There are a few things that are inevitable in life — death, taxes, and men trying to holla at you while you’re out and about. No matter how you look, how you’re dressed, or where you’re headed, men will go out of their way to talk to women they find attractive. And while most women will agree that they appreciate a man who has a quality approach (Respectful? Funny? A gentleman? Yes!), there is a thin line between street harassment and properly spitting game.
So, for all the fellas wondering what exactly we want (because we know you’re reading), I decided to drop a few jewels to let you know what to do and what not to do when you step to a woman.
DO Introduce Yourself – In the heated moments leading up to approaching a potential mate in the wild (*Animal Planet’s narrator voice*), as simple as manners may seem, many men have forgotten them. Don’t be that guy. Mind your manners by respectfully introducing yourself and asking her name. If you’re the hand shaking type, reach out and give her a firm grip — not one of those sucka-like soft shakes. Make good eye contact, and give her a little bit of info about yourself (nothing too deep, of course). But never make her wait until after you’ve asked for a number to try to find out what your name is. That’s an automatic fail.
DON’T Whistle, Holler, “Aye Shorty,” “Damn, Baby” or anything of the sort – unless you’re Cam’ron, there’s really no excuse to be addressing a grown-ass woman who you don’t know as “Hey Ma” in hopes of getting to know her better. Cat calls are sooooo reminiscent of the late 90s/early 2000s; it’s time to step your game up. Besides, do you really want to get to know a girl who easily accepts offers from a stranger who whistles at her from across the street and waves “come here”? If so, I see where your mind is — the gutter — and you probably want one thing — my cheeks. And what is it with dudes Up North referring to females as “sis” and abusing God’s good name in their attempts at getting the number. Example: “Damn, sis, you looking real good in them tights though. God bless you! You should let me take you out.” Ummmm, negative. If I’m your “sis,” you will not be taking me on a date. Furthermore, leave God out of this, ok?! Amen.
DO Give a Genuine Compliment – A sincere compliment is almost always a good way to break the ice, getting a girl out of defensive mode. It also shows that you’ve taken note of a detail that, perhaps, she didn’t know was so prevalent. Comments about a girl’s smile, scent, or hair — though flattering — can be pretty common, so switch it up! Instead, let her know that you noticed that one dimple in her left cheek when she laughed, or that the notes in her fragrance remind you of that amazing trip you took last year. Be creative. It’s impressive.
DON’T Make Her Feel Like a Piece of Meat – One of the worst things you can do within moments of meeting a woman is let it be known that you’ve already undressed her with your eyes. Sure, she already knows that you have, and that’s a reality that just is what it is. But it’s certainly not necessary to add insult to injury by putting her assets on the hot seat, so to speak. Avoid compliments about how nice her boobs are sitting up, the “Coke bottle” shape, or how thick her thighs look in her leggings. She knows. A woman wants to be made to feel beautiful, not like an object of sex, and certainly not so by a stranger. Keep your filthy little observations to yourself.
My Experience – I was once approached at a party by a guy who broke the ice by saying “Wow, I love your height. How tall are you?” Now, my first reaction was an outburst of laughter. It seemed like such a bizarre compliment! But, at 5’10” before my 5″ platform heels in a room filled with guys that barely hit 6 feet, it was flattering and made me feel much more comfortable. Over a year later, we’re still great friends. (And yes, he was taller than me even with my heels on. Score.)