“I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love, and abundance. Then whenever doubt, anxiety, or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal and soon they’ll forget my number.” –Edith Armstrong

This weekend, I was in serious self-reflection mode. After noticing that an old flame had gotten married, I found myself wondering, “Why wasn’t it me?”

The thought was quick and caught me off guard. I didn’t want to marry him (hadn’t thought about him in years), I just wanted what he seemed to have: forever, ever.

Seeing his wedding photos sent me looking back over my life. What mistakes had I made? Who was to blame? While I realized things weren’t always my fault, I did probe my memory for lessons that I learned from my past relationships that can benefit those to come. And of instead of getting all emo, I remembered a few things:

  • Don’t allow yourself to be mistreated
  • It’s OK to be vulnerable
  • Don’t give 150 percent and allow him to give only 50
  • Value yourself at all times
  •  Don’t overthink it and have fun

Sometimes, when we see our acquaintances thriving, we want what they’ve got. While I’m not a fan of coveting your friends’ things, you can use those moments to figure out what role you played in the not-so-nice parts of your life and learn from them.

While we’ll never be perfect, and things will not always go our way, we can learn from our past mistakes and never make them again, thus unlocking the door to the things we want most from life.

Happy Monday! 

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  • HarlemLonestar

    Amen

  • Mademoiselle

    Last time I learned an old flame had gotten married, I thought “ugh, I could’ve been married to *him… good grief.” We all know it was wrong for a reason then, it would be wrong for many reasons now.

    P.S. looks can be deceiving–don’t let someone’s new life trick you into thinking they’re doing any better with themselves now than they were when you knew them.

  • Earlene

    Sometimes it’s a blessing that it was not you that he chose.