Remember that classic song that asked, “Friends…how many have them? Friends…ones we can depend on?”

Well, apparently, Whodini’s question is still valid. According to a new Self magazine poll, 84% of women admit to having a toxic friend.

The survey, which polled 18,000 women, found that although many of us have a wonderful circle of friends, most have that one friend who is just…bad.

Perhaps she is always complaining about her job or critical of your dreams. Or maybe he is only concerned about his own needs instead of yours. Whatever the case may be, toxic friendships are, unfortunately, a common occurrence.

According to Self, the top 5 toxic friends are:

• The narcissist: 65% of readers reported having a self-absorbed friend

• The chronic downer: 59% said they had an emotionally-draining pal

• The critic: 55% of respondents admitted to having an overly critical buddy

• The underminer: 45% admitted to having a friend who tries to sabotage them

• The flake 37% said they had an unreliable friend.

Although 33% of survey participants said their toxic friend was their bestie, 83% admitted they stayed friends with their toxic pal because ending the friendship would just be too difficult to undertake.

If you find yourself with a toxic buddy consider this: Does this person add value to your life and make you feel good when you hang out or do you feel drained, angry and annoyed every time you see them? If your feelings about your not-so-positive pal are mostly positive, considering taking steps to mend the friendship. But if dealing with your friend brings up negative feelings, it’s probably time to let them go.

Do you have a toxic friend? How do you deal with them? 

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  • oknow

    ok, so i have friends that are critics.. i’m a critic to but not all the time.. if you ask my opinion or want my advice or want me to help u in someway i play devils advocate and i always say b4 answering to myself (what is right, what is wrong and what is hurtful)..

    now i have some that just want to force what they believe on you.. they want you to only view things as they would because they believe they are always right.. my friend feels that what she says is law, or she believes that ppl can’t think differently.. sick of her already sad to say.. i think i’m gonna distance myself a lil.. when i tell her about it she thinks it’s a joke or like we are debating.. i think she should google debating..

  • hp

    Just had to do this recently. I realized that I was always complaining to my other friends who’d I’d known for years about this other toxic friend. I was constantly defending her and tried to include her in the circle to their disapproval. I had to question why I was even friends with this person since being around her made me miserable. She was a narcissist, would other make bitchy comments to put me down, and was a bold faced liar. Even when I called her out on her lies she kept them up. I’ve seen her run through groups of friends through the years. Being besties with one or two people and then they disappeared. Hmm…now I know why. I honestly feel bad for her though. She’s very insecure and it’s obviously the root of that behavior. The funny part is she wasted no time putting together a squad of other “girls interrupted.” More power to em.

  • Leanee Beanie

    Come to think of it, I have always had toxic friends. “Friends” who didn’t want to just let me be myself, and instead thought that if I wasn’t doing the type of stuff they did, I was “boring”. Now, my latest toxic friend is someone I love, because we have known each other since we were 10 and because she is truly a nice person. But she is so freaking self absorbed. I will never forget how some years ago, I was severely depressed after being sexually harmed, and she didn’t even realize it until I was in the hospital because every time we talked/ hung out, she only wanted to talk about her boyfriends and her social life. Most times, I know she wouldn’t really be listening when I was talking because instead of indicating that she was listening, she’d be like “Oh, ok” and then start talking about how her boyfriend stood her up or something. Now we live in different states, so it isn’t as bad as it used to be.

    • ohreally

      wow.. thank goodness u got her out of your life. i hate when i’m trying to tell my friend about my day and what’s going on in my life, you know just to get some things off of my chest and she immediately cuts me off and starts talking about something that has nothing to do w/the convo. than she says oh sorry. i just change the subject and act like i had nothing to discus..

      another friend, she’ll cut me off do the same thing and then discuss her kids, her $$$$, her bank acct, his $$$$, their jobs, blah, blah, shopping, shoes, bags, weave, blah, blah. and then we hang up.. i’m like ok, you called me to ask me what’s up but then the convo is all about u..

      can’t stand it.. i don’t bother to discuss important things.. i keep to myself now..

  • Jinx Moneypenny

    Not anymore, thankfully. No room for toxic relatives either.

  • I cleaned house recently.So, all of those negative people are out of my life.Who needs more stress?