Clutchette “B” left a great comment on our recent Lloyd video post that got me to thinking:
“…Tired of these nerdy-couldn’t-get-a-woman-without-a-record-contract boys making lame a$$ songs degrading women cause probably nobody ever wanted their socially-awkward a$$es until they had some cash. I mean, am I the only one who feels that we’ve have some sort of twisted revenge of the nerds take over among the black male celebs? Lol. Look at this dude, he joins a long list of currently famous black male nerds in the music industry: Kanye, Kid Cudi, Cee-lo, even Lil Wayne. These dudes have put a whole other spin on “nerd.” (Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it became cool finally to be nerdy and different amongst black folks – google Donald Glover’s standup on the rise of black nerds – but this ish right here has to stop). What happened to the times when nerds were sweet and kind of innocent (maybe, lol) and respectful? :) Okay, end tangent. Sigh.”
I often joke that there is a direct correlation between how hard a rapper goes at women in his music and how many women he was able to ‘pull’ before he was successful, but it is really no laughing matter. As B points out, its awesome that some of today’s artists have been able to shake up the image of Black Cool and make it a bit more inclusive, less rigid with its heteronormativity and hyper-masculinity. But the fact that these dudes get their Mike Jones on (“Back then, they didn’t want me/now I’m hot, they all on me…”) and carry the mantle of the NWAs, Snoops and all the other cats that made a career of trashing Black women is particularly disheartening.
“Back at Shaker, bitches tried to play me to the left/Now, I pick the hoes I want and give my niggas what is left”-Kid Cudi, “TGIF”
These guys are the proverbial art geeks sitting in the back of the class feeling angry that the cheerleaders keep going for the football players, while ignoring the left of center girls who thought they were pretty cool all along. And now that they have access to the spotlight and the women, instead of simply being happy to be there, they want to act a complete ass to make up for all the time that they lost. For shame. I understand that guys that who have achieved some sort of modicum of fame are often exposed to shady women who want to take advantage of them, but I also know that a man who makes it to 23, 24 before getting on has had enough life experience to understand that a few gold diggers do not define the whole of womanhood…even if these dudes were somewhat lacking in success with women beforehand.
I wish these cats…and I don’t just mean the entertainers, because I see some of these behaviors in ‘regular’ dudes as well…understood that they’ve won the game. People recognize them for their talent, style, personality, etc. They aren’t the underdogs anymore. In fact, if they have a persona that deviates from the typical ‘cool Black dude’ lane, they’ve won a bit more. But that’s not enough for them. They can’t gangbang or convincingly play tough guys, they can’t regale with tales of slanging drugs. They can complain about how Rap music is missing authenticity or how it’s lost its soul. They can get their ‘political’ steez going and talk about the plight of the people. And they can pile on women just as bad as Too Short on his best day.
Entitlement is a MF’er. You see, it isn’t that the vengeful nerds wanted unattainable women back in the day. It’s that they felt they should have them. And now that they can, they act out. It boggles the mind how men seem to forget that women aren’t simply attracted to men because they exist in our presence. Some of us are hung up on looks; others are sticklers for personality. Success, obviously, is a turn-on for some. And for most of us, being socially adept and well adjusted is a factor. A BIG factor. If you aren’t confident in your own skin, we tend to look away…unless you get a lil’ bit of shine, with which you can hide your insecurity from certain people.
Speaking of, its unfortunate how people-particularly young ones- fail to see what’s really going on behind the “yeah, bitch, who you sweating now“. These dudes are mad insecure! They need something to make themselves feel better and they find that validation through materialism, through being able to puff their chests out and by being able to sh*t on women. How dreadful.
May the Black nerd continue to shake up the game, but let the next breed come with a reverence (or, at the very least, basic human respect) for Black women. Get past your bitter past and tip your hat to the brown skinned lady with the wide rimmed glasses. She’d probably like you if all the new found ‘cool’ disappeared.