“Hey, how are you doing,” said the female voice on the other end. Devin knew who it was right away. “Hey” was all that was needed to bring back months of thoughts and agonizing, starting with the day he deleted Sharon’s number from his phone.
“Deleting somebody’s name from your phone does not mean you forget the number, it only spares you the sight from having to see their name when you are scrolling through the phone,” he told those who questioned why he axed Sharon’s name from his phone. Illogical, maybe. But he needed any help he could get to annihilate those memories. Invariably his talks with those he confided in about his relationship woes would ultimately beg the same question:
“If she came back to you, changed and truly contrite, would you take her back?”
For Devin, the issue was not “if” she came back. He knew she would. All of his past females generally did. He didn’t see that changing, because he knows he is a catch. He knows he is a catch because he talks to a lot of people, and people tend to have relationship issues. People trusted him enough to confide in him about their most intimate details, so Devin became a student of the “game.”
He learned what females want. Intrigue. Realness. Attraction. To feel special. Basic traits he applied naturally, without consciousness. That is what made him a catch. However, his confidence had taken a hit as of late. It’s hard to feel confident when your loved one preferred another guy, he thought. But a few trips to the dating scene mitigated that. “Yeah, time will heal. Just move forward bruh,” he affirmed to himself.
So all of these thoughts sprung to mind like toads after rain when Sharon called to reconcile. Devin sat there on the floor with his Verizon cellular on his ear next to his bed , listening to Sharon chronicle her guilt, dates, and realizations in their time apart. She talked about her inability to fully express herself to him before. She promised undying commitment if Devin would allow her to be apart of his life again.
She professed her plans and desires to start a family with him. It was all a blur to Devin, who was witnessing the “if she came back” part he dreaded.
Why now? Is she sincere? Could he even do it if he wanted to? These questions would be answered with time. But one thing Devin did know was that he loved her, and developed a bond with Sharon that was real. That was all he knew, and it was a start. But it didn’t alleviate his concerns. Love is overrated, he muttered to himself during that conversation.
Consciously reluctant to take her back, he didn’t understand why something in him told him to acquiesce.
So they started to talk everyday again. Most of the conversation was strained, with Devin forcing himself to talk to her on most occasions. He often said snide comments and continued to ask questions about her past motives. This constant barrage of “rear-view mirror” looking chipped away at Sharon’s resolve, forcing her to openly question if he could get over his heartbreak. He didn’t know if he could move on with her, so how could she?
But she was motivated by love and faith.
Faith was the only way she could stay so motivated to make it right, because Devin did not make things easy for her. Like most people who love, they see people for who they are and have the potential to be. Over time, Sharon’s rock-like insistence and constant ingratiation wore on him like waves on a beach.
Devin wanted to believe that all was forgotten and that his former beauty had reformed. Sharon had shown all the signs, but Devin saw no need to rush himself internally. Besides, this charade would end soon, he thought. Such negative thinking is typical of the bitter but Sharon’s persistence made him question whether he was holding a grudge unnecessarily.
So he began to introspect. Changes came.
Devin noticed that throughout his grief he failed to see the silver linings in all of the snafu that has surrounded his life. Fear had once governed his views on relationships. He had known the realities of infidelity through other experiences. His parents had divorced because of it (among other things). He was so afraid of being cheated on that it had become an obsession to him.
He was convinced that his luck would run out (he had been in three serious relationships prior and he himself had cheated once). Karma would show her head. Devin knew this, and it happened. But through his introspection he realized a freedom that he never felt before, as well as a deep gratitude towards God.
Grateful because he no longer had to worry about being hurt, because he wasn’t afraid of it anymore. Grateful that God allowed this to happen, so that he could fully know that fear is the biggest deterrent to the success of any endeavor. Grateful because above all, he knew that he was made a stronger person because of what happened. Grateful because he could authentically mentor to anybody who dealt with a broken heart – and that is a multitude.
So he felt no need to hold on to past hurt. It served no purpose.
Time passed, and Devin and Sharon would move on. Their bond became stronger than ever, and there was an aura of supernatural peace surrounding their relationship. Ironically, Devin grew to trust her more than he ever did. Perhaps it was a lack of fear. He no longer cared about being hurt; therefore the thought never got the light of day inside his brain.
His heart and eyes looked toward the future, walking and growing with God. Everything else came secondary, including a future wife named Sharon. This order of priorities led to more peace and a perspective that only a lesson of pain could instill.
Sharon and Devin have currently been happily married for 15 years, with two children. Their relationship story serves to provide hope and encouragement for anybody that chooses to believe in love and transcending the transgressions of one another.