Mimi Syndrome (n)- def. the revolving door of an unhealthy relationship, filled with excuses and emotional abuse. Often characterized by promises that are never kept and constant lies.

We’ve all seen Mimi Faust on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta deal with Stevie J, with the constant back and forth, dishonesty and cheating. The thing is, she’s been dealing with him for fifteen years. Now that they have a child together, she’s still trying to make their relationship work. I don’t fault her for trying, but, there comes a point in a person’s life, when they should realize that people will only treat you the way you allow them to.

I’ve self-diagnosed myself as having Mimi Syndrome and it’s a mentally draining situation to be in. Even till this day, I find myself rationalizing why I keep certain people in my life. I catch myself all the time saying, the devil I know, is better than the angel I didn’t.

Mimi Syndrome isn’t about black men and black women relationships. It’s about human relationships, regardless of skin color. As a woman who has dated interracially since I was 15, I can say that the mess men and women put each other through is universal. Shitty relationships sees no color.

Why do people return to bad relationships? According to Carla Rhodes, Phd., “They’re predictable and they know what they’re getting regardless of how bad it is. Rather than risking getting something worse. There is a comfortability factor, because they already know what to expect, and you don’t have to put yourself out there to meet anyone else and be vulnerable. In order to leave these relationships you need to make a clean break. No contact, leave no openings.”

Unfortunately, making a clean break is sometimes easier said than done, especially when there are ties. Children, mutual property, pets and business ties are all things that can add to the drama of leaving a revolving door relationship. Even when superficial ties are severed, the emotional ties and/or familial ties will still remain.

Sometimes I wish there was a 12 step program for us sufferers of Mimi Syndrome or maybe some good old shock therapy. Every time I go to pick up the phone and dial my version of Stevie J, *buzz*, a nice good electric current to knock me out of my moment of insanity. On so many levels I sympathize with Mimi, but hopefully, Mimi and those like her (myself included) will one day get tired enough and shut the Stevie J’s out forever.

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  • lol “Mimi Syndrome”, I love it, and yes none of us are immune from this affliction, however, it shouldnt take 15 years, or even 1 year to find a cure.

  • OSHH

    @ Vixen

    Thats the thing, you cannot tell anotehr women when to be tired. Folk have to get tired on their own time and when you finally get tired that is when you can walk away and hopefully not look back.

  • tmason823

    My mothers got all the symptoms of Mimi syndrome. In and out of a relationship with a man whose been to jail numerous times (once for murder). Has openly cheated on her and physically abused her. Oh, did I forget to mention that he also has substance abuse issues….Smdh. My mom is an attractive, college-educated and strong woman but I’ve rationalized that she’s obviously given up due to low self-worth, defeatism and/or stupidity. The situation wit Mimi and Stevie really hit a cor for me because I’ve witnessed my mom in these sick “relationships” with sick men over and over. I’m now 22 yrs old but I gotta say I’ve lost a lot of respect for her and have told her as much. I’ve just given up trying to convince her she deserves better.

  • Birthday Girl

    …yep, it seems like a social contract. As long as they are there, at least you got somebody even if its the bare minimum. When your forced to act, you weigh the options of being alone and somebody just leaving bc nobody will put up with the way God made you (or so they make you feel). On the other hand, we have to evaluate ppl’s purpose in our life… friendships and all.

  • Wills

    My Great- Grandaddy used to say, “Cat shit is better than Apple Pie” …

    • honestee

      huh?

    • What Wills is saying honsetee is that people like MiMi rather accept the abuse, lies, cheaitng, and dysfunction. Rather than fixing the situation internatally and externally. By not leaving that Cat shit of life and enjoy the sweetness of apple pie good life.