Last night, the competitors, who have become good friends since appearing on the show together, had to put together a variety show and throw a party to benefit their respective charities with the help of the formerCelebrity Apprentice contestants. Although Clay actually raised almost twice as much as Arsenio during the challenge—$301,500 versus $167,100—the men were judged on more than the money. The party, PSA, and the variety show all went into the final choice and according to the Donald, Arsenio’s PSA was much more entertaining, though it was still a tough call.

“I’ve never been so torn,” Trump said before announcing Arsenio as the winner. “This is a very, very tough decision. You’re both amazing people. There is no loser tonight.”

When the announcement was made, the 56-year-old comedian didn’t do his customary fist pump, instead he put his head down on the table then raised his hand to the sky. I guess you can consider that a half pump without the “Whoo Whoo Whoo!” sound effects. It’s no secret Arsenio’s been wishing fo

r another crack at a TV show since he landed the gig on Apprentice. This win might secure his chance.

Raven is not the only celebrity whose private life has been speculated about like this.  Will Smith, Queen Latifah, and Anderson Cooper all face ongoing questions about their sexuality and all have refused to comment, preferring instead to keep their private life private.  A refusal to answer in the minds of many constitutes affirmation that one is indeed a member of the LGBTQ community.

These inquires arise because we live in a heterosexist world, which assumes everyone is straight, thus turning homosexuality into something that must be divulged.  If a celebrity plays a role in which they are a LGBTQ character, or sits too close to someone of the same sex, the rumors are off and flying. Will Smith didn’t even actually kiss his co-actor in Six Degrees of Separation and has been married to Jada for many years, yet still people continue to question his sexuality.

There can be no doubt that out celebrities serve as positive reminders that LGBTQ people are present in our society.  In the case of LGBTQ youth, this can be especially helpful because it shows them that they are not alone, and that they are not deviant.  The pressure for an individual celebrity to come out, however, normally has very little to do with affirming the life of LGBTQ people and very much to do with marking them as “other.”

One never has to disclose being heterosexual, or having an affair with a person of the opposite sex. This of course aligns with the fact that no one ever has to come out as straight because heterosexuality is assumed.  The speculation about sexuality goes above and beyond the typical curiosity that the public has about celebrities.  There are several celebrities who are out now, though coming out can have extreme consequences to one’s career.  The attention is not focused on them to the degree that it is focused on those who might potentially be gay.  Instead, out celebrities must deal with the doubt that they are capable of playing straight characters –  as Sean Hayes discovered –  though the process of acting means taking on a different persona.  Actor Rupert Everett claims to be happier than actors who are closeted, but he asserted in 2009, “It’s not that advisable to be honest. It’s not very easy. And, honestly, I would not advise any actor necessarily, if he was really thinking of his career, to come out …”

For LGBTQ people, coming out can be a powerful experience. Coming out means the end of the closet; however, it is worth noting that once out, many still have to struggle to stay out, due to homophobia.  In an ideal world, the process of coming out wouldn’t even exist, or it would be a process that all people have to deal with.  This conversation began with the rumours circulating around Raven Symoné’s sexuality, but the truth is, speculation about sexuality is an everyday phenomenon.  One need not be a celebrity for people to begin gossiping about your sexuality, as though this is anyone’s business in the first place.

The fact that we don’t gossip that someone might be straight, evidences exactly how deviant a queer sexuality is understood to be socially.  No matter how far we think we have come, the demand that someone must come out, or the suggestion that they are being dishonest by their refusal to address something that is no one’s business in the first place is highly problematic. The way the conversation is framed positions a LGBTQ identity as something that must be defended against, rather than a simple occurrence in nature.  As long as this is the dominate attitude about sexuality, then LGBTQ people will forever be positioned as “other.”

I completely support the way that Raven Symoné has handled questions about her sexuality.  She is one hundred percent right, this is indeed a matter that concerns only her and the person she is involved with.  Being a celebrity does not give the world the right to have access to the intimate details of one’s life. It shouldn’t matter whether she is gay, bisexual, or straight.  With all of the consequences that come with being gay in a heterosexist world, no one should be pressured to declare for the purposes of the public’s curiosity.

It seemed to be a strange thing to fight over.

But then I remembered that Pat Houston has a reality show coming out about the lives of the Houston family since Whitney’s passing. And suddenly, it all makes sense.

From MTV:

Titled “The Houston Family Chronicles,” the show will feature Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, and mother Cissy Houston, though the focus will be on The Bodyguard superstar’s brother Gary Houston and sister-in-law and manager Pat Houston, as well as their daughter, Rayah.

Houston’s cousin Dionne Warwick and Bobbie Kristina’s godmother, gospel legend CeCe Winans, will also appear in the series.

According to Lifetime, the reality show will focus on Pat and Gary “as they take on their greatest challenge, supporting and guiding Bobbi Kristina as she faces the world alone, without the one person she relied on the most, her mother.”

While every family is free to grieve in whatever way they feel fit, there’s something ghoulish about grief via reality TV.

The Houston family’s sudden move from the background in Whitney’s life to the limelight has shades of the most recent season of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The series went morbid late last year in the aftermath of cast member Taylor Armstrong’s husband’s suicide. Armstrong, who was a battered spouse, rounded out her public grief with a book tour.

And the Houston family has had their reputations rocked by reality TV before with the image tarnishing embarrassment that was Being Bobby Brown. The 2005 Bravo network show chronicled Houston’s then husband Bobby Brown and his children’s lives with a seemingly out-of-it Houston along for the ride. While highly rated, the show only lasted one season after Houston refused to appear in any more episodes.

Maybe the show will be a loving, comical, and career-boosting tribute, akin to what Braxton Family Values has been for singer Toni Braxton and her loving, bickering, then loving again sisters. But something about it makes me not want to trust it. Something about how for months since Houston’s death someone within the family has routinely leaked gossip to sites like TMZ about Houston’s mother Cissy’s reactions and Bobbi Kristina’s personal life. Houston’s death knocked down that last remaining wall of what was left of her personal life and made it public.

It reminds me of some of the messier aspects of Michael Jackson’s family. That for every member who sought to protect their brother and son’s legacy, there was father Joe Jackson, out on the eve of the funeral, show-boating his latest “act” for CNN. Then Jackson’s remaining brothers turned what was supposed to be a one-hour special about an upcoming tour into a reality show in the wake of Michael’s death.

It, like Being Bobby Brown, didn’t last.

I understand that Bobbi Kristina may want to sing. I can understand a family’s need to find ways to make money after the primary bread-winner is gone. I can understand grief. I don’t understand exploitation and fighting over who gets to accept tributes on the behalf of someone they all claimed to have loved dearly. I don’t understand exposing your grief, family stress and pain to public scrutiny. I don’t understand rushing into a spotlight that, in the end, contributed to the death of someone you held dear.

I don’t get it.

But I’m sure they’ll be happy to explain it all one night a week for Lifetime Television.

But hundreds of unanswered phone calls and dates that only I showed up for made that hard to believe. Still I knew that if I was patient and loved him hard enough that he would eventually change.

It took a phone call from the wife that he conveniently forgot to mention to make me realize that that probably wasn’t going to happen.

Many experiences (and a master’s degree) later, I’ve come to understand that my former lover, and those like him, are sociopaths: a unique breed of individual that is incapable of empathy or any other proper connection to other human beings.

Now when you think of the term “sociopath,” it might conjure up images of the lone stranger who gets off by dismembering people in his backyard. While this may be true, the term isn’t reserved for only felons and serial killers.

This is because the sociopath’s desire doesn’t have to be murder. Sometimes it’s money. Sometimes it’s sex. Sometimes it’s control. And while many people have these same aspirations, what makes a sociopath a sociopath is that they are more than willing to hurt someone to get what they want. So if your feelings or your well-being have to be sacrificed in order for them to achieve that need, that’s exactly what will have to happen.

They’re the man who sleeps with his partner just for her paycheck; the boyfriend that has sex with his girl’s sister, or even the husband that has managed to keep a secret, second family on the side. Most heartbreaking are the partners who think they can love or pray these individuals into being better people. But unfortunately, that’s simply not possible. Because unlike most people who suffer from some sort of mental disorder, sociopaths are perfectly happy being just the way they are. It’s the people that they come across who are miserable. So the only way to ensure that you’re not hurt by a sociopath is simple: stay away.

And what are the criteria for a diagnosable sociopath?

1. Unlawful Behavior
Sociopaths are arrogant creatures who often think they can operate above the law. Because of this, they may repeatedly perform criminal acts. However, because they are usually crafty and highly intelligent, they rarely get caught.

2. Deceitfulness
Lying! But not the random or compulsive variety. Sociopaths lie for a purpose, which usually includes some type of financial, sexual, or political gain. Lies may be grandiose in nature and are told as a vehicle of control.

3. Impulsivity
Sociopaths act on instinct and without thoroughly planning ahead. They may enter relationships quickly and passionately, but lose interest just as fast.

4. Aggressiveness
Sociopaths are usually easily irritated and may be prone to repeated physical fights.

5. Reckless Disregard
Sociopaths are likely to partake in risky, thrill seeking behaviors as they constantly need to be stimulated. In the context of relationships, this includes highly promiscuous sexual behavior usually without protection.

6. Irresponsibility
You know that person that can’t seem to hold down a job? Not because they’re lazy, but because they just don’t want to work? They may just be a sociopath that thinks they’re too good for a regular nine to five.

7. Lack of Remorse
Sociopaths don’t feel bad about anything. This includes not returning your calls or sleeping with your best friend. And to add insult to injury, sociopaths will come up with reasons to rationalize their messed up behavior. Her friend wanted me and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Right?

Bottom line is a sociopath has one concern: himself. And while they know their behavior is devastating to those around them, they’re charming enough to make sure that there are always people in their lives to take advantage of.

You just have to make sure you’re not one of them.

Let’s just let that idea marinate for a moment. Wendy Williams apparently hasn’t grown out of the thinking your mom tells you when you get picked on in school. “They’re just jealous”  may be the underlying reason people talk bad about you in some cases, but when it comes to Wendy going under the knife and rocking terrible wigs, I think not.

The outspoken talk show host just underwent a makeunder for XOJane.com and when the layers of makeup and hair were peeled back Wendy also revealed how she feels about people who speak badly about plastic surgery:

“They are jealous. Because if I said to that person, ‘I got the doctor and I’m going to pay for it. Choose three things you want to do,’ believe me, they would get it done. They are very jealous and scared. Scared of what their other friends would say, or to break out of the box and be different. And being black? Ugh, please. My people will not go for any kind of surgery. We are supposed to be natural. Ugh, whatever.”

Or maybe they are somehow comfortable in the skin that they’re in and don’t feel the need to have work done to be attractive. Maybe they recognize the psychological issues that are painted all over plastic surgery recipients faces when they spend more time recovering from procedures every year than living their lives. And please, scared to break out the box and be different? These days, you’re actually unique if you haven’t had work done—backroom butt injection procedures included. Maybe there are people in the world who don’t want to walk around with the same skinny, pointy-tipped snout every other celeb has after they have a nose job. I know it’s a novel idea, but there are some people who are okay with aging gracefully—and having facial expressions.

I also find her disgust at black women wanting to be natural pretty amusing—and inaccurate. Maybe we’re not going under the knife 24/7 but we still heavily buy into weaves and fake nails and all of those other non-natural beauty accessories. And for the ones who don’t, how that is a problem I don’t know, especially when she qualifies her wig wearing, saying:

“The reason I wear the wigs is because my hair is naturally thin. And I have thyroid disease which I was diagnosed with 12 years ago. And thyroid disease thins your natural hair and your eyebrows. It thins all of the hair on your body, along with giving you the eye pop and the scary stare. That’s why I wear wigs. Because the hair I would want is just not what is growing out of my head. If I was a librarian with a smaller personality, then I would keep the hair that I have.”

So basically she would be natural if she wasn’t in the spotlight—sounds like she’s the one who’s scared to be different. I honestly don’t think people—particularly black women, since she singled us out—spend as much time hating on her beauty choices as she thinks we do. We have far more important things to attend to so to her whole jealous, scared, dare to be different, yay for plastic surgery PSA I say, ugh, whatever.

Which to some means playing up Obama’s ties with his former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright. As Crystal Wright of the Conservative Black Chick blog told Fox News’ Gretchen Carlson Friday, Romney shouldn’t pass up any chance to “remind the American people what kind of character” Obama embodied as a member of Wright’s congregation.

And according to a New York Times report Thursday, the Ending Spending Action Fund — a Super PAC funded by billionaire Joe Ricketts – recently considered a proposal to revive the Wright controversy as a strategy to rebut Obama’s image as a “metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln”, but abandoned it, as the Fund’s president Brian Baker said Friday, after concluding that “the world is full of bad ideas” and “this was one of them.”

WATCH ’POLITICS NATION’ COVERAGE OF THE RICKETTS PLAN:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
But even if they’d wanted to run with the Wright issue, they’ve got another problem: Mitt Romney, the Republican presidential nominee, doesn’t want to go there, and distanced himself from any potential ad campaign about Wright by telling reporters that “I want to make it very clear that I repudiate that effort.”

Translation: he’s actually trying to win this thing.

Focusing on Wright is a political loser for Romney, who has presented himself to voters as a no-nonsense businessman; the Wright controversy only distracts from that message, even if that attitude might not be enough for Romney to satisfy the anti-Obama caucus.

(Continue Reading @ The Grio…)

About a week ago I ran into a familiar face. We instantly smiled and called each other by name. We told each other about the joy of life, but stopped mid catch-up. We couldn’t remember the last time we’d talked. There was a warmth and familiarity but we could not place how and why we knew each other. High school? Nope. Middle school? Nope. We didn’t live in the same area. “Wait,” we said simultaneously. “We were friends in like fourth grade,” I said in disbelief. I have trouble remembering names from last week, but here I was calling her by first and last in the middle of store. “Oh my goodness, we had Ms. Alexander together,” she laughed.

We chatted for a bit longer, but our rekindled friendship ended at the checkout line. We didn’t exchange Twitter handles, we won’t be checking each other’s Facebook to see what the other persons life is really like. It was actually pretty awesome to see that she was well. But, I also loved the ability to dig up those memories and leave then leave them in place. I’d actually like to run into more people. I think it’d be fun.

Are there any folks from your childhood with whom you’d like to play a quick game of catch-up?

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The jam came on the radio yesterday and I was blown. I’ve heard the song post childhood, but listening to the song as a twenty-something is completely different. Was this song not the soundtrack to a number for college relationships? Wouldn’t this song have been great to play in the background during a slew of “Think Like A Man” induced happy hour conversations? My goodness. I turned the volume up and jammed, laughing about how I should hit the homies with a Youtube link. We had no clue what we were talking about back then, but this song makes a hell of a lot of sense now.

Are there any songs that you loved when you were younger, but really understand or connect to now that you’re grown?

Photo via PACIFICCOASTNEWS

After garnering heavy criticism for the lack of diversity portrayed on the hit HBO dramedy Girls, it looks like the show may be gearing up to add a splash of color to its cast. Currently, Girls is filming its second season in New York City and from the looks of a few on-set snapshots, Donald Glover might just be making an appearance.

Recently, Lena Dunham discussed the show’s lack of diversity on NPR’s Fresh Air. According to Dunham, the fact that the show’s characters are all-white happened by accident.

She explained:

“I really wrote the show from a gut-level place, and each character was a piece of me or based on someone close to me. And only later did I realize that it was four white girls. As much as I can say it was an accident, it was only later as the criticism came out, I thought, ‘I hear this and I want to respond to it.’ And this is a hard issue to speak to because all I want to do is sound sensitive and not say anything that will horrify anyone or make them feel more isolated, but I did write something that was super-specific to my experience, and I always want to avoid rendering an experience I can’t speak to accurately.”

Although Dunham said she was merely writing the first season based on her experiences, she promises the second season will include a more diverse cast.

“Now we have the opportunity to do a second season and, believe me, that will be remedied,” Dunham told Fresh Air. “I’m really excited to introduce new characters into the world of the show. Some of them are great actors of color.”

Could Donald Glover be one of them? I’ll guess we’ll just have to wait and see.