There’s a good reason people make bucket lists. It’s because despite our strong desires to conquer the world and achieve a laundry list of goals, life happens and often times those happenings get in the way of us pursuing what we really want. For most of us that means things like not zip lining through the Costa Rican jungle or becoming fluent in French. For Tyra Banks it means not having kids.

In an interview with Peoplethe woman who wrote the book on modelpreneurship was very candid about her fertility struggles and the missed opportunity to have children the good old fashioned way. She told the mag:

“When I turned 40, the one thing I was not happy about is that I did not have kids. I’m like, ‘Damn, the clock is ticking! Since I was 24, I used to say every year, ‘I will have kids in three years.’ I kept saying it over and over again. Because my business is very entrepreneurial. I’m not for hire, so I have to do everything. I kept trying to find that time for that to happen.”

Tyra didn’t actually find that time until 41 and, unfortunately, after undergoing IVF procedures she’s finding that time is not on her side.

“When you’re like, ‘OK, I’m just going to do it,’ then it’s not so easy as you get older. I’ve had some not happy moments with that, very traumatic moments. It’s difficult as you get older. It’s not something that can just happen.”

Though Tyra is still hopefully she can have “a litter” of kids, science tells us she’ll be lucky to have one. Should she conceive, it’s likely many women will use her tale of hope as assurance they can keep ignoring the ticking of their own biological clock. But the better lesson might be to think about the principle of making time for things you truly want.

At first Tyra’s comments sounded weird to me. Every woman knows there will come a day when she can no longer birth a child — that’s just not something you forget — but what some of us, particularly career women, do forget is having a baby isn’t like sitting down to write a book or start a business or buy a home. There are a lot of variables that don’t follow a standard procedure like putting together a business plan or applying for a loan. If you want to go the traditional route, you first need to make time to find a partner to reproduce with, and beyond that you need to discuss fertility plans with your physician long before you get to what should be the fun part of making a baby. For some reason, making a 3-to-5-year plan for our finances or our entrepreneurial endeavors becomes second nature, but taking the time to at least explore reproductive options before we run out of them often doesn’t cross our mind. Does that mean you don’t want children as badly as you think or is the issue an underestimation of the probability that your body might betray you when you finally find the time to bring a new life into this world?

 Clutchettes, do you worry about finding time to have kids, either now or down the line?

Image Credits: Getty Images

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  • Mico

    Yes I do worry. Especially as l see most of my peers, friends, and family members having babies, getting married/engaged, coupled up etc. I often worry if I may even be able to have kids, let alone find someone who is a great partner/husband and would be a great father. I just got out of a relationship or nolationship as I’m calling it with someone who at one point I thought was the one and who I thought would be a great father. And not to say that there are ‘good men’ that would be great fathers out there, but I guess right now I’m a bit jaded about men period. Seems like they’re always lying or cheating or playing games. But although I know I’m not ready mentally emotionally physically or financially ready to have kids or even be in a relationship (emotionally) right now, but I do want them when I am ready. If not I will just have to make myself be content with auntie, older cousin, and possibly adoption or foster care.

    • RaiseTheBar

      “…find someone who is a great partner…”

      HUGE challenge whether it be her finding him or him finding her. While it may appear so many others are finding the RIGHT ones, many are settling for “Well, I Could Do a Whole Lot Worse” at a HUGE PRICE of their Well-being and/or the Well-being of their children.

      Too often found myself hurting for CHILDREN knowing their “mother” and/or “father”; OR asking why she/he ever MARRIED that.

      It’s very TROUBLING when children spend too many years UNDOing damages caused by Individuals who created them who are ill-equipped to make a commitment to PARENTHOOD and are clueless to what parenthood entails.

      Having kids doesn’t automatically equate to QUALITY PARENTING of children.

    • Mico

      It sure doesn’t… which is why even if I do ever get married, I want to be sure that my partner would still parent whatever children we may have together. Because marriage is no guarantee that a person will stick around. But if a partner values parenting and taking loving care of their children, at least the children would have a healthy relationship with their parent in spite of the parents staying together.

    • RaiseTheBar


      This understanding, commitment to choosing QUALITY partners for parenting is a MUST because the needs of CHILDREN are FIRST!!!