Over the weekend French actor Olivier Martinez confirmed that, yes, he is engaged to marry American actress Halle Berry. This would be Berry’s third trip down the aisle after her marriages to former baseball pro David Justice and middling Neo Soul crooner Eric Benet. To describe her past relationships – including the still ending one with former fashion model boyfriend Gabriel Aubry – they’ve been turbulent to say the least.
Berry is, at this moment, in the middle of a custody fight with Aubry over their 3-year-old daughter Nahla. Berry wants to take Nahla out of the country to live with her due to death threat fears. But the custody battle has been decidedly ugly. Since breaking up with Aubry various gossipy accusations and court documents have labeled the model everything from being a secret racist to physically attacking the nanny to possibly abusing his own daughter.
Recently child welfare got involved and decided Aubry needed anger management and their daughter needed therapy.
I, of course, have no clue as to what this means – other than if Berry has a long-time, close, stable, best female friend, that woman must be damn near exhausted.
It might seem counter-intuitive that when engaging in something as close and bonding as a love affair with a hot guy to wonder, “How will this affect my friends,” but if you’re a turbulent love addict, constantly dragging friends and family members through the dramatic highs and lows of your love life as if you were the only person in the world to ever have one, it can hurt your friendships.
But, you say, who needs friends when I have this hot French guy over here?
But, ah-hohoho, you do, girl. You do.
Because you’re a love addict.
I know you’re all, “Wait, Danielle, love addiction is not a real thing. That’s something people say to cover up their car crash love lives and explain why they had sex with Tiger Woods.”
Well, did it ever occur to you that those two things aren’t mutually exclusive? You can be completely pathetic AND addicted to high risk, intense, co-dependent, soul-sucking, crazy relationships that make your friends fantasize about running over your on-again, off-again ex with their cars.
Not so much because they hate the guy, but because if he’s dead you can’t go back and date him anymore.
But … but … how do I know if I’m a love addict, you say! Maybe I’m just really passionate!?
Hmm. That sounds like something a love addict would say, but to be safe, here’s a brief quiz:
- Did you get a lack of support, nurturing or attention when you were a kid creating a giant gaping hole that you’ve tried to fill with serial monogamy?
- Do you mistake intensity for intimacy – i.e., “I don’t feel like a man loves me if he doesn’t get visibly mad or jealous”?
- Do you try to avoid any rejection or abandonment, even if it’s probably for the best?
- Do you have major trust issues?
- Are you depressed?
- Do you confuse attraction, attachment and sex as things equally as essential as air, food and water?
- Do you feel worthless unless you’re in a relationship, or that you’re not “whole” unless you’re in one?
- Do you have a serious need to control others?
- Do you have a frantically driven, at times desperate, personality?
- Does sex = love for you?
- When you break up do you go out and get a new boyfriend right away to replace the guy you lost?
If you said yes to three or more of these, or if your friend actually sent this column to you, or if your name is Halle Berry – you might be a love addict.