girlfriends

Sunday night I settled into my usual tv watching routine. First, The Walking Dead, then True Detective and finally Girls. I can’t say that I watch Girls necessarily because I’m head over heels for it, but I do enjoy two characters on the show, Shosh and Adam.

During Sunday’s episode, the twenty-something group of girlfriends took to North Fork, which is basically Martha’s Vineyard for those who feel they’re too good for the vineyard. The purpose of the trip, organized by Marnie, was to rekindle their friendship and talk about their issues with each other. Things don’t go exactly the way Marnie had planned. They didn’t do the bonding activities, their group dinner was a bust because of unexpected guests and Shosh basically read each and every one of her friends from head to toe after she got drunk.

At the end of the episode, even with all of the drama, everything seemed to be ok between the group of girlfriends. The operative word is seemed.

Let’s face it, sometimes friendships run their course. People move, grow apart, find other interesting people to hang out with. But sometimes friendships can just blow up in your face at the drop of a dime.

At what point do you walk away from a friendship? We all can’t gather our friends and escape to North Fork like the characters in Girls, to talk it out.  Or is talking about even necessary.  Sometimes fading to black, and removing yourself from the situation is easier.

Clutchettes, what did it take for you to realize a friendship has ran its course? How did you end it?

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  • Memi

    When you realize that there is no reciprocity in place and there is a lack of willingness to match that reciprocity. When you realize the person you have grown into leads you further away from the person they are or have become. When your expectations of friendship no longer align. People come into our lives at various points and the key is to realize when that time is through. Love them, and yourself, enough to let them go. As you mature (not necessarily get older, because some people never mature even well into their old age), you will realize that not every friendship is meant to serve you through your lifespan, and also, it doesn’t mean that you don’t still have love and compassion for the person. It doesn’t mean you have to have an all out blowout either. I step back and read the writings on the wall and make it my business to pay attention when people show and tell me who they are.

    • Jeannette

      Thank you so much for these words. You read my heart :)

  • cosmicsistren

    I watch and really listen to people. I listen on how they tell me they treat other people. If they treat them poorly then I know it is a matter of time before I get the same treatment.

    People always say a good man is hard to find. I say a good friend is just as hard to find.

  • TECY

    It’s so ironic that I’m reading about the topic of friendship and letting go her on Clutch. Over the past few years I’ve experienced a series of situations that had me really evaluate my friendships. These ” friendships” are relationships with girls I’ve known since I was a preteen (I’m now beyond 30). But as your life evolves ( family, career, perspectives, philosophies, etc.) your friends don’t always share the same journey as you. At times there seems to be a widening gap that you can’t understand how to bridge or make amends to fix. For most of my life I’ve tried to hold on to relationships often just because they had existed for so long. But now I find myself ” letting go”…knowing that the season has changed. Making new friends isn’t so bad.

  • noirluv45

    After reading all of the responses to this article, I can take bits and pieces of each story and relate to every drop of it!

    I refuse to have “friends” who take advantage and those who are toxic. Life really is too short. True friends are hard to come by.

    I must say the friends I quickly get rid of are the one-sided friends. You know the friends that talk about themselves from the time you say “Hello” until you hang up. The friends that couldn’t care less about anything in your life, but use you are a sounding board for theirs. They are the ones, like someone else said, that call you and you KNOW they want something or have a complaint. I don’t mind listening to my friends and being a sounding board because that’s what friends do, but I don’t like being used, and I expect friends to reciprocate.

  • I am pretty strict NOW about keeping my friendships drama-free. When I was younger I refused to let go of friends because some of them had been in my life since kindergarten. I wised up and since then I only allow sweet, supportive women into my life. It’s not hard to find them because they are the ones who return calls, remember birthdays, compliment you, etc. so I focus on those women and ignore the bratty ones.