picThere a few key steps you can follow when going through a breakup in order to possibly avoid experiencing more heartache during the breakup. They have helped me in the past and I hope they help someone else. Please feel free to add on more.

1. No More Honey Pot For Him
When you are in a committed relationship for an extended period of time, you become accustomed to having sex with that same person. So much so, that the idea of having sex with someone else isn’t enticing. I have been there. I broke up with my ex fiance and continued to have sex with him. Trust me, it did not make the break-up easier. Although, I was comfortable with him sexually, he knew my body, my likes and dislikes, I had to put an end to it.

2. Give Yourself Time To Be Away From Him
When you first break up with your man, your immediate reaction is to want to be with him. This is natural, because you once were in a relationship with him and he was a big part of your life. You are accustomed to being in his company. However, you have to fight the desire to be in his company. I am a firm believer that while going through a break up, you should spend less time with your ex. Continuing to spend time with him will only make the break up itself more difficult. Now is the time to ween yourself from him in order to not indulge in him more.

3. Date When You Are Ready
Some of your girlfriends might encourage you to get yourself back in the dating game immediately. I disagree. Whenever I experienced a big break up, per my girlfriends advice, I would try to rush into the dating scene and would spend the whole time while on the date thinking of my ex, comparing the new guy to him. It could be from the way he hugged me, to the way he spoke, to the way he walked. All, I could think was, such and such would always hug me this way and such and such’s voice is deeper. It ended up making my break up process a lot harder and made me miss him more.

4. Invest Time In Yourself
You probably spent a lot of your relationship investing into your ex. This is natural. It is what people do when they are in a relationship. They invest in the other person’s happiness and life overall. Now is the time to invest in YOURSELF. You only have to worry about yourself and your own happiness. Take advantage of this time and learn more about yourself. Spend some time alone and do things that YOU enjoy. If you want to spend more time with your girlfriends feel free to do that as well. However, now is the best time to get back into yourself.

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  • Great post! Great advice!

  • I would also suggest to remove anything that reminds you of him, i.e. photos, momentos, thing that when you see or hear about it evokes past emotions. And really…you have to stay extremely busy! An idle mind is the devil’s playground and when ur just chillen at the crib with nothing going on you fall back into memories.

  • cds07c

    Thanks Clutch this is just what I needed, considering I just got out of a relationship 4 days ago..

  • C.R.

    And find new place to hangout. Do not go to place you know he is going to be! :-)