Black men choosing not to date black women is nothing new. We hear it all the time. Still, it’s a stretch to say this is some sort of twisted epidemic because in reality – it isn’t. The fact that the separatist click bait/fire starter is so common though, is disturbing.

Iyanla Vanzant, life fixer of the OWN network, gathered together three black men in their 20s 30s and 40s to ask them why they don’t date black women.

Twenty-eight-year-old Bo, a business owner, said his reason for avoiding Black women is that he doesn’t want to deal with their strong personalities. He said, and I quote Black women need to, “You know, stay in a woman’s place.”

But Bo mentioned that his issue with Black women stems from watching his own mother struggle with anger. Still, he commended his mother for making sure she didn’t pass it on to him.

Then 33-year-old Koro said that Black women don’t want him because he’s a God-fearing man, practicing celibacy. He also said that in the church, if you don’t have a collar, the women don’t want to talk to him. His story is strange and in no way indicative of any majority so we’re not sure why he was even on the show.

Then there was Michael, a 46-year-old musician who traveled a lot during his childhood. When he came back to his hometown, he said that the Black women around him said he was different, talked and dressed funny and listened to weird music. He also mentioned that his cousins made fun of him.
That’s quite a few of our life stories. But Michael said that because of these experiences, he enters most interactions with Black women believing that they will find him strange.

When Huff Post Black Voices posted about the episode, several folks on Twitter voiced their own opinions.

What are your thoughts on this tired topic? Haven’t black women been demonized and stereotyped in the media more than just about anybody else? Isn’t it time to let this ‘issue’ go and continue allowing certain black men to have their preferences all while avoiding them ourselves?


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