Over the past century men and women have become increasingly equal. Through the women’s rights movement, women have gained access to jobs, schools, political office, and have become an integral part of every facet of society.
Many of us enjoy freedoms and choices that our grandmothers and great-grandmothers were shut out of simply because of their gender, and we have grown up conditioned to be independent women who—above all else—have our own.
However, despite all of the progress women have made over the last century, traditional notions of gender continue to persist. And despite our cries of independence, many of us are uncomfortable doing things we feel should be handled by a man.
Case in point: Proposing marriage.
When the trailer for VH1’s “Love & Hip-Hop” began airing, many commented on the clip of Chrissy Lampkin—Jim Jones’ girlfriend—dropping to one knee and asking for his hand in marriage. A lot of us feel it is the man’s duty/job/role to propose marriage, and if he doesn’t ask the woman to marry him, he doesn’t want her.
Recently, Chrissy did an interview with blogger Necole Bitchie and discussed her decision to propose to Jim.
“I did it to let him know that I love him enough and I am proud and happy enough to display that to the world. That’s what that’s about. Eventually, we will get married. Am I rushing it? No. Of course people have opinions about me asking him to marry me, but I felt it was the right thing to do. I love him enough and I wanted to share that. It’s how I felt and what I wanted. You need to know what you’re doing with your life. You need to have direction. If that thing doesn’t happen the traditional way, it still needs to happen. So why waste your time? I figured I would cut to the chase. What are we waiting for?
“We talk about it a lot, so it’s not like it was something that wasn’t going to happen. I felt comfortable enough to ask him. It’s not like it was something that was never talked about and I jumped out the window with it. I knew that it was something we both wanted. I didn’t mind being the first one to step up. We’ve been together almost seven years”
Although I initially give Chrissy the side-eye for proposing to Jim Jones, her explanation—that she loves him enough and wanted to share it—struck a chord with me.
So ladies, if we are comfortable enough to ask a man out, pay for dates, be the financial breadwinner (or make the same amount), demand equal treatment in the workplace and at home—what’s wrong with a woman also stepping outside of the constricting gender box to express her love for her man and proposing marriage?
What say you Clutchettes? Is there anything wrong with a woman proposing to a man? Would you do it?
Let’s talk about it!