Couple at bar.

It’s 2013 and you can’t expect a man to do all the work. In the age of “Shevalry” (as opposed to chivalry) it’s time for women to take action to get things done. By things, I mean approaching a man who has caught your eye. Sure you might not want to and some women may think it’s beneath them to approach a man, but if you don’t go after what you want, someone else will.

Here’s a scenario to work with. You’re at your local happy hour spot and a few seats down from you, you spot your “type”. Whatever that may be, he’s there. Sitting alone, drinking a (insert whatever random ass drink men drink nowadays). He’s also watching the game that’s playing on the screen above the bar, so he doesn’t exactly notice you, noticing him.  So what do you do?  Do you sit there just aimlessly glancing his way until you catch his attention? Or do you put your big girl panties on and go in for the kill?  Fear of rejection, you say? Eh, so what.  You never know until you try.

5 Ways To Approach A Guy:

  • Men like drinks. Buy him a drink. Depending on the environment, maybe you’re at a night club, lounge or bar, find out what he’s drinking and buy him a drink.  But don’t have the waitress or bartender take it to him. Do it yourself.  Cut out the  middle man and go for broke.  Chances are he’s probably never had a woman buy him a drink before, so you’ll get points for that.
  • Have we met before? Even if you haven’t, that’s a good conversation starter.  Who knows, nowadays with the six degrees of separation dwindling, chances are you probably do have a few friends in common.
  • Got a wing-woman? Put her to work. If you’re shy, and you’re already out with your homegirl, ask her to do your dirty work.  But just make sure she doesn’t try to push up on your prospect in the process.
  • The damsel in distress is so archaic, but it works. Men like to feel needed and usually (if they’re raised right) when they see a woman in the need of help, the cape is immediately put on.  Pretend like you need directions to a bathroom if you’re in a social setting. If you’re at a grocery store, and someone catches your eye, ask where the tissue aisle is located.  Boarding an airplane? Ask if they could possibly help you place your items in the overhead bin.
  • Just say “hi”. Keep it simple. A “hi” can open the door to some of the most amazing conversations ever.

Clutchettes, when you see a man that interests you? How do you approach him?

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  • Furious Styles

    “This comes of desperate…If a man wants you, let him come to you…classic advice that appeals to male nature…”

    If the passive approach works for a woman reading this, ignore everything I write and go to the next comment.

    I don’t think technique matters as much as women giving themselves permission in their minds to start something in the first place. For those who think a woman doing anything to get it started is “bad” or “against the natural order” or “I will be doing all the work in the relationship”…1) Using computers and driving cars is not “natural”, 2)there’s a world of difference between saying “Hi, How are you” and bending over backwards by asking out and carrying the whole conversation.

    I think the dating pool would be less polluted if more men stepped up without having to get it perfect every time. AND by the same token, the irony for many women is that avoiding intiation because it makes you “desperate” leaves you to only accept dates from guys who approach you. That means that you’re now the one “taking what you can get.” Irony-when the literal outcome is the opposite of the intended.

  • cosmicsistren

    My reading comprehension is pretty good. From what I read you wasn’t telling what approach women used to pursue you. You gave unsolicited advice that I rather not see. I have writen countless times before I come here to read the views of women. I don’t want to read what some man has to say. We get enough of that everywhere. Sorry, I’m not one of those woman that will coddle you and express my gratitude for your wonderful opinion. That’s just how I feel. “Nothing more, nothing less”