One of the greatest things about being a grown woman is the ability to decide at any given moment to change–and it doesn’t have to be at the beginning of the year. Later for doing the same things over and over again in some insanely redundant cycle and expecting a different result. Amid uninhibited tears and an acoustic guitar in her seminal ‘Unplugged’ performance, our girl Lauryn Hill said, “Anything that ain’t growing is dead.” Today, we call death to a static, non-progressive life.
From cliché trends, dated relationship habits, and all the below, here’s a list of things we are categorically and unequivocally off!
1. Excuses to Keep the ‘Frenemie’ – We all have the friend who in real life, we actually can’t stand. We talk about her to our other more genuine friends and force ourselves to pick up her calls. But for whatever reason, we just haven’t broken ties with her. If it’s not healthy friendship, fix it or let it go.
2. Minx Nails – Thanks to Beyonce and other starlets, Minx nails took off like a rocket and suddenly it became cool circa spring 08′ to pay an insane amount for a manicure with a life expectancy of umm…four-five days. We’re officially off Minx nails. Opt for a lasting calgel manicure or a classic polish in a hot creamy finish.
3. Faux Socialites -You know the thirsty to near parched people on the scene at every single after-work event dressed to the nines at 7pm? Umm…do they have jobs?
4. ‘Loubous’ Just Because – Louboutins may be the official society go-to shoe in some circles–but gosh, am I the only one against mass uniformity? There are loads of designer shoe brands. Opt for whatever shoe you feel the sexiest in. This spring, try shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood, Rachel Roy, and Ron Donovan.
5. Mediocre Weave – Ladies, it’s tragic joke to think you can get a deal with a weave. You shouldn’t accept everything with a clearance tag–most certainly not your weave. Save your bucks, and go for the best of Remy. Try Indique Hair or Extensions Plus. Sure, you can get your girl from around the way to sew it in. And oh, please do see these rules for keeping it up.
6. The ‘Text and No Call’ – You met him months ago and he’s yet to actually call you–but you receive loads of one-liner, non-stop texts. You even became froggish enough in an interpersonal social media-driven world and leaped at calling him. Instead of answering, he texts you back just seconds later with, “What’s up?” Umm…we off that. Delete his number.
7. Holding Back Props – You see a sister on the train with flawless makeup and the sickest Mackage puffer coat with the clinched waist belt. Instead of actually telling her how dope she looks, you stare at her uttering the props in your head. Maybe next time try telling her how fly she is. It just might make her day and you a new sample sale buddy.
8. Being Afraid to Go Natural – You’ve been making excuses since undergrad. “What would my co-workers think?” “How would I maintain it?” Today there is a surplus of supportive advice and tutorials on making the transition. Stop over-thinking it and just do it!
9. Sub-Tweeting – You feeling some type a way about someone/something and you decide to tweet cryptic messages indirectly aimed at one of your followers. Your passive-aggressive approach just might make you feel better temporarily, but will it really bring real resolve to your situation?
10. Fretting Over Statistics – Change the channel and close the book. Seems everything from pop culture to the pulpit is telling Black women we’ll never be loved. Don’t fret on the “10:1”–all you need is one. Thoughts are more powerful than you think. If you keep telling yourself you’ll never have Heathcliff and Clair or Martin and Gina, you never will.