Can men and women be friends? The debate can get pretty intense. I’ve seen a yes turn to a no more than once. I’ve seen all sorts of rules about how to make it work. They have to be friends starting at a certain age. They have to meet under certain conditions. Significant others must always be present… But, it’s never been my discussion of choice. I’ve always been one of the boys. That is, until I wasn’t.
As I’ve gotten older, relationships with other women have become far more important. I depend on my sister circles to keep me going. While my bonds with women have gotten stronger, I haven’t been able to say the same about my relationships with men. Not new ones. I still make guy friends, but not as often. Girlfriends are weary of their guys making new women friends. I respect it. Single guys aren’t really putting in a ton of effort to be the homie. Maybe there would be more men in my circle if I was coupled up, but I feel like they would be his friends.
I love my girls’ nights out and brunch dates, but I miss just hanging with the guys. One of my favorite things about being home is linking up with my boys for drinks to talk music, life, and foolery. Part of me is adjusting to the fact that things change, while another part of me feels like it shouldn’t have to be different just because we’re older. As it becomes increasingly difficult to make men friends, I’ve had to ask myself if it is necessary to have them.
How important is it for you to have guy friends? How have they evolved with age?