her for that woman who has now left him, says she didn’t go into it intending to pluck out 32 teeth straight. ”I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions, but when I saw him lying there I just thought, ‘What a b—–d.’” The incident occurred just days after their relationship ended.

She even went so far as to wrap his head in gauze after the procedure and tell him that the funny toothlessness feeling would go away once the numbness wore off. It didn’t. She faces up to three years in jail for medical malpractice and abusing the trust of a patient.

I’m not sure who has the looser screws here. The dentist was dead wrong for yanking that poor man’s teeth out like that, but what was going through his mind thinking that it was a good idea to let a woman he’d done wrong do anything to him while he’s unconscious?

The post Revenge Gone Too Far? Dentist Pulls All Her Ex’s Teeth Out appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

The event was marred by the presence of about 30 members of the New France movement, a right-wing, ultra-nationalist group that formed a picket line outside of the venue.

One protester told Radio France Internationale: “why should Asians and Africans come here and have more rights than us? This is why we are demanding a Miss White France.”

The runners up were Niaba Romy, 22, studying political science and hailing from the Ivory Coast, and Aissata Soumah, 24, a business student from Guinea. The contest weighed 1,000 entries from all French regions around the world to select the final 18 women ages 17 – 28.

The goal of the Miss Black France pageant, according to organizer Frédéric Royer, was to “celebrate black beauty,” and give black women a chance to participate in a competition that is inclusive, unlike it’s mainstream counterpart Miss France. Detractors of the event called it discriminatory and shocking in a society that prides itself on color-blindness.

The post Meet Mbathio Beye, The First Miss Black France appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Don’t get me wrong, this was my impression based on the way the film chose to portray both him and her, but some of the things Cedella Marley described as part of her childhood did not sound fun. Like many children of superstar artists her father wasn’t always there for her, which is always hard. Bob Marley was also quite a character — womanizing, as his son described him, “harsh,” and obstinate about his ways (these aren’t spoilers, I swear), so it’s no surprise that his daughter was affected by all of it. Cedella has gone on to be very successful in the music industry herself and has three children of her own. On paper her life is great and she is likely a great person to be around…so why does she still seem so angry with her father?

I’m not sure what it takes or how to get there without completely unraveling, but recognizing that the way you were raised had an impact on how you view the world today is essential, whether you can find a fix for it or not. And of course, I use the impression that the documentary gave of Cedella Marley as an example of something that is very widespread; it often seems that many people are walking through life still angry at a parent whose behavior impacted them for the worse and then acting that anger out on other people, which makes me cringe when it comes from perfectly self-aware folks in their 30s and 40s. Some even openly use their upbringing as an explanation for bad behavior, but at what point is an explanation just an excuse? They say that time heals all wounds, but when it comes to scars from childhood, when is it no longer acceptable to not have dealt with them?

What do you think? Speak on it!

The post When It Is Time To Let It All Go? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

You’ve got to be a little bit open-minded and get past the decidedly unsafe for work opening line “ish for niggas with daughters,” but the classic Nas sound should be enough to carry you through if you’re nostalgic for it.

The fathers of little girls, or their absence, have been pointed to for every wayward woman who is sexually or socially inappropriate. Oh she’s on the pole? She must not have had a father. She’s staying with a man who beats her? If she’s had a good Daddy she’d never stand for it. Even if we don’t speak them aloud about specific women, these gross generalizations permeate our discussions about parenting and black fatherhood as the doomsday worst-case scenario of the failure to parent.

So, I find it interesting that Nas’ lyrics cover his now-18 year old’s interaction with the opposite sex not just as something he’s apprehensive about, but something he feels that his own misbehavior has influenced. He is taking a critical look at himself through the wounds that her (naturally) bumpy adolescence has inflicted on him, not on her. Could his take on fatherhood, while rather self-centered, help more men open up about their failures and triumphs as fathers?

The post Nas Releases Song ‘Daughters,’ Will It Encourage More Black Men To Open Up About Fatherhood? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Forbes

The ranking has two flaws that Forbes acknowledges: the FBI statistics only count cases of forcible rape, meaning that date rape and statutory rape are excluded, and the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network estimates that only 54% of sexual assaults are even reported, so this data is just the tip of the iceberg.

1. Saginaw, Michigan

2. Anchorage, Alaska

3. Fairbanks, Alaska

4. Springfield, Illinois

5. Redding, California

6. Flint, Michigan

7. Pine Bluff, Arkansas

8. Lawton, Oklahoma

9. Battle Creek, Michigan

10. Memphis, Tennessee

There are a few surprises here, one of which is the absence of many big city metro areas on the list. Although Detroit has already had a whopping 274 rapes this calendar year, women living in Michigan’s smaller cities are more likely to be crime victims. Forbes also explains that 1 in 3 Native American women will be assualted at some point in their lives, a rate 3.5 times higher than any group’s. This rate correlates with the high crime rate in Alaska, a state whose population is 15% Native American/Alaskan Native.

Whether your city is on this list or not, show me a woman who isn’t concerned about her physical safety — in any city — and I’ll show you a woman with her head in the sand. The sad reality is that violent crime and sexual assault against women happens everywhere, and every city still has a lot of work to do in preventing it.

What do you think of this list? Do any cities that are or are not on the list surprise you?

The post Do You Live In One Of America’s Most Dangerous Cities For Women? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

After viewing Mama Hope’s video, “Alex Presents Commando,” Gabriel, Benard, Brian and Derrik (the Kenyan men in this video) told us they wanted to make one that pokes fun at the way African men are portrayed in Hollywood films. They said, “If people believed only what they saw in movies, they would think we are all warlords who love violence.” They, like Mama Hope, are tired of the over-sensationalized, one-dimensional depictions of African men and the white savior messaging that permeates our media. They wanted to tell their own stories instead, so we handed them the mic and they made this video.

What do you think? Do you agree with their message?

The post Viral Video Calls Out Hollywood Stereotypes of African Men, Do You Agree With Their Message? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

But can what people post online be taken so seriously that its necessary to turn it into a full-on brawl? This was the case this past weekend in Sacramento, where a group of over 30 women gathered in the street over a scheduled showdown over “something” someone posted on Facebook — and only those involved even know what it was. According to one report:

It happened on Grand Avenue and Clay Street when police responded to reports of a large fight with women swinging fists and baseball bats. All suspects had fled by the time officers arrived.

“Two people really sustained major injuries,” Sacramento Police Sgt. Andrew Pettit said. “Those two people were reportedly hit with bats and they went to the hospital requiring stitches.”

Police say one of the women in the group broke a glass candleholder from a nearby memorial and used it as a weapon before heading into the convenience store.

“Two of the women came in here and bought drinks,” Patricia Brandon said. “They looked angry and tired, I guess from fighting.”

From the description of the incident, it sounds like the people who showed up were there for a main event of throwing down, what with ladies bringing beverages and basically turning it into a West Side Story type of war. People who are interested in such ugliness will always find a way to participate in some, and anyone who wants to swing a bat or break some glass will probably find a way to do so. But has the speed and ambiguity of what is said in writing created an atmosphere that makes extreme reactions easier? Are people taking the back and forth nature of social media too seriously?

What do you think?

The post Massive Brawl Breaks Out Over Facebook Posts, Are We Taking Social Media Too Seriously? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

I have a close friend who tried for years to conceive, and the process almost tore apart her marriage and relationships with those around her. As soon as she got married, people started asking “so, when are you going to pop out some babies?” Months and then years passed, and some relatives even acted impatient at the absence of a little one.

Little did they know, she was trying, but nothing was happening. None of the methods that doctors recommended worked, acupuncture and changes in diet were no help, and fertility treatments ranged from costly to out-of-the-question financially. Eventually she accepted that her family of two might be complete as it was, and stopped trying. She was heartbroken, but never open with most people about what was really going on because their responses usually broke her heart a little more.

As a friend trying to be supportive, I often fumbled for the right thing to say and put my foot in my mouth a few times. I learned that what seemed like consolation was often insulting. Our knee-jerk reactions to infertility problems often mirror those that we give after someone experiences a death, for example, “this must be God’s plan,” or “everything happens (or doesn’t happen) for a reason.” That stings, because the failure to get pregnant can feel like a death, and makes the person feel like they are for some reason doomed and helpless while other people are free to have children that they may not even want — all as part of “God’s plan.”

My friend was also tired of people immediately responding with a nervous combination of “well, my aunt went through the same thing and stop trying and *poof* she was pregnant!” and “maybe you should try this other thing you haven’t tried,” and “whatever you do don’t take drugs/have a test tube baby/use an egg donor,” and “you should just adopt.” Every infertile woman is trying every available option that makes sense for her already. Your ideas, although just trying to help, are usually not new to her. Even the subtle implication that an infertile friend has not considered all of her options stings even more.

I’m thankful that my friend had the patience to set me and a few of her closest friends straight, but it’s a shame that the selfish ones who only saw their advice being rejected or could only see their personal need to greet a new baby fell by the wayside in her life.

Has infertility affected you or someone you care about? How do you think we can best support and be supportive of this issue? Share your opinion in the comments!

The post National Infertility Week: How You Can Support a Friend Dealing With Infertility appeared first on Clutch Magazine.