In my lifetime, I’ve met plenty of black narcissists. Way too many to count. But a recent article written for Salon by Ylonda Gault Caviness, author of the forthcoming release Child, Please: How Mama’s Old School Lessons Helped Me Check Myself Before I Wrecked Myself, states that black parents can’t raise narcissists.
I’m going to need Caviness to reevaluate her thinking and google “Kanye West”.
According to a recent study by the National Academy of Sciences our nation is currently raising a generation of narcissistic kids—children who are receiving the message from their parents that they are “more entitled,” or “more special” than other kids. We black parents don’t have to worry about that. Black parents in America don’t raise narcissists. Never have. Probably never will.
Sadly, black folks have never had the luxury of over-valuing our children. Sure, we love our kids just as much as whites. And we fill them up with affection as best we can. But it would be downright reckless and dangerous for us to fill their heads with such utter nonsense. To set them up with expectations that the world is waiting to embrace them and all their awesomeness. History has shown us that if we want to keep them alive, our kids must be taught, and taught early, that teachers, police and other authority figures may see them quite ordinary—at best.
What Caviness doesn’t realize is, is that narcissism happens when a child becomes an extension of a parent, and that has no color-lines. Black, White, Asian parents — all have the ability to have a special little snowflake child(ren). There are tons of black parents who ignore anything that isn’t perfection. Look at the tons of black musicians, actors, athletes out there. I’m quite sure some of them would be classified as narcissists.
As a person who’s dated a narcissist, I can definitely say, I blame his parents. And they’re also narcissists. Narcissism begets narcissism.
Clutchettes, do you think black parents can raise narcissists?