With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, 8 days to be exact…but who’s counting, I thought it fitting to share with you a story one of my male friends shared about the moment he knew he was in love with his lady (who also happens to be my good friend).  It’s a simple, yet hilarious story about a guy who fell in love with a girl…flaws and all.  Enjoy!

Picture it.  Random Saturday night in Brooklyn.

Seven men and women are enjoying a casual evening filled with fun, laughter, Henny and Patron.

As the night progresses, the conversation turns to relationships.  A young woman turns to the group and asks “In any relationship, past or present, how did you know you were in love?”

One young man, black, handsome, educated, successful and there with his fiancé, speaks up and says “I remember the exact moment I knew I was in love.”  The young woman who posed the question responds with a doubtful look on her face, “The exact moment?,” she says.  “Yes, the exact moment,” the young man answers back.

The room goes silent.

Sensing everyone is eager to hear the tale, he begins telling his story.

“It was a few years ago.  I was getting ready for work, dragging my feet as usual, but this particular morning I was running late because my girlfriend had spent the night.  She had the day off so I was heading to the slave ship and leaving her at my crib.  I’m about to bounce, so I give her a kiss goodbye, tell her I’ll talk to her later and to call if she needs anything.  I’m about fifteen minutes out and for once making good time on the Belt when I realize I forgot some papers I need for an important meeting I had.  I’m thinking ‘F*ck!’  So I turn around and head back to my crib.”

At this moment, the young man’s fiancé begins to look slightly uncomfortable.  Her face looks flushed and she discreetly tries to get her fiancé’s attention.  It doesn’t work.  He continues with his story.

“So I get back to my crib, hop out the whip and run straight into my bedroom to grab the papers off the desk.”

The fiancé’s discomfort is clearly visible – to anyone paying attention.  The entire room is engrossed in his story and fail to notice her desperate attempts to cut it short.  She drops her fork in an attempt at a diversion.  No dice.  She tries bringing up the fact that they’re practically out of alcohol to help change the topic, but instead the group collectively decides to go to the liquor store later and encourages the young man to finish.  She looks defeated.  And worried.

“I’m standing at my desk making sure I have all the papers I need, when out of the corner of my eye…”

The fiancé now has her hands over her face and her head in her lap.

It’s February and if your nearest Target or Wal*Mart is like mine, it’s been drowned in a sea of red and pink for Valentine’s Day since Christmas. Some of you ladies may be brimming with delight at the thought of having flowers delivered to your job by that special someone or having a romantic dinner with the beloved boyfriend or husband. Others aren’t. Valentine’s Day serves as a means to celebrate the gift of love, yet remind the single that they are—ahem, single. Who says that’s a bad thing?

So this year, instead of re-enacting the dinner scene from Something New with your girls, try something new. The day is what you make of it. Try these tactics to make it special.

Throw a singles party.
If you aren’t the only one of your friends who doesn’t have a significant other, why not celebrate that and possibly make a love connection? Get each of your friends to invite another person who’s single and meet up for a house party. Make it a potluck, bring games that keep grown folks’ attention (what’s a house party without Taboo?), some great music and of course, libations! Check out www.evite.com or www.ehow.com for more ideas on how to make your party a hit.

Volunteer.
No matter what day it is, there’s always someone in need. Before you begin your one-woman pity party, get off your tush and lend a helping hand. Make someone’s day special by assisting with a Valentine’s Day party at a children’s hospital or nursing home. Look for volunteer opportunities in your area at www.volunteermatch.org or www.idealist.org.

Take time to reflect.
Whether you like it or not, there’s a reason you’re single. Did you invest too much in a previous relationship? Were you addicted to relationships (It’s possible!)? Have you been reluctant to get involved in a relationship again? Think about those questions and answer them honestly. If you own a journal, read entries from Valentine’s Day last year and evaluate past events and progress. Being single is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s what women and men sometimes need to find clarity.

Find the positives of being single and write them down. Follow it up with a list of things you would like to accomplish before getting back into a committed relationship. Sign up for that dance class you’ve been thinking about, get your crochet on or hit up the latest nightlife spot/restaurant in your city. Try the unthinkable—go alone (gasp!).

Use this time to complete that dreaded eHarmony or Match.com profile you have put off for months. Hey, what do you have to lose?

Hang out with friends.
If house parties with co-ed friends aren’t your thing, get out and get active! Plan activities with friends that don’t include plotting on your ex or watching Love Jones for the 25th time. Try a competitive activity like laser tag or cosmic bowling. Be creative and don’t forget to have some fun!

Treat (love) yourself.
You cannot truly love someone else until you love yourself. Being single doesn’t mean your physical or mental being should suffer. Pray and meditate before you begin your day to clear your mind. Treat yourself to a new hairstyle, a manicure and pedicure or a massage. If retail therapy is your niche, find some cute, yet inexpensive gifts for yourself at www.thisnext.com.

Finally, look in the mirror. Smile. And say “I LOVE you!” It sounds just as good coming from you as it does anyone else!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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