Well, my manager at said-store-that-shall-not-be-explicitly-named, got a little ticked the other day. He’s the sort of guy who wears bike chains and a little black nail polish occasionally. But not the kind who wears blouses and the same jeans as you, got it? So, he’s helping a young lady put together an outfit.
“Try this skirt, and I think it’ll look really good with this top tucked into it,” he says. Her response? -__- Straight face, blank stare. He comes over and whispers to me, “You know, if I were one of the other guys who work here, she wouldn’t even question my judgment.”
I had to empathize with him at this point. Let’s be honest, ladies: when did we decide that gay men were the purveyors of all things fashionable? From the stylist at the salon to the makeup artist at MAC, many of us head directly toward the male on duty. By virtue of being a boy who likes boys, it seems his taste becomes the Golden Standard of what is right, cute and sharp. The judgment that comes from a cross-dressing man is to be feared by ladies from LA to Miami, and many of us even take him along to approve our booty before we buy.
I’ll be the first to admit: I’ve been burned by female hairdressers in the past. Some of them have let me get out of their chair looking tore up, and had the nerve to get angry if I pointed out something wrong! This may be a gross generalization, but I’ve found that men, on the other hand, take great pride in their work. If he’s straight, he knows what a man wants to see on a woman and he therefore won’t steer you wrong. And when those big hands massage my scalp in the bowl, whoo, it’s like a physical lullaby!
But before you call me a homophobe, answer this: Does Derek J really look good squeezed like a sausage into those pumps, with the continual muffin top going on? And do Kim’s wigs really look that good for what he’s charging her? I’m just saying. Aside from the caped avenger, Andre Leon Talley, and the flawless RuPaul, why do we give our local Blaines and Antoines that much credit?
Do you trust the pretty guy behind the counter more than his, ahem, straight-laced counterpart? Why or why not?
– Driadonna Roland