From Frugivore — “You’re prettier but she’s way sexier.” Thus started one of the worst back-handed compliments I’ve ever received. “She just knows how to use what she’s got. You’re… kinda spastic.”

The speaker was Shane, my rakishly handsome neighbor my freshman year of college. My roommates and I all had massive crushes on him which he both knew and used to his advantage. Two of my roommates were quickly out of the game, one by her own volition (she claimed she was playing hard to get but it came across as just not playing) and one was summarily dismissed when it was discovered she was running from the law. That left my roommate Becky and I to vie pathetically for his affections.

For reasons I can only now attribute to a lackadaisical attitude towards school and an overconfidence in his parents’ ability to take care of him the rest of his life (what a winner!), he was constantly over at our apartment. And his favorite game was wrestling. Preferably both of us at the same time. You have no idea how embarrassed I am to have just typed that so please forgive my idiocy and remember I was young – I was on campus part-time at 15, full-time at 17. Young girls do stupid things. Girls Gone Wild is a billion dollar industry based on that one fact. Not that what I did was Girls Gone Wild worthy. Wow, I’m just digging this hole deeper and deeper. Anyhow.

It was during one of these epic wrestling matches that he decided to lay that bit of wisdom on me. My face burned red and I knew I’d lost to the less-pretty but more-sexy Becky. Sure enough he was soon sampling all the flavors of her Lip Smackers – Dr. Pepper was the clear winner – and I was relegated to pretending not to hear despite the fact that Becky and I shared a room. (Sadly, that was not my worst roommate-makeout experience. That award goes to my junior year when I woke up to my bunk bed rocking. While I was getting my beauty rest on the top bunk, my adorable freshman roommate who only wore daisy dukes and camis even in the dead of winter, was playing birth control bingo on the lower bunk. Best part? As he was a (drunk) cop, he handcuffed her to the bed with real handcuffs… and lost the key. Yours truly to the rescue, hiking to his house in the middle of the night to get the spare. Hey at least it got me off the Noah’s Ark Bed.)

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  • Srenda

    As much of a cliche as it is, I would have to say, holding your head high and keeping your shoulders relaxed. It doesn’t matter what you have money wise, clothes wise, education wise, weight wise, it’s how you carry yourself. You have to love yourself deeply and appreciate yourself no matter what because you are in the body that you are in and people will have many opinions about it. But you’re opinion of yourself and who you are and will always be the most important. You have to be unbendable in your opinion of yourself despite what BS people may run at you. Love every part of your body from your cells to your organs to your muscles to your features to your skin. Connect withy our body this way. Smile love into all parts of your body thank it everyday for bringing you this far and keeping it as healthy as you can. There are so many people in the world whose bodies don’t function very well because of chronic illness something genetic or an unfortunate circumstance occuring during their lives, and many find a way to appreciate what they have despite their limitations and even have lots of intimacy and fuulfilling relationships, too. So if that’s not the case for you or anyone reading this imagine how far along you already are. Nothing you do externally can match the swag you can tap into internally and that in and of itself is hella sexy. Let that swag be your clothing, your makeup, your hair, your walk, your talk and you will never forget just how gorgeous, desirable and attractive you are.

    • 2cents

      I need a daily reminder like this! I’m almost 30 and haven’t quite figured out how to not be so critical of myself. I did however have a MAJOR awakening recently. I realized I absolutely have to love myself and really work hard at it. Life is short but its also too long to sit around not appreciating the skin you were born in.