Tracee Ellis Ross recently made a plea for natural women to love their hair, no matter the texture. Though her loose curl pattern has been idealized by many in the natural community, she asks for women to embrace their coils and kinks and not try to emulate a different texture.

However noble, her call to action is antithetical to the message many natural hair brands put out there. Most companies sell their curl defining creme, pomade, leave-in conditioner and gel with the promise of transforming tight coils to loose, long curls.

Miss Jessie’s actually promoted the slogan “turning kinks into curls,” and still markets one of their best-selling products as a miracle worker that “transforms shrunken kinks to super shiny stretched out curls.”

Some of these same companies regularly cast natural hair models with afros that resemble Tracee Ellis Ross’ hair: loose, defined and curly, as opposed to kinky. After her role as spokesperson for Carol’s Daughter came to an end, Solange Knowles gave this weighted statement: “I was constantly fighting for the right message to be heard. The message that the way we wear our hair is a personal choice, there’s no right or wrong way.”

Companies greatly benefit from pushing a “right way” to look, whether the idealized beauty standard is thinness, pale skin, blonde hair, straight hair or loose curls. If they promote the message that one look is favorable, women will spend billions trying to transform their appearance to fit that standard.

It’s a strategy that has pushed the beauty industry forward for years, and some natural hair brands are cashing in on it by promoting curlism. Tracee Ellis Ross’ wish has a much better chance of coming to fruition if various leaders in the natural hair community — from product companies to celebrities like herself — embrace various textures rather than putting one on a pedestal and telling women to shop to attain it.

The post Do Natural Hair Brands Profit Off of the Obsession with Looser Curl Patterns? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Rapper Ludacris’ girlfriend, Eudoxie, published a controversial picture on Instagram of a charitable act: gifting dolls to children in need. The problem? The children are African and the dolls are all white.

With all the articles, books and studies about how children are affected by dolls that don’t reflect their appearance, many feel Eudoxie should’ve known better than to give white dolls to children in Gabon. Commenters said as much on her Instagram page, and Eudoxie did not mince her words in her response to them:

Well, then!

Does she have a point? Is it valid to criticize the race of the dolls she gifts to African children?

The post Eudoxie Draws Criticism For Gifting White Dolls to African Children appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Wednesday has arrived. Bring on the midweek slump. We’re closer to the end of the work week than we were on Monday, but Friday still alludes. Hump Day, as Wednesday is often referred to, can be draining as worker bees and queen hustlers attempt to make it over the midweek molehill. Some weeks seem longer and more-draining than others. But no matter how difficult it’s been, breezing past the Wednesday blues make the difference between a dreadful or a positive Thursday.

Happier, an organization that collects moments to boost the spirits of its users, found its workers were less energized on Wednesdays. Cofounder and chief happiness officer, Nataly Hogan, noticed the impact midweek slumps had on her colleagues and the overall morale of the office. So she devised a plan to fix it.

Hogan established Happier Hour, a break at 4:30 p.m. on Wednesdays. The team shuts down their computers and convenes under a neon sign to laugh, drink and converse about all things unrelated to work.

She sees the happiness of the employees as inextricable from the success of the company. “The team gets to a different level of honesty and trust during that time, so it’s a really a great informal feedback mechanism,” she explained.

It also boosts productivity. “I think switching off your brain from what you doing for an hour or so really helps you refocus,” she said. “So to be able to mix some social time at work with your colleagues with a productive environment I think is really special.”

Unfortunately, we don’t all work for companies as unconventional as Happier. Fast Company, a tech magazine with a keen focus on revolutionary workplaces, offers four tips for those dragging through the week without a Happier Hour or similar reprieve.

Change how you deal with Wednesdays.

Instead of thinking about Wednesday as a day to struggle through, think of it as a chance to take a little break, catch your breath and refocus on your goals. When planned properly, Wednesday is a great mid-way point and the perfect day to touch base with others and get motivated.

Take a break.

If you struggle with the mid-week slump, plan a lunch meeting or a career building activity. Schedule in a break for yourself and use the time to do things that make you feel enthusiastic.

Focus on other career building activities.

If you are looking for a job or trying to get to the next level in your career, use your Wednesday afternoons for career building activities like networking, going on informational interviews or having a catch up meeting with colleagues. It might seem like you’re being lazy, but these activities are a great way to get a new burst of energy.

Put a sticker on your calendar.

Sometimes, it’s the little things we do that can make the biggest difference. Try putting a silly sticker on your calendar every Wednesday. It’s a small thing, but every time you check your schedule, you’ll smile a little and it’s that small little change that will keep you feeling enthusiastic.

How do you get past your midweek slump Clutchettes?

The post Pulling Through the Midweek Slump appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Anyways, just in time for your post-Father’s Day bottled up emotions hangover, I’ve recently been contemplating the effect, if any, my dad’s extended stay in the Absentia Motel has had on my sexual proclivities.

Have I been naughty or nice this Father’s Day?

Wait, everyone’s doesn’t do this? Tell that to the good folks at Texas Christian University, who administered some whackadoo psych test on a group of female undergrads that attempted to gauge whether or not feeling some kind of way about your dad disappointing you somehow hard-wires your hoo-ha for happy times.

According to Slate’s explanation of the science, “Researchers found that students primed to think about paternal disappointment were more likely than those primed to think about paternal support to complete the word stems in a sexualized way (SEX for S_X, NAKED for _AK_D) and more likely to reveal sexually permissive attitudes on the questionnaire.”

I had to read that several times to get it myself. Basically if your dad was a deadbeat then you’re allegedly more likely to have fewer boundaries when it comes to sex, or, re-stated in Mean Girl English, you’re a slut.

Obviously the study and research and so forth are all sort of bogus, as most of the smart women who analyzed this breaking news have already pointed out. The sample size was too small and too homogeneous. The crowd was mostly religious, which could easily affect subjects’ perception. Not to mention the fact that someone thinking about the warm and fuzzies they got skeet shooting with dad might not be able to immediately switch gears and start thinking about that other kind of skeeting. Because gross.

But beyond this study’s glaringly obvious overreach, I’ve often contemplated how my father’s habitual disappointment has affected my sexual resume. Doing my own mental and totally anecdotal survey, I would say most young girls fall on either side of the Serena van der Woodsen scale of “daddy issues.”

For every girl who sought sexual attention from guys because their father wasn’t around to do whatever dads do, I know a ton (myself included) who were so afraid of male attention, seeing as how foreign it was, that they avoided it at all costs.

Boys scared the shit out of me in high school. I was fascinated by their every move, naturally, but the idea of being alone with one of them made my tummy hurt. So I made it a point to never let that happen. I didn’t kiss a boy until the 11th grade. And I HAD boyfriends before that. My prom night was spent watching a re-run of “Grease.” And you know who didn’t give me “the talk” about boys and how they’re only after one thing? My dad. But I got it. I figured as much. I mean just look how he turned out.

So yeah that was a long preamble to a question. I’m going to go out on a limb and say we’re just a smidge more diverse than a “random” sampling of girls hanging around a religious college’s campus, so we might be doing science a huge favor. Is your dad awesome? Is your dad whack? And how, if at all, do you think that’s affected your sexy times?

This post originally appeared on XOJane. Republished with permission. Click here for more
Helena on XOJane!

The post OPEN THREAD: Did Your Dad’s Absence Make You A Slut? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Awkward and unsettling, right? I share this story with you—which is a composite I collected from a few friends—because it’s been brought to my attention that an anti-condom trend is rearing its ugly head out there in Singleland. When I took a poll of single women, many said their recent partners had been more than willing to sheath the sword. But an unsettling number said that they’d been pressured to throw down sans protection. Some split. Some went for it.

This might come as a shocker to most guys: Women hate condoms, too! We think they feel weird and clinical! For this reason, it is particularly hard to be put in the position of “policewoman” in the bedroom. Still, we know we have to because, well, STDs and accidental pregnancies are scary. Condom etiquette is something that single women don’t discuss nearly enough. If we are being put in this position—even occasionally—we need some open dialogue to take some of the awkwardness and confusion out of these situations. So, we have for you our eight condom commandments. No matter what your views are about casual sex, dating, or relationships, it’s important to know where you stand on condoms before the moment “arises.”

1. If you’re thinking about sleeping with someone, and they haven’t brought up the condom issue yet, what are you waiting for? Speak up. Let them know your deal. Ask about recent STD testing and tell them if you’re on birth control or not. Even if it kills the moment. It’s really important.
2. Always keep condoms at home and in your purse, should you need them in a sticky situation. Better to be safe than sorry. It is not the guy’s responsibility to make sure he has condoms. It takes two, baby.
3. Make sure he pulls the condom out properly after sex to prevent spillage. Yes, you need to be aware of this as well. Help the fellow out. And you can’t flush that bad boy down the toilet. Wrap it up in tissue, and put it in the trash.
4. If a condom breaks, both partners should wash themselves with soap and water. If the breakage is discovered after ejaculation, having a separate spermicide handy to apply may help. Go to the doctor as soon as possible for emergency contraception and/or STD testing.
5. Always use a condom with one-night stands, hookups, or people you are dating non-exclusively. Even if you are on birth control. This is non-negotiable. Don’t get carried away in the moment. Remember the anxiety and stress you may feel in the coming days. It’s not worth it. Even if a man promises not to come inside you, tell him: “No, you won’t do anything inside of me.”
6. If you are dating someone exclusively or you’re in a long-term relationship, get tested together after three months, and then make a mutual decision about birth control.
7. You can never be too careful. Many women have expressed regret over not using a condom even while in a committed relationship after they found out their partner cheated.
8. Insert (no pun intended) your own rules here.

What are your rules for condom etiquette? How have you handled awkward condom situations?
This post originally appeared on The Frisky. Republished with permission.

The post 8 Condom Commandments appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Port Magazine

Port Magazine’s cover is a visual representation of an eternal problem. The magazine business is dominated by white men, except at niche publications like Essence, Cosmopolitan and Vogue.

Port’s editor-in-chief, Dan Crowe, a white male maintains the whitewashing of the cover was unintentional. In an interview with Gawker, Crowe claims Anna Wintour – the editor-in-chief of Vogue – declined an invitation to participate. When pushed on the lack of inclusivity in the issue, Crowe said “it is a shame there isn’t, for example, a gay person or a black woman editor in there, but unfortunately these are not the people editing these magazines.”

Despite his half-hearted effort to deflect blame, Crowe’s excuses highlight an issue often not discussed in the magazine business. Publications geared toward women, specifically women of color, are not considered “serious” or “thought-provoking” enough to be included in the new, golden age of publishing.

Crowe could’ve requested Amy DuBois-Barnett for the cover. She and her stellar team of editors have transformed Ebony Magazine from a dust-collecting publication to many women’s first choice. As Cosmopolitan editor-in-chief Joanna Coles points out, Crowe didn’t ask Janice Min, of the Hollywood Reporter, Foreign Policy’s Susan Glasser, and Gillian de Bono of the FT’s How to Spend It because “they were too busy editing to pull out the Thom Browne and pose for his cover.”

The American Society of Magazine Editors (ASME) supports this exclusion. The New Republic gathered statistics from ASME’s National Magazine Awards and found a startling trend.

The American Society of Magazine Editors (ASME)—the main organization for magazine journalists in the U.S.—has only regularly nominated women’s magazines at their annual National Magazine Awards (NMA) in a few writing categories over the past three decades: personal service, essays, and public interest. This represents only three writing categories out of a possible eight (going by 2013 categories—the writing awards aren’t exactly the same every year).

Not a single women’s magazine has been nominated for profile writing in more than a decade, while GQ and Esquire have received multiple nominations. (Men’s Journal even got one). What’s more, women’s magazines have received zero ASME nominations for reporting in the past 30 years and zero ASME nominations for fiction in the past 20 years. (This is not because women’s magazines weren’t publishing pieces that qualified in those categories; they were—more on that in a minute). And though Elle and Vogue both have excellent literary and film criticism, neither has received a nomination in the “essays and criticism” category in the past decade.1 (Neither have any other women’s magazines, by the way. You have to go back to 1999, when the now-defunct Mirabella got one.) While Elle got a nod for columns and commentary in 2013, no other women’s magazine had been nominated in the past decade in that category.

ASME’s chief executive Sid Holt doesn’t see the issue in this disproportion. “Literary journalism is not central to women’s magazines’ editorial mission—which is one reason these magazines are rarely nominated in these categories.” Glamour won magazine of the year in 2010, leading Holt to believe no bias is present. “There are far more judges from women’s magazines than from any other magazine category,” he said. “Women’s-magazine editors are assigned to every literary journalism judging group.”

In other words, the profiles of the Castros in Vogue isn’t as important to the magazine world as the hard-hitting reporting produced in GQ. It isn’t considered “serious journalism” when women produce the content for women’s magazines, but men write pieces about sex and shoes and their work is still valuable. It is still golden-age worthy. It still wins awards.

Some critics, including Longform founder Max Linsky, claim women’s magazines have sold their souls for larger circulation rates. Cosmopolitan has one of the highest circulation rates in the world, but meaty, fact-filled, resounding, in-depth pieces have been sacrificed for “10 ways to have sex backwards” fluff.

Linsky claims hard-hitting journalism isn’t engrained in women’s magazines. His Longform site curates investigative articles from a host of different publications. Since the site launched in 2010, it has been dominated by men’s magazines. The New Republic reports:

Elle makes a single appearance, Vogue makes two (one of which was a Joan Didion article from 1961), Marie Claire appears four times, and Cosmopolitan does not come up at all. By contrast, 111 different Esquire articles were flagged as worthy, as were 163 GQ articles. Longform co-founder Max Linsky explained the disparity to me this way. “My impression is that the 2k-word, general interest storytelling criteria does not often overlap with what women’s magazines publish. Part of that impression comes from how we find stories—for example, out of the thousands of submissions we’ve gotten over the last three years, only a handful have been for stories published in women’s magazines.”

Linsky puts his finger on the other possible issue (and perhaps the more troubling one, because there’s no one but the magazine’s themselves to blame): that women’s magazines don’t publish as much of the highbrow, meaty longform work and fiction. We crunched the available numbers in some recent issues of Harper’s Bazaar, and its longest features (excluding a “Greatest Hits” package) were still under 4,000 words.2 (Cosmo, it should be noted, ran a 5,000-word piece about domestic violence in its May issue.) By comparison, from 2006 to today, Esquire regularly published articles in the 5,000- to 8,000-word range. When it comes to subject matter, it is true that men’s magazines publish more stories about subjects of global import—fracking, Bin Laden, Benghazi—subjects you’d be hard pressed to find regularly in a women’s magazine.

Ebony is running a series on the plight of black males. Will it make Longform? It’s doubtful because despite the excuses, it’s clear magazines are a white, male club.

Don’t blame women for our own exclusion.

The post Dear Sexists, Women Magazines Offer Serious Journalism appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

In her opinion, it does — as long as we are willing to put in the work to make it happen. She writes:

“I believe true love is very real. The question is, are we prepared to CREATE it? Most of us are conditioned to believe that true love HAPPENS to us…effortlessly. My experience has been that romantic love happens effortlessly. The meeting of the eyes that lights you afire inside can happen without our consent, which could be the ENTRY point to true love or to a grand love affair that prepares you for the true love waiting in the wings.

Many of us have equated that intoxicating, romantic feeling to true love. But true love is not created only in the intoxicating romance. True love is mostly created in the troubles, storms, misunderstandings, and deceptions where love is no longer romantic but excruciating. Love is created in forgiveness and in the maturity of accepting the human nature of ourselves and our partner. If you can survive these stages through your fight and growth for love…then TRUE LOVE will reveal itself because it becomes the stuff that CREATES long lasting…true love.”

Do you agree with Jada’s thoughts on true love, Clutchettes? Is true love built through surviving both the good and bad times of a relationship or is it simply a figment of our imaginations?

The post Jada Pinkett Smith Asks ‘Is True Love Real?’ appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Award-winning journalist Michael Hastings died June 18th in a car crash in Los Angeles. He was 33. The celebrated reporter left an indelible mark on the journalism world, reminiscent of the scores of veterans that preceded him. Hastings was known for his hard-hitting, no-nonsense reporting that resulted in the 2010 resignation of Gen. Stanley McChrystal, the then-leader of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. His work at acclaimed publications like Newsweek, Buzz Feed and Rolling Stone drew readers into war zones and political debates with a persuasive imagery that few penmans achieve. Hastings was a gem.

Will Dana, Rolling Stone’s managing editor, sums up Hastings’ legacy best in his tribute to the fallen journalist.

“Great reporters exude a certain kind of electricity, the sense that there are stories burning inside them, and that there’s no higher calling or greater way to live life than to be always relentlessly trying to find and tell those stories. I’m sad that I’ll never get to publish all the great stories that he was going to write, and sad that he won’t be stopping by my office for any more short visits which would stretch for two or three completely engrossing hours. He will be missed.”

Hastings life has been memorialized through Twitter and a special five-minute segment on MSNBC’s The Rachel Maddow Show, an ode to the connections he established in the journalism business. It’s clear that his work will continue to breathe long after his remains have been interred; but the lives he’s touched in the short time he spent on Earth should prompt us all to consider the legacies we hope to leave behind.

Obituaries are morbid reminders of the finality of death. We will all have them. The question is whether it will be filled with the memories of a life well-lived or those of regret, of hesitance, of thinking too much and not fulfilling enough dreams. I was mortified when an eighth grade English professor assigned us the task of penning our own obituaries. “You all have greatness inside,” he told the stunned class. “Let it bleed on the page.” I bombed that assignment, too afraid of the imminent end to grasp the importance of the task.

We shouldn’t be shackled to the death that awaits us, but our obituaries must be something we should all consider, if for no other reason than to gauge what we’ve accomplished and if it will matter after we’re gone.

Dr. Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, never considered his death until he was reading the newspaper one morning and discovered his obituary inside. Nobel’s brother had died, but the newspaper mistakenly printed his obituary instead of his sibling’s.

The headline read, “The merchant of death is dead.” It continued:

“Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday.”

Noble was dissatisfied, realizing the legacy he would leave behind didn’t mirror his objectives for his life. Legend has it that stumbling on his obituary prompted the chemist to donate a portion of his estate to the establishment of the Nobel Foundation. He is no longer the merchant of death. Instead, the Nobel Foundation awards the Nobel Peace Prize to humanitarians around the world.

Seeing his obituary changed Noble’s legacy. Writing an obit gives us the opportunity to do as Noble did. Lifehack, a renowned digital publication that offers life-improvement tips, encourages all people to write two obituaries that answer several important questions.

Write an obituary as a true account of your life to date.  As an alternative, if you want to be more objective, you can ask a friend or family member who knows you well to do it for you. When it’s ready, look over your obituary and ask yourself questions such as the following:

If I died today, would I die happy?

Am I satisfied with the direction in which my life is headed?

Am I happy with the legacy that I’m creating?

What’s missing from my life?

What do I need to do in order for my obituary to be “complete?”

Then, write a fantasy obituary in which you write down all of the things you wish you had done with your life.  What does this exercise tell you? You’re not dead yet, so get out there and start making any changes that you need to so that you can “live up” to your fantasy obituary.

Hastings obit will be full of the love he left through his words. Shouldn’t we all strive to achieve the same?

Would you be satisfied with your legacy if you wrote a life-to-date obituary Clutchettes and gents?

The post Michael Hastings and the Importance of Writing Your Own Obituary appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

On their Facebook page, they share how hard they work to put together entertaining performances:

“Thanks for the support..we work very hard to get to where we are..sometimes day in and day out..long late night practices and even early morning practices..we have a passion for the art of DANCE, so no matter how we perform it..its our EXPRESSION OF ART”

What do you think about their moves? Do they got it?!

The post Thought You Were the Best Cheerleader Ever? Meet the Prancing Elites appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

I thought about how many times I’ve heard someone or something referred to as “the black” whatever” and why that is. Understandably, for so long, we’ve only had whites to look to as the standard of beauty, intellect and talent. We looked to those figures when our heroes were few, far and in between. Honestly, even when there were counterparts of African descent who were comparable or even better–Lena Horne or Jackie Robinson—the Frank Sinatras and Marilyn Monroes were still the mold.

In present day, it’s still happening. The list of African-Americans who compare themselves to white icons is endless, especially in pop culture and entertainment. Back in the Bad Boy era, Lil’ Kim often referred to herself as the “black Erica Kane,” the infamous and stylish diva on All My Children and Notorious B.I.G. dubbed himself the “black Frank White” after a fictitious drug lord in the film, King of New York.

Then there’s my favorite, which has been adopted by countless fashionistas/writers—“the black Carrie Bradshaw,” after Candace Bushnell’s golden girl in Sex and the City. Even one of the most prestigious HBCUs, Howard University, which has a laundry list of bragging rights, including graduating some of the most notable African-Americans of our time, is unofficially coined the “black Harvard” by some alumni.

I don’t like it. It gives the impression that we want to be someone or something else.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a white woman refer to herself as “the white Oprah,” or the “white Beyonce’.” In fact, they’re doing just the opposite. Take Miley Cyrus, who’s been in the media lately for her “ratchet” antics, as an example. As Clutch recently reported, Miley rejected a Billboard critic’s moniker as “the white Nicki Minaj” after twerking her way back into relevancy. She responded, “A lot of people wanted to try to make me the white Nicki Minaj. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I love ‘hood’ music, but my talent is as a singer.” Umm, okay, Miley. I’m sure she was thinking “why be the white Nicki when I can just be the white me? I’m enough.”

There’s a popular joke from Chris Rock’s classic standup, Bigger and Blacker, where he says a poor white man wouldn’t trade places with him because he’s African-American, even though he’s wealthy. “There’s a one-legged busboy in here right now that’s going, ‘I don’t want to change. I’m gonna ride this white thing out and see where it takes me.’”

Rock was jokingly referring to “white privilege,” the latest discussion topic for thought leaders and social media intellects. This concept suggests that a person gets points just for being whoever they are, a particular gender and/or race.

Regardless of these so-called privileges, it’s time out for us to focus more on what we do, rather than look to others as the blueprint. We are no longer in the shadows of others. Referring to ourselves as the black anything only devalues our own accomplishments and worth. Sure, it’s easy to tack black onto the front a well-known name because that person may be the mainstream point of reference, but we have skills, experience and expertise strong enough to stand alone. We can be our own brand without having to lean on what others have achieved.

The post The Black *Insert White Name Here* appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

In a recent chat with VladTV, outspoken radio host Charlamagne tha God called Kanye West out for being a walking contradiction and a “fake revolutionary for profit.”

Criticizing West for the tone of his latest album “Yeezus” which denounces capitalism and celebrity while its creator blatantly indulges in it, Charlamagne takes Ye to task for calling himself a “New Slave” while having free will to choose how he navigates the world.

“To say you’re a new slave because you decided you wanted to be a rapper, you decided you wanted to go out there and get a record deal and sign to a major label, you decided to get into business with Nike…you decided that,” the Breakfast Club host explained. “So how are you are slave? You got free will. Freedom of choice. So you’re telling me you chose to be a slave?”

Charlamagne isn’t Yeezy’s only critic. While several music insiders have lauded “Yeezus” for being daring and creative, others aren’t buying the angst-filled album Ye is selling.

Mark Beech of Bloomberg writes:

“West isn’t Jesus, perhaps not even a music deity to his fans any more. He certainly isn’t Public Enemy or Jay-Z, or as good as them. This CD is nowhere near his best.

It pushes X-rated hip-hop bragging off the scale with its abrasive beats. This driving industrial music is not so radio-friendly: Think Nine Inch Nails mixed with Nirvana or Radiohead at its most experimental.

West has repeatedly stated he is being ironic and is misunderstood. He has nobody but himself to blame with efforts like “New Slaves.”

The lyric goes: “f*** you and your Hampton house/ I’ll f*** your Hampton spouse/ c*** on her Hampton blouse/ and in her Hampton mouth/ Y’all ’bout to turn s*** up/ I’m ’bout to tear s*** down/ I’m ’bout to air s*** out/ Now what the f*** they gon’ say now?” Oh, just shut up. Rating: No stars.

After 40 minutes of this fantasizing, it’s good to turn to rock that’s more rewarding and by people who actually have brains that they use.

Since he burst on the scene, West has seemed to grapple with balancing his need to drop thoughtful lyrics with his relentless pursuit of draping himself in all of the trappings of success (cars, clothes, and cash).

Ye addressed this seeming contradiction on “All Falls Down:”

I say fuck the police, thats how I treat em/
We buy our way out of jail, but we can’t buy freedom/
We’ll buy a lot of clothes when we don’t really need em/
Things we buy to cover up what’s inside/
Cause they make us hate ourself and love they wealth/
That’s why shortys hollering “where the ballas’ at?”/
Drug dealer buy Jordans, crackhead buy crack/
And a white man get paid off of all of that/
But I ain’t even gon act holier than thou/
Cause fuck it, I went to Jacob with 25 thou/
Before I had a house and I’d do it again/
Cause I wanna be on 106 and Park pushing a Benz/
I wanna act ballerific like it’s all terrific/
I got a couple past due bills, I won’t get specific/
I got a problem with spending before I get it/
We all self conscious I’m just the first to admit it/

Does Kanye’s inability to truly pick a side make him a hypocrite, as Charlamagne asserts, or merely human?

The post Is Kanye West Just A ‘Fake Revolutionary For Profit’? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

The Steubenville case is mentioned on broadcast news while Williams’ is lounging in a pedicure chair. The No. 1 ranked tennis pro first questioned the convictions of Ma’lik Richmond and Trent Mays before wondering if the victim could’ve prevented her assault.

“Do you think it was fair, what they got? They did something stupid, but I don’t know,” Williams said. “I’m not blaming the girl, but if you’re a 16-year-old and you’re drunk like that, your parents should teach you: Don’t take drinks from other people. She’s 16, why was she that drunk where she doesn’t remember? It could have been much worse. She’s lucky. Obviously, I don’t know, maybe she wasn’t a virgin, but she shouldn’t have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that’s different.”

No Serena, it isn’t different. Rapists rape because they’re rapists. The virtue of the victim will not keep a rapist from raping. Trading mini-skirts for sweatpants will not keep a rapist from raping. Placing the onus of rape on survivors reinforces the thought that victims can prevent their assaults.

Williams’ gift and curse is her visible platform. Critics and women’s rights advocates will bombard her with criticism for empathizing with the perpetrators, but her words echo the mindset of thousands of other women commenting on Steubenville and similar rape cases. Rape culture permeates social institutions from education to politics and law, so it’s unsurprising that Williams is ensnared in it. This is a teachable moment that can prevent future victim-blaming.

Avoid the automatic impulse to fault the woman by following these simple steps:

• Hold rapists responsible for raping. Don’t make excuses for their behaviors and don’t condone the gray area of consent.

• Don’t tell women to avoid rape or offer safety tips. Excessive drinking and short-skirts is not permission to rape.

• Don’t ever imply that a victim is at fault for her own rape. Yes, common sense should tell a woman not to drink until she’s incapacitated. But even if a woman is drunk, a rapist doesn’t have permission to be intimate with her.

When all else fails, pass this popular poster on to the male friends, relatives and coworkers. Teach rapists not to rape. It’s that simple.

What other tips do you have to prevent victim-blaming, Clutchettes?

The post Serena and Steubenville: Three Tips to Avoid Victim-Blaming appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

The battle over Kim Kardashian and rapper Kanye West’s baby name has finally settled. Drumroll, please! The couple reportedly decided to name their daughter Kaidence Donda West.

Although no official statements or confirmations have been released about the meaning of the baby’s name, a quick analysis of the parents’ backgrounds suggests that their choice was not haphazardly selected.

The name begins with a “K”, which follows in the Kardashian family tradition of selecting a name that would begin with that letter. Additionally, Donda is the name of Kanye West’s mother, who passed away in 2007 after heart complications from cosmetic surgery. It is well-known that West was extremely close to his mother, who he wrote the song “Hey Mama” for. Lastly, the word “cadence” refers to a rhythmic sequence or flow of sounds in language.

Although the child’s name has not been confirmed, multiple reports share that the baby girl is healthy and stunning.

“The baby is beyond beautiful. Everything we expected … I’m so happy for the couple. I’m so excited for my best friend to have this amazing gift and for us to continue this journey together,” Socialite Brittny Gastineau told People magazine.

The post Kim and Kanye’s Baby Name Means More Than You Think appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Quvenzhané Wallis has joined the voice cast of Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet, an animated feature film written and directed by Roger Allers. The Prophet is a best-selling book that has sold more than 100 million copies since its publication in 1923. Wallis will work alongside big talents Salma Hayek and Liam Neeson. It is anticipated that the film will be completed by spring 2014.

Wallis is also slated to star in a re-make of the classic movie musical Annie, which will be produced by Will Smith and Jay-Z.

The post Quvenzhané Wallis Joins Voice Cast of ‘The Prophet’ appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Booties are now en vogue. After decades of women trying to hide their derriere, ass is now in style and it seems like everyone and their mama is engaging in a squat challenge to get their donk on point.

But some are taking their quest for a plumper rump to unhealthy levels, injeting cemet, silicone, and all manner of nasty chemicals into their backside just to have a video vixen-esque butt.

In a recent article for Ebony.com, Erika Nicole Kendall writes about the rising obsession getting a big ol’ butt…by any means necessary.

Kendall writes:

This isn’t about squats. It’s not about lunges. It’s not about working out, it’s not about being fit, and it might not even be about – dare I say it – men.

What is so promising about a big booty that it would encourage an almost-30-year-old-woman to risk abandoning her 2 adolescent daughters? What is so important about having junk in the trunk, that a woman would allow industrial-grade silicone to sit inside of her for five years – causing her, in her own words, “excruciating pain” – instead of having it taken out immediately before it caused her to lose all of her limbs?

When you hear the story of 39-year-old Natasha Stewart – alias Pebbelz da Model – who not only lied for years about having had booty injections… not only went on to continue lying about having injections while being paid to give injections to others… but was arrested for homicide for killing someone by injecting them with concrete? What in the world are we supposed to think? What are we supposed to do?

While there will always be people with a distorted view of their bodies, our culture’s current obsession with a woman’s hindparts is troubling.

The porn industry, strip clubs, and raunchy videos have tricked some into thinking unusually fat asses are the norm, and sadly some people are risking life and limb to live up to the fantasy.

If you want a larger butt, here’s my advice: hit the gym, do some squats, lift weights, and smile.

That’s it.

The post Forget the Big Butt, Just Smile appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Nearly a year after the very public end of Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada and ex-NFL player Chad Johnson’s marriage, images of Lozada’s wounds from the domestic violence incident that brought their marriage to a halt were released by TMZ.

The gruesome images, taken by Florida police, show a three-inch gash on Lozada’s forehead and bruising around her eye.

The pictures surfaced just a day after Johnson was released from jail for playfully slapping his lawyer on the butt during a probation hearing.

Neither Lozada or Johnson commented on the images, but the ex-pro football star appeared on Good Morning America on Tuesday to discuss his ordeal.

During the interview, Johnson told Robin Roberts that his brief stint in jail was “the best things that could happen”  to him because it fored him to “sit down and think about life.”

He also admitted that his inability to control his anger that evening led to losing the two things he loved: football and his wife.

“Usually, situations like this break people…and I wouldn’t allow anything to break me. So I tried to continue to be my same positive self.  And I think with me being Chad it kind of made the judge feel that I wasn’t being serious about the situation but, trust me, I understood exactly what I did. And I lost two of the things in life that I love the most at the time. Football and my now, then beautiful, I did say beautiful, ex-wife.”

Chad says he’d like a second chance to fix his ailing football career, but even before this incident his future was in doubt, so it remains to be seen whether or not he’ll be picked up by an NFL team.

Now that the images have been released I wonder if those  people who were quick to blame Evelyn or insinuate she deserved to be injured based on her on-camera bad behavior will change their tune.

What do you think, Clutchettes? 

The post Pictures of Evelyn Lozada’s Wounds Leaked by TMZ + Chad Johnson Speaks Out appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Rania Al Abdullah, Queen of Jordan,

Rania Al Abdullah is the beloved Queen of Jordan. The outspoken critic of honor killings has championed women and children’s rights on the board of the United Nations and through her highly-visible platform. This week, Al Abdullah penned a beautiful letter to girls around the world. It was her contribution to CNN’s “Girls Rising” project.

Her missive encourages girls to renounce gender roles and forge a path toward their life’s purpose. The letter reads in part:

Some of you will be familiar with the childhood rhyme, “What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice, that’s what little girls are made of.”

Marketing and stereotyping combine to have us believe that you’re also made of pink dresses, pigtails, dolls, ringlets, ribbons, bows and tiaras. That you like cupcakes. That all you will want to be are wives and mothers. That you’re more “inclined” to the arts and “better suited” to caring professions like teaching and nursing.

And, maybe, that’s true for some. But my daughter Salma teaches me every day that there’s so much more to you — and for you.

Salma is 13, and I can count, on one hand (in fact, on one finger!), the occasions she’s worn a dress — and they’ve never been pink! Dolls always stayed on the shelf. She’s happiest dribbling a soccer ball past her brothers and scoring goals or building model airplanes with her father. She dreams of being an engineer. That’s my Salma; that’s why I love her.

So, when I think about girls rising, I think of girls like her and her sister, Iman. I think of the millions of courageous girls all over the Arab world and beyond who, every day, summon inner strength, surmount barriers and make a difference in their communities.

Al Abdullah also urges powerful women to mentor girls, so they can see what women are capable of. Her concluding sentence is poignant and captures the spirit of the Girls Rising campaign: “If one girl with courage is a revolution, imagine what feats we can achieve together.”

The queen’s letter is addressed to girls around the world, but it is catered to those of the Middle East. Al Abdullah’s words prompt me to consider the plight of girls of color in black bodies.

The woes that face the Quvenzhané’s and other black girls differ from the plights of girls in the Middle East. Little black girls must exist in a world that undervalues them and renders their pain invisible.

I offer this for those little black girls:

Dear little black girl,

You are amazing. There will be times when those words will seem like a lie. You live in a world where sometimes you’re not enough. You’re not intelligent enough. You’re not worthy enough of accurate media images. You’re not pretty enough to be loved, valued and appreciated. None of that is true. You hail from the lineage of queens. You are enough.

You are enough.

You are enough.

You are enough.

And whenever that’s in doubt, there are legions of women that will affirm and uplift you because we’ve also been little black girls. We know the pain. We see it, recognize it and will offer enough love to heal it.

You are enough.

United in love and sisterhood,

Evette

Chime in Clutchettes. What would you write to little black girls?

The post Letters from a Queen: What Would You Write to Little Black Girls? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Take this weekend. I’d been messaging for a couple days with a guy from an online dating website. Let’s call him Empty Profile. We’re calling him that because he had a mostly empty profile. He wrote a few brief lines about himself, which didn’t reveal much, but he did post several pictures of himself. We flirted back and forth and Empty Profile eventually asked me if I wanted to get drinks on Saturday night.

I said yes. But as it got closer to Saturday night, I felt uncomfortable that I didn’t know anything about Empty Profile. I’m not suggesting he’s the Cannibal Cop, but I only knew his name and what he looked like, and had just a vague idea about the industry he worked in. It also occurred to me that I didn’t know why he wanted to meet up with me. Did we have anything in common? Obviously he must have thought I was attractive in some way to ask me out, but most men from online dating usually give an explanation of why they want to meet, like, “I want to get your thoughts on that documentary!” or “There’s a pulled pork sandwich you have to try!”  Online dating is not just about randomly meeting up with strangers without any context.

So I asked him, point blank, what he liked about my profile. Easy enough question, right? But Empty Profile’s response to that question, honestly, made me feel even weirder. He told me he “didn’t pay attention” to my profile. He said that he wanted to meet up in person to see if we had chemistry.

Okay, I get it, chemistry is important. But it seemed like he was suggesting he either didn’t read my profile or didn’t care what was in it, which, again, made it seem even more like we may not have anything in common. Empty Profile really was a mystery to me. And I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable about it; I was badnervous, not good nervous..

Saturday afternoon, I had plans to meet a bunch of girl friends at the pool. But worrying about the date with Empty Profile was lodged in my brain. I know myself and I know I would spend all afternoon fretting over the date, thus not having fun with my friends (or making sure they all had good time, since I was the one who invited everyone). This is stupid, I told myself. You don’t even know this guy. Just cancel. 

So I texted Empty Profile and messaged him on the online dating site to make sure he got the message somehow. “I’m sorry, but I’m having cold feet about tonight. I apologize for canceling,” I wrote. I figured it was short and sweet and polite.  I didn’t get into any complicated, tangible reason why I didn’t want to go on a first date because I didn’t have one.

I assumed he would respond the same way that I have responded when a dude has canceled or rescheduled a date or other dudes have responded to me when I’ve canceled or rescheduled a date: politely, respectfully, calmly.  What happened next genuinely surprised me.

“Grow up,” Empty Profile wrote back on the online dating site. That’s it. Grow up.

It’s an interesting thing, the phrase “grow up.” It’s a phrase that comes from a place of feeling powerless that is said to imply the person with more power is being immature for exercising it. It implies that saying no, saying “this is not okay with me,” or setting up a boundary is childish. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Actually, asserting what you want or what you are comfortable with is actually very mature.

But that’s not all. Empty Profile then sent me a barrage of text messages. And I mean a barrage.

You strung me along?

Now you glibly cite cold feet?

Well I’m glad I kept my schedule open for you. You certainly deserve someone chivalrous since you clearly represent the other side of that equation.

Good thing you put some thought into your carefully worded profile!

Um ….

I didn’t text back to any of his texts; clearly, Empty Profile was spoiling for a fight.  Instead, I just felt enormously relieved. Really, really relieved. If this was how a man I had never met reacted to my canceling a first date — which, for all he knew, could have been because there was a death in the family or something — how would he have reacted if I said “no” to something else?

Look, I understand it hurts to be rejected or to feel like you are being rejected (even though you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes). I’ve been rejected before, too, and it does make me feel temporarily angry or annoyed at the person. It’s always a blow to my  ego, as well. But ultimately, I’m grateful the person was honest with me.I  Lashing out at someone who rejects you says a lot more about you than it does about it the other person. Everything about Empty Profile’s  personal attack-ish response made me feel relieved that I wasn’t going to spend my evening with this guy.

I truly do believe that relief is a telling emotion.  I now know I’d been right to listen to my instincts. My intuition was telling me there was something weird about this guy: his empty profile, his weird response to my question about mine. Now I know that when he feels hurt, he lashes out at people personally (including, apparently, implying that some women “deserve” chivalry while others don’t). Men like Empty Profile make women like me bitter about online dating. And I’m sure women like me — you know, ones who assert themselves — make men like Empty Profile more crazy.

It’s a jungle out there, folks.

This post originally appeared on The Frisky. Republished with permission.

The post Girl Talk: It Says A Lot About A Man If He Can’t Handle Rejection appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Spiritual leader Deepak Chopra offers this:

All day long our mind spins stories about our work, our health, our finances, our family, or that funny look the store clerk gave us. Often we’re not even conscious of the internal soundtrack unspooling in our mind and yet it is the greatest source of stress in our lives. Although the mind is capable of creating life-affirming stories, it has what neuroscientists refer to as a negativity bias, a tendency to pay more attention to negative experiences than to positive ones.

Meditation combats our internal negativity bias by quelling our thoughts, releasing our stresses and fostering awareness of the present moment. It is relaxing to sit in silence, not worried about the car note or the dishes piling in the sink. The peace that surpasses all understanding also has tangible health benefits, including decreased blood pressure, lowered cholesterol levels and improved immune function, according to Chopra.

Finding the time and space to meditate prevents many people from engaging in the practice, but beginning is the first step toward mastering the art.

Todd Goldfarb, a life coach, offers 20 tips for meditation beginners, but here are the 10 most essential tips.

Meditate with purpose.

Beginners must understand that meditation is an active process. The art of focusing your attention to a single point is hard work, and you have to be purposefully engaged.

Stretch first.

Stretching loosens the muscles and tendons allowing you to sit (or lie) more comfortably. Additionally, stretching starts the process of “going inward” and brings added attention to the body.

Meditate early in the morning.

Without a doubt, early morning is an ideal time to practice: it is quieter, your mind is not filled with the usual clutter, and there is less chance you will be disturbed. Make it a habit to get up half an hour earlier to meditate.

Pick a specific room in your home to meditate.

Make sure it is not the same room where you do work, exercise, or sleep. Place candles and other spiritual paraphernalia in the room to help you feel at ease.

Make sure you will not be disturbed.

One of the biggest mistakes beginners make is not insuring peaceful practice conditions. If you have it in the back of your mind that the phone might ring, your kids might wake, or your coffee pot might whistle than you will not be able to attain a state of deep relaxation.

Be sure to experiment.

Although many of us think of effective meditation as a Yogi sitting cross-legged beneath a Bonzi tree, beginners should be more experimental and try different types of meditation. Try sitting, lying, eyes open, eyes closed, etc.

Do not stress.

This may be the most important tip for beginners, and the hardest to implement. No matter what happens during your meditation practice, do not stress about it. This includes being nervous before meditating and angry afterwards. Meditation is what it is, and just do the best you can at the time.

Be grateful at the end.

Once your practice is through, spend two-to-three minutes feeling appreciative of the opportunity to practice and your mind’s ability to focus.

Generate moments of awareness during the day.

Finding your breath and “being present” while not in formal practice is a wonderful way to evolve your meditation habits.

Commit for the long haul.

Meditation is a life-long practice, and you will benefit most by not examining the results of your daily practice. Just do the best you can every day, and then let it go.

Do you meditate Clutchettes? What other advice would you offer to beginners?

The post Communing with Peace: 10 Steps for Meditating appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Facebook offers a window into the turmoil of relationships, but the social network can also damage relationships since it opens the couple to external criticism. Doctoral students at the University of Missouri’s School of Journalism found that excessive Facebook users tend to have Facebook-related conflicts in their relationships. These issues lead to negative outcomes including divorces, break-ups and physical and emotional cheating.

Lead researcher Russell Clayton and his colleagues surveyed Facebook users between the ages of 18 and 82 to gauge their social-networking habits.

“Previous research has shown that the more a person in a romantic relationship uses Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor their partner’s Facebook activity more stringently, which can lead to feelings of jealousy,” Clayton said. “Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past partners.”

Some have witnessed or have experienced Facebook-related trauma in relationships. He likes pictures of other women, but doesn’t comment on his girlfriend’s newest profile picture. Argument. His ex-girlfriend likes 10 of his pictures. Fight. Those suspicions may seem trivial, but some couples have cause for concern

“Also, our study found that excessive Facebook users are more likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including previous partners, which may lead to emotional and physical cheating.”

The trend of Facebook-induced envy is prevalent in newer relationships.

“These findings held only for couples who had been in relationships of three years or less,” Clayton said. “This suggests that Facebook may be a threat to relationships that are not fully matured.”

Seasoned relationships seem less-affected by Facebook-conflict.

“Participants who have been in relationships for longer than three years may not use Facebook as often, or may have more matured relationships, and therefore Facebook use may not be a threat or concern,” Clayton explained.

The report, which will be published in the upcoming Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, recommends couples limit their personal Facebook use.

“Cutting back to moderate, healthy levels of Facebook usage could help reduce conflict, particularly for newer couples who are still learning about each other.”

Despite the findings, some don’t think Facebook is responsible for ending relationships. Andrea Syrtash, co-author of It’s okay to sleep with him on the first date and every other rule of dating debunked, doesn’t see social media as the reason relationships end.

“I don’t think we can blame Facebook for our relationships being ruined, but 1 in 5 people in a recent survey did blame the network,” Syrtash said. “It’s all about boundaries. You can use the network, but if you don’t have boundaries, then it will interfere with your love life.”

Syrtash credits lack of trust for fueling Facebook-induced jealousy.

“I think if you think your partner is cheating, you will go to his email, is social networks, and you will find evidence,” Syrtash said. “But couples that have trust probably won’t find much if they open their partner’s account. It’s really based on your gut feeling.”

I have another solution: Don’t befriend your partner on Facebook.

The post Facebook and Relationships: Don’t Befriend Your Spouse appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

If you were in the room with us, you may have thought, “Well Candace, why would you feel so offended? It’s not like she is talking about you behind your back. She was in front of you after all.”

I wasn’t trying to hold in my rage. Rather, I took the course of passive-aggressiveness, but without the aggressiveness. I didn’t know whether to speak up or shut up, because the first thought in my mind was to run away from being branded as another paranoid Black person. But this was a case of mistaken identity — the co-worker who seemed quick to pin me with last night’s mail count responsibility turned to me and quickly realized that I was Candace and not Angela.*

I’m 5’10, slim, with shoulder-length black hair and brown eyes. I also happen to be a Black West Indian female with the need to watch “Pretty Little Liars” in real time. Do I really look like every Black female that you’ve ever come across?

Angela and I look nothing alike. She is slightly shorter than I am (5’7-5’8), a bit skinnier than I am, and we could not sound any more different on the phone. Yet every day, instead of using the manners that I assume their parents taught them, I am approached with a “Hi… Angela right?”, with my desk name tag right in front of them, or “Thanks Ange- I mean Candace, I’m sorry!”, peppered with an awkward giggle, or “I gave the documents to Candace and she told me that”, when the documents were really given to Angela instead.

I’ve been a victim of mistaken racial identity before. At that time, it was when I was more naïve, but not naïve enough to know about the underhand nature of undercover racism in a post-racial society.

During my junior prom I was surprised by Todd. Todd was a boy in my class who I barely said two words to, and vice versa. Yet, he saw the back of me and lightly grabbed my arm only to realize that I was not his date as I turned around. He didn’t even say sorry! He just mumbled an “Oh, I’m…” and without a “sorry” to follow, went looking for his true date, who was only two feet away from him.

Dude, how did you not know what your date looked like?! We were both tall and Black, but that was it! Different hair, different skin tone, different ways of walking and talking, and different color and type of prom dress… those visual factors never tipped him off?

Years away from my junior prom, I am still dealing with being recognized as the other Black person in the room. It’s as though I never left college, where my Latina and Afro-Caribbean roommates and I would have heart-to-heart conversations about boys, music, class projects, and racism. I remember during those four years I became conscious of how everyone, Asian, Black, White, African, Indian, Jewish, Christian, etc. interacted with one another on campus.

I remember during my freshman year seeing a medium-sized group of White females walking towards the library all wearing the exact same Juicy Couture outfits and Tiffany bracelets, as I ironically felt insecure in my anonymity. I wondered how my non-Black peers might have thought about my friends and me as we walked among them. Were they even able to tell us apart, with our varying features and fashion sense? At least, there was a roll call in some of my college classes to help all of us distinguish ourselves from one another. Maybe there needs to be a daily roll call at work across the nation, because name tags are only for special occasions.

So, what do I do when faced with such disregard for remembering me? I just politely repeat my name, over and over again. It’s sad that I don’t expect anyone within a working environment to say “Hi! My name is so-and-so. What’s yours?” when they meet me for the first time. The unraveling of social mores and etiquette, which I have observed long before Twitter and Facebook arrived, has caused a sort of “know-it-all” disease. I don’t know if this disease started before the Britney Spears “Oops I Did It Again” era or within the early ‘aughts’.

But I do know that I’ve become a victim of it, having to remind others that I am not the other Black girl in the office who looks and sounds nothing like me. Don’t even get me started on my having to defend the spelling of my name, because my attention remains occupied from picking up after others’ rational laziness.

If you find yourself with some free time to mingle at work, or in a social situation, like your ten year high school reunion, show some compassion and get to know the person next to you, past their skin color. Ask them their name repeatedly until you have it memorized. Don’t worry about sounding like a scatterbrained chump. If you see a name tag on or near someone, look at it and ask questions, sometimes using the person’s name within the question itself. To assume that I, or any other person in the room, do not deserve a formal introduction where names are confirmed makes an ass out of u and me.

*Some names have been changed

This post originally appeared on XOJane. Republished with permission. Click here for more
Candace Smith on XOJane!

The post MY NAME IS CANDACE, And I’ve Had It With People Mistaking Me For Every Other Black Woman They Know appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Malcolm Brickhouse and Jared Dawkins aren’t your average Flatbush, Brooklyn pre-teens.  The music in their earbuds may not be the latest thing that Hot 97 is attempting to pass off as “music”, but a little bit closer to what’s played on  New York’s rock stations.

In 2007, at the age of 5, Malcolm and Jared formed their metal band “Tears of Blood”.  What first started out as a duo, has now been made into a trio. Their childhood friend, Alec Atkins is their new bass player. The boys say they draw inspiration from groups such as: Slipknot, Disturbed, Metallica, Escape the Fate, Motionless in White, and Chelsea Grin.

If you’re lucky enough you can catch them performing on the streets of New York City, but in a new documentary, “Unlocking The Truth – Malcolm Brickhouse & Jarad Dawkins”, you’re able to get a glimpse inside of their lives.

But where there’s success, there’s also “haters” and bullies.

Seriously, how can you actually hate on these kids? They’re a notch above awesome and haven’t even hit puberty yet.

But of course there are those kids who will find any reason to bully another.

“I know a lot of people doubt me,” Malcolm tells The Avant/Garde Diaries. “But then I really don’t listen to those people, because I know I’m going to be famous anyway.”

Haters gonna hate, but Jared knows what eventually happens to haters.

 ”Now I’m writing a book. The book is about people who are being bullied in school and they joined a band, and they have became rich and famous, and they toured all over the world. And people that judged them, they have became homeless. And it’s, like, based on a true story.”

I’m sure you’ll be hearing more from these kids, they don’t seem like they plan on being just an afterthought in the world of music. 

Unlocking The Truth – Malcolm Brickhouse & Jarad Dawkins from The Avant/Garde Diaries on Vimeo.

The post Pre-Teen Musicians On The Receiving End Of Bullying appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

One weekend passed. Then another. And another. Concerned friends forced me to eat, do homework and shower, but never mentioned his name or the unforeseen breakup.

Several weekends passed with no progress, but then it got better. I smiled again. I reclaimed the happiness I thought he had stolen. I decided it was time to erase him from my life, so I started in the first logical place: Facebook.

His relationship status screamed at me as I searched for the unfriend button his on profile. Ex boo-joint is in a relationship with someone who didn’t remotely resemble me. I immediately scoured his page, searching for a sign that she was present when we were still entangled. She was. I was devastated.

I asked him for answers and was prepared for the usual responses like I’m afraid of commitment or I need space or it’s not you, it’s me. Nothing could’ve readied me for his painful, succinct text messages.

“You’re too good for me. You have all of these big dreams and stuff going on. You’re going to outgrow me and resent me, so I’m ending it before we’re both too far gone to stop it.”

His response seemed like a camouflage, masking the real reason he ended our relationship. But as I reflected on our late-night conversations, I realized how silent he was as I spoke of building empires and earning other degrees. He was satisfied with his burgeoning rap career, but often struggled to book shows between restaurant gigs. I was comfortable with his level of ambition, but he was uncomfortable with mine.

I had become his back-pocket girl.

Back-pocket girl (noun): The woman he’ll settle with after he’s amassed a success similar to hers; the one he keeps in his back-pocket, in hopes that she’ll be there when he’s ready to remove her.

Many women have lived as back-pocket girls. It has no socioeconomic or degree perimeters and no level of success attached to it. Back-pocket girls have something that paradoxically draws men in and forces them out, leaving us with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and “Sex and the City” marathons.

Sometimes men will leave back-pocket girls for women with less – less ambition, less attraction, less common sense – but their decision speaks to their insecurities.

It might seem appealing to implement changes or hide whatever it is that drew him in and spit him out, but dumbing ourselves down to massage the ego of an insecure man is a disservice. Back-pocket girls deserve men that recognize their worth and are unafraid of rising to the challenge to meet it. We don’t exist as handkerchiefs, pulled out when a craving is in need of satisfying.

Back-pocket girls deserve men that bask in our essence instead of shrinking from it. It was a difficult lesson, but I’d learned it and would never settle for the back-pocket girl position again.

He called, almost nine months after he dumped me without warning or reason. The girl he’d left me for was unfaithful to him with her children’s father and he’d had an awakening. He sounded remorseful as he told me how wrong he’d been and how much he missed what we had.

I told him I was no longer available.

Have you ever been a back-pocket girl?

The post Curing the Age-Old Back-Pocket Girl Syndrome appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

One of the most fascinating, complex, revered figures of our generation, Nelson Mandela has a life story that profoundly speaks to unwavering courage, overwhelming compassion for people and the sheer tenacity of the human spirit. It’s a huge undertaking for any actor to capture Mandela onscreen yet Idris Elba seems poised to step up to the challenge.

The British actor was cast in the lead role of ‘Long Walk to Freedom,’ a film based on Mandela’s autobiography of the same name. The movie, which also stars Naomie Harris as Winnie, chronicles Nelson Mandela’s life from childhood to his election as the South African president.

From the look of the poster, which debuted on The Hollywood Reporter, ‘Long Walk to Freedom’ could be a memorable, compelling film featuring a breakthrough performance by Idris Elba. The producers are betting on it; it will be released in the United States on November 29th, which is optimal timing for awards consideration.

What do you think of this first look at Idris Elba as Nelson Mandela, Clutchettes? Do you have high hopes for the film?

Source

The post First Look: Idris Elba as Nelson Mandela appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

White feminists are an interesting bunch.  Actually, I think most people who label themselves “feminists” are, but that’s a different post for a different day.   The problem most women of color have with white feminists is the lack of intersectionality.  Sure, you can burn bras with your white feminist counterparts, but there’s always going to be an underlying issue.

White feminist still benefit from white privilege.

Black feminists? Privilege? What’s that?

Apparently there’s someone out there who understands these differences, but knows how to poke fun at them as well.   The person(s) behind the @WhiteFeminist Twitter account, is doing a great job at satire and realness, when it comes to white privilege and feminism.

Take a look at a few of most recent tweets:

Until YOU’VE spent a week befriending #AfricanVillagers, I don’t think it’s your place to lecture me about racial understanding #IGetIt

— White Feminist (@WhiteFeminist) June 11, 2013

Michelle Obama is #inspirational as a #WoC and #StrongBlackWoman but as #AnAlly, WF falls on the side of #TeamEllenSturtz. #GetEQUAL

— White Feminist (@WhiteFeminist) June 12, 2013

Beyoncés #misogynistic lyrics make me question her integrity as a feminist role model. I’d prefer someone a bit more empowering #LenaDunham

— White Feminist (@WhiteFeminist) June 10, 2013

#Tanning is evidence of why #colour shouldn’t matter. I literally am 2 shades darker and I don’t feel any more #oppressed than usual.

— White Feminist (@WhiteFeminist) June 1, 2013

I can’t say that I know too many white women who label themselves as a feminist, but these are pretty damn funny especially after reading about the issues women of color have with their white “sisters”.   I’m just going to wait for someone to create a male feminist parody account, another label  I find interesting.

The post A Satirical Look At White Feminism appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Wanetta Gibson, the woman who falsely accused Brian Banks of rape, is learning that lying really doesn’t pay, but it’ll actually cost her $2.6 million dollars. In 2007, Gibson was awarded a settlement by the Long Beach School District, after she said a lack of security led to her being raped by fellow student Banks.  Gibson later recanted the rape claim on tape, paving the way for Banks’ exoneration of the charge – however he had already served more than five years in prison.

That recantation also paved the way for the school district to seek compensation of the money they awarded her. According to the school district, the judgment recoups a $750,000 settlement paid to Gibson and also includes attorney’s fees, interest and $1 million in punitive damages.

Gibson was not present at the ruling and her whereabouts are unknown, per the Long Beach Press-Telegram, but the court gained authorization to recoup the money through her future wages and property. Once a court gains authorization for garnishments, it’s all downhill from there.

“The court recognizes that our school district was a victim in this case,” Long Beach Unified Superintendent Christopher J. Steinhauser said.

“This judgment demonstrates that when people attempt to defraud our school system, they will feel the full force of the law.”

Actually trying to recoup the money may not even happen. Apparently Gibson has several civil judgments already under her belt.  Also, according to news reports, Gibson and her children have received public assistance and she has been sued by the county for child support.

Gibson’s troubles may not end with just a wage garnishment.  She could also face fraud charges, depending upon the court’s opinion as to whether her 2012 recanting constitutes an admission of fraud. If the original accusation is the basis for such a charge, the three-year statute of limitations for fraud charges to be brought would void any such action.

In her video confession, when the money issue was brought up, she stated, “I don’t want to have to pay it back.” Well, it looks as though she’s gotten herself into a real pickle, a $2.6 million dollar pickle.

The post Brian Banks Accuser Order To Pay $2.6 Million To Long Beach School District appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

I’m currently going through a breakup. My days consist of dragging myself out of bed, eating chocolate, watching “Girlfriends” reruns and sympathizing with Joan, avoiding any and all pictures/movies/songs that might remind me of my ex-boyfriend and vacillating between crying uncontrollably and fighting back tears. You know, the normal stuff.

Along the way, I’ve read a couple of articles about “the best way to cope with a breakup” which make the case for not beating yourself up for mistakes and keeping busy. I’ve taken heed to my grandmother’s wise advice that getting over breakups takes time, and I’ve invited a couple friends over to talk about something, anything, besides men. They’re kind enough to check on me regularly.

While I’m pushing myself through the pain, the one lingering issue I can’t get over is that I miss him. And secretly, deep down, I suspect, if given the chance, I’d be happy and willing to rekindle our romance, even with the arguments, passive agressive jabs and neglect I complained about when we were together.

As it turns out, there’s a professional way to try and eradicate this feeling, and I’m not just talking about staining the pillows on your therapist’s couch with tears. Today, it was reported that Rihanna is checking herself into love rehab to get over her feelings for Chris Brown.

Whether these rumors are the work of an imaginative gossip columnist or the God’s honest truth, I still find the concept fascinating. According to Jezebel:

Rihanna is allegedly taking some time off from her Diamonds World Tour to check into a women’s sex and love addiction program at Centers for Relationship and Sexual Recovery (CRSR) on Recovery Ranch, a Tennessee facility.

A source says that she made the decision because she’s been pining for Chris Brown: “Rihanna is still desperately in love with Chris. It’s like she’s obsessed with him and, although he’s told her it’s over, she just can’t get over him. After talking it through with a psychotherapist, Rihanna is now considering doing a 12-step programme to get rid of her demons.”

A bit about the program, which is run like a standard substance abuse clinic. “The Ranch’s ‘Women’s Love and Sex Addiction Treatment Program’ helps women with issues with ”attracting troubled, addicted, abusive or otherwise emotionally unavailable partners” using treatments as varied as counseling and equine therapy.”

I have so many questions. Are there programs really successful in helping you get absolve all the feelings you have for an ex? Can you truly treat love and toxic relationships like a substance abuse problem? What do horses have to do with anything?

As skeptical as I am, I say more power to Rihanna for actively seeking out ways to better her emotional health. And at this point, I’m open to anything that doesn’t involve chocolate and sitcom reruns.

Would you ever give love rehab a try? What’s the best way to cope with a breakup?

-Raquel Wilkerson

The post Rihanna Allegedly Checks into Love Rehab: Why It Might Not Be Such a Bad Idea appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Bridget Kelly is extra busy these days whether it’s orchestrating Grammy award winning hits or opening up alongside the biggest names in music. Belting out vocals compared to that of Alicia Keys and Joss Stone, one thing BK is not is anyone’s stunt double.

The 27-year-old’s penchant for singing and songwriting has earned her a spot on the Roc Nation roster and legions of fans around the world. The New York native recently banded together with R&B legends, Mary J Blige and D’Angelo for the Liberation Tour that kicked off earlier this month.

When asked about her excitement to be touring with the Queen of R&B, Kelly told us at Clutch: “It’s so awesome! She’s such a beautiful spirit. I love being a part of her tour. Her fans are women that love good music. She’s one of the few female artists that have made real soulful, incredible music. I’ve always respected and appreciated the honesty in her songs. “

BK is excited to share her own brand of passionate, emotive music with concertgoers across the nation. Alongside her musical reverence and enchanting voice, the beauty boasts dynamic style and an effortless fresh-faced look. She shared five secrets with us to looking fabulous while being a woman on-the go.
Click through to see all the tips, Clutchettes!

-Nicole Breeden

1. When traveling, you have to have a routine to keep the skin clear and healthy. I use Clean & Clear face wash astringent and Aveeno face moisturizer.

2. For emergency beauty products, every girl should pack face wipes, eyeliner, concealer, lip gloss and Vaseline. It’s important to be moisturized and prepared for anything.


3. Items you must throw in your luggage? I say a pair of Chuck Taylors or Doc Martens, a little black dress/jumpsuit, heels and either a big necklace or earrings.

4. To look refreshed after a long day of travel, having your hair thrown up in a slick top knot is the best bet. It’s clean and looks good!

5. I absolutely can’t leave home without my shades and Nivea Chapstick. Those are my essentials.

-Nicole Breeden

The post On-The-Go Beauty: Bridget Kelly Shares Five Travel Tips appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Let me rewind a few months. I had been job searching for months after being laid-off of my first job out of college. The nice and cushy salaried job with benefits, had been replaced with the scarce reality of a limited job market. My job search went through phases. There was the ‘Stay in your lane’ phase where I was striving to stay career oriented, the disappointment of this translated to the ‘F it–I’m going abroad to save the turtles!’ stage, and as time progressed and rational set in, I became a little more flexible and entered into the ‘I’ll take what I can get for now’ phase; as I planned to focus on my passion on the side. As fate would have it, I wound up getting three jobs all within the same week. Two part-time, and the other as often as I made myself available. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe Alicia Keys’ “Superwoman” was subconsciously playing in my head as I had the audacity to take on all three. Wrong move.

I don’t know what the thrill is of always being busy is for me, but this time around it wore off very fast. These were no sit at the desk and update Facebook gigs, I was teaching during the day then off to a demanding customer service job in the evening. When I wasn’t working, I was trying to get some sleep and vice versa. Missed calls, emails, and several hour gaps in response to texts became all too common. My life became a maze off sticky notes and power naps. I tried my best to map out every detail. There was the friendly “Take your keys!” reminder posted on my dry erase board and a meticulous schedule that included time slots for everything from changing clothes between jobs, returning messages, stopping for gas and that much needed time to pray my way through it all. Hair appointments were supplemented by blow outs and heavily bobby-pinned up-dos and my nails just didn’t stand a chance.

In short, I started loosing myself. Not only did I loose myself in work, I lost sight of what I was doing it all for. Despite paying the bills, my 9-5 and 5-9 made it super hard to keep up with my passion (writing) and not to mention family and friends.

While it may feel good or look good in the eyes of others to proclaim you are “going hard” or “grinding,” is it possible to to get lost in the grind? In my case, I believe I did. In the end, I had to let go of one of the jobs and in doing so I let go of so much stress. While money is indeed a lot tighter, I find it much more fulfilling to have more time to actively pursue goals that will hopefully allow me to no longer be boxed in a clock-in/clock-out existence one day.

Of course, everything is real. Bills need to be paid and being idle can be an equally unproductive state. I’m no stranger to hardwork, but at what cost? If you’re going gray in your twenties by burying yourself in a dead-end job, it may be good to step back and see how you can better balance your life; especially if you have passions/goals outside of the daily rat race. I learned that it is important to make time for the small things. For me it’s things like making sure I get my daily dose of drooly kisses from my baby nephew or having quality ‘Me+G-O-D’ time before I start my day. Also, try your best to maintain relationships with those who mean the most to you, I can’t tell you how many conversations now start off with “Dag, where you been?!” or the somewhat annoying greeting of “Hey stranger!” Be sure to treat yourself to that much needed hair appointment or trip to the nail salon or spa every so often, because chances are you deserve it.

This struggle to find balance in work and life is nothing knew, and can be especially challenging if you are a go-getter or compulsive workaholic like myself. In the economic reality of today we may be compelled to take on more than we can bear. Every opportunity may not necessarily be the right opportunity for you, and knowing your limits is key. Don’t lose sight of your goals and strive to protect your peace-of-mind. And whatever you do, don’t lose yourself in the grind.

The post Lost in the Grind appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

NBA legend Dr. J, and his much younger wife.

Student loan debt is toppling $1 billion in the United States. The job market is still struggling to recover while household debt averages continues to increase. Long-term wealth seems impossible for some of us, but there are a few women that have found an out to their dismal financial realities: SugarDaddies.com.

Sugar Daddies is a dating site – similar to eHarmony or Match – designed to pair young, attractive women with well-to-do, older men with penchants for doling out cash on their romantic partners. A friend of a friend introduced me to Sugar Daddies after she met her current beau on the site. She’s in her mid-20’s and he’s almost 50, but her walloping monthly allowance persuaded her to look past his graying temples and warped motivations.

This friend of a friend is a devoted sugar-baby. She schedules her life around his, catering to his whims and pretending to be on his janitorial staff when his dignitary-esque wife calls from China. Her student loans are reimbursed, her hair is forever done and her wardrobe is insane. Her life is luxurious. I declined her invitation to register for the site, but it’s understandable why she would pine for this lifestyle as she sees the globe-trotting lives of the real housewives, basketball wives and medicine wives.

Too bad this friend of a friend is a rare exception in the land of sugardaddies and their sugarbabies. A new study from the University of Colorado Denver found that May-December romances don’t guarantee an automatic upgrade into wealth. The report, published in the Review of Economics and Statistics, found marriages with one significantly-older spouse tend to have lower collective earnings. Researchers also discovered one of the spouses is typically less-educated and less-attractive and also has lower cognitive abilities than a spouse in a relationship with someone closer to her age.

“Hugh Hefner is an outlier,” said Hani Mansour, Ph.D., an assistant professor of economics at CU Denver. “Our results call into question the conventional wisdom regarding differently-aged couples.”

Mansour and co-author Terra McKinnish, Ph.D., associate professor of economics at the University of Colorado Boulder, examined U.S. Census Bureau data from 1960 through 2000 to gauge the trends of marriages with significant age-gaps. The economists used the 1979 National Longitudinal Survey of Youth to estimate cognitive abilities and the National Longitudinal Survey of Adolescent Health to determine physically attractiveness.

Their findings don’t set age perimeters for the marriages examined, but both researchers determined cougars and sugardaddies aren’t a new phenomenon.

“We really didn’t find any evidence of a new cougar phenomenon,” Mansour said. “Although their share has slightly increased over time, cougars have been among us since the 1960s.”

Despite these findings, some women are still awaiting their rich prince, popularized in romantic comedies like “Pretty Woman.” Nerve Magazine interviewed an aspiring sugar-baby. She hopes to find a rich, older man to elevate her tax bracket.

“I am hoping to find someone who is mature and experienced and successful and powerful, because that’s what women are looking for,” she said. “I think that wealth is a good indication of success and power.”

Chime in Clutchettes. Would you date a sugar daddy?

The post The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon: Would You Date One? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Sound familiar? It’s probably spewed all over your social media at some point in the wake of a tragedy. You may have seen it at the head of websites, opinion pieces, and articles about the horrors that continue to exist in the world — a young Black man shot for carrying a bag of Skittles and a soda through a white neighborhood, for example. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself.

Maybe you’ve also heard this phrase before: “White folks, please come for your people.”

White folks, I’m coming for you, because you are my people, and I’ve had enough of you using this as a rallying cry. If I see/hear/encounter/smell/touch one more instance of this “we are all” bull-pucky, I swear on a stack of ice cream that I am going to lose it. We’ve had entirely too much of this and it’s time for y’all to stop.

Because, newsflash, no you are not all Savita. You are not all Beatriz, or Trayvon, or whoever your soon-to-be-forgotten cause célèbre is on any given week. And to claim that you are is completely ridiculous; you may be attempting to work out your white guilt by “expressing solidarity” but this is anything but solidarity. Instead, it’s just an appropriation of other people’s experiences.

I have Trayvon Martin on my mind a lot lately because the George Zimmerman trial is underway in Florida — curiously, people keep referring to it as the “Trayvon Martin trial,” as though a dead Black teen is the one on trial for being shot by a white man.

In a way, he is, though, because we live in a twisted, backward, deeply racist society. What happened to Trayvon Martin was, to begin with, a clear consequence of racism. It was also appalling and gross and disgusting and infuriating, and the thought that Zimmerman may get away with it because of racism makes me enraged.

Acknowledging all this, I am still not Trayvon Martin. I never was and I never will be. Trayvon Martin was a young Black man — that’s an experience I’ve never lived, never will, and will never completely understand.

I can walk through almost any white neighborhood doing pretty much anything and be reasonably assured of getting away with it. I certainly wouldn’t be shot at; at most, someone might ask me what I was doing, or possibly call the police.

The memory of Oscar Grant, shot by BART police in 2009, looms large in the Bay Area. Photo credit: elizaIO.

I’m not Beatriz, either. I’ve never been a Latina woman living in a nation where abortion is banned and I desperately need one to save my life but certainly can’t hope to travel to a country where I could access one; I’ve never been Savita, either, being left to die rather than receiving a needed abortion because the laws in my home nation are so restrictive. I have never been, nor will I ever be, any of these people.

These phrases may be designed to express the idea that these are horrific things that can happen to anyone as a result of living in an oppressive society, but that’s not quite accurate. They could happen to certain people, those who live at the bottom of a complex social and cultural hierarchy, and there’s not enough nuance in a catchphrase to capture that. Consequently, the signs become appropriative rather than somber statements of fact when they’re held by the wrong people.

To say “I am Savita” is an appropriation of the experience of a real woman, a woman who lived, suffered, and died. Savita has become an icon, an emblem of injustice, and she has become a rallying point as people push for changes to Ireland’s restrictive and awful abortion laws. The fact that Savita had to die for public outcry to become significant enough to push for change is tragic, but most of those people holding up signs saying they’re Savita? They’re not. And they never were. And they aren’t at risk of becoming her.

It’s possible to express solidarity without appropriating and overriding an experience. For me to say, for example, that I as a white person recognize the role that racism played in Trayvon Martin’s death, and that I as a white person am complicit in, and benefit from, systems of racism in US society. I can also say that stand your ground laws are rooted in racism, and should be abolished; that concrete action is needed to prevent the death of more young Black men.

And I can listen to what members of the Black community — those who knew Trayvon Martin, who have known other men like him, who will know other men like him — have to say not just about the case, but about racism and its role in society. I can take my cues on how to act in solidarity from the people who need my solidarity, rather than waving around a sign saying “I am Trayvon Martin” or wearing a T-shirt to the same effect.

Appropriate deployment of a “We are Trayvon Martin” sign. Note that the sign-holders are speaking to their personal experiences in an act of protest.

Photo credit: Werth Media.

The qualitative difference between a group of Black men wearing hoodiesor holding up signs expressing solidarity versus a group of white people doing the same is huge. It doesn’t mean we whites can’t participate in protest, can’t express outrage and fury, and can’t work with the Black community to repair racism in society — but it does mean that we need to do so with respect and care.

There are a lot of different ways to express solidarity and work with members of marginalized communities, particularly those reeling from preventable tragedies. And maybe some communities genuinely do want a bunch of white people waving around “we are all” signs, knowing that, thanks to the roles of privilege and power in society, those people will be profiled, will attract public attention, will force people to confront an issue they could otherwise ignore.

But I kind of doubt that, and I’d rather take my cues from the communities directly affected than from people outside those communities imposing their own version of “solidarity” and “protest.” Because when the dust settles and the incident is forgotten by outsiders, it’s insiders who will have to deal with the aftermath, and it’s insiders who will be left with the legacy.

Where are all the people who informed us they were Oscar Grant? Charles Hill? Trayvon Martin? Milton Hall? Amadou Diallo? Kelly Thomas? Unlike the people their signs proudly commemorated, they’re not dead, so why are they so silent when it comes to long-term actual reforms that might make a difference when it comes to preventing more police deaths, more shootings justified under “stand your ground,” more social injustice?

 Amadou Diallo was killed by the NYPD in 2009.  Photo credit: Elvert Barnes.

Remember how a white feminist activist held up a sign at Slutwalk (an already fascinatingly troubled institution) reading “woman is the n-word of the world,” aping a famous quote? And didn’t seem to get why that was a problem? And sparked a whole lot of controversy as people alternately condemned and defended her?

She’s indicative of a larger problem, this strange sort of desire on the part of my fellow white folks to simultaneously constantly attempt to atone for their white guilt while also trying to figure out new ways to be marginalized, since apparently that’s trendy these days (seriously, check out Tumblr sometime). It’s not enough, for example, to be a white woman dealing with sexism, which is a serious social issue -– no, you have to compare yourself to the Black community, as though the two oppressions are equivalent, and as though there are no Black women experiencing a unique combination of sexism and racism.

You can’t just be a fat white woman — you have to be a victim of “the last acceptable prejudice,” apparently, because some people genuinely seem to believe that fat hatred (or ableism, or any number of other things) is “the last acceptable prejudice.” With all these things warring for last acceptable prejudice status, I think it’s safe to say that we’re still fighting prejudice on a number of fronts, yeah?

I think we can stop playing Oppression Olympics.

The Million Hoodie March was a fantastic act of protest organized within and by the Black community, a powerful statement about race, society, and attitudes. The internal organising and concerted soldiarity are what made it so effective. Photo credit: Joe Lustri.

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t do the right thing all the time. But I do know this: if I’m spending more time focusing on my internalized guilt than on fixing social problems, I’m ultimately engaging in self-indulgent navel gazing that benefits no one but me. And if my version of solidarity is appropriating other experiences, I’m actually harming the very communities I’m claiming to help, and ultimately, I’m harming my own community, too.

As a disabled person, for example, I don’t need to compare myself to other marginalized communities — because we all experience prejudice, yes, but it takes many different forms and it has different meanings.

As a person who experiences prejudice I can sympathize across common ground while acknowledging that what I experience is not the same as what others (including other disabled people!) experience. And I can do that without falling into the trap of believing that all prejudice is one prejudice, and that one experience equates to another. And I can work in solidarity with people and hope that they’ll work in solidarity with me on my own fights, without an expectation of quid pro quo service to each other.

I’m acutely aware that holding up an “I am ____” or “We are all _____” sign is a performative demonstration of activism; it’s a handy catchphrase, it makes a great hashtag, it’s quick, easy, and doesn’t require thought.

But what does it do for the ______s of the world, past, present, and future?

This post originally appeared on XOJane. Republished with permission. Click here for more
s.e. smith on XOJane!

The post Enough With This “We Are All So-and-So” Nonsense, White Folks appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

“Dark Girls,” the documentary which candidly and provocatively explores colorism among African-Americans, is finally making it to the small screen. Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network will air the ‘Dark Girls’ documentary next Sunday.

The film, which premiered at Toronto International Film Festival in 2011, has generated a lot of buzz for its compelling interviews with dark-skinned African-American who reveal their poignant experiences dealing with colorism.

Co-directed by D. Channsin Berry and Bill Duke, the film gives dark-skinned women a platform to discuss prejudices they’ve faced because of their complexion and hopefully, spread awareness and bring healing.

Berry says of the film, in a writeup on their official website: “These ladies broke it down to the degree that dark-skinned ‘sistas’ with ‘good’ hair vs. dark-skinned women with ‘kinky’ hair were given edges when it came time for coveted promotions.” Additional interviewees for “Dark Girls” include White men in loving intimate relationships with Black women that were passed over by “their own men,” as well as dark-skinned women of Latin and Panamanian background to bring a world perspective to the issue of dark vs. light.”

I can’t wait to tune in to the world television premiere of Dark Girls on OWN Sunday, June 23, at 10 PM EST. Will you be watching, Clutchettes?

Watch the trailer below:

The post “Dark Girls” Documentary To Make World TV Premiere on OWN appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Bria Murphy, the daughter of comedian Eddie Murphy and Dark & Lovely spokesmodel, elucidates the tragic thin obsession among models in a recent interview with “Good Morning America.”

Here’s an excerpt from a revealing interview with the 23 year-old, who lists being a Victoria’s Secret Angel as one of her goals:

On Models Eating Cotton Balls:

“They dip it in the orange juice and then they eat the cotton balls to help them feel full.”

On How She Deals With The Pressure To Stay Thin:

“I’m a small girl naturally, but I can gain weight. And I’m going through little hormonal changes and my body’s changing and I’m like, “Oh my God, I’m gaining weight this week, I’m losing weight next week.””

On Rejection by Casting Agents:

“It’s your job to go into a room … and some people will just say no without an explanation, and some will be like, “Oh, your nose is too big. Your butt’s too big. Oh, your legs are flabby. Like, they’ll just go on you, “Oh, you need to tighten that up.”

Now that certain retailers are smartening up and including designs of various sizes, you have to wonder when the rest of the fashion community will catch on and eradicate the need for unhealthy eating practices once and for all.

Source

The post Model Bria Murphy On The Pressure To Stay Thin: “Girls Eat Cotton Balls Dipped In Orange Juice” appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Though many are ditching the creamy crack and hoping to get back to their roots, one type of natural hair is often held up as the ideal: curly.

While some sistas have a mass of springy curls, others (myself included) enjoy a more–shall we say–militant texture of hair.

After spending hundreds of dollars on cremes, gells, and magic potions promissing to turn my “kinks to curls,” I realized that my hair is just not meant to look like some of my looser-coiled sistern.

I cannot rock a wash-and-go without ending up with a tangled mess; I cannot apply light cremes for moisture; and I will never have Tracee Ellis Ross-type hair no matter what products I buy.

And that’s ok.

In an effort to encourage women to embrace their own hair texture, Ross recently took to YouTube to announce her “Hair Love” campaign.

In the video, Ross thanks viewers for their love of her hair, but cautions against coveting her mane instead of embracing their own.

“I geniunely am honored and tickled and excited by the fact that people like my hair,” Ross gushes. “It’s really nice when people like something about you, especially when they like something that you worked so hard on and used to hate.”

“I used to hate my hair,“ Ross admitts, and explains that her hair acceptance only came after years of exploration and experimentation.

Ross breaks it down even further, telling viewers, “I don’t want you to want my hair. The reason I don’t want you to want my hair is I’m of the school of love what you got. For me, the reason my hair was such a battle was because I was trying to make it something it wasn’t. I wanted the hair that somebody else had.”

During the video Ross challenges women to share short video responses about why they love their hair.

“I love that you love my hair,” she tells viewers,”But I only love that you love my hair if it’s an inspiration for you to love your hair.”

Check out Tracee Ellis Ross’s video to hear more about her Hair Love campaign and submit your video. 

The post Natural Hair Icon Tracee Ellis Ross Says, ‘I Don’t Want You to Want My Hair’ appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

First Kanye West dropped ‘Yeezus,’ a sparse and lyrical album whose title had many wondering if the Chicago emcee was feeling himself just a little too much. And now this.

During Game 5 of the NBA finals, Jay-Z shook up the music world when he announced his next solo album would drop in July.

Baring the over-the-top title “Magna Carta Holy Grail,” the album will be released to Samsung users on July 4 and the general public three days later. Despite dropping his album in an entirely new way (to a particular group of phone owners), many are wondering if Jay-Z has a bit of a God complex.

To be fair, rappers are some of the most arrogant people on the planet…or at least on wax.

Being an emcee means possessing the ability to best all comers lyrically, and rappers often brag about their superior skills. Between Biggie dubbing himself the King of New York, LLCoolJ calling himself the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time), and Rakim’s assertion that he’s “the god emcee,” boasting in hip hop is nothing new.

So Jay (who assumed the moniker “Jay-Hova” for years), choosing to one-up his boy Kanye, by calling his album the “Holy Grail,” falls firmly in line with hip hop’s bragadocious tradition.

But is it too over the top?

“Magna Carta Holy Grail” will feature production from some of music’s heavyweights: Pharrell Williams, Timbaland, Rick Ruban, and Swizz Beats. It will also showcases Jay-Z’s signature flow over a mix of live instrumentation and hardcore beats.

Jigga promisses the album will be “revolutionary,” and with a title like “Magna Carta Holy Grail,” it better live up to the hype.

The post God Complex? Jay-Z Announces Release of New Album ‘Magna Carta Holy Grail’ appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

There are proponents and dissenters on both sides of the argument. However, leading scholars and legal experts, including law professors and sociologists, claim legalizing prostitution will cut costs for law enforcement, lower the rates of transmitted diseases and keep sex workers safe from violent pimps and rapists.

Prostitution is a victimless crime, according to Sherry F. Colb, a professor at Cornell University’s School of Law. Colb argues prostitution is a one-to-one transaction that doesn’t cause greater societal harm.

“Prostitution should not be a crime,” she says. “Prostitutes are not committing an inherently harmful act. While the spread of disease and other detriments are possible in the practice of prostitution, criminalization is a sure way of exacerbating rather than addressing such effects. We saw this quite clearly in the time of alcohol prohibition in this country.”

Colb also sees a sexist double-standard that criminalizes prostitutes while ignoring the customers purchasing them.

“The prostitutes are harassed, arrested, and sometimes prosecuted, while the johns (and often the pimps, who are far more likely to be engaged in violent and master/slave-like treatment of the prostitutes) are ignored,” she says. “This reflects the view that men who traffic in women are not as bad as the women in whom they traffic. If people are honestly concerned about the wellbeing of women in this profession, then they must begin by removing the status of ‘outlaw’ from these women so that they can come forward and receive help if and when they feel they want to leave a profession that can otherwise be quite difficult to escape.”

More than 50 countries in the world, including Argentina, Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom and Italy have legalized prostitution, setting perimeters for solicitation and regulating the industry.

Regulating prostitution by requiring standard testing for STD’s and HIV and establishing laws to protect them from violence can also keep sex workers in safe environments where assault won’t be prevalent.

Dr. Kirby R. Cundiff, an associate professor of finance at Northeastern State University, finds regulation will allow states to set prices for sexual favors. He approximates a decrease in 25,000 rapes each year if fixed prices are established.

“In the United States where prostitution is illegal, the low-end price for most prostitutes is about $200 and the monthly per capita income is $2,820,” he says. “In Amsterdam, Netherlands where prostitution is legal the price is $30. If prostitution were legalized in the United States it is rational to assume that prices would resemble those in the Netherlands, this would result in… a decrease in the rape rate of 10 per 100,000.”

Regulatory perimeters will also decrease STD’s by ensuring prostitutes don’t have to hide from police and can thus have access to medical care.

Priscilla Alexander, co-founder and coordinator of the National Task Force on Prostitution, says     “health problems associated with prostitution, such as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and violence, are commonly assumed to be ‘risks of the trade,” but regulation can prevent this.

“Individuals arrested on prostitution charges often modify their work behavior in an attempt to reduce their visibility to the police,” she says. “They may agree to acts carrying higher risks if it means more money, in order to reduce the time on the street, and thus the likelihood of being arrested. As a result, sex workers become more vulnerable to pressure to not use condoms, thereby increasing their risk of contracting STDs, including HIV.”

Regulation may not lessen HIV-exposure, however. Alexander thinks the destruction of stigma can prevent this.

“For HIV/AIDS prevention to succeed, the conditions of risk have to change,” she says. “The context – legal, social, economic – of sex work has to change, with repeal of criminal laws, access to visas and work permits, freedom of movement and association, and occupational safety and health regulations, to reduce the imposition of risk from above. Until then, it will be heroic, strong individuals that can insist on safe behaviors, leaving those who are less heroic, those who are more timid and afraid, to suffer the consequences of the context of risk.”

The legalizing of sex work is a controversial issue, especially for women’s rights advocates that equate prostitution with sexual, emotional and mental abuse. Prostitution has been linked to childhood sexual trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in several studies, including the “Bad for the Body, Bad for the Heart” report in the Violence Against Women journal. However, other studies have shown that prostitution has no impact on the psychological well-being of sex workers.

Legalized prostitution may never reach consensus in the United States, but it is a cause worth considering.

Chime in Clutchettes and gents. Should prostitution be legalized in the United States?

The post Is It Time to Legalize Prostitution? appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Illinois Rep. Luis Gutierrez appeared on “This Week” Sunday to remind leaders of the toll of faulty immigration policies. “I want to say it’s Father’s Day. A study just came out this week in Illinois, 56,000 children were left without a mom or a dad, some without parents in the last six years,” Gutierrez said. “It’s something we have to end. It’s a tragedy, what’s happening to American immigrant families.”

The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement deported more than 409,000 individuals in 2012, equating to more than 1,100 deportations daily, according to the federal agency’s website. If this current rate continues, more than 152,000 children will have at least one parent detained or deported by 2013.

These children are impacted physically, emotionally and mentally when their parents are returned to their countries of origins.

Oakland-based advocacy group, Human Impact Partners, released a report last week detailing the detrimental effects of deportation on the 5 million American children living with undocumented parents. Researchers interviewed over 500 immigrant parents and their children and released this consensus:

“[T]hese children and their families live with anxiety about the future, fearful that arrest, detention or deportation will tear their families apart. Anxiety and fear are only part of the damaging impacts of their families’ precarious legal status. Children of the undocumented may also suffer from poverty, diminished access to food and health care, mental health and behavioral problems and limited educational opportunities—particularly when a parent is arrested and detained or deported.”

The worries of deportation also impact some children’s ability to function in the classroom, leading to lower grades.

Think Progress reports:

Children of undocumented immigrant parents are less likely to graduate from high school than U.S.-born children, according to a joint study released by UC Irvine and Penn State. The study found that Mexican young adults with undocumented mothers averaged one-and-a-quarter less years of schooling than their counterparts with authorized immigrant mothers. The authors theorized that the schooling gap could be mitigated by the passage of the comprehensive immigration reform bill that the Senate is set to be debated on in June.

When faced with poverty and “ethnoracial discriminiation,” such kids feel alienated and are unable to launch themselves on an upward trajectory. The second generation children do not assimilate well to the host society because of the constant fear of having their parents’ immigration status found out. Lacking ties to the host country because of fear of deportation, second-generation children are thus unable to acculturate as well as their peers because of their parents’ legal status.

The future earnings of these second generation children also diminishes with the schooling gap because without a high school diploma, they would “earn about half a million dollars less over their lifetimes.”

The fear of detainment and eventual deportation also keeps immigrant families from seeking medical attention for their children. Almost 40 percent of children of undocumented children didn’t visit a doctor in 2012.

All of these factors affect long-term health.

Rep. Lucille Roybal-Allard (D-CA) has introduced legislation to protect children from long-term separation from their parents. She is calling on the Obama administration to act.

“While it’s critical that any comprehensive immigration reform proposal include protections for immigrant families, this study shows we can’t continue waiting for Congress to act,” Roybal-Allard said in a statement. “I once again call on the Administration to end the unjust deportation of parents.”

The Human Impact offers four solutions to minimize the effect of deportation on children, including offering a “direct, clear, expedient and affordable path to citizenship for all undocumented immigrants;” eliminating some of the Department of Homeland Security’s programs and policies that target immigrant families; and establishing child welfare programs similar to those enacted in California.

Comprehensive immigration reform may offer relief to some of immigration families. It is worth spending political capital on if it prevents one child from being separated from her parents.

The post A Family Split: The Real Costs of Immigration Deportation appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Two weeks ago, Nicole Flood found her daughter, Aquilla Flood shot dead in her East Orange, NJ bedroom. Her uncle said he looked in  on her around 3 a.m and  she was found dead around 7:30 a.m. Aquilla’s classmates described her as stylish and friendly and was preparing to attend her prom.

Aquilla’s ex boyfriend has been arrested and faces murder charges related to her death. Her 18-year-old ex, Al Muqqadin Means, is suspected of killing Aquilla because of her refusal to attend the prom with him. It is also worth noting that Aquilla was the repeated recipient of threats from Means.

From NJ.com:

Nicole Flood has said Means climbed a fire escape to gain access to the family’s third story apartment and shot Aquilla while she slept. Police have not confirmed that account.

Aquilla Flood broke up with Means several months ago, her mother said, after the suspect’s sister warned the girl that the 18-year-old was a violent man. The threats started a few weeks later.

She was so scared that she begged her mother to move to a new apartment, but Nicole Flood said she didn’t know the extent of the threat posed by Means until after she found her daughter lying in a pool of blood in her bedroom. Aquilla apparently told her uncle about the threats, but not her mother.

Flood’s aunt told NJ.com: “We are extremely excited and happy for that (his arrest), but it sill doesn’t bring out beloved niece and daughter back.”

The post Aquilla Flood Murder: Ex-boyfriend Charged In Slaying Of 17-year-old N.J. Prom Queen appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

There has been much ado about young Black men and their taste for sagging jeans; from the criticism of our elders to the various jurisdictions across the country that have gone so far as to put laws in place that ticket people for ‘indecent exposure’, the debate over freedom of fashion versus decency won’t end any time soon. However, as a woman in her mid-20s who has embraced her ‘grown grown’ status, I have to admit that I, too, am getting pretty tired of seeing a man’s ass before he’s even bought me dinner first.

I’m hardly conservative; I wear my hair natural, often in a big bush. I have a nose ring and while I do love pearls, cardigans and sundresses, I am known for my dashikis and modesty-defying hemlines. I’m glad that I’m free to dress as I please and I don’t advocate taking that right away from any other adult. I also realize that my style (much like my personality, my look, my views…) ain’t for everybody and it certainly could deter a brother who prefers, say, a preppy woman or one who wears the latest Hip-Hop gear.

There’s no universal standard of style that all men or women can be held to, nor do I advocate for one. But I am one of many women who is getting a bit tired of seeing men over the age of 21 (and especially over 25) who dress like teenagers. Rocking “urban wear” is one thing (btw-I hate that term; just the fashion industry’s way of saying ‘Black people sh*t’ without saying it), but showing everybody on the block your Polo boxers? Or, worse, your worn-out tighty formerly whiteys? Come on, son.

I see far too many men in my peer group who seem to have some sort of major opposition to adult clothes. You never see them in anything but basketball sneakers or Timbs, regardless of season. If you’re going to a sports bar or to Applebees , then fine; but you can’t pull out the hard bottoms for a nice dinner? Or even a pair of dark-colored sneakers that resemble dress shoes?

Call me stuck up if you want to, wont be the first time. But my soul weeps every time I see some 30-year-old brother with braids, a hoodie and some Jordan 11s on a date with a woman who’s dressed to the nines. We know that you fellas put a lot of effort into these outfits, but spending a significant amount of money on a getup doesn’t make it event appropriate. And while I understand that eschewing ‘traditional’ clothes is one way that some brothers give the middle finger to the proverbial ‘establishment’…if you aren’t ready to be a full-out ex-pat or to reject capitalism all together, you aren’t really saying that much, homey. Your rebellion is but a mere blip on the radar, if that.

It may sound cliché’, but grown is sexy. I don’t do the same things I did when I was 16. I left behind the 5 for $25 Victoria’s Secret cotton panties and the body spray. My clothes have changed significantly from my high school years to college on to now. While the brands may have changed and the styles might have switched, some of my bredren can’t quite say the same. And most, “I don’t have to wear no button up, that ain’t me,” cats aren’t Russell Simmons, nor will they ever be.

Maybe I have gotten bougie, stuck-up or more conservative than I’d like to be, but I’m not hardly the only sister out here who’s tired of looking like a lady in the presence of boys. The sagging, the sneaks, the fitted…great for high school and possibly for chill out days. But when you are a 34 year old father of two looking like the coolest dude at King High School? No bueno. It doesn’t matter how successful you are, how active you are in the community or what levels of educational or class attainment you may have achieved; dressing like a teenager is a big huge turn-off.

The post Pull Up Your Pants and Let’s Dance appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Imagine being able to dine with out the sound of screaming kids, or trying to maneuver past strollers as you make your way to a table. Well that’s reality for restaurant goers in the Del Ray section of Alexandria, Virginia.

“Welcome,” reads the black-and-white sign on the door of The Sushi Bar. “This is an adults-only environment. No children under 18 please.”

From MSN:

Since The Sushi Bar opened a week ago, the restaurant’s policy appears to be paying off — it’s enjoying a packed house every night, WUSA-TV noted. 

“I understand why they would do that. It’s not that big of a deal,” said one mother of three who was turned away from The Sushi Bar.

But not everyone is so understanding. Some people even compared the policy to apartheid on a Patch forum.

“I won’t be eating there and I’m not going to frequent Pork Barrel or Holy Cow any longer,” one writer posted, referring to the owners’ other restaurants. “It’s ironic how happy they were to take my money for kids meals at Pork Barrel but now my money isn’t good enough for fish.”

People have also taken to the restaurant’s Facebook page to express their displeasure about the policy.

“Great way to keep me out of your spot,” griped one commenter on the Sushi Bar’s Facebook page. “As a single parent, thanks… we will dine at another sushi bar!”

“In case anyone is wondering, no, I won’t be patronizing this establishment if I’m ever again in the area,” added another commenter.

What do you think about the “no children under 18″ policy? 

The post Restaurant Adopts A “No Kids” Policy appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Halle Holmes was 10 years old in 2010 when she came home empty-handed and aggravated after a trip to the local mall. As hostess of an upcoming spa party, she had her heart set on finding all-natural beauty products in fun fragrances that her girlfriends would like and her sensitive skin could tolerate.

“We didn’t want to smell like lavender and sweet pea. We wanted something youthful smelling,” she says. Downright indignant that no such product existed, Halle says she turned to her teenage sister Brea and said, “Why don’t we start our own?”

As the saying goes, necessity is the mother of invention. The Holmes sisters began researching their idea online, tapped their family dermatologist for advice, and sent their mom out to investigate a few cosmetics manufacturers they identified.

With $6,000 in startup funding from their parents, Halle and Brea officially launched their beauty products business the same year. Named Sweet Dream Girlz for a favorite Beyonce song, the Holmes’ line of moisturizers, cleansers, lip balms, and hair products are paraben- and talc-free, feature shea butter and natural oils, and come in “yummy” scents like Pink Sugar and Iced Lemon Cookie. From sales online, at trade shows, and in specialty stores nationwide, the business generated more than $25,000 in revenues its first year, and $42,000 in 2012. According to mom Lisa Holmes, Sweet Dream Girlz is profitable, but all income goes right back into the company to support marketing and new product development.

The young entrepreneurs—now 13 and 19—have been featured in USA Today, Tigerbeat, local television news, and various other media. They were invited to the 2012 Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards where their products were featured in the swag bags. And they’ve made it to the final casting call for season 5 of ABC’s Shark Tank.

Despite all the exposure, however, buyers at major stores including Dillard’s, Nordstrom, and Justice have turned them down. So have big beauty brands Ulta and Avon. “The typical response is that they haven’t carried it before, they’re skeptical they can move it in their stores, and they want you to come to them with big sales volume numbers before they’ll try,” says Lisa Holmes.

But the sisters are confident those buyers are missing out on a big market. Tween and teen girls are consumers of spa and beauty products, they say. The only reason they don’t buy products specially made for them is because they’re not available, they say.

So, they figured out how to reach that market themselves. This week they introduced Spa Diva, a network-marketing program that sells a $350 “mobile spa kit” to their business-minded peers. Girls as young as 16 can purchase the kit and earn commissions hosting in-home mani-pedi parties and taking orders for Sweet Dream Girlz products from their friends. The kit includes manicure, pedicure, and facial supplies, party-hostess advice, and a “business resource CD,” that tells how to make a professional presentation, talk about the products, and engage with customers.

Brea, who was in high school when Sweet Dreams Girlz launched, will start her sophomore year at Woodbury University in Burbank, Calif., this fall. In addition to her studies in fashion design and marketing, she dedicates about four hours a day to the business, including video-chat meetings with her sister at home in Phoenix.

What’s next? The girls have already expanded their brand to tackle another shopping frustration: Why aren’t sweet, fun fashions like the ones Taylor Swift and Victoria Justice wear available in girls’ sizes 7-16? They designed and are now wholesaling a line of Sweet Dream Girlz apparel, sneakers, and accessories. They hired a sales rep with a showroom in the Atlanta apparel mart to raise awareness of their brand, and, says Halle, “We just finished the photo shoot for our spring 2014 line.”

source

The post Black Teens Take On Avon appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

George Zimmerman’s father, Robert Zimmerman Sr., recently released a new e-book on Amazon called “Florida v. Zimmerman: Uncovering the Malicious Prosecution of my Son, George”.  Everything from the description of the book, “this book describes how and why my son, George Zimmerman, has been charged with the crime of murder”, to the most interesting chapter called, “Who Are The True Racists,” attempts to dispute the fact that Zimmerman’s actions were not racial.

In typical, “I’m not racist because I have black friends”, Zimmerman Sr.’s prologue states:

“As an adult, George continued to judge everyone as individuals, as he does today. Many of George’s closest and most trusted friends are African American. Although the FBI interviewed dozens of George’s friends, neighbors, co-workers, and acquaintances, there is a tremendous amount of evidence that George is absolutely not a racist in any sense of the word.”

But George’s father definitely feels there’s several groups of racist in the world, they just happen to be African-Americans.  In what reads like a horrible David Letterman top 10 list, Zimmerman Sr. lists the people/organizations that are racist:

He then goes on to list various black leaders and organizations that he believes are racist:

Congressional Black Caucus. “[A] pathetic, self-serving group of racists… advancing their purely racist agenda.” He later adds that “all members of Congress should be ashamed of the Congressional Black Caucus, as should be their constituents.” And finally: “They are truly a disgrace to all Americans.”

The NAACP. “[S]imply promotes racism and hatred for their own, primarily finical, interests” and “without prejudice and racial divide, the NAACP would simply cease to exist.”

NAACP President Benjamin Jealous. “[W]hat I would expect of a racist.”

Trayvon Martin’s funeral director. A “racial activist and former head of the local NAACP.”

Benjamin Crump, Natialie Jackson and Darrly Parks, attorneys for Travyon Martin’s family. “The scheme team.”

The National Basketball Players Association.

Black Chamber of Commerce.

National Association of Black Law Enforcement Officers.

National Black United Fund.

United Negro College Fund.

Zimmerman Sr. also accused President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder of exploiting the case “to obtain great advantage in the African-American community.” 

What do you think about Zimmerman Sr.’s list of “racist people?

The post George Zimmerman’s Father Says The ‘True Racists’ Are African-American appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Bullying has become an increasing epidemic, but one town in Wisconsin is going to start hitting the parents of bullies where it hurts the most, their pockets.  Monona, Wisconsin parents whose children repeatedly bully others can now be ticketed by police and fined in municipal court.

The town didn’t cite any particular incident that led to the law, but it may set a new standard when it comes to dealing with bullies. Julie Hertzog, director of the National Bullying Prevention Center in Bloomington, Minn., said she had not heard of such a tactic and was hesitant to comment for that reason. “This is the first time it’s been on my radar,” she said.

According to the Wisconsin State Journal:

Monona Police Chief Wally Ostrenga said no specific incident led to the ordinance, just a general concern about the tragic consequences of bullying, including a rash of school shootings and teen suicides across the country.

He thinks the parent-liability clause will be used sparingly, if at all, and only in cases where parents are obstructive or uncooperative. He hopes the mere threat of a ticket will be enough.

“Sometimes you’ll knock on someone’s door and they won’t want to talk to you — their kids are perfect, they could never do anything wrong,” Ostrenga said. “This is for those times when we get the door slammed in our faces.”

Parents who are making a good-faith effort to address a child’s behavior would not be ticketed, he said.

City Attorney William S. Cole called the tactic “a tool of last resort” and said he believes it would withstand a court challenge.

Parents can’t be blindsided under the ordinance. Before being ticketed, a parent or guardian must be informed in writing by an officer of a separate violation of bullying by the same minor within the prior 90 days.

A ticket is a municipal code violation, not a criminal offense. (Only the state Legislature can make something a criminal offense.)

A first violation of the parent-liability clause carries a $114 fine. Subsequent violations within the same year carry fines of $177 each.

What do you think of this town’s law? Should other cities adopt similar laws?

The post Wisconsin Town Will Now Fine & Ticket Parents Of Bullies appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

Here is a sampling of some of the offensive memes via BuzzFeed:

Since memes are traditionally meant to be funny, it’s easy to assume that the internet trolls who created these graphics wrote their captions in jest. Still, it’s no excuse to spew vitriol about a stranger’s body simply because she’s not a size 2. And the sexism (sex in exchange for pizza?) and objectification of her body is offensive to all women.

There’s been talk about taking back this meme with empowering and uplifting captions about full-figured women. Do you think the plus size community and supporters should take that approach? Do you find the above captions disrespectful? Discuss, Clutchettes.

The post Plus Size Model Meme Gets Flooded with Offensive Captions About Full-Figured Women appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

After the enormous success of Rihanna’s first lipsick for MAC Cosmestics, “RiRi Woo,” it’s no surprise that MAC Cosmetics is already churning out a new collection. The second installment in Rihanna’s collaboration with the makeup brand, “RiRi Hearts MAC” Summer” was announced this week.

The new collection will be comprised of “a bronze and cool coral Powder Blush Duo in Hibiscus Kiss, retro Matte Lipsticks in RiRi Boy, Heaux and RiRi Woo and rose gold Lustre Drops,” according to The Glamazons. It launches on June 18th exclusively online at MAC Cosmetics at 12 NOON EST.

Leave it to Rihanna to get a major beauty brand to name a lipstick “Heaux.” What do you think of her latest offering? Will you shop the new collection?

Source

The post Rihanna Unveils Second Collection for MAC Cosmetics appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

You’ve probably heard the sayings “everyone wants to be black until the cops come,” or “everyone wants to be black except actual black people” long before Miley Cyrus came onto the scene. But one search of the former Disney star’s name on Twitter and it’s clear that some people think she’s the current poster child for the black culture fan club. From her twerking videos to her work with producer Mike Will Made It (“Bandz a Make Her Dance”), many claim she’s vying for “a black card,” whatever that means. Her latest interview with Billboard Magazine has these critics up in arm for her references to “hood music” and people who want to make her “the white Nicki Minaj.”

Here are a few excerpts:

On Loving Hood Music and Being “The White Nicki Minaj”:

“A lot of people wanted to try to make me the white Nicki Minaj. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I love ‘hood’ music, but my talent is as a singer.”

On Critics Who Say She’s Losing Herself:

“That’s been kind of a trip: It’s not like I’m losing who I am — I actually found out more about who I am by making this music. I’m going on a journey, and that’s more than a lot of 20-year-olds can say. And I’m still going to change so much. Because I’m not the same person I was six months ago — I’m not even the same person I was two weeks ago.”

On Her New Song, “We Can’t Stop,” Produced by Mike Will Made It:

“I’m 20 years old and I want to talk to the people that are up all night with their friends. It’s based on a true story of a crazy night I had: When I heard the song for the first time, it captured exactly what I was living. I didn’t make this song for the critics, but for the people living it.”

On Her Urban Influence:

“I’ve always wanted country-rock influences, but now I’m moving over to a more urban side. It’s not a hip-hop album, though-it’s a pop album. I’m not coming in trying to rap. It’s more like, ‘I don’t see any girls out there doing what Miguel and Frank Ocean are doing.’”

What do you think of Miley Cyrus’ new direction, Clutchettes?

Source

The post Miley Cyrus: “I Love Hood Music” But Don’t Want To Be “The White Nicki Minaj” appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

From The Grio

For better or worse, African-Americans appear to be at the forefront of most of the social shifts that are fueling the rise of breadwinner moms.  These trends include single motherhood, rates of divorce, women’s educational and career ascendancy and men’s increasing unemployment and underemployment.

According to the Pew study, 63 percent of the breadwinner moms are single mothers; additionally, African-American mothers are disproportionately single. Black mothers make up 12.4 percent of all mothers, but comprise 27.5 percent of all single mothers, 40.1 percent of never-married mothers and 17.1 percent of divorced, separated or widowed mothers.

Black women: More likely to out-earn than be out-earned

Among the married mothers, the study showed that married black mothers are more likely to be primary breadwinner moms than to be mothers whose husbands have the higher income. Of the married women who out-earn their husbands, ten percent are black. Comparatively, only 6 percent of the couples in which the husband is the primary breadwinner include married black women.

This is not surprising given the fact that, according to National Center for Education Statistics, the largest gender difference in college enrollments was among black students as black females accounted for 64 percent of the total black undergraduate enrollment. Further, as of May 2013, 11.2 percent of black women over the age of 20 were unemployed compared to 13.5 percent of black men in that same age demographic, a percentage point difference that was almost four times that of whites.

Is the end of marriage coming?

So what do these statistics with respect to the rising economic power of women and dwindling economic power of men mean for society?

Stanford Law School Professor Ralph Richard Banks has asserted that these trends may signal the end of marriage as the bedrock social institution in the U.S. African-Americans, who have experienced the greatest gender status shifts, are the canary in the coal mine heralding, not just the reevaluation and re-configuration of marriage, but the slow withering away of the once-universal institution.

While many media outlets have portrayed these shifts in the meaning and stability of marriage in a negative way, it might be the case that African-Americans’ familiarity with fiscal crisis and blended families makes this group better equipped to create enduring marriages despite these social evolutions.

African-American women cope well with “mancession” 

Lisa Brateman, a psychotherapist and relationship specialist in New York City, told theGrio that among her clients of all races, African-American wives seemed the most resilient in dealing with the “mancession” and new era of the breadwinner mom.

“In general, African-American women were less likely to experience paralyzing devastation after their spouses experienced job loss,” she said. “They just swung into action because they just seemed accustomed to doing everything and anything to make life work.  In some ways, they seemed to not have the expectation that a man would financially support them all the time, so although they were just as vulnerable and saddened as other wives, they were also more resilient.”

(Continue Reading @ The Grio…)

The post Black women as ‘breadwinner moms’ appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

The imagery is hilarious, but it also highlights how diverse – and sometimes inaccurate – perceptions of women’s colleges are.

I am often asked why I chose to attend and graduate from Bennett College, a historical black institution for women of color. The answer is complex and involves a mixture of CNN, Dr. Julianne Malveaux and scholarships, but the freedom and doubt from which the question is posed is the issue. The real question should be: Why not?

Women’s colleges are rooted in traditions that promote empowerment, sisterhood, and the intelligence of women. Some might question the relevance of women’s colleges in a society where women are making strides toward gender parity, but statistics show that women’s colleges such as Bennett and Spelman College are responsible for sending over 50 percent of Black women to graduate programs in the sciences.

Women’s colleges encourage students to thrive and excel in leadership positions often reserved for men on co-ed campuses.

Elisabeth Pfeiffer, a student at Scripps College, a women’s institution in Claremont, Calif., found a plethora of leadership positions at her institution.

I think Scripps has inspired its students to recognize the abilities they have, and further develop them with more confidence, becoming passionate leaders in their fields. I am currently president of two clubs on campus, which I both founded. I also helped to organize a food for thought speaker series for my food politics class and hope to plan more sustainability events on campus in the future.

Before coming to Scripps, I never envisioned that I would take on such leadership roles. Maybe I could have done the same at a co-ed campus, but I’m not so sure. It may not be widely known, but women’s colleges have been known to instill a sense of leadership in their students.

She also makes a valid point regarding the alum that women’s colleges produce. Pfeiffer writes, “graduates of women’s colleges comprise more than 20 percent of women in Congress and are 30 percent of a Businessweek list of rising women in corporate America.”

Women colleges produce phenomenal alum with the confidence to tackle their respective fields with no fear of male competition. The insulated bubble of brilliant students, professors, administrators and staff offers women an emotional stability often not afforded at co-ed institutions.

Studies have proven that all-women institutions are beneficial to the emotional stability and intellectual capability of women in five key ways: smaller class sizes promotes participation, the environments are conducive to high self-esteem, satisfaction is increased when students connect with other women, graduation rates are higher, and the promotion of traditional male disciplines (i.e. the sciences), enables women to earn more in their lifetime when they attend all-women institutions.

All-women institutions provide women with a voice and the confidence to thrive in a male-dominated world.

Women’s colleges are considered academic convents for many that misunderstand their purpose. This, combined with lower enrollment and lack of funding, has forced some institutions to consider co-educational enrollment or risk closure. Wilson College in Chambersburg, Penn. is now co-ed after fiscal and managerial issues resulted in major budget deficits. Enrolling men increased retention numbers and kept the college from closing.

The number of women’s college is also shrinking. There are fewer than 50 left in the United States. But as Forbes contributor Rachel Hennessey points out, there are few spaces as inclusive as colleges dedicated to the progress of women.

A women’s college is not a place where students “hide out to collectively agonize” over gender issues. It’s a place where students encourage one another to be educated about feminist history. It’s a place where students dare to defy gender norms. It’s a place where students come to engage in leadership roles that they may not otherwise have had access to.

Physical and social separation from men is not the goal of a women’s college; today almost all are in consortiums or close proximity to co-ed colleges. The goal is to foster a community in which women have greater access to engage in a variety of opportunities. Of course women can rise to leadership roles in co-ed environments too. Attending a women’s college is simply one of many avenues — a fit for some and not others — by which to reach the mutual goal of all females: social equality.

Chime in Clutchettes and gents: What do you make of the decline in women’s colleges?

The post The Benefits of Women’s Colleges appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

That had a major impact since my mother was and is rather homophobic and I am rather gay. It was a bit traumatic since I was under the impression the meeting was to talk about my grades or my behavior –- not who I had crushes on.

That wasn’t what hurt me the most, though.

My school nurse and I had two interactions that have stuck in my mind for the past 13 years that I’m now willing to acknowledge as painful. The first was when she basically told me my breasts were too big and to cover them. I went to her for something unrelated, just for her to tell me my shirt was too tight, I should be wearing a bra and that she’d bring me some T-shirts the next day. She gave me some tie-dye T-shirts from a camp and told me to wear those instead.

I did have big breast for my age (36C at the time) and as they got bigger, the adults in my school were quick to tell me what shirts not to wear. I left middle school a 44DD and with an image in my mind of what the normal teenager looked like — and it wasn’t like me. The adults around me, especially my nurse, made sure they reinforced that.

Just what I asked for, right?

My peers didn’t make things easier for me either. They’d ask me how it felt to have big breasts, sometimes even hitting them and joking that maybe I’d get breast cancer because they “heard constantly punching boobs gave you breast cancer.” What?!?!

The last people I’d turn to in school were my nurses and teachers. After all –- they made it clear that my chest was a problem. I remember once I was even told by the secretary in the office to change into a gym T-shirt because I shouldn’t be wearing shirts “like that.”

It was a tank top, the same sort of tank top 70% of the other girls were wearing in June. Go figure.

The next incident happened the very next school year. I hopped on the scale in her office; she looked at it and told me to stay there. As I waited, she started looking through my files. Glancing back to the number on the scale in shock, she said words that will remain in my head forever: “What happened?”

I had gained weight, a lot, in a short amount of time. Instead of talking to me about any feelings I had about that or asking any sort of question — she picked up the phone and called my mother. That went just as well as any other phone call home and it all ended with me feeling an immense amount of shame about the way I looked.

Students usually get phone calls home for disciplinary reasons or to tell parents about detentions and suspensions — not for this. That was my first real introduction to fat shaming as well.

Oh, and another thing. She was white and I’m black. Without giving a history lesson, in the United States (both past and present) the black female body has been a site of exploitation, objectification and has been seen as hypersexual. In 6th grade I didn’t realize like I do now the impact of a white woman calling out the size of my body and its parts. I wonder if that ever crossed her mind as well.

The middle of 7th grade, right before I got the call home

Here we are years later and after a really great suggestion, I wrote a letter to that nurse, Mrs. E. I decided to follow through with the suggestion mainly because it’s time to start forgiving certain people in my past and she was a person who really hurt me.

Writing a letter didn’t mean I forgave her with the stroke of the keys though. Writing a letter made me sit with feelings that were coming up and gave me a chance to face them once again. Once you’re able to face something again, it can be dealt with — I chose forgiveness this time around.

The letter to my middle school nurse may or may not ever reach her, who knows. I did my part though, I acknowledged that my body wasn’t a problem when I was younger and it was the adults around me that made it a problem. I spoke that truth to myself and publicly spoke that truth to her as well.
It takes sexualization to make something sexual –- a child wearing a tight shirt would mean nothing unless it was made into something sexual by an adult. A lot of women are sexualized, shamed and embarrassed at a young age and it has impacted us in ways we may never realize. The way it manifests itself in our lives play out in various ways and that’s the scariest part; sometimes we don’t even know how someone’s thwarted perception of our younger selves harms our image of ourselves as an adult.
Now that I’ve spoken my truth to the person who hurt me, I’m doing my best to speak it to myself — to look in the mirror and say, “You’re beautiful just the way you are.”

This post originally appeared on XOJane. Republished with permission. Click here for more
Justine Powell on XOJane!

The post It Happened To Me: My Middle School Nurse Shamed Me For Having Big Boobs appeared first on Clutch Magazine.

I immediately tweeted his wisdom nugget using the required hashtag and then pondered his words. Social media has replaced real-life networking for some people. Twitter, Facebook and other platforms allow us to network at our comfort level, deciding when and with whom to converse and setting the terms of engagement. However, tons of professionals use Twitter and LinkedIn to connect, but never follow-up after the acceptance of an invitation.

There are tangible benefits to building a solid network. I’ve built powerful friendships, partnerships and mentorships through social media, but the actual connection was solidified through real-world interaction. Attending a conference with a writer friend or Skyping once-a-week to discuss business ventures strengthens relationships more than typing 140-characters ever will.

Social media has indisputably changed one-to-one communication, but it has not replaced it. The world outside of Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn requires more than a tweet and status update to connect. Miriam Salpeter, a social media strategist and author, offers 10 tips for networking outside of social media.

It never gets easier to walk into a room full of strangers and begin introducing yourself, but Salpeter’s advice assists in turning a stranger into a contact.

Become a sleuth.

Before attending in-person events, find out who else plans to attend. This is easier than ever if you received an online invitation.

Heading to a backyard barbecue? There’s bound to be an e-invitation listing the guests and their RSVPs. Attending a professional event? Organizers likely used a social application to record responses and make them available to invitees. Many event organizers post their plans via LinkedIn’s “Events” application. (Access it through LinkedIn’s “More” tab, then navigate to “Applications” to add it to your profile.) Colleagues and potential mentors may have listed themselves as attending, which provides easy access to click through their profiles to learn about their backgrounds and interests.

Research several targets.

It’s not stalking; many make a habit of Googling people they expect to meet before an in-person encounter. It’s commonplace to review LinkedIn profiles, Twitter streams, and even Facebook pages owned by potential networking contacts. Focus first on professional information: Learn where people attended school, where they worked, and spend time reviewing their professional bios, or LinkedIn summaries. Make sure you have a complete LinkedIn profile in case anyone is researching you.

Look for some common personal touch points. Are there any common connections? Do they belong to public, online group-focused hobbies you enjoy? Make a note of any potential talking points.

Search for recent press.

Have their organizations been in the news? What about the contacts themselves? Have they recently been quoted in a professional journal or online newsletter? Most people are flattered when new colleagues mention a quote or comment of theirs that received positive press. And doing so also makes it clear a job-seeker is on top of industry news, which never hurts.

Make a list of several conversation starters.

If it’s uncomfortable meeting new people, advance research and planning will come in very handy at the moment a great contact extends a handshake. Maybe the person enjoys skydiving and you do too. Work the topic into the conversation. It’s not necessary to say, “In researching your background, I noticed you enjoy jumping from planes; so do I.” Even in an age when it’s easy to find out anything about other people, this might seem a bit aggressive. Instead, once niceties are exchanged, feel free to comment, “Wow…This weather is great for skydiving. I hope it lasts until the weekend.” The new contact will likely pick up the topic and presto—a natural conversation ensues.

Practice.

There’s a reason “practice makes perfect.” If conversing with strangers is uncomfortable, spend some time role-playing with friends, a pet, or in front of a mirror. Make a list of things to say. It helps to prepare to discuss topics with buzz. See the latest movies, read some in-demand books, and watch or read the news before the event.

Don’t ask for help.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but you should avoid asking for help when meeting people for the first time. Do not wear a metaphorical “J” for job-seeker on your chest by highlighting your job-search needs. Make a point to have an engaging, upbeat conversation about non-work topics that leads to a more formal follow-up meeting.

Be a good listener.

Ask plenty of questions. Most enjoy talking about themselves. Be the person who wants to know more about new contacts. Nod, smile, and do everything possible to leave a favorable impression. A good conversation where the other person feels valued and heard is likely to lead to another meeting.

Request a meeting.

It’s so much easier to have a professional conversation in a quiet, one-on-one setting where people are not hovering around, waiting to talk to your contact. After a great introduction and casual conversation, ask for another meeting and arrange an informational interview. If the interaction is lively and pleasant, most people will at least agree to hear from you again.

Seek the best ways to reconnect.

Some people monitor Twitter or LinkedIn religiously. Others prefer voice mail or emails. Ask about the best time to reach your new friends and contacts. Avoid frustration: Use the preferred methods, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

Follow up.

It’s a shame to research and plan to meet new people, have engaging conversations, and leave without contact information and plans to get in touch. Don’t waste opportunities to make the most of in-person meetings. If the contact agreed to meet at a later date, make a point to immediately firm up a meeting time.

What networking advice would you recommend Clutchettes and gents?

The post Network to Net Worth: 10 Steps for Connecting Outside of Social Media appeared first on Clutch Magazine.