As part of our celebration of Awkward Black Girl’s return, we thought we’d cap off the week with a fun little quiz our fellow Clutchettes can use to assess where they fall on the awkward scale. Mind you, the response option on this quiz don’t follow as closely to the source material as some of the others we’ve done in the past. In short: this isn’t a quiz that assesses how much like J you are. Instead, it measures how likely you are to trip walking across a stage, how well you handle social situations, and you develop bonds with others. And okay, yeah. It does give you the chance to pick, once and for all, between Fred and White Jay.
1. Describe your laugh.
a. Loud, inappropriate, nervous
b. Silent. I don’t laugh so much as pantomime laughter and follow up with, “That’s funny.”
d. Light, airy, and confident
2. How well do you get along with your coworkers?
a. I don’t. Either they think I’m weird or they actively dislike me.
b. I’m not much of a team player, but I get by.
c. Pretty well. I’m never excluded from the office happy hour e-vite list.
d. I’m the star of the office!
3. How many close friends do you have?
a. Until recently, none.
b. One or two
c. Three or four
d. You can never have too many good friends. My circle is large.
4. About how long does it take you to come up with a witty rejoinder?
a. Long enough to have to keep it to myself.
b. 15-25 seconds. If I’m lucky, I can usually get a good sarcastic remark in under the wire.
c. I’m rather quick-witted, so it doesn’t take long.
d. Please. I’m already formulating my comeback before the first comment is made.
5. Are you good at your hobbies?
a. Isn’t the point of hobbies just to, like, try?
b. I’m decent, but I couldn’t quit my day job.
c. Good enough. I’ve gotten compliments.
d. Oh, I could take this act on the road.
6. Would you consider yourself to be politically correct?
a. I wish I could stop myself from being culturally inappropriate, but… no.
b. Not in my head, but out loud? Yes–for the most part.
c. Cultural sensitivity is important. I’m quite conscious of it.
d. I keep abreast of everyone’s preferred descriptors. Nobody’ll ever accuse me of racism, sexism, or homophobia on the basis of the language I use.
7. How many times a week do you publicly embarrass yourself?
a. I always stop counting after five.
b. Maybe three or four, on a bad week.
c. Every now and again.
d. Public embarrassment? That’s an oxymoron. If anything, I’ll go cry in the car.
8. How did your last crush resolve itself?
a. He dissed me in front of his friends–including his statuesque, smirking girlfriend.
b. He said he was flattered–which was unconvincing–then he thanked me and said maybe he’d see me around.
c. We dated for a while but it didn’t work out.
d. Are you kidding? We’re engaged!
9. Describe your best friend.
a. We’re just alike–complete social outcasts.
b. She’s soft-spoken but unafraid to call me on my stuff.
c. She’s far more comfortable in the public eye than I am.
d. We’re both social butterflies.
10. Let’s settle this: Fred or White Jay?
a. White Jay because he gets me.
b. White Jay because he’s thoughtful and attentive to details. Angry bird cupcakes? Come ON.
c. Fred because he’s sexy and genuine.
d. Fred because he’ll look good on my arm.