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Two things happened recently that made me shake my head and wonder why we can be so hard on our fellow sisters at times.

Since the beginning of the NFL season, memes have been circling social media poking fun at veteran sports journalist Pam Oliver’s hair. Oliver, who regularly checks in from the sidelines, was raked over the coals for her hairstyle during the NFC Championship game. Photos of Oliver along side Chewbacca began popping up across Facebook and Instagram feeds, and many took to Twitter to pick her apart.

In an interview with Philly.com, Oliver admitted to being surprised, but unfazed, by the criticism surrounding her hair.

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“It’s the psychology of it that I want to understand,” she told Philly.com’s Jenice Armstrong. “It’s comical. This whole thing is just comical.”

She continued: “You’re out there, trying a to catch players, get some last-minute stuff, get your reports turned around quickly, and I may or may not have time to put on lip gloss or powder my face,” Oliver explained, adding that she doesn’t have hair stylists and makeup artists with her on game day. “I know TV is a visual medium, but there are times when you kind of hope that people are listening to what you’re saying as opposed to judging you if a strand of hair is not in place or if you have only got one eye lined or something.”

The second incident that made me question the state of our sisterhood occurred after Essence featured photos of three natural divas on their Facebook page. Instead of focusing on the women’s hairstyles, a few sisters decided to go in on Rocquelle Porch—the darkest woman of the trio—because of her bold red lipstick.

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Comments ranged from “Hell naw ugly sh-t” and “I thought the bottom one was ‘ Ms. Jay,’” to “Lol!! This is why I don’t wear red lipstick. It’s just vile!!! The lady in the bottom corner….smh!!” and “My, my that red lipstick is ugly as pure hell! It’s not for everyone.” While several commenters choose to pick on Porch for her shade of lipstick, others wondered why the sisterhood was missing.

Christina Walker wrote:

“These comments are so rude. Crazy thing is some of you are wearing red lips in your main pics.  You are spewing your self hatred on another sister. STOP. It’s not that serious it’s just makeup, it isn’t real… But her feelings and emotions are! We put such limitations on ourselves and others because of fear. @rocquelle porch thank you for responding in such a positive way! Your light shines from within and you are beautiful!”

Though many of us will rise up against men who dare question our beauty, intelligence, or value, some of our sisters are quick to tear each other down.

What’s up with that?

Clutchettes, you’ve read mean comments around the web and have probably been around a callous woman or two. But in 2014 are we still our own worst enemy? And if so, how can we be better sisters to one another, whether we like them (or their style choices) or not? Weigh in!

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  • Shane

    yes, black women are their own worst enemies. No one hates black women more than the black woman herself

  • aguy

    “Bucket -O- Crabs” it seems,more often than not