How did you start 2016? Writing new year’s resolutions? Hitting the gym hard core? Praying and meditating more? How about increasing the divide between black men and women by making generalizations about the opposite sex based on your limited personal experience? No? Not you either? Well then you started the year off far better than this Reditt user who — three days into the new year — exemplified why the concept of black love is as foreign to some as the telegraph. Here’s what was written on the public forum under the subject line: Black Women Lack Femininity
tldr: Black women are the most masculine women out of all the women i’ve dealt with.
In my experience with dealing with women of all different races. I find that black women are the worst when it comes to displaying feminine characteristics.
As a black man myself, I feel that we as black men have been introduced to feminism early on in our lives. While feminism is unfortunately growing in popularity, black men have a lot of experience in dealing with this due to the fact that black women tend to be on the extreme side when it comes to this. Their extreme case of masculinity has to be the biggest turn off when I have to deal with black women.
EDIT: I forgot to mention that I am referring to American black women. Foreign black women are much more submissive and feminine than the women I mentioned above.
Do you feel that black women are the least feminine?
No, you simpleton, I don’t feel that black women are the least feminine and here’s why.
Happy New Year and a delayed Merry Christmas! I’m not sure what gifts Santa left under your tree this year, but I certainly hope an Oxford dictionary was one of them because you seem to lack a clear understanding of masculinity, femininity, and, the greatest of all, feminism.
Being a feminist, which in it’s simplest form means supporting equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women, is in no way related to one’s display of masculinity or femininity. That’s why, for reasons likely unknown to you, men can be feminists. It’s also why there’s nothing unfortunate, as you posited, about the reality that feminism is growing in popularity. If you think the fact that an increasing number of men and women believe the latter should be on par with the former is a problem, you sir, are the one with the problem — but of course we already knew that when you decided to create a public thread about how “Black women are the most masculine women” out of all those you have dealt with.
I’m thoroughly curious what your definition of masculine is, and while I hate to turn this into a tit for tat situation, I can’t help but provide a little insight into why you might have come to the conclusion that you have. If by calling black women masculine you mean we tend to be independent, assertive, uncompromising, and in control of our destinies then by all means, carry on with that label. But in doing so, understand where those qualities come from. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that black women are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs in the United States, or the fact that 72% of black women are single moms, or a whopping 1.5 million black men are missing because they’re dead or incarcerated, or the fact that black women are the ones spearheading the Black Lives Matter movement. If you consider raising children, owning and operating your own business, and fighting for social justice masculine qualities, then yes, black women are indeed the manliest of them all. But I can tell by your reference to “foreign” black women being more submissive and feminine that your assessment isn’t about any of those things.
You seem to equate leadership, strength, and assertiveness with masculinity, which I could get if it was 1964 and men were the only ones allowed to display such characterstics. But it’s 2016, women — of all races — are wearing the pants more simply because we’ve decided not to be content in maintaining the lowest position in society and have now surpassed men on college campuses and in the workplace. But let me explain something to you about those other women of all races that you’ve encountered. It’s easy to be feminine, in the traditional sense of the word, when you have a masculine counterpart to depend on — especially if said male makes 21 percent more than you, owns a home, and is more educated. While some of the factors that lead to that racial wealth gap are out of black men’s control, what is in your control is having respect for the plight of the black woman and stepping up to be the backbone so that she doesn’t have to be so “masculine,” as you say.
But in your petty arrogance you seem to assume black women enjoy carrying the weight of the world — which by the way also includes black men’s burdens — on their shoulders. Perhaps there wouldn’t be a chip there sometimes as well if our more masculine counterparts actually appreciated the thankless sacrifices we make simply on the hope that one day it’ll all be worth it. That one day someone will acknowledge all we’ve gone through and everything we’ve done so the black family remains a reality rather than a foreign concept. Speaking of which, you should understand why foreign black women don’t behave the same way (in your opinion). Their struggle is not like ours. Their sacrifice is not like ours. And their devotion (to you above all) is not like ours. So, yeah, we might be a little extreme. But understand that level of extremity matches our love for self, and for some reason our love for brothas like you who repeatedly seize any opportunity they can to tear us down.
If you want to see an American black woman be more feminine, try behaving more masculine and providing a safe space for her to release her fears and relieve her burdens — traits you should know aren’t wholly feminine but would be a welcome change from always having to appear strong and fearless. Perhaps you’d find more black women willing to be submissive if they could trust there was a black man to lead them in the right direction. It’s a shame with such a self-professed early introduction to feminism you could be so ignorant as to what it’s all about all these years later. Here’s hoping you one day find a black woman willing to take the time to bring you up to speed because I’m fairly certain most of them are as turned off with you as you are them.