Recently, Diddy stopped by “The View” to promote the new Dirty Money album, Last Train to Paris, and dished with Barbara and her crew about why he’s never been married.
Although Puff has six children by three different women, he says that he’s not ready to settle down just yet.
“The reason of it, why I’m not married yet, I don’t have the exact reason. Some things in life, you don’t have the exact reason why you’re not. I know that I haven’t been ready; I know there’s other reasons in my life. My father was killed when I was 3-years-old, and my mother was a very strong woman and she said, ‘Well I loved your father and I’m not gonna have another man around. There’s not gonna be anyone else around, and that’s the way it’s gonna be.’ But then on the flip side, I never got a chance to see the way a family lives.”
During the interview Diddy says that each of the women with whom he has children would have made great wives, but he just couldn’t commit.
“Life isn’t something you can predict. All you can do is try to evolve and try to learn. I think that every woman that I was with, that I had a child with, they did deserve for me to marry them. But there’s things going on in my life . . . I’m not gonna say it’s all the way me, but I’ll take responsibility as a man.”
Men having multiple kids by different women is nothing new. I’m sure that most of us could rattle off a dozen stories about men who are/were proverbial rolling stones. However, I can’t help but think of the double standards that come up in situations like this.
I remember when the news broke about Erykah Badu’s third pregnancy. The blog comments were vicious, calling her everything from a “hoodrat” to a “whore” simply because she’d birthed three children by three different fathers. Never mind the circumstances surrounding their birth or the length of the relationships into which they were born, she was deemed stupid for opening her legs. I guess in the minds of some Badu’s a whore and Diddy is . . . unlucky in love?
Although some might think that Diddy discussing his aversion to marriage isn’t important, I’d argue that it is. Hip-hop is not a culture that openly celebrates love and commitment (Exhibit A: Jay & Beyonce), so it is no wonder that we have a whole generation of young people who believe that “I don’t love them hoes” constitutes proper relationship etiquette.
Many women are rightly upset over how some men treat them; however, we consume, dance to, and buy the same music and images which promote dysfunctional relationships (and stay calling us every name in the book, except “Queen”).
Whatever the real reasons for Diddy’s commitment issues may be, I’m glad that he discussed them publically. Perhaps this will be a catalyst for an open and honest discussion on why some of our relationships look the way they do.