Careless and reckless are the two names I’ve given a friend of mine. Last night I told him he was going to be the topic of a post today, so none of this will come as a surprise. With the great fodder he gives me, there’s never a dull moment with him, so he knew this time would come. A few weeks ago, he asked me to introduce him to any single friends that were “dimes”. I looked at him as if he was crazy, because first of all, what forty-year old man refers to a woman as currency? Second of all, I had to remind him about his 5 baby mamas.

Yes, 5 baby mamas. By 5 different women.

Some of these women get along with each other, some of these women don’t. There’s children he’s actively involved with, others he barely recognizes. So while he’s looking for “dimes”, I told him that maybe he should look for pennies, if he wants to speak in the terms of currency.

As a woman with a child, I recognize the fact that not many men want to date a single parent. But, it works both ways. Even if I were to bring myself to mention this guy to my girlfriends and inform about the 5 kids by 5 different women, they’ll look at me like I’m crazy. I would never hear the end of it. The first thing out of their mouths would probably be along the lines of his lack of condom usage, why hadn’t he married any of these women, and am I crazy to think they’d be interested in someone with that many kids.

When I tell him all of these issues, he tends to brush them off. As though he’s exempt from women denying him based on his starting line up of children. Then there’s the responsibility that comes into play, when you have multiple baby mamas. Sure you have those that are responsible, who play an active role in their children’s lives, not only financially, but emotionally. But there’s always those who aren’t “stand up” fathers. This not only leads to issues with the child’s mother, but also reflects poorly on the man. I’ve told my friend plenty of times that he needs to step up to the plate and play a more active role in the lives of all of his children. Not just pick and choose based on the relationships with the other mothers. To the men with multiple baby mamas, that play an active role in the lives of your children, good job, you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. But to those that are doing it half-assed, don’t expect to receive a recommendation when you ask your platonic friend to set you up.

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  • OSHH

    Au Nap that is a great point, and precisely why you slow walk folks and don’t just jump into bed with people, you don’t really and truly know and trust etc.

  • Wepo1

    I think the women who allowed this dude to dump in them 5 times and none wanted to be married before having babies shows the poor state of morals in black women!

    1 man gets to have 5 kids with 5 women and we are talking about the man… smh!

    Women not having any standards or morals when it comes to allowing unqualified men to do as they please is like allowing a pedophile to host a children’s pool party!

  • k

    Yeah, multiple BM’S is a total turn off. If shows irresponsibility and a lack of foresight and planning. It shows he is not committed or loyal or a man or a gentlemen.Somebody with these attributes is not long-term dating material, not to mention they come with the baggage of multiple families. This creates financial and emotional problems,the guy can’t give his all to anyone not the women, or the children because he is selfish and greedy in his pursuit of sex to think about the repercussions of his actions. Even if the women he got pregnant wasn’t some magical love it was still his moral duty to take care of her and that child for the rest of his life, instead of making the same mistake again and again and again. Yeah guys like this are selfish. They are insecure. They don’t know how to and unfortunately some of these dead beats are so insecure they get women pregnant on purpose so they never have to let them go and always have a reason to pry into their life’s. I would run from these guys unless it is your soul mate or something magical because you deserve better.