Careless and reckless are the two names I’ve given a friend of mine. Last night I told him he was going to be the topic of a post today, so none of this will come as a surprise. With the great fodder he gives me, there’s never a dull moment with him, so he knew this time would come. A few weeks ago, he asked me to introduce him to any single friends that were “dimes”. I looked at him as if he was crazy, because first of all, what forty-year old man refers to a woman as currency? Second of all, I had to remind him about his 5 baby mamas.
Yes, 5 baby mamas. By 5 different women.
Some of these women get along with each other, some of these women don’t. There’s children he’s actively involved with, others he barely recognizes. So while he’s looking for “dimes”, I told him that maybe he should look for pennies, if he wants to speak in the terms of currency.
As a woman with a child, I recognize the fact that not many men want to date a single parent. But, it works both ways. Even if I were to bring myself to mention this guy to my girlfriends and inform about the 5 kids by 5 different women, they’ll look at me like I’m crazy. I would never hear the end of it. The first thing out of their mouths would probably be along the lines of his lack of condom usage, why hadn’t he married any of these women, and am I crazy to think they’d be interested in someone with that many kids.
When I tell him all of these issues, he tends to brush them off. As though he’s exempt from women denying him based on his starting line up of children. Then there’s the responsibility that comes into play, when you have multiple baby mamas. Sure you have those that are responsible, who play an active role in their children’s lives, not only financially, but emotionally. But there’s always those who aren’t “stand up” fathers. This not only leads to issues with the child’s mother, but also reflects poorly on the man. I’ve told my friend plenty of times that he needs to step up to the plate and play a more active role in the lives of all of his children. Not just pick and choose based on the relationships with the other mothers. To the men with multiple baby mamas, that play an active role in the lives of your children, good job, you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. But to those that are doing it half-assed, don’t expect to receive a recommendation when you ask your platonic friend to set you up.