I’m a little late to the debate. It’s funny that I happened to read this article today. A friend of mine on FB posted a question today — To have a long marraige, is it more important to be committed to the person or the union? I posed this question to my husband and we have both been pondering it all day.
In reality, I don’t see anything wrong with the idea of a “wifey” — but that man, and specifically that woman must know the role they play in that person’s life. Being a wifey is not the same thing as being a wife — and if the two are comfortable with the situation, then blessings to them. Because the thing is — everyone does not want to be married, for whatever reason.
However, a woman that wants to be a wife needs to go into her relationship with this in mind. You have to understand that being a wife includes all of those hard and ugly moments and you cannot walk away.
A couple of people have made comments that if you are committed, then it doesn’t matter. I think it is wonderful that people are committed to each other and stay together for decades… but they are not married and they have not made the same committment. Marraige is more than a piece of paper — it is a legal institution — and it makes it difficult to walk away. And that is purposeful.
When you take that oath to each other, in addition to making the committment to that person, you make a committment to that union — with the understanding that you are now bound to each other. You have consciously committed yourself to the higher purpose of keeping the Union together; and that is an everday job with no vacation. And I’m sure others would argue that committment is committment… And I reply, why not get married – because without that legal committment – everyone is absolutely free to “do me” without regard to the union. Sidebar: I know some of you are thinking married people act crazy and dow what they want. I am well aware of this fact; we are speaking about principles.
So the long and short of it — women if you want to be “his woman” and don’t mind the insecurity of that wifey position — go for it. Just make it your decision and not a role you play because you want to stay with him. if you are trying to wear the ring — speak up and make your expectations known. “If he ain’t wit it, he ain’t for you!”
A Wifey is a woman who has been with her man over 10 years and still is not married. It can also be a term that a guy calls his call friend who he is really into and he might have side chicks but wifey trumps them all.
A Wife- Is the homemaker, the back bone, the lover the friend, the leasor or the leasee, the woman that everybody knows about etc.
But what you are talking about is hoe that messes with a married man. The hoe might have the title of girlfriend but definitely not wifey.
Marriage is a ‘contract’. Ladies may not like it, but that’s exactly what it is. It serves no purpose for a man who is educated, successful, and able to care for himself. Ladies, not all men are playas, we just don’t like the attitudes women have toward the union. When I read the comments here I am thankful I have never walked down that Isle. Marriage is ultimately a contract that enables a woman to take from a man for the rest of his life regardless of HER actions. Please. If we’re going to discuses the maturely let’s be objective here. As a former bartender for 15 years, I saw many ‘upright’ and ‘morally respectable’ women pull their nickers down for a night of wanton anonymous debauchery. So BOTH sexes are guilty of the issues facing marriage today.
Marriage, on the other hand, it is everything for a woman. security in life, because the workforce, although it is better than the 1960′s, still discriminates against women. Women are taught at a young age to equate the validity of a relationship by marriage. Quantify the legitimacy of sex by the promise of marriage. White dresses, limousines, horse drawn carriages… How many other romantic ideals can I summon visually for you.
Now.. that being said.. the most successful people I know are married. Their relationships have hit the wall like any other.. but both people understand what marriage really is. It’s a partnership through life. No piece of paper will make it work. it may legally validate it, but it guarantees nothing for anyone.
Partnership. 2 people working together to better themselves and their families. They understand the consequences of infidelity and disrespect. Some people have so little respect for themselves that they will never find it because it’s simply beyond their realm of possibility. Even some reading this right now.
Attraction may bring them together, love, may bind them, but it’s respect of that partnership that allows them to endure. Because marrying for love alone is one of the biggest mistakes people make.
I’m a little late to the debate. It’s funny that I happened to read this article today. A friend of mine on FB posted a question today — To have a long marraige, is it more important to be committed to the person or the union? I posed this question to my husband and we have both been pondering it all day.
In reality, I don’t see anything wrong with the idea of a “wifey” — but that man, and specifically that woman must know the role they play in that person’s life. Being a wifey is not the same thing as being a wife — and if the two are comfortable with the situation, then blessings to them. Because the thing is — everyone does not want to be married, for whatever reason.
However, a woman that wants to be a wife needs to go into her relationship with this in mind. You have to understand that being a wife includes all of those hard and ugly moments and you cannot walk away.
A couple of people have made comments that if you are committed, then it doesn’t matter. I think it is wonderful that people are committed to each other and stay together for decades… but they are not married and they have not made the same committment. Marraige is more than a piece of paper — it is a legal institution — and it makes it difficult to walk away. And that is purposeful.
When you take that oath to each other, in addition to making the committment to that person, you make a committment to that union — with the understanding that you are now bound to each other. You have consciously committed yourself to the higher purpose of keeping the Union together; and that is an everday job with no vacation. And I’m sure others would argue that committment is committment… And I reply, why not get married – because without that legal committment – everyone is absolutely free to “do me” without regard to the union. Sidebar: I know some of you are thinking married people act crazy and dow what they want. I am well aware of this fact; we are speaking about principles.
So the long and short of it — women if you want to be “his woman” and don’t mind the insecurity of that wifey position — go for it. Just make it your decision and not a role you play because you want to stay with him. if you are trying to wear the ring — speak up and make your expectations known. “If he ain’t wit it, he ain’t for you!”
I think you have the terminologies confused.
A Wifey is a woman who has been with her man over 10 years and still is not married. It can also be a term that a guy calls his call friend who he is really into and he might have side chicks but wifey trumps them all.
A Wife- Is the homemaker, the back bone, the lover the friend, the leasor or the leasee, the woman that everybody knows about etc.
But what you are talking about is hoe that messes with a married man. The hoe might have the title of girlfriend but definitely not wifey.
Marriage is a ‘contract’. Ladies may not like it, but that’s exactly what it is. It serves no purpose for a man who is educated, successful, and able to care for himself. Ladies, not all men are playas, we just don’t like the attitudes women have toward the union. When I read the comments here I am thankful I have never walked down that Isle. Marriage is ultimately a contract that enables a woman to take from a man for the rest of his life regardless of HER actions. Please. If we’re going to discuses the maturely let’s be objective here. As a former bartender for 15 years, I saw many ‘upright’ and ‘morally respectable’ women pull their nickers down for a night of wanton anonymous debauchery. So BOTH sexes are guilty of the issues facing marriage today.
Marriage, on the other hand, it is everything for a woman. security in life, because the workforce, although it is better than the 1960′s, still discriminates against women. Women are taught at a young age to equate the validity of a relationship by marriage. Quantify the legitimacy of sex by the promise of marriage. White dresses, limousines, horse drawn carriages… How many other romantic ideals can I summon visually for you.
Now.. that being said.. the most successful people I know are married. Their relationships have hit the wall like any other.. but both people understand what marriage really is. It’s a partnership through life. No piece of paper will make it work. it may legally validate it, but it guarantees nothing for anyone.
Partnership. 2 people working together to better themselves and their families. They understand the consequences of infidelity and disrespect. Some people have so little respect for themselves that they will never find it because it’s simply beyond their realm of possibility. Even some reading this right now.
Attraction may bring them together, love, may bind them, but it’s respect of that partnership that allows them to endure. Because marrying for love alone is one of the biggest mistakes people make.