I’ve been focused on work instead of socializing for the past few months, so I haven’t seen some of my friends in weeks. During this time I’ve been pretty committed to watching what I eat, making sure I hit the gym, and taking my health more seriously in general. As a result, I’ve lost a few pounds that I figured weren’t noticeable to anyone but me and the scale (I still have quite a ways to go in that area). To my surprise, those few pounds have made almost everyone I know tell me how great I look, ask what diet I’m on, and how much weight I’ve lost.

There’s something inside of me that wants to grab them by the shoulders, give them a good shake, and scream Not as much weight as you didn’t say jack about when I was gaining it instead of losing it!” 

My weight has gone up and down my entire life — I’m talking about twenty up, fifty down, eighty up, and on and on — but the one thing that’s tried and true is that people are very hesitant to express concern over my weight gain even if I’m the who brings it up, but go gaga over a loss of a few pounds that I’m not even ready to mention let alone brag about. I can’t imagine pulling a friend aside for a talk about her weight unless I felt that her health were in danger because I generally consider it rude to get that familiar with another persons body without knowing his or her relationship to it — weight loss isn’t always good news and I often feel extra uncomfortable when people so easily assume that I must be working on shedding pounds. But why are people so eager to compliment each other about losses, but are mum as church mice when it comes to the gains?

What do you think? Would you tell a friend that she’s gained or lost weight?

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  • mar

    urhm… a little bit late, but Renee, I would hate being your friend.